You Will Remember Me

by Hannah Mary McKinnon

  Things between Ash and me weren’t tense, not exactly, but in comparison to the day at the beach his mindset had definitely taken a more negative turn, and every evening when I drove back to the motel, I wondered if my being there was really such a good thing after all. We’d kissed a few times, but I hadn’t pushed for things to go any further, and neither had he, and I promised myself I’d take things slow despite wanting more.

  At least Maya had been chirpy, pleasant even. We’d chatted about our mutual passion for art, how we’d both had dreams of studying it at college. When she’d told me how her ambitions had evaporated after Brad had been killed and she’d lost focus, I made up an excuse about the impossible cost of the tuition being my biggest barrier. At that point she’d said degrees were overrated in her opinion, led me to the garage and showed me her sculptures, detailing all the ideas she had for the wood she’d collected and stored. She asked me my opinion, listened intently as I described how I’d wanted to revamp the website for Beach Body, and told her I’d be happy to help with hers. I no longer felt anxious when she was due to finish work, and when she arrived at the house one evening, about a week after I’d arrived in Newdale, she walked around the garage with a massive smile on her face.

  “This is amazing, guys,” she said, gesturing to the plasterboard we’d put up in her new room. “Really, it’s fabulous. I can’t believe how much you’ve done.”

  “I’ve got a cracking coworker,” Ash said, wiping the sweat from his brow. “With her help we’ll be finished in no time.”

  “Ah...” Maya pulled a face. “What if it took a little while longer...?”

  “You’re not adding more items to the list, are you?” Ash said curtly, and not for the first time I wondered why he always seemed more tense when Maya was around. From what I could see she was bending over backward to help him in any way she could, but I supposed sibling rivalry could get the best of us, no matter our age.

  “Uh-oh,” I joked, trying to get rid of the tension before it bloomed. “Sounds like you’ll have to put in a change request with the boss.”

  “No, it’s not more work in here,” Maya said. “What you’ve done is fantastic, but the thing is, we both know Ash should take a break.”

  “No, I shouldn’t,” Ash said.

  “Yeah, you should,” Maya and I replied in unison.

  She grinned. “Anyway, we could use your help at the restaurant.”

  “Me?” I said. “Really?”

  “Yeah. I talked to Patrick and he’s more than happy to give you a few shifts a week, maybe more. He knows our situation, we’re short-staffed and I said I’d vouch for you. You could start tomorrow. I’ll show you the ropes, but you’d be hosting, mainly, and the guests will love you. You’ve got that innocent, girl-next-door charm thing going on. You don’t mind me stealing her away for a bit, do you, Ash?”

  As he shook his head I could feel the heat in my cheeks. Maya had paid me multiple compliments since I’d arrived, from my complexion to my freckles, my toned arms and my tenacity to find Ash and not having given up on him. I’d worried it was fake at first, but she’d gone out of her way to make sure I was comfortable when visiting them. The initial vibe of jealousy I’d picked up from her had waned and disappeared. Maybe with my being in Newdale she didn’t see me as a threat anymore, and in her mind, getting me to work at the Cliff’s Head would lessen the worry about me trying to whisk Ash off to Maryland. Not that he had any intention of leaving, he’d made it quite clear, and the more time I spent here, the less I wanted to go back myself. Yes, there was still the confusion about Ash giving me a fake name, not to mention the cash, possible gambling and the break-in at his apartment, and yes, it all bothered me, but I wanted to keep my promise and help him figure things out. Until I knew for sure why he’d felt the need to mislead me about his identity, I wasn’t willing to give up on him.

  As tentative and temporary as it was, I could feel my world falling back into place here. Being away from Maryland, Heron and Stevens, meant I could do a little soul-searching of my own. Like Brookmount, Newdale was small, manageable, and not too far from a larger city so I could get my fill of hustle and bustle if I needed to, before retreating to the peace and quiet. I hadn’t told Ash, but I’d scoured the internet for local office jobs. My search hadn’t yielded much I could apply for in the immediate vicinity, and if I decided to stay on a more permanent basis, I’d have to widen the scope. While I was happy helping Ash part-time with the garage renovation, the money I had left from his emergency stash was almost gone. Mike had yet to pay me, I had enough for this month’s rent but the one after would be due in no time... As I looked at Maya beaming at me with an expectant expression on her face, I decided a few shifts at the Cliff’s Head was an opportunity I couldn’t turn down.

  “I’m in,” I said. “Thank you so much for doing this for me.”

  She waved a hand. “Nothing to thank me for. It’ll be fun working together and getting to know each other some more. We need to be there at eight thirty tomorrow morning. Fair warning, Patrick hates tardiness. He’s got super strict rules about it, among other things. Trust is his number one issue, so make sure you never break it.”

  “Got it,” I said, and Maya smiled. “Oh, before I forget, Ash mentioned you have some Benadryl? I think some of the dust or something in here is getting to me. Look.” I pulled up the sleeve of my shirt to reveal a cluster of itchy red dots.

  “Sorry, I used it up weeks ago,” Maya said. “I forgot to get some more.”

  “Are you sure?” Ash said. “I could’ve sworn there was a bottle in the bathroom the other day, and I saw a receipt from the pharmacy.”

  Maya looked at him and frowned. “Must’ve been an old one. Or maybe you’re remembering something from Brookmount?”

  “Maybe,” Ash said, his face a mixture of frustration and confusion. I hated seeing him this way, struggling to connect the pieces of his mind. It wasn’t fair, and I didn’t know how to help other than reassure him I used to buy Benadryl all the time, and Maya was right, it probably was a memory from something he’d seen months before.

  “I’ll get some on the way to the restaurant tomorrow,” I said. “There’s a pharmacy close to the motel.”

  “About that,” Maya said, looking at Ash. “Have you asked her yet?” When he gave a slight shake of his head she laughed. “Oh, for God’s sake.”

  “Asked me what?” I said.

  Maya sighed. “Do it now or I will.”

  Ash grinned and he held up his hands in surrender. “Fine. I—”

  “We,” Maya corrected him.

  “Right, right. Ahem. Lily, we were wondering if you’d like to move into the house.”

  “Wh-what?” I said. “Move in here?”

  “All right, you kids,” Maya said before Ash could reply. “I’m going to make a start on dinner, so I’ll leave you two to discuss logistics, but when you come to the house, Lily, I expect your answer to be yes.” She headed for the door with a decided spring in her step, and gave me a wink before disappearing out of the door. After she’d gone, Ash put his arms around me and I sank against his chest, pulling him closer.

  “Are you sure about this?” I said. “Me taking a job with Maya and moving into the house. I don’t want to put pressure on you and it sounds like it might extend my stay.”

  “I think it’s an excellent idea,” he whispered. “We have the spare room—”

  “The spare room?” I grinned, running my hands up his arms. “That doesn’t sound like fun.” I cupped his face with my hands and kissed him. When his fingers slid under my T-shirt, gliding across my back, I reciprocated. His embrace was harder now, hungrier, igniting the passion I’d stuffed away since I’d found him, and I responded, urging him to keep going. As his body reacted to mine, I pressed myself against him, before remembering the promise I’d made to myself about taking things slowly. I made myself pull aw
ay.

  “I don’t want—”

  “Me?” he said softly, a sly smile on his lips.

  “No, I mean, yes, but I want you to want me... Oh, shit, I’m a Marvin Gaye song.”

  I kissed him again. His lips slid over my neck, making me arch my back as a delectable shiver traveled the full length of my spine. In one swift movement I pulled his shirt over his head, revealing his flat stomach and the hair on his chest, which tapered into a sexy thin trail and disappeared into the top of his jeans. I’d imagined our first time together again in bed as romantic, gentle and tame, but as I fumbled to loosen his belt that was no longer what I wanted. What I wanted—needed—was for him to be inside me, as fast and deep and reckless as possible.

  There was no time or need for foreplay. We were both ready. I clung to him as he pushed me against the workbench, cried out as he slid inside. His mouth and hands found my breasts, and when his fingers slipped between my legs it didn’t take long for me to reach the point of no return. When he whispered my name, the way he said the single word made me pull him deeper still, dig my nails into his back, and propelled me over the edge, taking him with me.

  Afterward, as I peered over his shoulder, our breath ragged and our hearts pounding, a slight movement by the garage door caught my eye. I blinked three times, unsure of what I was seeing, but when I looked again, she was still there. Maya. She stood in the doorway, her gaze squarely on my face. How long had she been there? How much had she seen? I folded myself into Ash, trying to hide, and pressed my eyes shut.

  “Are you okay?” he whispered, kissing my neck, wrapping his arms around me.

  I couldn’t speak, couldn’t utter a single word, and when I found the courage to peep over at the doorway again, Maya was gone.

  * * *

  She didn’t say anything when we joined her in the house for dinner, and I didn’t bring it up with her, or Ash, either. The atmosphere between her and I remained amicable and unchanged, especially when I told her I’d agreed to stay at the house, and by the time we were doing the dishes I began to wonder if I’d imagined her standing in the garage doorway somehow.

  “Will you spend the night with me?” Ash asked after we’d gone to the motel to collect my things. Fiona had been so delighted when I told her I’d be staying with Ash she’d rushed around from behind the counter and given us both a hug.

  “What about Maya?” I said, discomfort sneaking back into my gut.

  “What about her?” Ash shrugged, a chill in his words. “We’re adults. She’s the one who suggested you move in.”

  It wasn’t enough to convince me, and I didn’t want to jeopardize my new job at the Cliff’s Head, either. “I’ll sleep in the other room for a while, then we can decide.”

  Ash grinned and kissed my fingertips. “All right. I don’t mind sneaking about in the middle of the night. It’s kind of...sexy.”

  Despite my reservations I crept to his bedroom later that night, hoping to make love to him slowly and gently this time, but he was fast asleep, and I couldn’t bring myself to wake him. I curled up beside him instead, wishing I could rest as peacefully.

  As I tossed and turned, I thought about how I should give Sam more of an update than “things are going well.” Then there were Heron and Stevens, from whom I’d heard nothing since I’d left. Good, because I was still furious at them digging up my past, not to mention their unfounded accusations of me having anything to do with Ash’s disappearance. I’d checked online, and so far, no arrests had been made in connection to the case, so I didn’t feel compelled to contact them, not until Ash was okay with it.

  When he’d first asked if I thought we should speak to the cops in Maryland, I’d balked. I’d secretly worried they’d either still think I had something to do with his accident, or bring up the whole Dominic Martel debacle, something I wasn’t ready for. I’d tell him at some point, but all in good time. Instead, I’d gently fished for any recollection about him gambling for money, and casually mentioned the name Jason Whitmarsh, relieved when he didn’t react at all.

  I’d also insisted I agreed with Maya, and that we should wait until we’d figured out more about why he’d left Newdale, and why he’d lied about his name. The only tangible reason we’d come up with was Keenan. We’d speculated he’d threatened Ash, or scared him into leaving, but if that was what had happened, why hadn’t he told Maya where he was going, or contacted her once he’d settled in Maryland? Maybe Keenan had threatened to hurt her. Perhaps we’d never know and it would remain one of life’s unexplained mysteries.

  As I lay there, listening to Ash’s rhythmic breathing, I asked myself once more if I was prepared to invest in a relationship with all these unknowns and complications, and the answer was an emphatic yes. He and I both had histories we wanted to leave behind. The only difference was I knew the full extent of my past. What mattered to me now was what we did with the future, and I wanted him to be in mine more than anything.

  * * *

  When I heard Maya downstairs shortly before eight, I stumbled out of bed. Ash was still asleep, lying on his side and snoring gently, so I quickly went to my room to get ready for work, and headed downstairs.

  “I made you coffee,” Maya said when I walked into the kitchen. “Cream and sugar.”

  Her generosity and attention to detail gave me the sudden urge to clear my conscience. “Thank you...and...uh, about yesterday, in the garage—”

  “It’s none of my business.”

  “I love him, Maya.”

  “I understand.”

  “I won’t hurt him.”

  “I know.” Her eyes narrowed. “Because it’ll be the last thing you’ll ever do.”

  I expected a smile, for her to make a joke about pretending to be a Newdale mafioso, but she remained serious and unflinching, the weight of her words hanging between us.

  As I turned around to escape her gaze, a bleary-eyed Ash walked in, pulling a T-shirt over his head while stifling a yawn. “Man, I could sleep for another week,” he said.

  “We keep telling you you’re working too hard,” Maya said. “Stay in bed.”

  “I’ll go back up in a bit,” he snapped, before closing his eyes for a moment and adding, softly this time, “Didn’t mean to jump down your throat there. Sorry, Bee.” He frowned as Maya let out a cross between a gasp and a squeak. “Maya the Bee,” he whispered. “That’s what we used to call you when you were a kid. That’s your nickname.”

  Maya rushed over and flung her arms around him. “Yes, yes, that’s right.”

  “This is huge,” I said, unable to contain my excitement. “Isn’t that one of the oldest things that’s come back so far? That’s got to be significant.”

  “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” Ash said.

  “But it could mean more of your memory’s returning,” I said. “Dr. Adler mentioned—”

  “Dr. Adler?” Ash said. “When did you speak to him?”

  “Oh, I, uh...I phoned him when I first arrived. We talked about amnesia in general.”

  “You never mentioned it...did you?” Ash said.

  “No,” I replied quickly. “With everything that’s been happening, it slipped my mind.”

  He grinned. “I can relate.”

  “We’d better get going,” Maya said, cutting him off with another hug. “This is amazing, so incredibly amazing. We’ll talk later, okay? We really shouldn’t be late. You take it easy today, you hear me?”

  He held up his hands. “Fine, fine, I promise. In any case, you should be able to move the shelving units into your new room soon. Are you sure you don’t want me to put a window on the back wall?”

  “Way too much work.” Maya gave him a peck on the cheek. “But thank you.”

  “You’re welcome,” he said before a frown crossed his face. “By the way, before you go, have either of you seen my dad’s watch?”

/>   Maya shook her head. “Have you lost it?”

  “I don’t know how,” Ash replied. “I put it on my dresser. I’m sure I did.”

  “It’ll show up,” she said. “Come on, Lily, we’d better get going.”

  * * *

  The day went by in a blur. Maya had filled me in on Patrick before we got to the restaurant and she was right: I liked him even more the second time we met. Maya had given him the details about my arrival in Newdale, and he hadn’t pressed me for information about my first visit to the Cliff’s Head, something I was grateful for. Patrick had a serenity about him. Even when one of the suppliers brought cilantro instead of mint Patrick never raised his voice, didn’t once utter a cross word. In many ways he reminded me of a younger version of Mike. At the end of my shift he congratulated me on a job well done, and said he hoped to put me to work as close to full-time as possible, at least until the end of the summer, if I agreed. I told him I needed a day or so to think about it.

  “You seem pleased,” Maya said when we got in her car.

  “Patrick asked me to stay longer term,” I said, relaying his plans, to which she smiled broadly, insisting it was a great idea, that now I had no reason to leave Newdale. “I’ll talk to Ash about it, but thanks for this, Maya. I know we kind of got off on the wrong foot.”

  She sighed, letting her hands fall into her lap. “I was a jerk. I was terrified I’d lose Ash again when you arrived here. To be honest, I was angry he’d never told you about me, jealous, too, but I realize I had nothing to worry about. It’s all working out perfectly.”

  “Yes, it is, isn’t it? That new flashback this morning was fantastic. I’m hoping it’s just the beginning of a proper recovery. Maybe in no time at all, everything will come back.”

  “Maybe, but...look, the doctors were very clear about him possibly never getting back to normal, whatever normal is. I know I can live with that, but can you?”

  “Yes,” I whispered. “I told you I love him, and...well, I hope he still loves me.”