Finding Abel (Rebel Hearts Book 1)
Page 21
“It wasn’t?” I knew that, I’d always believed in his music. It’s what he was meant to do, but he’d just said he’d always believed that was his mistake. Could he maybe make up his mind?
“No, it wasn’t. Letting you break up with me was, though. Thinking I had to give you up was. Thinking I had to make a choice between you and my music at all was. Cheating on you because I was a coward, and afraid that I was going to lose you no matter what, was. Thinking we were too young to promise forever was. We would have made it work.”
“How do you know?”
“Because music was only ever a part of my dream. You were all of it, Abbi, and without you, the rest is nothing. I’m telling you the truth right now when I say, I could never pick up a guitar again after today, and if I had you, I’d be just fine, but I just spent the last eight years living it the other way around, and it doesn’t work for me. Not even close. I was ready to finally make it right when Katya went and faked a pregnancy.”
“What!” I nearly shouted, and then quickly lowered my voice. “She faked it?”
He closed his eyes, exhaling slowly, and then opened them again. I could see him working to shutter that pain. “It doesn’t matter right now. What matters is that after everything, you and I are both standing here. Somehow, through it all, we both found our way back, and now I can show you how serious I am, how serious I was two months ago.” He turned and moved across the room, bending to retrieve something from the top drawer of his nightstand. I could see it was still full of worn journals and notebooks, probably the same ones he’d filled up in high school, but I couldn’t see what he grabbed. Until he straightened and faced me again.
My reaction to this little velvet box was very different to the first one. My heart stopped, my breath caught, my eyes grew wide as saucers and my knees grew weak. He took the first step toward me, and with a stutter my heart began to beat again, double-time and a swarm of butterflies, or maybe bats, began aerial acrobatics in my stomach.
With easy, confident strides, his legs ate up the distance between us, and my world narrowed with my vision. Nothing existed outside of that black box in his hand, nothing except him.
When he was standing right in front of me, he flipped it open.
A gasp escaped me, and my heart swelled so big I thought it might crack my chest wide open, escape and float up into outer space. I’d never seen a ring quite like it in my life. I wasn’t sure a more lovely, exquisite, perfect, ring existed. I could tell it was vintage, out of another era, and it was stunning, in such an understated way. My eyes quickly flashed to his. “It’s not, that’s not the ring that . . .”
Realizing what I was asking, he quickly said, “God, no. This isn’t the ring I gave Katya.” A relieved breath whooshed out of me. I’d never gotten a close look at the rock on her finger. “I bought this one long before I bought hers.”
My brow scrunched. “How long?” I asked curiously.
One side of his mouth quirked up. “A while.”
I pursed my lips, but then couldn’t help but look dreamily at the ring again. The room fell quiet as I stared at it and then slowly lifted my eyes again. “Well, don’t you have something to ask me?”
He chuckled faintly. “I guess I do, and I suppose I should do it right?” He quirked a brow at me and I steepled my hands in front of my mouth, nodding my head vigorously.
He slowly knelt to one knee in front of me. “Abbi,” he drew out. “Will you—”
“Yes,” I cried tearing my hands away from my mouth and shoving my left hand in his face.
A beautiful laugh rumbled from his chest. “You didn’t even let me finish.”
“I think I’ve been patient enough. Gimme the damn ring.”
He grinned. “Gladly,” and he plucked the ring from where it was nestled in the silk, and slid it slowly onto my finger.”
A perfect fit.
A single tear tracked down my cheek. Not letting go of the hand he just slid the ring onto, he stood and kissed away the tear on my cheek. “I’m never letting you go again.”
“You better not,” I said breathlessly, and then, tugging my hand free of his, snaked both of mine into his hair and dragged his lips to mine.”
I was going to kiss this man every day for the rest of my life.
Twenty-One
Abel
I wound my arms around her waist, pulling her impossibly closer, and deepened the kiss. She sighed against my lips and molded her body to mine. A thousand emotions erupted in my chest, but most of all was a sense of rightness.
Wholeness.
It was sweet agony.
Agony because of how long it’d taken us to get here. How many times we got it wrong before getting it right.
But it was also perfection.
The kiss suddenly became wetter than normal, and without breaking it, I blinked my eyes open to see the tears streaming down her cheeks. I buried my hands in her hair and cradled her head tighter to mine. Her fingers fisted in the collar of my shirt and her desperation bled into the kiss. I closed my eyes again, and I could feel all the cracks and broken pieces inside her.
I promised myself two things right then.
I was going to kiss this woman every day for the rest of my life and mend every single one of those broken pieces.
And I was going to buy a big house with lots of room and a big yard and I was going to paint the door red.
And fill her belly with little heathens with lopsided grins, and sassy little princesses with her eyes.
And teach them guitar and attend tea parties.
And it would be chaos, beautiful chaos.
And I would thank God every day for every second of it.
Okay, that was more than two things, but you get the picture.
It was going to be epic. Like a song.
Our song.
Abbi’s Song
The Same Mistake
“I hung your love in the sky
To light my way
I lost faith, I lost sight
And I lost my way
I said goodbye
And you slipped away
Had to make it on my own
Now I’m just trying to find my way back home
Why did I let go
I traded your love
And it feels so cold
Lost in all the noise
I still hear your voice
A whisper calling me home
One last chance before we break
Baby don’t make the same mistake
I thought there was more for me
But I was wrong you’re all I need
Why did I let go
I traded your love
And it feels so cold
Lost in all the noise
I still hear your voice
A whisper calling me home
One last chance before we break
Baby don’t make the same mistake
I set my sights on the stars
Cause I wanted it all
But baby I went too far
And it was such a long way to fall
My pride is my curse
Now I’m afraid it’s too late
And I don’t which is worse
To set you free or watch you make the same mistake
All this time spent chasing shadows
Looking for the light
But it all feels hollow
And nothing is right
It looks like glitter ‘til I close my eyes
I watch it fade away and I can see
The truth lost in the lies
It’s all nothing without you next to me
I was reckless
And now I’m breathless
My heart is breaking
As I’m watching you making
The same mistake
Why did I let go
I traded your love
And it feels so cold
Lost in all the noise
I still hear your voice
A whisper calling me home
One last chance before we break
Baby don’t make the same mistake
Acknowledgements
I don’t even know where to start. Five years ago I sat down to write Finding Ever After, my first novel, and from that very first story the world of Ever After was born. Jaxyn and the guys of Ashes and Embers came to life. They became family, characters that we all laughed and yelled and cried with, and then that family grew, and now here we are, and what an incredible journey it has been. Their babies grew up and are now getting their own stories. And it’s all because of you guys. My faithful readers and friends who believed in me, encouraged me, pushed me, demanded more from me. This story was for you guys. Thank you for being patient enough to wait for it.
Thank you to my big God who placed a tiny dream in a little girl’s heart and cultivated it and grew it. And grew me along this journey. I never want to stop growing.
Thank you to my family for supporting me and putting up with me even when I’m tuned out and stressed out, lost in the words on my screen, working hard and pouring myself into the story, sometimes so much that I don’t have a lot left over for them.
Thank you to my community of fellow authors, always ready to lift me up, offer advice and encouragement, share frustrations, and just do this crazy thing together.
Thank you to Chris and Ali for lending your help and skills in refining my words and shaping the story into a better piece of work. Chris, I value your opinions and insight so much. You truly push me to see other perspectives and dig deeper with my characters.
It’s been a wild ride guys, and I hope you’ll stick with me, because it ain’t over yet.