Mr. Bow Tie

by Alice Patron

  Adam and I have been going on lots of dates, and he held my hand last weekend. A couple days ago he kissed me, so I guess that means we are dating! Er, I think. That's how it works, right? I'm not going to admit to him that he is the first person I've dated. I don't want him to know I'm a loser.

  We went to a basketball game last night, just the two of us without Jemma. I guess I'll have to get used to that. It was Utes versus Trojans. It would have been fun, except the Utes won. I don't care who wins or anything, I'm just there for the fun of it. But Adam was yelling some pretty obnoxious things to the small group of opposing fans two rows ahead of us, so the atmosphere wasn't that much fun for me because of the dirty looks we were getting. I kind of wanted our team to lose just because of Adam. Why are boys so competitive and fierce about their sports teams? You aren't like that, are you, Grandfather? No, you are much sweeter, aren't you?

  Will is in town and stopped by earlier today. He helped me with my statistics homework and we talked about Lakelyn. I have been noticing a lot more about her, and I've been trying to help her. I'm not just doing it for Will now. Lakelyn is, admittedly, a bit of a snob. Jemma and I usually get a five dollar pizza on Friday (unless we have dates), but Lakelyn will only eat expensive pizza from The Pie. We don't dare ask her opinion of our clothes - we dress way below her standards. There are so many little ways that Lakelyn and I don't get each other. That being said, she spends a lot of time in her room. Will said she failed two classes last semester, and now that I've been paying attention, I think she'll go days without even leaving the house. I never see her in the mornings. When I see her in the afternoon, she is generally just getting a bowl of cereal and taking it to her room to eat.

  I was able to reassure Will a little by telling him what I've been doing. Lakelyn and I have similar tastes in movies, so I've gotten her to come out and watch Dan in Real Life, Pride and Prejudice, and While You Were Sleeping. I even ordered pizza from The Pie once to share with her. I talked to Will about the chance of her seeing a counselor. He's brought it up with her, but she just tells him she's fine and doesn't need one. I'd already come up with a plan for getting her professional help, and he liked it. Next time I see her, I'm going to talk to her about it. I'll let you know if it works out.

  Did I ever mention that I saw a school counselor for several months in high school? She talked me through a tough time in my life, and I wouldn't be in college if it weren't for her help.

  I'd better go now. Lakelyn just came out of her room and I'm going to go hang out with her.

  P.s. Will got my phone number. It's ironic that it's happened now, because I've finally come to terms with the fact that he only wants to be my friend.

  To: sfc.scholarship@sa.utah.edu

  From: jessie.whiting@utah.edu

  Subject: Lakelyn

  Date: Feb 28, 2017

  Adam and I are hanging out a lot. Jemma is usually with us still, so it feels just like normal, except Adam kisses me here and there. I'm just so happy there is someone out there that likes me enough to date me.

  Will is in California, but he has started texting me. Of course, it isn't anything that could possibly be construed as romantic, but it is nice to have a friend that really gets me, even if he is so far away most of the time. He checks up on me, on my skiing, on my family, and of course he asks me how Lakelyn is doing. Yesterday he texted to tell me he was in the middle of a boring meeting, so of course I told him to stop texting and pay attention. He said he would start paying attention if I could give him something to smile about the rest of his meeting. I told him I'd ski with him if he came to visit. He replied that he would smile at that, except it will be a whole week before he can escape to Utah. I tried some other things, but the thing that finally worked was this poem I made up for him:

  I saw an old lady crossing the road

  I let my mac and cheese dinner grow cold

  All the boys came calling, but I declined

  I parked too long in the “A” lot and got fined

  I neglected homework assignments, not a few

  All so I could write a silly poem for you

  I hope you're happy, I hope this made you smile

  Now let me go live my life for a while

  Don't you think I ought to be a poet instead of a social worker?

  After the meeting, he called to thank me (in a very sarcastic tone) for making him snort while some boring old guy was giving a marketing presentation. I kinda just want to make him smile all the time. Or snort. Either one will do. But a smile on his face is the way he should always look. It’s just sort of enchanting and takes you into his world for a minute - a wonderful, happy world where people are kind to each other and everything is interesting and worth smiling about. I’ve seen him serious, of course, but he doesn’t stay serious for long. I wish I could be more like that.

  Remember how we came up with a plan for Lakelyn? It worked! I told her that as part of my social work research grade, I had to get three people, whether they felt they needed it or not, to see a counselor on a regular basis for the rest of the semester. I had to fib, dear Grandfather, but Will approved. I had Jemma there, too, to play along. Lakelyn seemed skeptical, but Jemma agreed to do it, so then Lakelyn did too! I had the contact info for one of the best school counselors (I asked a couple of professors), then I called and got her signed up. She has only been to three appointments so far, but I can see that she is trying. It hasn't been magic or anything - I know it takes time. I hope she'll keep seeing a counselor, at least until she can feel better on her own.

  Since she hasn't been spending so long in her room, I've had the chance to talk a lot more with her and really get to know her. Guess what we talked about for over an hour yesterday: her family tree. She told me about her grandfather's business and how rich he is, then told me about how her 52nd great grandfather (or something like that) was king of England. I thought we came to America to get away from kings and queens. At one point I told her I knew the names of two of my grandparents. She didn't seem impressed. Don't worry, Grandfather, I was nice to her. I told Will I would be, and I don't break promises. But maybe I showed too much interest in what she was saying. I hope she won't give me a pop quiz about her ancestry, because I zoned out pretty early on in the family tree conversation.

  I’ll be doing more service every semester now. I signed up as a volunteer at the local refugee center. It isn’t for a grade; I just genuinely feel like making a difference in the world, and I really am trying. I hope I’m living up to your expectations for me, dear Grandfather Bow Tie.

  Sincerely,

  Jessie

  To: sfc.scholarship@sa.utah.edu

  From: jessie.whiting@utah.edu

  Subject: Groceries

  Date: March 19, 2017

  I was planning to work at Aspen Grove again this summer, but Jemma said her dad is looking to hire more help at the grocery store. I haven't decided for sure, but wouldn't it be fun to work with Jemma all summer? She was telling me the funniest stories! When one of the McBride kids turns fourteen, they receive a blue, collared shirt with their name embroidered on it. Their dad takes them into the store and shows them around, introducing them to everyone and talking to them about how the store is run. All of the kids have been easily convinced to work for their dad… until now. Mr. McBride has found his match in his son Kenny. Jemma was crying with laughter as she told me about her little brother. Kenny has known since he was six that he would grow up to be a brain surgeon. Why that is a six-year-old's dream in life, I couldn't tell you, but he is still, at fourteen, set and determined. So his dad took him to the store and started showing him around, and the whole time Kenny is being a “turd” (sorry, Grandfather, that's Jemma's language, not mine). He kept telling his dad he would never work for so little money, and that he didn't want to chance hurting his hands doing manual labor when he is destined to become a brain surgeon. Mr. McBride wrapped up the tour pretty quickly, to sniggers and funny looks from his employees because of Kenny's c
omments. Ever since Kenny’s tour of the store last week, Mr. McBride has been calling him Soft-hands Kenny to bug him, but Kenny is acting like it's a compliment.

  For the other kids in the family, working at the store is like a rite of passage. Jemma and Adam have both worked there every summer since they turned fourteen. All his kids, except Kenny, of course, could manage a grocery store by the time they reach eighteen. I wonder which kid will take over the family business. Adam just graduated with a civil engineering degree, but he hasn't found a job yet. I guess he could always be a grocer.

  To: jessie.whiting@utah.edu

  From: sfc.scholarship@sa.utah.edu

  Subject: Re: Groceries

  Date: March 20, 2017

  Jessie,

  Mr. Bow Tie wanted me to tell you there is a position available at Aspen Grove, and that you will be getting a $2/hr. pay raise. Just call or email Danny Moscovics from Aspen Grove to secure the position.

  Jane Lippett

  To: sfc.scholarship@sa.utah.edu

  From: jessie.whiting@utah.edu

  Subject: Re: Re: Groceries

  Date: March 21, 2017

  Dear Mrs. Lippett or Mr. Bow Tie,

  You are very generous and kind, but I have already told Jemma's dad to count on me at the grocery store this summer. I'll have some extra time, so I've also signed up for a couple of online psychology courses to get ahead. My summer is all scheduled. Thank you for thinking of me, though!

  Lakelyn and I were having dinner together last night, and she asked about the counseling thing and how I'm getting graded. I took a long drink of water while I thought of an answer, then I told her that the grade is mostly based on if I got someone to sign up. I told her that there is an anonymous survey at the end of the semester for all the students who have signed up to see how counseling has helped them, but that her answers won't affect my grade. After dinner I went on a walk and called Will. He said it will be easy to set up a survey. He'll send me the link once it's ready. He said I did a good job of thinking on my feet, and that the survey will help him see how Lakelyn is really doing. I told him that sounded like a pretty underhanded way to learn things she doesn't want to talk to him about. We compromised and he is only going to have questions where she ranks things from 1-10, like “from 1-10, how likely are you to continue counseling?” There won't be any questions where she can type out her own thoughts.

  Will came into town this morning, and we were talking about summer plans. He tried to convince me to work at Aspen Grove, too. He said it would be a better experience and would look better on a resume when I'm looking for jobs as a social worker. Maybe I shouldn't have committed to the grocery store job so quickly, but I have to honor my commitments. My mom never does, so I make myself stick to my promises, even the little ones.

  It was great seeing Will, but Lakelyn’s mom and grandpa were in town, too. They are a little standoffish and I still have a hard time striking up a conversation with either one of them. I kind of wonder if Will’s dad ever wears anything other than a white shirt and tie. That’s all I’ve seen him wear, even at Aspen Grove. I wondered for a while if he was my Mr. Bow Tie donor, but he doesn’t wear a bow tie, just an inferior, regular, old tie. I asked Will if his dad sponsors any scholarships, and he said no. He said his dad isn’t really into philanthropy efforts that don't benefit himself somehow. I don’t think he has a sense of humor, either, so it must not be you, Grandfather. I’m glad. I picture you much kinder and happier. Besides, if you were Will's dad, how awkward would it be to have written so much about your son to you!

  To: sfc.scholarship@sa.utah.edu

  From: jessie.whiting@utah.edu

  Subject: Ready for School

  Date: August 20, 2017

  My summer was fine. You and Will were both right: I should have worked at Aspen Grove. It was fine, though, and I made some money, so I shouldn’t regret it too much. It’s just that Jemma ended up working at the front end and I was mostly stocking shelves with Adam on a different shift than Jemma. Since the commute is a bit far for me, I spent the night a few times and spent some time with the McBride family. It was fun being with Jemma, but things just felt a little awkward with Adam. Maybe we just got on each other’s nerves from working so much together, but he is a bit whiny. His family always made sure we sat together at meals, and they would go out of their way to make awkward comments to us about kissing and our future kids and stuff like that. We are still dating, but we honestly don’t talk a whole lot. We still kiss though, so I guess that means we are dating. It should get better once I’m back at school and once Adam moves out of his parents’ house.

  Honestly the best part of my whole summer was last week when I went to Aspen Grove. Emily, my friend that I worked with last year at camp, invited me to come up for a couple days. It just happened to be a couple days that I had off from the grocery store, so I went. I hadn’t even talked to Emily since last summer, so her invitation surprised me. I actually didn’t see that much of her while I was there since she was working most of the time. I’m still scratching my head about why she invited me in the first place and went through the effort of getting permission for me to spend the night there. It was the best part of my summer, though, because Will was there! He was there, but Lakelyn and the rest of his family had already gone back home. I didn't ask him, but I wonder if he stayed around just to see me.

  On Saturday morning it was cloudy and a bit drizzly, but Will talked me into a short hike. It was a path I hadn't been on before. It went up above camp a ways, and there was a beautiful view of the valley. We were the only crazy ones out hiking in the rain, which was lovely. I mean the rain was lovely, as well as being alone with Will. I think I've written about how Will knows more about me than anyone, and he got to know even more about me. Instead of asking about my past, though, he asked about what I want for my future. I told him I want to be a social worker so that I can help kids who are growing up in families like mine. I don't know when things changed for me - and maybe I didn't realize it until Will asked - but I want to help people like me, not like my mom and Hunter like I originally thought. That sounds terrible, but let me explain. I've tried to help Mom and Hunter, but they don't want me to and get mad at me when I try. On the other hand, I grew up looking for the people that could help me: my first and fifth grade teachers, my school counselor, a college scholarship… I looked for people and opportunities that could show me a better way to live. I wanted more. Those are the people I want to help, whether they are poor, alcoholics, have mental illnesses, or have a drug addiction. As long as they really do want more and are willing to work for it, I want to help them.

  Will asked about what I envision my future family looking like, or if a family was in my future at all. I wish I could say that he was asking out of personal interest, but we really are just good friends. I told him I wanted to marry someone kind who makes me smile, someone who understands me, someone whose smile makes me woozy. The truth is, though, I will just be happy if there is a decent man out there who will marry me. I won't be too picky.

  Anyway, we were sitting in silence just enjoying being together, when the drizzle turned into a downpour. I jumped up, ready to head back to camp, but Will leaned back and closed his eyes and let the rain pour down. I sat back down and did the same. We would have gotten soaked either way, so we enjoyed it instead of running from it.

  After a few minutes we walked back to camp in the rain, our socks squishing in our shoes. He told me about how Lakelyn answered the questions on the survey he made up. She answered with a 5 on the question “how positive of an experience was counseling this semester,” but she gave a 10 for “how much has counseling helped you” and “how likely are you to continue counseling after this semester.” Will thanked me like five times for helping Lakelyn see a counselor and for being her friend. I am enjoying spending time with her, so it doesn't feel like I'm doing him any favors. Although I would befriend Oscar the Grouch if he asked me to.

  To: sfc.scholarship
@sa.utah.edu

  From: jessie.whiting@utah.edu

  Subject: Volunteering

  Date: September 1, 2017

  Adam got a job in Denver and he told me he wants to date other girls now. He still wants to date me when he visits Utah, too, but without any commitment. It works for me. It's not like I have tons of guys beating down my door to ask me out. It still hurts a little, though.

  My mom called this morning. She is done with treatment and landed a job as a cashier at Walgreens. The main reason she called was to apologize for some of the things she has put us through with her addiction. She said she read the book I recommended and that it has made her rethink a lot of things. I think this might be a breakthrough. I won't get too excited yet, of course, but who knows, maybe she really is going to beat it this time. She's never apologized to me before, anyway, so that's progress. Hunter is back at home and studying to take the GED. He's a smart kid, even if he has missed about a year of high school. He takes the test in about a month, so I'll let you know how it goes.

  I found out about an awesome non-profit in Salt Lake called USARA where they support people in every stage of addiction recovery. I started volunteering there this week and so far I love it! I've been thinking about ways that I can help alcoholics and drug addicts, and I keep thinking of starting a non-profit. I've had some ideas, but first I want to volunteer at a few places to get a feel for what is already available as well as what is needed in this community.