It Was Always You

by Natalie R Allen

  My mouth opened in surprise. “She left with you chasing her down?” I couldn’t believe it.

  Caleb shrugged. “Apparently I wasn’t enough for her.”

  I rubbed my hand on the side of his face. “You’re enough for me,” I whispered.

  Caleb’s eyes turned guarded. “I won’t be hurt like that again,” he said carefully.

  “I would never part from you.” I swallowed, afraid of his reaction.

  “You don’t have a choice.” His lips turned up sadly.

  Present Day

  My heart ached and I couldn’t listen any longer. I tapped twice on the door.

  “Alright, you two, it’s time.” Simon groaned and I could hear him grumbling.

  “Simon, I’m not kidding. Let her out.” Katie laughed, but the sound was no closer to the door. I pounded again.

  “Katie, if you don’t come out now, I’m going to tell Simon your most embarrassing moment and I am not joking.” Katie gasped and I smirked. She opened the door instantly, with Simon on her heels. He swatted her behind as she passed the threshold, making her blush. I let Katie pass, but put a hand on Simon’s chest to stop him.

  “See you later, baby.” Simon smiled at Katie and she giggled.

  I rolled my eyes. “I’m going to throw up if you don’t stop. Let’s go.” I grabbed Katie’s hand and practically dragged her down the hall.

  CHAPTER 19

  We made it to my room and I pulled out a chair for Katie. “Sit.”

  I gathered all my supplies and set them on the small table near the window. I styled Katie’s hair and left it down, knowing Simon liked it that way. Katie’s silence as I worked had me worried that my tense mood was rubbing off on her. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Well, are you nervous, excited, ready to have it over? What’s going through your mind?” I asked as I started her makeup.

  She sighed. “All of it, I suppose. But mostly…never mind,” she muttered.

  I squinted at her, curious now. “Mostly what?”

  She opened one eye at me and closed it again. “I’m nervous. I’m not quite sure...what to expect, exactly, and my mom isn’t around to ask. I guess I could talk to Aunt Chantelle.”

  I smiled sweetly at her. “Katie, you know what to expect. You’ve been around my parents enough; it can last forever. You just have to work at it, and you’ll both be happy. Besides you two love each other so much; I don’t see how it could get any better.” I shrugged.

  Katie looked mortified by my reassuring words. “What the heck, Amy? This is getting awkward. Forget I said anything.” She closed her eyes to me again.

  There was only confusion until it dawned on me as to what she was talking about. Laughter burst from me and I grasped the table.

  Katie sat up straight and slapped my arm half-heartedly. “See! I told you! I shouldn’t have brought it up. And there you are going on about how your parents can last forever!”

  I laughed harder and Katie joined me. “I thought—I thought—” I couldn’t get it out. Katie slapped me a second time. I coughed a couple of times and went to get a tissue to dab my eyes dry. I cleared my throat. “I’m sorry. I thought you were talking about love and marriage in general.” I chuckled and handed her a tissue.

  She smiled, her face blushing, and shook her head. “I wasn’t. I mean, I know what’s going to happen. I’m just nervous about it.”

  I thought about being in her place. How would I feel to have the questions and nerves without my mom to talk to on my wedding day? I sobered and leaned over to hug her. “I know you wish your mom could be here. I’ll bet she’s watching right now, and she would want you to talk with my mom.” I stood, giving her a small smile. “You shouldn’t be shy or scared, Katie. That man loves you beyond words; anyone can see it. Still, I’ll find Mom when we’re done and you two can talk.”

  Katie nodded. “You’re right. I do wish my mom was here, but I do have another one and I would like to talk with her.”

  I nodded. “Let’s get on with this or we’ll be late…and I am never late,” I teased.

  Katie grinned with her eyes closed and I finished her makeup.

  Mom came in and I left to give them some privacy. Katie was going to have a heart-to-heart with my mom, and I felt the moment would be a special one between the two of them. Mom would help Katie into her gown when the time came, and I wouldn’t see her again until the ceremony.

  I checked my appearance in a hallway mirror and headed for the stairs. For the first time today, I wondered where Byron was. I hadn’t seen him since he left to help Simon and Caleb, but I had seen both of them since, and still no Byron. Like magic, he appeared in the lobby below and I returned his pleased smile when he saw me. He looked good in his suit.

  My smile dimmed as Caleb walked through the front door in his tux. He stopped in his tracks and his eyes followed me until I reached the bottom. I swallowed and took a deep breath. If I was with Byron, I had to be with Byron. No more Caleb. No laughing or flirting. No deep conversations, no vulnerabilities. I had to move forward with Byron.

  So, as much as it killed me inside to walk past Caleb without another glance his way, that’s what I did. I kept my eyes on Byron and wrapped my arms around him as soon as he was close enough. He didn’t hesitate to kiss me full on the mouth before he stepped back. He admired me from head to toe. “You look so beautiful, Amy,” he said softly.

  I smiled. “You look pretty good, yourself.”

  “I guess I’ll see you after the ceremony.”

  I shook my head. “No, let me walk out with you. I have enough time.”

  Byron seemed pleased by my offer and I linked my hand through his arm. He nodded at Caleb as we walked past but I kept my focus forward.

  We walked around the side of the lodge and past the white-tented area to the seating for the ceremony. The seats were mostly full, and I was glad so many people had turned up for Simon and Katie.

  Beautiful flower arrangements were placed down either side of the aisle, and at the end was an arched backdrop where I could see Simon talking with his parents, contented smiles on their faces.

  I walked Byron to his seat and bade him goodbye, waving at some of the guests I knew as I retraced my steps to the lobby.

  Anxiety tried to get the better of me when I thought of Caleb waiting for me. He was the best man and I, the maid of honor. We would be walking down the aisle together. The irony had me shaking my head. Katie would owe me forever for this. It would take every bit of strength I had to get through this night.

  I walked slowly up the steps and ignored Caleb as he opened the door for me.

  “Are you okay?” His voice was soft with concern, and it grated me. I nodded as I walked past, heading straight for Holly near the stairs. She was the perfect distraction for me right then.

  “I know, I know,” she said, covering her face with her hands.

  “My brother; seriously?” I shook my head. “Why didn’t you tell me? I’ve been bothering you with all of my men this weekend and you didn’t say a thing!” I spoke in a hushed tone.

  Holly folded her arms across her chest and shrugged. “I’m sorry. I don’t even know what to say. I…” She shrugged again with a guilty smile.

  I held my hands up in surrender. “Hey, who am I to judge?”

  Holly was relieved. “Thanks. I’ll see you out there.”

  She walked out the front door and left me to Caleb’s watchful eyes. I hadn’t fully looked at him; I couldn’t. I was in a fragile state emotionally, and I had a long way to go tonight. I could do without his wicked smiles and caring tone. I stayed near the stairs, hoping Katie would make her appearance at any moment.

  We stayed in silence long enough, I glanced over to see if Caleb was still there. He was looking at me with a soft, peculiar expression, as though he could look at me all day. His lips turned up and he came toward me, stopping only two feet away. I focused on my hands and fidgeted with my bracelet.

  “How are you doing with all of t
his?” Caleb asked softly. His question caught me off guard and I looked at him. He searched my face. “With the wedding, I mean.”

  “Oh. It’s turned out well,” I said, unsure if that’s what he was looking for.

  He shook his head. “That’s not what I meant. How are you doing with the fact that your best friend, your sister, is getting married first? You always wanted a husband and family. How are you doing?” His voice was so tender, it was hard for me to believe that he didn’t care.

  “I’m fine. Really. Katie deserves to be happy,” I nodded.

  “And what about you? Your happiness?” He reached a hand up to touch the side of my face and I took a small step away from him.

  “Don’t,” I said weakly. “You can’t keep doing this to me. It’s not fair.” A weight settled heavily in my chest as I tore my gaze away from his confused face.

  Katie’s voice sounded from the top of the stairs and I turned my attention to her. I smiled at her and my parents as they descended the stairs. The front door opened. Olivia and Bryce came in and stood next to Caleb.

  “All right, sweetie. I’ll see you out there,” my mom said to Katie. She hugged her and I saw her wiping a tear away as she went through the door.

  I beamed at Katie and hugged her. “I’m so happy for you, Katie. Truly I am,” I said quietly in her ear. I stepped back and took my place next to Caleb. He looked at me and held his arm out. I took it, but only because I had to. I needed to keep him at arm's length tonight.

  We followed Oliva and Bryce out the door and I waited for Caleb, who had stopped to hold the door open for Katie and my dad. Caleb joined me again and as we walked down the steps, he trapped me in conversation. “Do you want to tell me what that was about?” he whispered.

  I met his scrutinizing eyes. “You confuse me, and I need you to stop.”

  His brows furrowed. “I confuse you, how?”

  We slowed to a stop right behind Oliva and Bryce. I shook my head. “Later,” I told him, though I had no intention of doing so.

  Caleb and I took our turn down the aisle and I hated every second of it. Fate was mocking me, giving me a glimpse of something I wanted but couldn’t have. How many times had I wished to walk down the aisle with him, the one person I could never have? My hands shook and I found myself squeezing Caleb’s arm. He didn’t look over but set a hand on top of mine. “I got you,” he said under his breath and it tugged at my heart.

  We made it to the front and parted ways, standing in our places on either side of the archway. Everyone stood for the bride’s music and Katie came into view at the end of the aisle. She looked nervous but when she saw Simon, her face broke into a grin and she started toward him. He was looking at her the way only Simon could, and winked as she and my dad walked forward. Dad kissed Katie’s cheek and placed her hand in Simon’s.

  The vows Katie and Simon exchanged were short but sweet. Both spoke of loving each other their entire lives. I was surprised neither of them cried. They smiled at each other as if they were the only two people in the world. I was the one choking back tears, and when I looked away, I found my eyes glued to Caleb. His attention was on the bride and groom. He seemed to be thoroughly enjoying himself. I bit back a smile as I watched him, and I let myself linger longer than I should.

  Caleb looked ridiculously good tonight. His light hair and blue eyes stood out against the dark color of his tux—he was the man of my dreams. Caleb’s eyes suddenly flickered to me as though he had heard my thoughts. His lips twitched, hiding a smile, but I still didn’t look away.

  Olivia poked me in the lower back, making me jump. She widened her eyes at me in obviousness and nodded toward Katie. When I looked Katie’s way, she was holding her hand out to me with an expectant look on her face. I paused in confusion and quickly realized the ceremony was waiting for me to give her Simon’s ring. I slipped it off my thumb and handed it to her. “Sorry,” I whispered.

  Katie grinned and turned back to Simon. I kept my eyes on her as she placed the ring on Simon’s finger, but found an excuse to look at Caleb again when Simon turned to get Katie’s ring from him. Caleb stepped back into place and threw me a quick wink. I tried not to smile as I turned my attention to the new married couple, now locked in their first kiss as husband and wife. We waited for them to stop, but it wasn’t until Caleb cleared his throat that they finally stepped back from each other.

  CHAPTER 20

  Soon after the ceremony, the guests were moved to the reception area under the large, white tent. White lights streamed across the ceiling, and two chandeliers hung at either end. There were tables set up at one end, but the rest of the floor was left open for dancing. Pillars with flower arrangements lined the edges of the floor from one end to the other, and small, similar arrangements sat at the center of each table. Everything had turned out beautifully.

  Caleb escorted me to the table next to Katie’s, which was reserved for my brothers, Olivia, Byron, Caleb, and me. My parents, and Simon’s, sat at the head table with the bride and groom. I sat next to Byron. He smiled at me as Caleb scooted my chair in behind me. Olivia was to my left and Caleb was directly across from me, between Bryce and Parker.

  “Was that not the sweetest ceremony you have ever seen?” Olivia sighed next to me.

  I nodded at her. “It really was.”

  Olivia seemed a little disappointed. She spoke with a sigh. “My husband has never looked at me like that.”

  I followed her gaze to Simon. His face was glowing with love and adoration. Olivia and I sighed in unison and then giggled at each other.

  “Sounds like you need to give that husband of yours a talking to,” Byron said to Olivia with a bit of an aggressive tone.

  Her eyes shifted to Byron. “Yeah I guess so,” she mumbled.

  I looked at Byron. I’d never heard him talk that way to anyone. “Easy,” I teased.

  He cleared his throat. “I’m just saying…” His focus turned elsewhere, and I was left in a state of confusion.

  I blinked across the table. Caleb had his eyebrows raised and was looking back and forth between Byron and Olivia. His eyes met mine and he shrugged.

  My mother’s voice came over the crowd through the microphone and the chatter died down. She thanked everyone for coming and told what the evening would entail. Then she called for Caleb to give the best man’s speech with mine to follow.

  My stomach dropped. I had completely forgotten about giving a speech. I nearly groaned; I’d have to wing it.

  All eyes were on Caleb as he gracefully made his way to the microphone and smiled at Simon and Katie. He watched them both for a moment and cleared his throat. “Good evening, everyone. I’m Caleb Weslyn, the best man.” Caleb paused as his eyes swept over the crowd. “You know, I’ve known Simon for a long time now, but I feel like I’ve known Katie just as long, for how much he talked about her through the years.” He winked at Katie and there were chuckles through the crowd. Katie smiled knowingly and kissed Simon on the cheek.

  My focus was solely on Caleb, completely carried away by his soft voice, I and imagined he was saying these things for me alone. “The love and devotion Simon and Katie share for one another is amazing to me. What they have together is something rare, something that shouldn’t be taken lightly. To have that kind of love for another person…” Caleb looked directly at my teary-eyed face. “It’s an incredible thing. Katie and Simon are proof that love lasts, that it endures.” He paused with his eyes still on me, before looking at Simon and Katie again. Katie’s chin was quivering and Simon wrapped his arm around her. “You both know me, my story, and I want to thank you for showing me that love really can conquer all.” He cleared his throat. “Now Simon, here, he’s the only family I’ve got. So I hope you can put up with me too, Katie.” He winked at Katie again and she smiled, nodding at him through her tears. “I want you to know that I love you both. And congratulations.” Applause erupted as soon as Caleb finished and even a few whistles were thrown out.

  Caleb’s
eyes found mine again as he made his way back to our table and I felt like my heart was going to beat out of my chest. I tried to swallow, but the lump in my throat wouldn’t cooperate. Byron patted my hand and I tore my eyes away from Caleb.

  “You’re up,” Byron whispered.

  My eyes widened. I forgotten about my speech already and dread filled me as I stood from the table. I glanced once more at Caleb and walked slowly to the front of the crowd. My hands were trembling. I wished I would’ve talked first so everyone would remember Caleb’s words, not mine. I looked out at the guests, but I only saw one person, and settled my gaze comfortably in that safe space. Caleb. He nodded at me subtly, and a calm came over me. I took a breath.

  “I don’t know what I could possibly say to top that. However, if Caleb thinks he has been hearing about these two for a long time—” I raised an eyebrow at him. “He has no idea.” The crowd laughed and I eased my way into the rest of my speech. “Caleb is right, though. The devotion these two have had for one another is incredible. As I watched them throughout the years, I was always a little jealous of what they had.” I looked at Caleb again. “Now though, I couldn’t be happier. They really are perfect for one another. That they could spend only a few days with one another every year and keep that love strong enough to last a lifetime…” I smiled at Simon. “Let me just say thank you, Simon, on Katie’s behalf, for putting her out of her misery.”

  Simon grinned broadly and nodded. “It was my pleasure.”

  The crowd laughed and I wrapped up. “I wish you two the best. And I love you both.”

  Applause followed me to the table, and I breathed a sigh of relief as I took my seat.

  With the speeches over, dinner was served. The food looked good, but I didn’t have much of an appetite. Still, I found that I was enjoying myself immensely. Our table was loud with laughter, and I was surprised how much I enjoyed hearing Byron and Caleb’s man-talk as much as I did. They joked and teased with each other, and my brothers didn’t hesitate to join in.