Cursive

by Phoebe Lane

  "Okay," Aislynn said and followed him into the house.

  He asked her to wait for him while he went into the bedroom to get her present. When he returned, he found her sitting on top of the dining room table—shoes off, dress still on, innocent smile playing on her face.

  "It took you a while. I got curious. I could spy on you better from here," she explained.

  "Table it is, then," he said with a laugh and took out something from the refrigerator. "We didn't get to have dessert at the restaurant, and I haven't had a chance to sing you happy birthday yet, so here we go."

  He placed a big, wrapped box on one of the dining room chairs, and a small cake with a single candle on the table right in front of her.

  "It's dark chocolate and espresso ganache," he said, sitting up on top of the table with her. "Happy birthday, babydoc."

  "You're amazing. Thank you," she said and kissed him. "I love you," she whispered with her eyes still closed.

  "I love you, too. Now, make a wish," he said, but Aislynn stopped him as he reached to light the candle.

  "Can I open my present first?" she asked.

  "Why?"

  "What if the thing I wish for is something you already got me as a present? Then it's a waste of a perfectly good wish," she said with a girlish smile.

  "I'm deeply concerned that your explanation makes perfect sense in my head. I think the madness is contagious. Okay, present first."

  Jace gave her the box and sat back to enjoy the fact that he had managed to make her look this happy on a night that had been so distressing. He watched her peel off the wrapping paper like a little kid at Christmas and stare at the box for a few moments. Her eyes kept moving between the box and his face, her tears becoming more noticeable as the seconds passed.

  "You got me an Easy Bake Oven?" she asked, her voice shaky.

  "I promise it's new, but the box looks dated because it's an original. It’s the version of the oven that came out the year you turned—"

  "Ten," they said at the same time.

  "You remembered?" she asked, her hand now covering her mouth.

  "You said Pam didn't want to get you one of these back then, so I wanted to make it happen, even if it's at twenty-nine plus one."

  Aislynn was silent for a few seconds, her eyes focused on the box. "I don't know what to say. This is…" She trailed off, wiping a few tears that had escaped her eyes. "I'm so sick of crying, but I promise you these are tears of happiness. Thank you, Jace. You have no idea how much this means to me," she said, reaching out to hug and kiss him.

  "I'm glad you like it, babydoc. Now, time for your wish?"

  "Okay," she said as he lit the candle and hummed the birthday song. "You know, this is all very Jake Ryan of you."

  "Who's Jake Ryan?"

  "The hottie from Sixteen Candles—the best teenage movie ever made. The last scene looks just like this," she said, looking around the room.

  "All right, well, don't you go wishing for him when you blow out the candle."

  "I love you, Jace. You're the only thing I want."

  Jace woke up to find an empty bed. The clock read three thirty in the morning and the room was pitch-black. The only noise he registered was the sound of his sheets falling to the floor as he got up to search for Aislynn.

  He found her pacing outside on the deck, a scowl on her face, her hair messy and braided to one side. She was wearing the shirt he had worn to dinner that night and the buttons were visibly mismatched. On the living room table, he found the play oven he had gifted her and trays full of recently-baked miniature cupcakes and cookies.

  She startled when he opened the glass door and unsuccessfully tried to change the expression of worry on her face.

  "Hey, what's wrong?" he asked.

  "Nothing," she said, eyes turning down. Jace put his hands around her waist and pulled her to him. She was tense, her skin was cold, and her eyes were sad and troubled.

  I wonder what she's worried about—is it what happened with her mom…is it Christopher?

  The thought had been bothering him since Pam had tried to bring Christopher up at dinner. It hadn't escaped Jace's attention how strongly Aislynn had reacted to the mention of his name and the urgency with which she changed the subject. Aislynn had said she didn't know the exact reason why her ex-fiancé had broken up with her, but Jace suspected otherwise, and it had been weighing on his mind for a while now.

  There's always a reason. She must know.

  "I just couldn't sleep, and I didn't want to wake you with all my tossing and turning."

  "So you decided to turn my dining room into a bakery in the middle of the night?" he asked playfully.

  "Oh, yeah, that," she said with a sad smile, and looked into the house. "I've now discovered baking calms me down. But then I noticed those cookies are two decades past their expiration date, so I wouldn't eat them if I were you."

  "Good call," he said with a chuckle. "Why are you upset? Is it your mom?"

  "Yeah, I guess. I have to take her to the airport tomorrow morning, and I'm not sure how that's gonna go."

  "You don't really have to. We can arrange some transportation for her if you want—" He stopped as he watched Aislynn shake her head vigorously.

  "I can't…I won't run from this anymore. I have to confront her once and for all. I left that restaurant without getting an answer back. I need to see this through."

  My brave girl.

  "Okay," he answered, and hugged her.

  "Oh, and your cell phone was ringing earlier. I was afraid it was an emergency with your family or something, so I peeked. It was a blocked number."

  Damn it.

  He didn't want to lie or worry her even more, so he didn't try to explain. He dragged her to one of the loungers instead and lay down next to her, the sound of their breaths and the waves helping clear his mind.

  Aislynn's hands softly roamed over his naked chest, and he felt his breath immediately quicken. He wasn't sure if this was the right time to be feeling this way, but it was impossible to control his body's instinctual reaction to her soft hands on him.

  He closed his eyes and tried to distract his mind with something else, but it was an exercise in futility. He was hard within seconds, and the thin fabric of his cotton pajama bottoms did nothing to hide it. He decided to risk a look and watched her hand move down his torso, her eyes open and directly focused on the path that lay before her. Her skin had turned an enticing shade of pink, and her nipples were hard and clearly visible through her shirt.

  "I'm sorry. We really don't have to—" he said, but Aislynn straddled him before he was able to finish the sentence. Her lips were immediately on him, her hands tugging at his hair roughly. Her tongue was inside him within seconds, insistent on tasting him.

  It all felt very different than any of the other times they had been together. He could feel the frustration, anxiety, and maybe even anger coming out of her. She sucked his bottom lip into her mouth and then gently bit it, making him twitch involuntarily, the restriction of his pants becoming unbearable. As if she could read his mind, Aislynn reached down to stroke him a few times over the fabric, and then pushed the front of his pants down.

  "Aislynn, we're outside. Anyone can see," Jace forced out as he held her wrist, not really wanting her to stop, but trying to be sensible about it.

  "I don't fucking care. The only fucking I care about is the one I need you to give me right now," she whispered, the softness in her voice a strong contrast to the content of her words.

  Well, damn.

  He let go of her hand and helped her lower his pants down, just enough to get free. He unconsciously pumped himself a few times to help relieve some of the pressure, and watched as a mesmerized Aislynn followed the motions of his hand moving up and down his shaft. Her mouth was slightly open, her lips swollen and glistening, the anticipation written all over her face.

  "Don't stop," she commanded.

  He probably should've kept his eyes open for nosy neighbors
or wandering nighttime beachgoers, but he couldn't take his eyes off her face. She kept rewetting her lips, and all he could think about was having her tongue on him.

  "If we weren't out here, you would be in my mouth right now," she said, putting her hand over his and pumping along with him.

  "Oh, fuck," he said, and slammed his head back into the chair.

  She stood up right beside him and slowly took off her lace panties. She then crawled back over him and sat down right below his hips. She reached for his tip and wet her middle finger with the moisture that had already accumulated there, then brought it down and rubbed it directly on herself.

  It’s official. This woman is trying to kill me.

  She threw her head back, closed her eyes, and gave herself to the feeling. Jace didn't care anymore that they were outside; he didn't care that someone could walk in on them or see them from a nearby house. All he wanted was to be inside her. Immediately.

  He sat up, forcefully gripped her hips, and pushed her down onto him in one quick motion. She let out a loud moan that bordered on a scream. He grabbed her by the ass and moved her up and down, setting the pace to an incredible rhythm. He eventually was able to let go as he felt her take over on her own, her speed desperate, and her movements hard.

  "If you want me to keep doing this to you here, like this, you need to be quiet, babydoc," he whispered in her ear.

  She nodded her head and dug her nails into his back, but the moans escaped her lips again within the minute. She covered her mouth on his shoulder to try and silence herself but ended up biting him instead. It only served to drive Jace crazier with need. He got up, somehow able to hold her in place, and walked her into the house. He laid her down on the table and continued his movements.

  "Now you can scream all you want. Let me hear you," he said and felt the vibration of her moans on her chest as he massaged her breasts.

  She tried to move her hand in between them, and he knew she was now desperate to get off. "Jace, please," she said as she pushed her hips up into him hard.

  "What is it?" he teased.

  "Please, just…" she said and put her hand on his, trying to show him how she wanted him to touch her.

  "Tell me," he demanded.

  "I want to come. Make me come," she begged.

  Outstandingly beautiful.

  He rubbed her center in a circle—once, twice, then up and down. He repeated the patterned motion over and over, and suddenly felt himself sliding in and out of her with more ease, her arousal now coating him completely. It felt amazing, and he knew he wouldn't be able to last much longer.

  "You keep doing this the same way I'm doing it now, and hang on," he said, guiding her fingers to where his were, and holding on to her hips. His fingers dug into her skin as he pushed himself into her over and over, harder than he had ever done before. The words coming out of her mouth only urged him to move faster and harder. He could feel her fingers rubbing circles and occasionally running up and down his shaft as he moved in and out of her.

  Yup, killing me.

  She started pulsing around him and he felt himself go, his knees threatening to buckle. He collapsed on top of her until she stopped contracting around him and his own orgasm subsided. He then carried a spent Aislynn to his bed and fell asleep next to her, consciously ignoring ringing phones and incoming anonymous text messages.

  On her way to the hotel the following morning, Aislynn tried to visualize all the possible outcomes of her upcoming visit with Pam. She honestly had very little hope that any of them would have a happy ending. She knew better than to expect anything different after spending over twenty years getting burned and disappointed by Pam time and time again. The only glimmer of hope she still held on to was that her outburst at dinner had been the first time she had confronted her mom about their relationship in any sort of concrete way, and she wondered if it had made an impact.

  Maybe it has opened her eyes?

  Aislynn stood outside her room for a minute too long before finally finding the strength to knock on the door. Pam opened it, phone at her ear, and casually waved her in. She was dressed, her bags were packed, and there were empty room service plates on her desk.

  "My flight leaves in a few hours. How about I call you when I get into town and we'll make plans?" she said on the phone. "Okay, talk to you then. Bye." She turned to Aislynn, a neutral expression on her face.

  "Hi, Mom," Aislynn said reluctantly, not knowing what to expect.

  "Hi, sweetheart. I wasn't sure if you were coming, but I went ahead and packed my things. I should be ready to go in a few minutes," she said politely, no inkling that anything was wrong.

  No acknowledgement of what had happened at dinner.

  No anger, no frustration, no sadness, no happiness, no trepidation.

  No confrontation. No questions. No demands for apologies.

  No emotion at all.

  Pam made an attempt to walk away from her, but Aislynn stopped her. "Mom! We need to talk about last night."

  "What about it?" she said, sneakily moving around her and directing her attention to her carry-on bag instead.

  "We said a lot of things—"

  "No, you said a lot of things," Pam snapped, looking up at her with a spark in her eyes that Aislynn couldn't believe was there.

  Is that anger? Is she actually going to be capable of letting her guard down to have this conversation with me?

  "There's nothing else to say, Aislynn. You said what you needed to say," she added, her tone of voice back to being cool and controlled. The emotion in her eyes was now gone, and she went back to rearranging things inside her bag. "You got it out of your system and pulled off your little tantrum in front of your boyfriend so you could impress him. It was nothing, so now let's move on like we always do," she said and waved her hand up in the air like she was talking about the weather.

  This is unbelievable.

  Aislynn had to admit that this wasn't exactly one of the scenarios she had run through in her head. She had thought that Pam would've either confronted her about everything she had said the previous night, or she would've pretended nothing had happened. But doing both at the same time while implying that Aislynn only said those things to get some attention from Jace was way beyond anything she could've ever imagined.

  She suddenly felt an overwhelming feeling of sadness, hopelessness and relief embrace her. She felt sad for Pam—there she stood, an adult woman about to turn fifty, who still functioned at the emotional level of a five year old. Pam was incapable of understanding her own feelings, much less the feelings of others. She was not psychologically minded enough to have a healthy and meaningful relationship with anyone.

  The anger Aislynn had felt toward her mother for all these years was suddenly replaced by hopelessness and grief, as she accepted the reality that she would never have a mother who could give her the love and support she needed and deserved. She felt an immense sense of loss for someone who, ironically, she never even had to begin with, and it weighed heavily on her heart.

  Another loss.

  The sense of relief came from the realization that it was the right time for Aislynn to walk away and be done with their relationship. She was ready to sever ties with the one person who still connected her in some way to Texas and to her old life.

  It's time for me to let her go, once and for all. I'm done.

  Very slowly, Aislynn walked over to where Pam stood and waited. She looked down at her mom's hands, skin darkened and wrinkled, up to her eyes, which looked tired and cold, then over to her hair, beautifully pulled behind her ears with hints of gray showing on her temples. Finally, Aislynn glanced back down to her mother’s chest, where a small white gold pendant she had given her for her birthday a few years ago still hung around her neck.

  "Aislynn?" Pam said with hesitation, finally looking up at her, the eerie silence in the room becoming heavy and deafening.

  "I love you, Mom," Aislynn whispered, put her hands on her face, and placed a gentl
e kiss on top of her head. In an ironic case of role reversals, she felt like an adult comforting a vulnerable child. "Goodbye."

  Aislynn walked away slowly toward the door and heard her mom call her name over and over, the pitch of her voice rising with each repetition. Pam was reacting in a way she had never done before, and Aislynn realized this time was different.

  She finally gets it. She understands now.

  Goodbye, Mom.

  Aislynn walked into the apartment with a sour mood, hoping, for the first time in months, that the apartment was empty. Instead, she found Ellie pacing anxiously in the living room.

  "What's wrong, Ellie?"

  "Oh, nothing. I'm just—holy shit! What happened?" Ellie asked when she saw Aislynn's face, her eyes swollen from crying.

  "Umm…I don't want to talk about it," Aislynn said, dropping her things on the living room table.

  "Yeah, okay. Let me rephrase that question into a statement, then. Tell me what happened," Ellie said sternly.

  "Ugh. I hate all this drama. I'm not made for drama. Why does it have to chase me around?" Aislynn said, throwing herself on the sofa, hands hiding her face.

  "Is it Jace?" Ellie asked, sitting next to her.

  "No. It's Pam. Or, it was Pam. I stood up to her last night at dinner and basically told her off."

  Aislynn filled Ellie in on every detail of what had happened in the past eighteen hours, and even spoke about the guilt she felt for how things had ended between them. From the outside looking in, it probably looked like Pam got what she had coming to her, but she was still Aislynn's mother. It hurt her deeply having to make the decision to walk away from her mother forever.

  "I can understand that, I guess," Ellie said. "I'm so proud of you, though. This needed to be done."

  "I know, but I really feel horrible," Aislynn whined, and laid her head down on Ellie's lap.

  "I know something that could help make you feel better, but it's still too early for rum," Ellie joked, effectively lightening the mood.

  "Oh, come on. Your boyfriend owns a bar. I'm sure you could make it happen if you really wanted to," Aislynn said.