25 to Wife

by J. C. Robinson

  I checked to see if I had already hit the send button on my text and she was just responding to me. Nope, she had messaged me first. I leaned back in my seat, a wide grin stretching across my face.

  Five minutes later, I had composed myself enough to respond. I was a mess.

  Hey, I was just about to text you. Did you want to go to a concert? Bon Iver is in town this weekend.

  I sent the message and waited. Did she like Bon Iver? I should have asked. I didn’t even ask what’s up. Was that bad? I’d never had trouble texting before, but now this girl prevented me from basic levels of functioning.

  Her response came through shortly.

  Sure! I’ve never heard him, but my friend Jenna loves him, so I’ll trust you it’ll be good!

  At that moment, I remembered the concert was on the day of my favorite guitar store’s one-day sale. I cursed to myself silently but quickly shook that off. There’d always be another. Despite my disappointment in missing the sale, it took all my willpower not to end up leaning back and reveling in her acceptance. I opened up my computer and typed in the website. I added two tickets to the cart and brought out my credit card. I texted her back before completing the order.

  Did she want to come too?

  I hadn’t even thought about asking that, my fingers just did the typing.

  She’d love that. If you don’t mind?

  No, of course not! Just let me know.

  I waited, palms sweaty. But why? She had already accepted.

  She said yes. Can’t wait!

  I clicked the two tickets over to three and purchased them. Money well spent. I never thought I’d be choosing anything over the guitar flash sale. She didn’t need to know I chose her over the sale. I didn’t want to give her the impression that I liked her too much. Even though my current guitar was on its last leg, this concert was a stepping-stone to getting Kelsey to get to know me. There was little that was more important to me at the moment.

  I stood up and paced the room. I thought the jitters would go away but they stayed in full force. The addition of her friend Jenna added a whole new dimension to this date. Would Jenna tell Kelsey that I was worthless? All I could do was hope that Jenna liked me and saw in me what Kelsey seemed to so far.

  I shook my head and chuckled. I was losing it. I turned my phone on again, clicking over to the contacts and calling Mema. She picked up on the first ring.

  “Mema, I need your help.”

  “Do you need me to cook something for you?” she asked.

  “No, no,” I said. “It’s not that.”

  “Oh, lord,” she said. “Is it that girl again?”

  I hesitated, giving her the answer she needed.

  “Paul,” she said. “What is it now?”

  I told her how I’d invited Kelsey to a concert and her friend was going to accompany us. I described how I was full of nerves and felt like a schoolgirl with a crush. My lips moved a mile a minute, describing everything.

  “Paul, Paul,” she interrupted me. “This girl must be something special. My soft-spoken, level-headed grandson has finally met his match. Come on over. We’ll knock those jitters out of you.”

  I laughed. “Mema, I’m just nervous. She makes me feel like a different person.”

  “All I will say is that she is probably feeling the same way that you are now. You said she texted you first? What does that say to you?”

  “Well…” I started.

  “Exactly, she’s into you. And I know what you’re going to say. Something, something about not deserving her. Alisha was a witch. I have half a mind to go take my cane to her forehead. You musn’t base your perception of yourself on one she-wolf’s actions.”

  “Thanks, Mema.”

  “Go take a cold shower,” she said. “That’ll kill those jitters. And if you need any food…”

  “Yes, I’ll come to you,” I agreed. “Well, I’ll talk to you soon. Thanks again.”

  “Of course, anytime. I’m signing off now. I don’t say goodbye anymore – just I’m signing off.”

  I smiled. This wasn’t new, and I doubted it was the end of the call.

  “Did you get to the service the other day? Our pastor had a beautiful service. I couldn’t stay long because my hip was acting up…”

  ---

  The day of the concert came and I was outside waiting to be picked up. I was less jittery, just because my body couldn’t physically be nervous for multiple days in a row. It had finally worn itself out.

  Sitting on the curb, I was enjoying the weather and the fact that I had worried myself so much that I couldn’t worry anymore, at least for the time being. Also, Mema’s reassurance on the phone had done wonders for my confidence.

  Eventually, a silver Mazda pulled up with two cute girls sitting in the front. Actually, let me amend that – a cute girl who I presumed was Jenna, and Kelsey, who actually took my breath away. For the first time, I now knew what they meant. I forgot to breathe when they were pulling up.

  She sat in the passenger seat with a smile that shone through the windshield. Her smile never failed to give me butterflies. Her smile, with a lotta teeth (perfect ones at that), I was sure I’d never forget. She waved me over with an excitement that was contagious. I kicked myself into gear, remembering how to walk as I made my way into the backseat. I opened the door and slid in.

  “Paul, this is the wonderful Jenna.” Kelsey had turned her head. “Jenna, this is Paul.”

  Smiling at Jenna as she looked back in the rearview mirror, I said, “I’m a little disappointed I didn’t get a nice adjective, too.”

  The girls laughed. “You know,” Kelsey said, “I was debating whether to give you one or not, but I’ve already told Jenna enough about you that it would be redundant.” She turned back to face forward. I kept my eyes on her as I put on my seatbelt. She wore a braided headband that held her blond hair from her eyes, but still allowed it to flow down her back, and a blue dress that came three fourths of the way down her thigh. It suited her perfectly. My view was limited from the back, but blue definitely was her color.

  “So, are you excited?” she asked from upfront.

  “I could listen to Bon Iver forever and never get sick of him,” I answered. “I'm beyond excited.” Especially because I’m going with you, I wanted to add. I might have mustered the courage if Jenna hadn’t been there.

  “If he’s half as good as you two say, it should be a great concert,” Kelsey said.

  “When have I ever let you down?” Jenna asked.

  “That one time you—”

  “Oh hush,” Jenna interrupted. “Don't actually answer that.” Jenna looked in the rearview mirror. “I’m actually very reliable.”

  “Now I worry what lies Kelsey has said about me,” I said. Or worse, what truths.

  We arrived about a half hour later, making light pleasant conversation. So far, so good. Exiting the car, we headed toward the venue.

  “I hope you don’t mind seats,” I said. “Sitting on the lawn is not my favorite.”

  “Seats sound good!” Kelsey said, while Jenna nodded. “But how much did you pay for these tickets? How much do we owe you?”

  “It’s cool.” I waved her off. “You drove so we’re good.”

  Kelsey opened her mouth to protest, but I spoke again before she could.

  “Do you drink? We’re passing the concessions.” I pointed to the stand to our side.

  Kelsey looked between me and Jenna, seemingly deciding whether she wanted to debate the payment. “Yeah,” she eventually said. “I’ll get something. You?”

  I didn’t drink much, not that I was opposed to it but nowadays the opportunity didn’t present itself much. “Sure.”

  “What’ll you have? I'll pay.” Her smile was back.

  “Uh, surprise me?” I was rusty on my alcoholic beverages.

  We walked into line and Jenna left to go to the bathroom.

  “So, no favorite drink?” she asked.

  “No,” I said. “My
drinking buddies all disappeared after I got out.” Wanting to judge her reaction at the mention of prison, I looked at her. She was still smiling, no change that I could detect.

  “Well then, we will just have to get you re-acquainted with Mr. Beer.” She ran her hand down my arm. Goosebumps.

  “What if I want to go with something fruity?” I asked, smiling as I crossed my arms.

  “Okay, fine. Mr. Alcohol. Better?”

  “Whatever works.” I shrugged. “I told you to surprise me.”

  Orange crushes in hand, the two of us made it to the front of the line, and Jenna joined us as we left the stand. We made our way to our seats and sat down. A few people stood on stage, testing the instruments.

  “Alright, my turn for the bathroom,” Kelsey said. “Don’t let her tell you anything embarrassing about me.”

  “I would never,” I said.

  Kelsey left and Jenna turned to me. “So, as one of her best friends, it’s time for me to make sure you’re the real deal.” She smiled, but I could tell she meant business.

  “Okay,” I said. “Is this a test?”

  “Not exactly. Just a friendly chat.”

  “Sounds menacing,” I said. “But, okay – shoot.”

  “How close are you with your family and friends?”

  I guess Kelsey didn’t mention all my friends disappearing during my imprisonment. “I don’t talk to many friends nowadays. One of my co-workers is cool. And my family is almost non-existent. My best friend is my grandma, as weird as it sounds.”

  “Interesting,” she said. “That’s cute. If it’s true…”

  I laughed. “Are you going to verify all of this?”

  She returned a smile. “Of course not, my background checks aren’t that extensive. Except for the polygraph.” She let the joke sit in the air for a bit before continuing. “What would you be doing today if you weren't here?”

  “That’s an easy one. I’d be at the guitar sale. There are some huge deals. My current guitar is going downhill fast.”

  “Oh, so you play?” Jenna asked. “Kelsey might have mentioned that. What do you think of her?”

  Eight

  Kelsey

  The water from the sink splashed through my hands, some reaching the front of my dress. I shrugged it off and looked at myself in the ladies’ room mirror. The date was going well so far. I had no complaints. I reached for the paper towels to dry my hands. Jenna would likely be grilling him by now – I’d need to go relieve him. I took one last glance at myself in the mirror and tried to bring my grin down a notch, but failed. I was enjoying myself too much I guess. I shrugged and walked out of the bathroom door.

  As I left the restroom and the door slammed behind me, I shuddered. Suddenly, I was reminded of going to the amusement park with my dad. I thought I was over this. I stood still, seeing little me clear as day. She was lost, tears streaming down her face. Young Kelsey walked through the congregated adults, looking for the familiar face of her father. She had no luck finding him – he had disappeared, again. He’d said he would be waiting outside of the bathroom, but when she emerged, he wasn’t still sitting on the bench. I watched as little me, bows tied in her hair, wandered through the park for what felt like hours. It felt like she had covered the whole park, looking for him.

  Eventually, she found him. He was chatting with an unknown lady, one arm leaning against a wall. She walked up to him and tugged on his shirt sleeve. He rolled his eyes and shooed her off to wait for him elsewhere – this lady was his priority now. She took two steps backward and sat in the dirt behind him, waiting for him to finish with the stranger.

  I shook my head. Relax, that was years ago. Those words never comforted me, though. There was no way to stop the thoughts from seeping into my head and affecting whatever I was doing at the time. Freezing up and letting it pass had been my only option for years now.

  I took a deep breath, finally able to take in a lungful of air. The panic was passing. I no longer felt frozen, and I had escaped the episode without tears. Tears came less often nowadays but did happen on occasion. Now that my chest wasn’t so tight, I could get back to the concert. The worst was over, at least for this incident.

  I reached the seating area and looked over to see Paul and Jenna laughing. I smiled. At least they were having a good time. To see them getting along was thrilling to say the least. As I made my way down the steps, I saw Paul bashfully run his hands over his short, nearly buzzed hair. I wondered what Jenna was prodding him on. I took a final deep breath as I shuffled down our aisle. Jenna would drag me home in the blink of an eye if she saw that I was upset, probably blaming it on Paul.

  They both turned and saw me as I approached them. I caught Paul’s face and watched as it lit up with the realization that I was back. I was a bit taken aback at how genuine his involuntary reactions were. He had already managed to flatter me more than the past several guys combined, and I’d only seen him three times.

  “We were worried about you!” Jenna said, moving to allow me into the seat between the two of them. “What were you doing in there?” She lowered her voice slightly and eyed me suspiciously.

  I waved her off. “Oh, there was just a line – you know how those restrooms can be.”

  “Well, we’re glad you’re back,” Paul said, leaning forward. “I thought I’d have to be stuck with her for the entire show.” Grinning, he gestured to Jenna.

  She rolled her eyes and sat back.

  “I can see you two have become fast friends,” I said, my chest filling with warmth over my two worlds colliding pleasantly.

  The stage had gone quiet, and a few people walked out with instruments. I presumed it was the opening band. “Are we a fan of the opener?”

  Paul shrugged. “Haven’t heard much about them.” We looked to Jenna.

  “Neither have I,” she said. “But Bon Iver would never let us down with a poor opener.”

  Paul nodded his head in agreement. We sat back and listened as the band hit a few random playful notes before beginning. Their set was calming and seemed to set a good tone, judging by Paul and Jenna’s reactions. I was getting excited to experience Bon Iver as the opener walked off.

  “Anyone want anything?” Paul asked, standing up. “My stomach’s growling.”

  “No thanks,” I said.

  He left and Jenna turned toward me immediately. Her grin was as wide as I’d ever seen it.

  “Yes?” I asked, almost scared of what she was going to say.

  “Well,” she started, “Paul and I had a little chat while you were gone. Which by the way I still don’t buy the whole line thing, but I’m more excited about our chat so I’ll forget about that for now.”

  “What did he say?” I turned to face her. “Wait, what did you ask him?”

  “I asked him what he thought of you.”

  Oh, this would be good. “And?” I asked, when she didn’t elaborate.

  “He took a minute to think about it, but he eventually told me that he thought you were one of a kind. I get the impression he doesn’t think he deserves you though. He spoke as if he was worried he didn’t have anything to offer you, if that makes sense.”

  That’s silly. “Not too much sense to me, but go ahead.”

  “I don’t know why though, maybe someone hurt him? Maybe his family is shit like yours.” She shrugged. “Then you two would be perfect for each other.”

  As much as I wanted to roll my eyes, Jenna was perceptive and I appreciated her telling me what she’d figured out. I didn’t know how she’d done it in a matter of minutes, though. “I think that’s partially right. But I think it was his ex. She turned him in.”

  “For what?” she asked. I had told her about prison, but not much more than that.

  I looked to see if he was returning. “We’ll talk about it later.” I bounced slightly in my seat, eager to hear more. “But wait, is there more?”

  “Oh! I forgot the best part.” Jenna beamed as she clapped her hands together. “Did you
know he’s missing a big guitar sale for you?”

  “No,” I said. “He didn’t tell me.”

  “That’s even better,” she said. “Kelsey, I think you might, just maybe, have found a decent guy.”

  I sat back and stared toward the stage, idly watching the band set up. He skipped something for me? I can’t remember the last time I was made a priority. And I had only known him for a few dates. I turned back to Jenna. “This is uncharted territory,” I said. Jenna was engaged and had been with her fiancé, Drew, for years now. She should be able to offer me advice on dealing with good guys. “Drew’s a good guy. What do I do?”

  “Just go with it,” she said, placing a hand on my wrist. “Relax, this is the benefit of meeting a decent guy. Things are easier, no worrying about their intentions. Just enjoy this one. You deserve it.”

  “You’re right,” I said. “Thank you. I knew bringing you along was a good idea.”

  She feigned a frown. “Well, I hope it wasn’t too hard a decision.”

  “Nope!” I flashed a quick smile at her as I spotted Paul walking down the stairs.

  Once he rejoined us, we turned our attention to Bon Iver. They began and I was instantly enthralled. The audience was quiet as the sound of instruments filled the venue And then, his voice flowed over me. I had instant goosebumps, and it was only the first song. I glanced over to Paul, who was focused on the stage. I felt my worries melt away at that moment. I was sure they’d return eventually, but for now it was nearly a perfect moment. It became perfect when the third song hit and I reached out and placed my hand on Paul’s. His focus on the stage barely faltered as his thumb gently ran over my hand. I expected a wink from Jenna, but she was in a trace when I looked over.

  At the end, I was ready to deem the concert a complete success. Paul suggested we leave during the encore to beat most of the traffic, and we agreed. We walked away while they played a song called The Wolves. It was the perfect one to leave on, and I couldn’t resist walking to the car with a wild grin on.