I enter his house, and the dogs race around, looking for Christian. A mirror by the front door makes me notice my puffy eyes and haggard look. The stress of working alone is getting to me. “Sorry, guys, he’s not here.” I sigh. “I miss him too.”
My boots click on the tile in the kitchen as I approach the refrigerator. I’m here to clean out spoiled food. I should have done it sooner, but I avoided this task, refusing to believe he’s been gone this long.
The odor of sour milk wafts up, making me crinkle my nose as I watch white liquid pour down the drain. When I reach in the vegetable bin I find runny tomatoes. Gross. I pull out the whole drawer and just dump the contents in the garbage. I don’t want to have to do this more than once.
I look out the window over the sink at the woods that are behind both of our houses. The trail through the snow created by the dogs is completely covered, as if they were never here. Damn it, Christian, you can’t just ditch your life with me this easily.
I need to talk to Gretchen. I pace the hall, and my footsteps echo as I wait for her to pick up.
“Nika, hang on.” I assume it’s windy when I hear the blasts come through the phone. It stops suddenly. “I had to step inside a building so the storm doesn’t make it hard to hear me. How are you?”
“I’m fine, but I need to know what’s going on with Christian.” I know I’m being abrupt by not making any small talk, but I’m sure Gretchen understands.
She sighs. “I’m not sure. I can’t believe he’s still here, and he won’t talk to me when I ask why.”
My lower lips starts to tremble, but I swallow down my urge to cry. “He won’t talk to me either. He’s all business, and he’s even stopped telling me he loves me.” A lump is in my throat, and I know I can’t hold back the tears.
“Oh, Nika. I’m sure he hasn’t stopped loving you.”
I sniff, and my sweater is rough against my cheeks when I swipe away the tears. “I’m not. God, I miss him.”
“I’m sorry he’s being such a shit. Let me see what I can do. I’m going to go home this weekend and make him talk to me. Okay?”
“Okay. I hate to push, but I just don’t know what to do, you know?” Cleo has come to follow me as I pace, and I stop to squat down and stoke her soft hair.
“I do. He’s making you to run the business all alone and not communicating. You don’t deserve that.”
“I don’t mind the business part as much as I mind him pulling away from me without telling me what’s going on.” Tears spill out again. “If he wants to break up with me, then he just needs to say it because I can’t do this.”
“I’m sorry, Nika. He’s being an asshat. I’ll slap some sense into him for you. I promise.”
Her words make me smile. “Thank you.”
“I’m late for class, but I’ll call as soon as I know anything. We’ll talk soon. Bye.”
“Bye.”
A sudden thought makes my blood run cold. What if he’s reliving his heartache with Taylor and is protecting himself, afraid I’m going to do the same thing she did?
I shake my head at the paranoia speaking. God, I feel like a whiny girl. I walk over and remove the garbage bag from the can. But until I know what’s going on, I don’t want to make any demands. The cabinet slams shut, and I call the dogs to leave.
The walk back to my house is quick, and I don’t bother to put on gloves, which makes my hands cold as I switch the trash back and forth. It’s my first day off in a month, and I’m going to take myself out to dinner. I can’t keep waiting for Christian, and it’s time to chat with Neal about his Vail and Aspen locations. It’s been months since I ate at Stone Soup, and my ego could use some of his flirting.
The lid of my curbside garbage container thuds shut, and I take the dogs inside. Warm water stings on my cold skin as I wash my hands. I look around my house and realize it’s been a long time since I had time to do anything fun for myself. I still have a few Christmas decorations up and am just now noticing.
Now that Ruby has become my full-time manager, I can finally get a much-needed break. I’m sure my dogs will be happy too. I haven’t neglected their need for exercise, but only a few hours of cuddle time each night isn’t enough for any of us. I lie down on the floor and let them crawl on me as I rub bellies.
I pull my phone out of my back pocket and call Stone Soup to make a reservation for one. With two hours until dinner, I decide to pamper myself with a long bath. I say to the dogs. “C’mon, guys. Let’s go get pretty.”
I take extra time to get my hair and makeup right. I’m not above using my feminine charms to get on Neal’s good side and score a good retail location. Wearing a long, snug dress and cowboy boots, I know I look good.
I recall how I used to put on a persona to get through tough modeling assignments. I called it being fierce. I think that’s what I need to do to get past my ache for Christian because I can’t make him do what I want. It would be so easy to curl up in a ball and let my heart break, but I won’t let my hard work making Rhinestone Cowgirl a success have a chance to flounder.
I put on a set of bangle bracelets and large earrings that make a statement. With a swipe of dark lipstick, I’m ready. No, I’m more than ready, I’m fierce.
Chapter 48
The familiar smells of onion, garlic, and spices wraps around me along with warmth when I enter Stone Soup. Dimly lit, with a fire crackling, it’s as if I’m visiting an old friend. Neal’s face lights up when he sees me. “Dannika, it’s been forever. Come, I have a wine ready for you to taste. I plan to woo you so you’ll come back more often.”
I grin and kiss his cheek. “You’re so good for my ego, Neal.” I take the arm he offers and notice his strong presence. I’ve missed a man in my life.
He leads me to a table that is tucked away by a small fireplace. While still in the main room, it’s hidden by a half wall topped with large plants. I imagine it’s the cozy table for lovers or where Neal can hide out when not attending to host duties.
A decanter is filled with deep red liquid, and the empty bottle is next to it as well as two wineglasses. Neal tucks me in. “Before you look at the bottle, I want you to taste this and tell me what you think.”
A small amount of wine trickles into a glass, and he hands it to me. When I swirl it, the scent of sage and something else is released. I sip and let the liquid stay on my tongue as I dissect the flavor. “Deep berry flavor with sage, and is that anise?” I take another mouthful. “This is quite nice.” I pick up the bottle and study the label. “Surprisingly light for a Zinfandel, I like it.”
Neal sets his hands on the table and leans in toward me. “The most surprising part is the price. It’s under thirty dollars a bottle.”
“Impressive. I’ll bet owning a wine shop is fun.”
“It is, especially since I only do the things I like. As long as I get good people to run things, my life is pretty great.” Wine splashes into two glasses as he fills them. “Which reminds me, where’s your boyfriend? Shouldn’t he be here to protect you from me?”
I chuckle. “Christian doesn’t feel the need to protect me from you.” He’s too busy avoiding me. I tap the bottom of the second wineglass. “Does this mean you’ll be joining me?”
He sends me a sly smile. “If you don’t mind, I would like to sit and talk. I have a feeling you’re up to something. I heard you hired a manager.”
“You mean you don’t think I came here to enjoy a lovely dinner?”
“Oh, I’m sure you did. But I think you came to see me too.” Shit. Does he know Christian is missing in action?
I shrug. “You got me. I do want to talk to you. I’m thinking about expanding in Vail and Aspen and would like to take you up on your offer to consider your commercial spaces.”
Neal smiles. “Hold that thought. I’ll be right back.”
Silverware clinks softly amongst the light buzz of conversation, and a waiter comes over with a menu for me and tells me about the specials. Not that I need to hea
r them. I’ll be having the elk like almost every other time I come here.
A few minutes later, Neal returns and makes himself comfortable as he sits across from me. “I’m all yours.” He raises his eyebrows and continues, “For the entire evening.”
I chuckle. “You’re too much.” But I play along and add, “I won’t be needing you for quite that long.”
He lifts his glass to me and takes a sip. “Tell me your plans.”
I go into detail about my ideas for the two new shops and voice my concerns about hiring the right people to run them. When it’s time to order dinner, he asks for elk too.
We continue to discuss business, and he shares stories of his own. I learn that he’s a self-made man and marvel at how much he’s accomplished in his thirty-plus years. It explains his direct ways, and again I imagine he’ll be a great catch for the right girl.
Metal scrapes against the tablecloth as a waiter clears the crumbs off our table. He presents us with the dessert menu. I’m not quite full, so we order coffee and a chocolate soufflé to share.
Neal says, “I think your plans are rock solid. I’ve become more discriminating in who I’ll let lease from me these days. Especially in towns where I don’t live. Too many tenants have closed shop and disappeared overnight, leaving me with an open space in the middle of a season. If you can find something that suits you, it’s yours.”
Our coffee arrives, and steam rises from the cups. I smile because Neal knows how hot I like it, and the liquid appears to be practically boiling. I’m not sure how the waiter knew, but I’m grateful. “Thanks, Neal. I’m glad I came tonight. I’ve enjoyed hearing about your career. It’s impressive.”
His voice is sincere when he says, “So are you. You’re well on the way to putting me to shame. We would make a great team.” He reaches over and takes my hand. His fingers are strong and warm against mine. “If you and Christian don’t work out, I want to be next on your list.”
He’s no longer flirting, and discomfort makes me pull my hand away. “That’s sweet, but you’re too much of a player for me. I don’t share well.” I smile to lighten the mood. “Besides, too many hearts would be broken if you ever settled down.”
He leans back and stares at me for a moment. “Did it ever occur to you players only play because they haven’t found the right one? I think you’re it for me, and when you’re ready, I’ll be waiting.”
Damn it. He must know Christian’s been gone this whole time. I can’t fault him though; this is the kind of mind that swoops in for great business deals. It makes sense he would do the same for the woman he wants. This is a side of Neal I could be attracted to.
I don’t respond and lift my wineglass to swallow down the last bit instead. I’m intensely aware of the alcohol burning its way down my throat. Dessert arrives before I have to figure out what to say, and I dig in. The light texture floats on my tongue as the chocolate makes me want to groan in appreciation. I control it though, no need to infuse our conversations with sexual suggestions.
Neal doesn’t share the same restraint. He lets out a guttural noise I imagine races right to the core of his conquests. Licking the spoon slowly, he lowers his eyelids, and damn it, his green eyes give me a small tingle. I take a sip of scalding coffee and swallow it quickly to squelch any hint of desire.
He’s good, and I’m just vulnerable enough that I’m letting him affect me. I’m tempted to pull out my phone and send Christian a text, but that thought makes me sad, knowing he won’t reply. Yeah, I think it’s time to get home before I let my bruised ego go a little too far with flirting. Playing that game with Christian taught me how that can go.
I take one more bite of dessert and sigh. “Dinner tonight was truly wonderful. It’s been too long. I really have to come here more often.”
Neal doesn’t touch me, and I think he’s sensed my mood. “Yes, you really should. Now, let’s look at dates for a trip to Aspen and Vail.”
His schedule is tight, but we find a date at the end of February. As he holds my coat for me, he says, “Please don’t make me wait until our trip to see you again. Come back for dinner soon.”
“Don’t worry, I will. The elk and soufflé were too good to forget. Now that I’ve had them again, I won’t be able to resist for long.”
Neal leans in and kisses my cheek. He doesn’t pull away until he whispers. “Someday I hope I’m what you can’t resist.”
Ignoring the way his breath on my skin makes me want to be touched, I squint my eyes at him and smile. “You’re a wicked man.”
He holds out his palms and grins. “It’s all part of the charm.”
You got that right. I leave wishing phone sex with Christian actually was an option.
Chapter 49
Even though I know it’s the weekend, and Gretchen’s probably working Christian over for his recent behavior, I give in to the urge to text him. I tap out, “Miss you. Call me?”
I almost faint when he replies instantly. “We do need to talk. I’ll call later.”
My stomach sinks because I don’t think our talk is going to be a good one. I slip my phone in my back pocket. A shipment of cowboy boots came in yesterday, and I focus on getting the new styles on the floor and organizing the boot storage section. It’s busy work, but will keep my mind occupied so I don’t obsess about Christian.
The scent of leather is strong with all the new boots I’ve set on the floor. I’ve taken them all down to rearrange the shelves so I can highlight the most expensive ones. Of course Christian calls, and I hate that I’m about to walk away and leave a mess. But I don’t dare put him off.
I give Tasha an apologetic smile as I walk back toward the office and answer the phone. “Hi.”
“Hi. First off, I want to apologize for leaving you to fend for yourself with Rhinestone Cowgirl. I know I dropped the ball.”
The door clicks softly behind me when I close it. “Christian, your father died, and I’ve been fine dealing with everything for you. No apologies necessary.”
“Thank you.” He sighs and my stomach clenches as I wait for the blow. “It’s time to hire a bookkeeper. I’m not coming back to Colorado.”
I sink into the chair and brace my forehead with my fingers as I lean on the desk. Faint indents of words from someone’s homework glare in the light. The news would be a slap in the face if I hadn’t suspected something like this was coming. “I see. I’ll get on that.”
I wait for what he has to say about us because my pride won’t let me be the first to bring it up. He says softly, “Princess.”
I want to yell at him to not call me that as he breaks my heart. Instead, I wait for the rest.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have even moved to Colorado in the first place. I made a mistake leaving New York, and need to get back to that life.”
Fuck you, Christian. I get up to pace. He might as well just say I’m the mistake. “Got it. Do you want me to buy you out of Rhinestone Cowgirl?”
A tag is on the floor, and I bend down to pick it up as he says, “No. I want to still be part of your life if we can make it work. Maybe—Maybe we can sell it.”
What the hell? “I don’t understand. Are you asking me to move to New York City?” I throw the tag away and step on the garbage to pack it down, making more room.
“Would you?”
But his tone isn’t a question. It’s almost an accusation that he knows I wouldn’t. Is he trying to make me break up with him so I’m the bad guy?
“I don’t know.” My initial thought is no way. I can’t imagine life in the city with three busy dogs, never mind selling off the shop I’ve worked so hard to create for a guy that’s moving without asking me first. “I’ll have to think about it.”
I yank out my ponytail and rake my hand through my hair. Everything about this feels wrong. This isn’t the sort of thing you just suggest over the phone. My eyes burn with tears. “Would I move in with you?”
“Yeah, I have a great apartment.” His voice should be exci
ted, but instead it sounds strained.
“Look, it’s hard to talk to you on the phone when I can’t see your face, because you don’t sound excited about this. Asking me to move across the country to be with you should be something that feels wonderful. Right now it doesn’t.”
“You’re right. I’m not sure what I want, and it’s not fair to ask you to give up everything, I’m sorry.”
I kick an empty cardboard box, and it flies across the room. “Damn it, Christian. What the hell is going on? You don’t really want me to move for you, so why suggest it?”
Anger comes through the phone at me. “Because I’m being a coward. Because I wanted you to be the one to decide we’re over.”
My teeth are clenched, and I wish I were somewhere I could slam something without causing a scene. The contents of my stomach burn like acid. “Fine, I’ll do it. We’re done. No, I won’t give up my life here to be trapped in the city with active dogs, no job, and a boyfriend that doesn’t love me anymore. Happy?”
“That’s not true. I haven’t stopped loving you. Fuck. This isn’t how I wanted to do this.”
“Yeah? What the hell, Christian? Did you think I’m like Taylor and I would just dump you for no good reason? I would never hurt you like that. I don’t know what your problem is, but you better figure it out.” I end the call, but it’s not satisfying to only push a touch screen so I throw my phone against the wall. The crack tells me I probably broke it, but I stomp on it to make sure as hot tears roll down my cheek.
It pisses me off that I cry when I’m mad, and the hanger flips up and smacks the wall when I grab my coat from the rolling rack. I force myself to leave the shop without stomping, but once I’m outside, all bets are off and I pound down the brick alley to the parking lot.
With my head down I continue to stomp through the snow-covered cars, and kick a tire or two on my way. Pain throbs through my foot when I get to my car, but I’ve calmed down enough that I want to curl up in a ball and sob. Instead I get inside and search for napkins in my center console.
Fierce: New Adult Sport Romance (The Boys of Winter Book 4) Page 21