The Adventures of Ferdinand Count Fathom — Volume 01

by T. Smollett

  CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

  THE BITER IS BIT.

  Yet, he had no sooner committed his effects to the care of thistriumvirate, than his fancy was visited with direful warnings, whichproduced cold sweats and palpitations, and threw him into such agonies ofapprehension as he had never known before. He remembered the formerdesertion of the Tyrolese, the recent villany of the solicitor, andrecollected the remarks he had made upon the disposition and character ofhis valet, which evinced him a fit companion for the other two.

  Alarmed at these reflections, he entreated the bailiff to indulge himwith a visit to his own lodgings, and even offered one hundred guineas asa gratification for his compliance. But the officer, who had formerlylost a considerable sum by the escape of a prisoner, would not run anyrisk in an affair of such consequence, and our hero was obliged to submitto the tortures of his own presaging fears. After he had waited fivehours in the most racking impatience, he saw the attorney enter with allthe marks of hurry, fatigue, and consternation, and heard him exclaim,"Good God, have you seen the gentleman?"

  Fathom found his fears realised in this interrogation, to which heanswered in a tone of horror and dismay, "What gentleman? I suppose I amrobbed. Speak, and keep me no longer in suspense." "Robbed!" cried theattorney, "the Lord forbid! I hope you can depend upon the person youempowered to receive your jewels and cash? I must own his proceedingsare a little extraordinary; for after he had rummaged your scrutoire,from which, in presence of me and your servant, he took one hundred andfifty guineas, a parcel of diamond rings and buckles, according to thishere inventory, which I wrote with my own hand, and East India bonds tothe tune of five hundred more, we adjourned to Garraway's, where he leftme alone, under pretence of going to a broker of his acquaintance wholived in the neighbourhood, while the valet, as I imagined, waited for usin the alley. Well, sir, he stayed so long, that I began to be uneasy,and at length resolved to send the servant in quest of him, but when Iwent out for that purpose, deuce a servant was to be found; though I inperson inquired for him at every alehouse within half a mile of theplace. I then despatched no less than five ticket porters upon the scentafter them, and I myself, by a direction from the bar-keeper, went toSignior Ratchcali's lodgings, where, as they told me, he had not beenseen since nine o'clock in the morning. Upon this intimation, I camedirectly hither, to give you timely notice, that you may without delaytake measures for your own security. The best thing you can do, is totake out writs for apprehending him, in the counties of Middlesex,Surrey, Kent, and Essex, and I shall put them in the hands of trusty anddiligent officers, who will soon ferret him out of his lurking-place,provided he skulks within ten miles of the bills of mortality. To besure, the job will be expensive; and all these runners must be paidbeforehand. But what then? the defendant is worth powder, and if we canonce secure him, I'll warrant the prosecution will quit cost."

  Fathom was almost choked with concern and resentment at the news of thismischance, so that he could not utter one word until this narrative wasfinished. Nor was his suspicion confined to the Tyrolese and his ownlacquey; he considered the solicitor as their accomplice and director,and was so much provoked at the latter part of his harangue, that hisdiscretion seemed to vanish, and, collaring the attorney, "Villain!" saidhe, "you yourself have been a principal actor in this robbery." Thenturning to the bystanders, "and I desire in the King's name that he maybe secured, until I can make oath before a magistrate in support of thecharge. If you refuse your assistance in detaining him, I will makeimmediate application to one of the secretaries of state, who is myparticular friend, and he will see justice done to all parties."

  At mention of this formidable name, the bailiff and his whole family werein commotion, to obstruct the retreat of the lawyer, who stood aghast andtrembled under the grasp of our adventurer. But, soon as he foundhimself delivered from this embrace, by the interposition of thespectators, and collected his spirits, which had been suddenly dissipatedby Fathom's unexpected assault, he began to display one art of hisoccupation, which he always reserved for extraordinary occasions. Thiswas the talent of abuse, which he poured forth with such fluency ofopprobrious language, that our hero, smarting as he was, and almostdesperate with his loss, deviated from that temperance of behaviour whichhe had hitherto preserved, and snatching up the poker, with one strokeopened a deep trench upon the attorney's skull, that extended from thehind head almost to the upper part of the nose, upon each side of whichit discharged a sanguine stream. Notwithstanding the pain of thisapplication, the solicitor was transported with joy at the sense of thesmart, and inwardly congratulated himself upon the appearance of his ownblood, which he no sooner perceived, than he exclaimed, "I'm a dead man,"and fell upon the floor at full length.

  Immediate recourse was had to a surgeon in the neighbourhood, who, havingexamined the wound, declared there was a dangerous depression of thefirst table of the skull, and that, if he could save the patient's lifewithout the application of the trepan, it would be one of the greatestcures that ever were performed. By this time, Fathom's first transportbeing overblown, he summoned up his whole resolution, and reflected uponhis own ruin with that fortitude which had never failed him in theemergencies of his fate. Little disturbed at the prognostic of thesurgeon, which he considered in the right point of view; "Sir," said he,"I am not so unacquainted with the resistance of an attorney's skull, asto believe the chastisement I have bestowed on him will at all endangerhis life, which is in much greater jeopardy from the hands of the commonexecutioner. For, notwithstanding this accident, I am determined toprosecute the rascal for robbery with the utmost severity of the law;and, that I may have a sufficient fund left for that prosecution, I shallnot at present throw away one farthing in unnecessary expense, but insistupon being conveyed to prison without farther delay."

  This declaration was equally unwelcome to the bailiff, surgeon, andsolicitor, who, upon the supposition that the Count was a person offortune, and would rather part with an immense sum than incur theignominy of a jail, or involve himself in another disgraceful lawsuit,had resolved to fleece him to the utmost of their power. But, now theattorney finding him determined to set his fate at defiance, and toretort upon him a prosecution, which he had no design to undergo, beganto repent heartily of the provocation he had given, and to thinkseriously on some method to overcome the obstinacy of the incensedforeigner. With this view, while the bailiff conducted him to bed inanother apartment, he desired the catchpole to act the part of mediatorbetween him and the Count, and furnished him with proper instructions forthat purpose. Accordingly the landlord, on his return, told Fathom thathe was sure the solicitor was not a man for this world; for that he hadleft him deprived of his senses, and praying to God with great devotionfor mercy to his murderer. He then exhorted him, with many protestationsof friendship, to compromise the unhappy affair by exchanging releaseswith the attorney before his delirium should be known, otherwise he wouldbring himself into a most dangerous premunire, whether the plaintiffshould die of his wound, or live to prosecute him for assault. "And withregard to your charge of robbery against him," said he, "as it is no morethan a base suspicion, unsupported by the least shadow of evidence, thebill would be thrown out, and then he might sue you for damages. Itherefore, out of pure friendship and good-nature, advise you tocompromise the affair, and, if you think proper, will endeavour to bringabout a mutual release."

  Our hero, whose passion was by this time pretty well cooled, saw reasonfor assenting to the proposal; upon which the deed was immediatelyexecuted, the mediator's bill was discharged, and Ferdinand conveyed inan hackney-coach to prison, after he had empowered his own landlord todischarge his servants, and convert his effects into ready money. Thus,he saw himself, in the course of a few hours, deprived of his reputation,rank, liberty, and friends; and his fortune reduced from two thousandpounds to something less than two hundred, fifty of which he had carriedto jail in his pocket.

  END OF VOL. I.

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