Eat My Schwartz
Page 19
3. Sprinkle some flour on a clean work surface. Place the ball of dough on the surface then knead the dough by hand for 3 minutes until the dough is smooth and firm. Roll it up, place in a bowl and cover it with a damp towel. Leave it to rise for 2 hours. You’ll know it is ready when the dough stretches easily when pulled.
4. Section the dough into 4 equal balls. Work each ball by pulling down the sides, as if you are peeling it from the top, and then tuck the “peeled” dough under the bottom of the ball. Repeat 5 times. On a smooth unfloured surface, roll the ball for about a minute. The dough should be smooth and firm. Cover the ball with a damp towel for 1 more hour.
5. Now you are ready to cook, or you can wrap the dough in plastic and refrigerate for up to two days. Remember: wasted pizza dough is a terrible thing.
COBB SALAD
When it comes to cutting carbs but amping up protein, fat, and veggies, the Cobb Salad is tough to beat. We have two important things to say: First, do not pour sweet salad dressing on your Cobb if you are trying to go low carb; we go with blue cheese or another more savory dressing. Second, if you are going to make this dish, you might as well know who Cobb was. The salad innovator was named Bob Cobb and he was, like us, from L.A., where he co-owned the city’s legendary Brown Derby restaurant chain. He allegedly invented the dish while creating a midnight snack to share with Sid Grauman, the owner of the famous Grauman’s Chinese Theater.
Yields 4 servings
2 cooked chicken breasts
3 hard-boiled eggs
6 strips cooked bacon, crisp
1 avocado
½ head lettuce, about 4 cups
1 bunch watercress
1 small bunch chicory, about 2½ cups
½ head romaine, about 2½ cups
2 medium tomatoes chopped, with interior seeds and juice removed
½ cup crumbled Roquefort cheese
2 tablespoons chopped chives
1. Cut the chicken, eggs, bacon, and avocado into strips or slices.
2. In a large mixing bowl, combine all the ingredients and toss. Dice the ingredients with a salad chopper.
3. Serve with a savory dressing of your choice.
SHRIMP PASTA
There is something about this combination that is a perfect union for me. I think the core ingredients—shrimp, garlic, butter, white wine, pasta—just mesh into one glorious explosion of taste. The ingredients are kind of like a perfect offensive line—each one doing its part for the meal. Okay, enough with questionable metaphors. Here’s the game plan:
Yields 2 servings
2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
2.5 tablespoons butter
Salt
2 large garlic cloves, minced
2 shallots, chopped
1 pound large raw shrimp, shelled and deveined
½ cup dry white wine, such as Sauvignon blanc
2 tablespoons finely chopped parsley
Black pepper
1 pound fresh spaghetti or linguine
1. Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil.
2. In a large sauté pan, heat the butter and olive oil over medium-high heat, until the butter is melted. Stir in the garlic and shallots and sauté the garlic for about a minute, until the garlic starts to brown.
3. Add the shrimp and the wine to the sauté pan. Stir, fully coating the shrimp in butter, oil, and wine.
4. Put the fresh pasta into the pot of boiling water.
5. Turn the heat up to high. Bring the sauce to a boil and keep it bubbling for 2 to 3 minutes.
6. Stir the shrimp, turning the shrimps over, and continue to cook on high heat for 1 more minute.
7. Drain the pasta.
8. Remove the pan from the heat. Sprinkle the shrimp with parsley, black pepper, and toss to combine, then plate over pasta.
GEOFF’S PERFECT PRE-WEDDING BAGEL
Because they pack so many carbs, I eat my bagels with discretion and discipline. While some people believe in the “closed” sandwich, this can lead to the contents of the bagel oozing out the sides. So the recipe below is for an open-faced bagel to minimize mess and maximize enjoyment. It was the last thing I ate as a single man, but you don’t need to be getting married in order to enjoy it.
Yields 1 serving
1 onion bagel, sliced in half
2 to 4 slices of smoked salmon (aka lox)
¼ cup cream cheese
1 red onion, thinly sliced
1 cucumber, thinly sliced
1. Toast both halves of the onion bagel.
2. Remove the bagel from the toaster or oven. Apply a healthy schmear of cream cheese to each half. Don’t overdo it; too much cream cheese will melt and run on a just-toasted bagel.
3. Add a layer of smoked salmon over the cream cheese. This is a strong salty fish, so go easy if this is new terrain. Or, if you are like me, pile on a few slices.
4. Place rings of onion and slices of cucumber over the lox.
5. Dig in.
FLANK STEAK WITH ROSEMARY AND GOAT CHEESE COMPOUND BUTTER, SERVED WITH BACON BRUSSELS SPROUTS
We love goat cheese. We love steak. We really love them together. This recipe should feed two, since flank steak is all meat and no bone
Yields 2 servings
2 ounces goat cheese
4 tablespoons (½ stick) salted butter
1 tablespoon rosemary
½ teaspoon salt
¼ teaspoon pepper
1 pound Brussels sprouts
3 to 4 bacon strips
1 small onion, diced
3 large garlic cloves, coarsely chopped
16 to 20 ounces flank steak
1. To make the compound butter: Bring the goat cheese and butter to room temperature. In a medium mixing bowl, mix the goat cheese, butter, rosemary, salt, and pepper until well combined. Roll the mixture into a log and wrap the log in plastic wrap. Place the log in the refrigerator until the log is hard.
2. To make the Brussels sprouts: Cut the ends off the sprouts. Slice each sprout in half and finely slice the sprouts into slivers, almost like a coleslaw but much thinner. In a skillet, cook the bacon over medium-high heat. Remove the bacon when done and set aside on a paper towel–lined plate to cool. In the skillet used to cook the bacon, add the onion and garlic, season with salt, and cook for 1 to 2 minutes. Add the Brussels sprouts, season with salt and pepper, and cook over medium-high heat for 15 to 20 minutes, until the vegetables are soft. Crumble the cooled bacon and add to the Brussels sprouts and stir until well combined.
3. Remove the compound butter from the refrigerator and set aside to soften. Heat a non-stick skillet over medium-high heat. Cook the steak for 4 to 6 minutes per side for medium-rare. Remove the steak from the skillet and place on a plate or cutting board to rest for 5 minutes. Season the meat with salt and pepper to taste, or season with Montreal steak seasoning for a nice flavor.
4. Top the steak with the goat cheese compound butter, plate, and enjoy.
NO-CARB DESSERT: CHOCOLATE BROWNIE QUEST BARS À LA CRÈME FOUETTÉE (THAT’S FRENCH FOR WHIPPED CREAM)
When I’m in training, and sticking to the no-carb diet that LeCharles has created for me—a diet that runs from March to September—dessert is only a theoretical construct for me. The one exception is this recipe, which I’ve given a fancy faux-French name but is really drop-dead simple. First, an unpaid note about Quest Nutrition protein bars: they have an extremely high amount of fiber. There are plenty of carbs in these bars, but the amount of fiber counter-balances things so that each bar has only about 3 net grams of carbs.
So bake these and eat them with whipped cream, because, believe it or not, whipped cream has no carbs.
Yields 2 servings
3 Quest Nutrition protein bars—or any bar with a high fiber content. (Two bars make a nice-size dessert for a 34
0-pound guy. So adjust accordingly.)
Whipped cream, from a can or homemade
1. Preheat the oven to 350°F. Place the protein bars in a baking dish and heat ’em up for 15 minutes.
2. Take the bars out of the oven, place on a dessert plate, and slather with whipped cream.
GEOFF’S DEEP-FRIED TURKEY
Everyone stresses about cooking turkey on Thanksgiving Day, but this recipe takes less than 90 minutes to get a bird on the table that is crispy on the outside and moist on the inside.
Makes 1 turkey
Deep fryer
Meat injector
13- to 15-pound turkey
Peanut oil
CREOLE-BUTTER SEASONING
2 tablespoons kosher salt
2 teaspoons garlic powder
2 teaspoons white pepper (black pepper will clog your injector)
2 teaspoons cayenne pepper
½ teaspoon onion powder
½ pound butter (2 sticks), melted
Dry rub (see here)
1. In a large bowl, mix all the Creole-Butter Seasoning ingredients together until well combined.
2. Inject the turkey with Creole-Butter Seasoning into each breast, thigh, leg, and wing.
3. Season the skin with the dry rub.
4. Deep-fry the turkey according to manufacturer’s instructions in peanut oil for 45 to 48 minutes. Remove the turkey, let drain, and serve.
GEOFF’S SMOKED RIBS
Smoked ribs are an ideal item for those days when you just want to hang around the house with family and friends. I love creating everything-but-the-kitchen-sink dry rubs beforehand. Then I do the prep work, and then just let time and low heat work their magic. You’ll have plenty of time to make some side dishes and chill with your people.
Some days I might add extra dry spices to the rub, other times I’ll add barbecue sauce to the mix and throw in some honey. But this recipe gets down to basics: meat, spices, and smoke.
5 pounds beef ribs
Dry rub
½ cup paprika
¼ cup black pepper
¼ cup chili power
¼ cup brown sugar
2 tablespoons white sugar
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1 teaspoon onion powder
¼ cup salt
1 tablespoon celery salt
1 teaspoon rosemary
1 teaspoon dried mustard
1 teaspoon cumin
1 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1. In a medium mixing bowl, mix the dry rub ingredients until well combined.
2. Knead the dry rub onto the ribs and let it sit for about an hour in the fridge.
3. Place mesquite wood in the smoker and preheat to 225°F. Put the meat on and add a pan of water on the grill to add some moisture. Let the ribs smoke for about 4 hours. You can leave ’em on longer if the ribs are particularly meaty.
SLOW COOKER TURKEY MEATBALLS
This is a time-consuming recipe. We recommend it for those days when you are home watching football.
Makes 8 meatballs
1 pound lean ground turkey meat
¾ cup bread crumbs
½ cup grated Parmigiano cheese
1 egg
3 tablespoons milk
1 teaspoon salt
½ teaspoon black pepper
1 medium jar of tomato sauce
10 leaves of basil
1. In a large bowl, mix the turkey, bread crumbs, cheese, egg, and milk together with salt and black pepper until well combined. Form 8 equal-size meatballs.
2. In a skillet, cook the meatballs over medium heat so that the sides are slightly brown and the meatballs are rigid and set, about 1 minute per side.
3. Line the bottom of a slow cooker with a bit of sauce and add the meatballs. Cover the meatballs with a little bit of sauce on each, but not too much. Cook on high for about 3 hours (times vary based on slow cooker size).
4. Take the meatballs out of the slow cooker, place in bowl, and cover to let sit. Pour the sauce into a sauté pan and simmer until the sauce thickens, stirring frequently.
5. Roll the basil leaves and thinly slice the leaves for a chiffonade. Serve the meatballs with sauce ladled over the top of each. Top the meatballs with the basil. These meatballs can be served with pasta, but usually we just eat the meatballs as is.
Brotherly love. (Courtesy of Olivia Goodkin and Lee Schwartz)
In the beginning … (John Solano Photography)
Big shoes to fill! (Courtesy of Olivia Goodkin and Lee Schwartz)
First school, then football. (Courtesy of Olivia Goodkin and Lee Schwartz)
Beyond the bay! (Courtesy of Olivia Goodkin and Lee Schwartz)
Can you believe we’re the same age? Geoff and friends horsing around … (Courtesy of Olivia Goodkin and Lee Schwartz)
Life is but a dream. (Courtesy of Olivia Goodkin and Lee Schwartz)
Always on defense! (Courtesy of Olivia Goodkin and Lee Schwartz)
It’s game day, Baby … (Courtesy of Olivia Goodkin and Lee Schwartz)
Boys will be boys! (Courtesy of Olivia Goodkin and Lee Schwartz)
Love at first sight … (Courtesy of Olivia Goodkin and Lee Schwartz)
It’s a family affair! (Courtesy of Olivia Goodkin and Lee Schwartz)
Show me the money! (Courtesy of Geoff Schwartz)
And then there were three! (Courtesy of Olivia Goodkin and Lee Schwartz)
Signed, sealed, delivered … (Courtesy of Olivia Goodkin and Lee Schwartz)
I am a Giant! (Courtesy of Olivia Goodkin and Lee Schwartz)
My biggest cheerleaders! (Courtesy of Olivia Goodkin and Lee Schwartz)
My future … (Courtesy of Mitch Schwartz)
There’s no “I” in team! (Courtesy of Olivia Goodkin and Lee Schwartz)
Injured but not out! (Courtesy of Geoff Schwartz)
The ultimate Super Bowl. (David Crane Photography)
Celebrate good times. (Courtesy of Olivia Goodkin and Lee Schwartz)
Wisdom always prevails (Courtesy of Olivia Goodkin and Lee Schwartz)
Touchdown in Love Town … (Courtesy of Mitch Schwartz)
Friends for life … (Courtesy of Olivia Goodkin and Lee Schwartz)
Watching film. (Courtesy of Geoff Schwartz)
Home-field advantage. (Courtesy of Geoff Schwartz)
Big and Tall. (Courtesy of Olivia Goodkin and Lee Schwartz)
Family, faith, and football. (Kambria Fischer Photography)
ABOUT THE AUTHORS
Detroit Lions offensive guard GEOFF SCHWARTZ was drafted by the Carolina Panthers in 2008 after anchoring the line at right tackle for three years with the Oregon Ducks. An eight-year NFL veteran, he signed with the Lions in 2016. You can sign up for email updates here.
Kansas City Chiefs offensive tackle MITCH SCHWARTZ earned All-Pac-12 Conference and Academic All-Conference honors at Cal-Berkeley. He was drafted by the Browns in 2012 and played every single offensive down while on the team. He joined the Chiefs in 2016. You can sign up for email updates here.
SETH KAUFMAN is the author of the acclaimed novels The King of Pain and Nuns with Guns. His writing has appeared in The New York Times, on NewYorker.com, and in other publications.
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CONTENTS
TITLE PAGE
COPYRIGHT NOTICE
DEDICATION
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
INTRODUCTION
WARM-UP
1. FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS: IT
ALL STARTS WITH A MEAL
FIRST DOWN
2. HIGH SCHOOL CONFIDENTIAL
3. THE QUARTERBACK SNEAK
4. DOUBLE MAJORS
SECOND DOWN
5. THE CHOSEN ONES: GETTING DRAFTED
6. LEARNING THE ROPES
7. ROOKIES AND RELIGION
THIRD DOWN
8. MY BROTHER’S KEEPER
9. RAISING ARIZONA AND MASTERING THE BODY
10. THE BRUNCH OF INFAMY
TOUCHDOWN
11. GETTING SEASONED
12. THE STREAK: STAYING IN SHAPE AND DECOMPRESSING
13. GETTING BETTER (SORT OF) ALL THE TIME
14. POSTGAME HIGHLIGHTS
EXTRA POINTS
15. TWO-MINUTE DRILLS—QUICK TAKES ON LIFE IN THE NFL
16. DINNER WITH THE SCHWARTZES
POSTGAME DINING
PHOTOGRAPHS
ABOUT THE AUTHORS
COPYRIGHT
EAT MY SCHWARTZ. Copyright © 2016 by Geoffrey Schwartz and Mitchell Schwartz. All rights reserved. For information, address St. Martin’s Press, 175 Fifth Avenue, New York, N.Y. 10010.