Ginny Moon

by Benjamin Ludwig

  I turn back into the house and go into the kitchen. I stand in front of the refrigerator and think about the rule We do not open the refrigerator. My Forever Mom and Forever Dad made that rule because they know I have issues with food. But they’re not here right now. And I’m not at the Blue House. I’m in Crystal with a C’s Little White House.

  My hands shake. I open the refrigerator.

  Inside I see one carton of twelve eggs and one carton of nine and some ketchup and twenty-two slices of bread in a bag and seven onions and an eight-ounce block of Grade A pasteurized cheddar cheese. Four sticks of butter in a box. Two unopened half gallons of milk. I see other things too but I pick up the cheese. And the ketchup because ketchup is quick and easy.

  I start eating.

  When the cheese is gone I take one of the half gallons of milk out of the refrigerator because I want a drink. The one that belongs to Crystal with a C. The other half gallon of milk is the one I brought from the Blue House. I don’t remember putting it away. Crystal with a C must have moved it. But I wonder if my Forever Parents are angry that I took it. I wonder if my Forever Mom needs the milk for my new Forever Sister who isn’t born yet. Baby Wendy. Last week my Forever Mom said they were going to the hospital any day now.

  Any day now.

  I am glad that Crystal with a C found my Baby Doll in the suitcase. I am glad she took care of it and went over there every day but I’m also anxious about Gloria taking care of it herself. I know she won’t give it food or keep it clean. I know she sometimes has strange men come sleep over. Plus there’s Donald. I believe everything Crystal with a C says and I trust her 100 percent but there are some things she just doesn’t know because she wasn’t there all the time. Some things I remember deep in my brain and won’t ever, ever talk about.

  Which means I have to go find Gloria’s apartment right now. I can’t wait.

  EXACTLY 7:02 IN THE MORNING,

  TUESDAY, OCTOBER 19TH

  I walk into the living room. I need to find a computer so that I can look for Gloria’s address because I don’t know where I am or where she is or how to get there.

  I look at the woodstove which has a fire in it. I look at the couch and at the chair. There’s no TV. I look around for a computer but I don’t see one. I walk down the hallway and find the bathroom. I pee. I find a bedroom with Crystal with a C’s things in the dresser. Then I find another bedroom with a bed and a desk. The desk has a light on it and nothing in the drawers. The bed has sheets and a wool blanket and a pillow.

  I look in all the closets and the cabinets. There is no computer in this house. There is nothing that can tell me what town I’m in or where Gloria is. I don’t know her address.

  So I will go find a library.

  The library is where you go when you want to get on a computer to find something out. Or when you want to send a message to Gloria. I’m guessing Gloria might not be able to send me a message on Manicoon.com because the police are watching it but she might have her address on the page. I remember that there was a button that said Contact Me.

  I take the half gallon of milk I brought from the Blue House out of the refrigerator for my Baby Doll. It really likes milk. Milk is what all babies need. I put the half gallon back in my backpack with my flute and my quilt. Then I zip my jacket and go to the bathroom again and put my backpack on and walk out the door.

  The driveway leads down through the woods. Tall grass grows on the side of it. It brushes my pants as I walk. The wind is loud all around me and the air is cold. At the end of the driveway I come to a road. It goes left and right. There are trees across the street and trees on this side of the street and no other cars and no buildings.

  I stand and think. A car goes by. A red car that comes from the right and goes to the left. I don’t know if it’s going to or from town. I’m guessing if I was in the car I would be going to school. And school is in town. So I start walking that way.

  Right away I see a man coming toward me.

  I start picking at my fingers.

  The man comes walking up over a hill. He is dressed in clothes that are all green and brown with crisscrossed lines all over. He has big brown boots and a hat. He is carrying something over his shoulder. It is a gun.

  I want to run and hide. I don’t like men especially if they are policemen and this man is like a policeman even though I don’t think he is one because he isn’t wearing the right uniform. He is wearing what a hunter wears. The brown and green lines tell me he is good at hiding and sneaking.

  “’Morning,” says the man in a happy voice as he comes closer.

  He stops right in front of me. I am glad he didn’t ask me anything but then he says, “Are you on your way to catch the bus? The school bus came by about two or three minutes ago.”

  I want to say Well dang! but instead I say, “No.”

  He looks at me. “Someone coming to pick you up, then?”

  I shake my head. Maybe if I stop giving answers with my mouth he’ll stop asking questions with his.

  “Well, then, what are you doing out here all by yourself on a school day?”

  I can’t tell him where I’m going. If I do I’ll get caught.

  “I am going for a walk,” I say. Because it’s true. I was walking.

  “A walk? Are you walking to school?”

  “No,” I say.

  “You’re just walking, then,” he says.

  “I am just walking,” I say.

  “Okay,” he says. And then, “Say, you don’t happen to be wearing a Michael Jackson shirt under that jacket, do you?” He puts his finger out toward me.

  I recoil.

  When I look back at him he is putting his two hands out like he’s asking me to be quiet. “Sorry,” he says. “It’s just that I heard on the radio that they’re looking for a girl about your age wearing a Michael Jackson shirt and carrying a flute. Well, watch out for moose on your walk, all right? I went out for deer this morning, but moose are still crossing the roads. They’re still out and about. The bulls are crazy this time of year. Okay?”

  “Okay,” I say. Then I step around him very, very carefully in case he tries to touch me again. I keep walking but I don’t hear him walking away. I know he’s still looking at me.

  So I start counting.

  At five I hear footsteps on the road so I look behind me quick. He is walking backward and still watching. I stare at him. He waves and turns and starts walking the regular way.

  But now I am anxious because the man might call the police. I stop and count to twenty and then turn all the way around. The man is gone. I start going back the way I came to the driveway. I’m guessing that if I go to town and find the library right now I will get caught. I will try again tomorrow.

  Then I get scared because someone else could see me right now. Maybe another car will go by or I’ll see someone else on the road. I step into the woods and walk through the trees and tall grass until I get back to the Little White House at the top of the driveway.

  EXACTLY 7:09 AT NIGHT,

  TUESDAY, OCTOBER 19TH

  It is dark outside. I see lights coming toward the house. Tires on the driveway. A car door shuts and someone comes up the steps.

  I move fast into the living room.

  Then Crystal with a C opens the door and walks right in. “Hey, Ginny,” she says. She walks right past me into the kitchen and puts two plastic bags down on the counter. “How did it go today? Everything at work was fine. No one even mentioned the whole Amber Alert thing, except some new contractor in the break room.” I hear her open the refrigerator. “Whoa.”

  I am still in the living room next to the screen door.

  “Ginny, the eggs are still here, but where’s the rest of the food?”

  So I say, “I ate it.”

  “Y
ou ate it?”

  I nod my head yes.

  Crystal with a C walks into the living room. “Ginny, did you really eat all the food in the refrigerator? Except the eggs?”

  I nod my head yes again even though I hid the bread and the milk in a closet. She walks to the garbage can and looks inside it. She picks up the empty ketchup bottle and the little papers that went around the butter. And the empty cheese wrapper. “You seriously ate all this?”

  “Yes.”

  “Did you cook something?”

  “No.”

  She looks through the garbage some more. She picks out the empty brownie box. “This, too?”

  I nod my head yes. It is good in milk.

  “Without baking it? Did you get sick? Did you throw up, I mean?”

  But that was three questions in a row.

  Crystal with a C makes a breathing sound. “I don’t know if I should get you a laxative or worry about diarrhea. Look, tomorrow you have to eat what I tell you. I’ll even write it down. You can’t eat everything that’s in the refrigerator or you’ll make your tummy really upset. You could get constipated. Do you understand?”

  I don’t know what constipated means so I say, “No.”

  “Just eat what I put on the list, okay?”

  “I like lists,” I say.

  “Good. Now, why don’t you put these new groceries away for me while I get dressed? Then we’ll make supper together. I’ll show you how to make scrambled eggs.”

  She drops the brownie box back in the garbage can.

  “Wait,” I say.

  She looks at me.

  “What town do Gloria and my Baby Doll live in?” I say.

  “They’re still in Harrington Falls. Now go get those groceries put away. I need to get changed out of these clothes.”

  EXACTLY 6:50 AT NIGHT,

  WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 20TH

  I am standing with my toes on the crack at the edge of the doorway trying to figure how to get out of the Little White House without getting wet. Because it rained all day and my raincoat is back at the Blue House. And I don’t like to be wet. I like to be dry all the time unless I’m taking a bath or a shower or I’m in a pool. Not having a raincoat is making me very, very anxious. I am trapped.

  Crystal with a C doesn’t have a raincoat either. I checked.

  At seven o’clock it is still raining so I take my shower because Crystal with a C said that’s what I should do from now on if she’s not home yet. When I turn the water off and step out of the tub I find something hard and black on my leg. I can’t get it off and I can’t see what it is because I’m not wearing my glasses. Then I put them on but it’s too steamy to see. I hear noises on the other side of the door. I’m guessing it’s Crystal with a C so I walk out of the bathroom and into the kitchen and see her setting the table. “There’s something on my leg,” I say.

  And she says, “Ginny, get a towel!”

  So I go back into the bathroom and get a towel and put it around me. Then I come back out and say again, “There’s something on my leg.”

  “Let me see it,” she says. She stands up and looks. Then she says, “I need to get some tweezers. Come with me into the bathroom, all right?”

  We go into the bathroom. She finds some tweezers in the medicine cabinet and pulls the hard thing off. It hurts when she pulls it so I say, “Ow!” Then she shows it to me. She says it is a tick.

  The tick is a small black bug. I know because it has legs.

  “All right,” she says. “Let me check to see if you have any more. There are a ton of them out here.”

  She takes the towel off and looks at my legs and arms and back. She checks my belly and my sides. She finds three more ticks and takes them all off. One is on my back where a belt goes. One is near my knee. And one is on my ankle.

  Then I say, “Why were they holding on to me?”

  And she says, “They weren’t holding on. They were biting. Ticks bite into people’s skin.”

  “Why do they do that?”

  “To drink their blood.”

  Then I get really, really scared.

  So I say, “Like a vampire?”

  And she says, “Yes, sort of.”

  The pictures in my head start moving faster. I remember the vampire movies Gloria used to watch on TV. When a vampire bites someone the person turns into a vampire. So I say, “Am I going to turn into a tick?”

  “Of course not,” she says. “But how on earth did you get covered in ticks? Ginny, have you been outside?”

  That was two questions at once so I don’t say anything.

  “Ginny, I asked you if you’ve been outside.”

  “It is raining,” I say.

  “Yes, I know it is raining, and I know you don’t like to get wet unless you’re in the shower, but that’s not the answer to my question. Did you go outside?”

  “Yes.”

  “Where did you go?”

  “Down the driveway.”

  “Today?”

  “No.”

  “When?”

  “Yesterday.”

  “Ginny, you can’t do that. If someone sees you, you’ll get caught, and then you won’t be able to go with me to Canada. You won’t be able to see your Baby Doll.”

  So I say, “But I have to make sure it’s safe. Gloria can’t take care of it.”

  “Holy shit! Yes, she can! It’s only for a little while! Your Baby Doll isn’t even—”

  Then she stops. “Look, I’m not a psychologist. I don’t know what you can process and what you can’t. But there’s something you’re just not seeing yet, and I’m seriously afraid to explain it. I don’t want you to blow a gasket or anything. So please, please, believe me that your Baby Doll is safe with Gloria for now. Maybe not forever, but for now. Just stay put, will you? It’s only for a few weeks!”

  EXACTLY 6:22 IN THE MORNING,

  THURSDAY, OCTOBER 21ST

  It isn’t raining anymore.

  Before I was adopted I tried to run away three times from my different Forever Homes but the police always found me and brought me back. I ran away from Carla and Mike when I was still nine years old and then two times from Samantha and Bill when I was eleven. But this time is different because I’m not running away from Crystal with a C. She kidnapped me so she can’t call the police. Even if she wants to. She’ll get in trouble if she does.

  I know it’s mostly an expression but sometimes I am a smart cookie.

  Crystal with a C left for work five minutes ago. I am wearing my jacket and standing at the crack in front of the front door. I already put the unopened milk and the bread in my backpack with my flute and my quilt. So I go outside. It is a sunny day even though the trees and grass are still wet from the rain. And it is cold.

  Now I know that Gloria and my Baby Doll live in Harrington Falls. Even though I don’t know where that is I can find it. I can stop at the library or ask a lady for directions when I find a sidewalk.

  At the bottom of the driveway I look both ways. I look for hunters. I look for police. I see only the empty road with no cars or people or moose which are crazy this time of year.

  I turn left and start walking. I’m guessing if I go to town no one will be looking for me because it’s been two whole days since I met the man with the gun who sometimes forgets how to walk the right way. The sand on the side of the road kicks up against the back of my legs and gets in my shoes but I have to be okay with that because I have a long way to go to Harrington Falls. And I know that if I walk in the woods I’ll get ticks that suck my blood.

  I hear a noise behind me. An engine. I turn and see a gray car coming. In the window I see that it is Crystal with a C.

  She drives next to me and stops. Her window is down. I keep
going because I don’t want to talk. The car pulls in front of me and stops. “Ginny, stop!” Crystal with a C yells. She gets out of the car.

  So I stop to hear what she will say.

  “Where the hell are you going?”

  “I’m going to Harrington Falls,” I say.

  “We already talked about this. You have to go back to the house. If you don’t, you’ll get caught.”

  “I will not get caught,” I say.

  “Ginny, you’re as subtle as an elephant in a traffic jam. You can’t take care of yourself at all. And this proves it. You need to be watched constantly. But, honey, I have to go to work! I have to go to work, or people will start to wonder where the hell I am.”

  I look at my fingers.

  “And now you’re trying to hike across the whole state and you don’t even know which way to go. And you have no clue how to deal with people. When it comes to dealing with people, you stick out like a sore thumb. See what I mean?”

  I don’t say anything.

  “Ginny, get in the car.”

  “No.”

  “What do you think is going to happen if you find your way all the way to Harrington Falls? It’s a two-hour drive! Do you know how long it would take you to walk that far? Even if you get there safely, the police will find you. They talk with Gloria every day. Don’t you get it? They’re actively looking for you! If you go there, they’ll take you back to the Blue House. And I’ll go to fucking jail! Now get in the damn car before someone sees us!”

  I hear a sound. Another car. I look up and see a black car coming from where I think town might be. It goes by and doesn’t stop.

  “See?” says Crystal with a C. “This isn’t safe, Ginny. We have to go back to the house this second, or this whole thing will fall apart in a very big way. I’ll even stay home with you, all right? I’ll call in sick to work. Ginny, please!”

  I make sure my mouth is closed and then I think. It’s true that if I get to Harrington Falls and find Gloria’s apartment the police will find me. I didn’t think of that before. Plus they already know about my hiding place under the sink. They’ll find me and take me away again. Crystal with a C is right.