Paying the Price

by Maria Quick

  And I thought I had it tough. Poor Leesha. Might not like her, but I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.

  ‘Do you know what happened that night?’ I asked her.

  ‘She didn’t tell you?’ she said a little sarcastically.

  ‘No, that’s the problem. She did tell me, but I think she lied. I think she’s trying to pin it on David to protect her mom.’

  ‘Who’s David?’

  ‘Like I said, it’s a long story. And your boss probably thinks you’ve had about eight cigarettes by now,’ I pointed out.

  With a jolt, she looked back at her workplace and remembered where she was and who she was talking to.

  ‘Why a law firm, anyway?’

  ‘I want to go law school.’

  ‘Why do you want to go law school?’

  ‘To become a lawyer,’ she sighed, irritated. I could see this was going to be a long and fruitless conversation. I gave up with the small talk.

  ‘Cool story. Look, will you come by my place later? I’ll explain it all then, and hopefully Leesha will be there and I can talk sense to her through you.’

  I could see her wavering, but I think she was still put off.

  ‘If she’s there, you can ask me things I won’t know to prove it’s her.’

  ‘Only if she plays ball, though,’ George coughed.

  ‘Shut up, George,’ I told him.

  If she wasn’t put off before, she was now. She charged past me and ran into the safety of her law firm.

  ‘Smooth,’ he said.

  We were lucky in that the entire street was devoid of people, so I could bicker with him and not look totally insane.

  ‘It was only a matter of time. I’m blaming you for that, though,’ I sulked.

  ‘Thanks. You think she’ll come tonight?’

  ‘Sure. She might not believe me about you guys, but I’m the only one who suspects her mom. She’ll come for that alone.’

  ‘And what if Leesha decides she isn’t going to play?’ he went on. ‘Or even worse, she doesn’t turn up at all?’

  I admit, the thought of faking it crossed my mind, but only briefly. It wouldn’t exactly get me far. And it would probably be what she was expecting, anyway. To be honest, if Leesha didn’t turn up, it’d probably go in my favor. We’d have to work this together, without the help of the spirit world.

  It’d be interesting, for a start.

  ‘I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. I think that actually went well,’ I said, changing the subject to a more positive note.

  ‘Yeah, it did. It only means that tonight has to go doubly worse to make up for it.’

  He was right about that. The second I turned around, the pizza place closed.

  19

  My room was tidy and clean, I was wearing clothes that were not sweatpants, and I’d even showered. I’d casually told my shell-shocked dad and a very hungover Theo that a friend might be stopping by later. All that was left to do was wait.

  Still no Leesha.

  I was starting to get a little nervous. What if she didn’t show? I’d put myself out there and it’d be all for nothing. Zainab was expecting me to fail. If Leesha didn’t show, I didn’t think I could take the embarrassment.

  At this point, I was hoping Zainab wouldn’t show, either.

  ‘Stop it,’ George said, watching me twiddle my thumbs.

  ‘I’m not doing anything.’

  ‘You are. You’re all twitchy and anxious. It’s like you’re waiting for a date or something.’

  ‘I am waiting for a date. Kinda. Look, she’s the first “friend” I’ve had over,’ I mumbled pathetically.

  ‘What? Like, ever?’

  ‘Well, since my age reached double digits, yeah.’

  He gave me a look.

  ‘Oh, that’s sad.’

  ‘I know!’

  My heart stopped as the doorbell rang. And then picked up again, twice the speed. I ran down the stairs as my dad answered the door. He still hadn’t recovered from the shock.

  ‘Hi, is Brianna there?’ I heard Zainab say.

  My dad looked up at me, confused, and turned back.

  ‘Yeah. You wanna come in?’

  ‘That’d be nice.’

  He watched her come in, probably expecting her to vanish any second. Just to be on the safe side, he quickly closed the door behind her. He looked her up and down, making a quick judgment. No extra head, a standard amount of limbs.

  His confusion deepened.

  ‘Hey, come on up. We’re just gonna be watching movies and talking about girl things, so-’

  ‘Sure! Have fun. Um, there are snacks in the kitchen,’ my dad informed us, thinking furiously as he headed back to Theo.

  I let Zainab think that my dad was weirder than me, and we headed into my room. I closed the door behind me and took a deep breath.

  ‘She’s not here yet,’ I told her apologetically.

  ‘Right.’

  ‘You wanna sit down?’ I asked, offering her a chair. She perched on the end of it, and I did the same. She made no move to take her jacket off.

  Silence.

  ‘Maybe you should tell her about Izzy?’ George prodded.

  ‘Oh, good idea!’ I said, startling her. ‘Okay, here’s the thing...’

  She remained quiet throughout my whole long-winded and disjointed explanation of a murder that happened over thirty years ago, with seemingly no relevance to anything. It took a few minutes before she was up to speed.

  ‘Right,’ she said again, eyes widening.

  I think she was beginning to regret coming here.

  ‘I know it’s a lot to take in, and you’re totally free to leave,’ I assured her. She immediately stood up.

  ‘No, wait! Don’t leave, I need you,’ I panicked. ‘I am not making this up, I promise. Leesha will be here any second, and I’ll be able to prove it then, okay? Honest.’

  She dithered, caught between catching her friend’s killer and being away from me. Then, her eyes fell on something on my dresser and she hardened.

  ‘What are those?’

  I didn’t bother looking, I already knew.

  ‘I’ve gone back to therapy. Tess is making me take pills. Needless to say, they haven’t worked.’

  ‘I knew this was a mistake,’ she sighed, heading for the door.

  ‘Zainab, wait! Can you stay until Leesha comes? You were her friend. You wouldn’t be here if you didn’t think this would help her, right?’

  ‘Ooh, emotional blackmail. I was wondering when that would make an appearance,’ George whistled.

  Hey, it worked. The door stayed closed and she perched back on the chair’s edge.

  Our old buddy Silence returned.

  ‘Do you know what happened the night she was killed?’ I asked, cutting a knife right through that.

  ‘Don’t you?’

  ‘Like I told you, I’m pretty sure she lied. She told me she was on a date with some guy, and then her mom... where are you going?’ I asked sharply, as she jumped up again and stomped over to the door.

  ‘This was definitely a mistake,’ she snapped.

  ‘Why? What just happened?’ I pleaded, completely taken aback by her sudden 180.

  She gave me a look of utter loathing before yanking the door open.

  ‘Leesha’s gay.’

  And as luck would have it, Leesha finally turned up outside my bedroom. Of course, Zainab didn’t see that.

  ‘Oh my God,’ said her friend, appalled by the scene in front of her.

  Okay, Leesha lied about her date. I can deal with that. I recovered quickly enough to catch Zainab before she reached the stairs.

  ‘Wait! She’s here. She heard you. You just walked right through her.’

  ‘Of course I did,’ she replied, not even turning a smidge.

  ‘No, wait! Ask me something. Ask me anything,’ I said. Although, Leesha was in pretty bad shape. I wasn’t even sure if she’d speak to me again. George was attempting to comfort her, but he gave
me a helpless shrug.

  At least her friend wanted to play ball. Zainab stopped at the top of the stairs and sighed.

  ‘Alright. Who was my first crush?’

  ‘Leesha?’ I asked, turning back to her.

  She shook her head, hand firmly over her mouth.

  ‘Leesha, please. She’s here to help you. That’s all she wants. We know that David didn’t kill you. We think it was your mom. I don’t know how Izzy made you do this, but she doesn’t matter. The only way you’re going to move on from this place is if the truth comes out,’ I explained, a little forcefully.

  ‘She’s right, Leesha. I’ve been here six months. Izzy’s been stuck for four decades. You wanna be like us?’ George asked quietly.

  Come on, Leesha. I willed her to do the right thing – for me, anyway. It’d certainly save me a lot of grief in the long run. She took her time, though. I felt like I was going to throw up right there and then in the hallway, and I wasn’t only blaming the pills. Man, stress eats you right up from the inside.

  ‘Mr. Samuels,’ she finally whispered.

  ‘Mr. Samuels,’ I relayed to Zainab. She’d been about to take the first step down but she froze. I took that as a good sign.

  ‘Who is he?’ I asked Leesha. Give me the good deets.

  ‘Kindergarten teacher. She fell over one day and hurt her knee. He put a Band-Aid on it. It had a picture of a princess on it, so he said that made her a princess, too.’

  Calling her a princess? Wow, that is a good first step for any guy.

  ‘Kindergarten teacher, really? I think I had those same princess Band-Aids. My dad said I was a princess, too,’ I mused. I bet they all say that.

  Zainab slowly sat herself down on the floor. I was glad to see that she also stepped away from the staircase. I did not want another lucy on my hands. Especially since Leesha was still talking about Mr. Samuels. It was probably the safest thing for her to talk about.

  ‘He was bald and middle-aged and had sixteen ferrets as pets?’ I interrupted her, shooting her a weird look. ‘Boy, is he still single?’

  Her surely snarky reply was interrupted by a sudden wail of despair.

  It was Zainab. She was crying.

  Oh, nuts.

  I have made tons of people cry in my lifetime. I see it as one of my great skills in life, along with ruining lives and generally being able to piss absolutely anybody off. The thing is, those people deserved it, and I had no interest in comforting them, so I never discovered how to stop the tears.

  Um, help?

  ‘Give her a hug!’ George advised, seeing my predicament.

  ‘You want a hug?’ I asked her.

  ‘Don’t ask, just do it!’

  And wait for a lawsuit to turn up at my door? No, thanks.

  She shook her head vigorously anyway, tears drenching the floor. Alarmed by the noise, my dad bounded up the stairs to look at me standing over a crying woman. He looked resigned, as though he’d known that this was somehow my plan from the beginning.

  ‘She had a bad breakup,’ I lied.

  ‘Is that true?’ he asked her gently.

  She managed to nod, quickly wiping her eyes a little and breathing deeply.

  ‘Yeah, it’s true. We’re just going to go talk,’ I managed to hear through more tears. She headed into my room, with Leesha and George quickly behind her.

  I smiled at my dad and threw him a thumbs up as I pretended I didn’t hear her loud sobs. See, Dad? I knew how to friend!

  He backed away downstairs, leaving me free to follow Zainab and the lucies, knowing that I was not about to enjoy the next couple hours.

  20

  Zainab had finally stopped crying. She’d actually taken so long that I’d had time to go grab the earlier advertised snacks. I’d pushed a bag of Skittles in front of her, and the tears had dried as the bag had gotten lighter. A few sips of soda later, and she was ready to talk.

  Thankfully, so was Leesha.

  ‘I’m sorry I lied,’ she mumbled, crossing her legs tightly and shrinking a little. We’d wordlessly decided to sit in a circle on my floor, with the Skittles and other food in the middle of the summoning ritual. I hoped my dad didn’t come in.

  ‘David didn’t kill you.’

  ‘No, he didn’t.’

  Great. It was one thing suspecting something, but to have it confirmed is totally different.

  Zainab looked up at me and gulped.

  ‘Where is she?’

  ‘On your left,’ I said. Leesha gave her a small smile.

  ‘Was it her mom? Was it your mom?’ she asked, bravely talking to nothing.

  ‘It’s complicated,’ Leesha said.

  I repeated it for Zainab’s benefit. She growled.

  ‘Stop protecting her. She never cared about you, Leesha. She never listened to you. She didn’t care about what you wanted. She was forcing you to study medicine, remember?’

  ‘She was doing what’s best for me,’ Leesha mumbled. It sounded like she’d said that to herself so much, she almost believed it. Since I was going to be a literal medium here for the time being, I opted to simply speak as Leesha, word for word.

  Zainab’s fury grew.

  ‘No, she wasn’t! She was doing what’s best for her, and you know it. She wanted you to become a doctor so she could look good.’

  ‘She wanted me to have the best start in life,’ Leesha said, her voice growing shakier by the minute.

  ‘She wanted me to have the best-’

  ‘Stop saying that!’ Zainab screeched. All three of us flinched.

  ‘She was my mom!’ Leesha screamed back.

  ‘She was my mom!’ I shrugged, screaming too. Why should everyone else have the fun?

  ‘And she hated you!’

  Leesha did that thing that lucies do when they’re upset and can’t cry. They make a weird heavy breathing noise, like they’re trying to do the action but nothing’s coming. Sounds like you’re trying to go 95 in first gear.

  Freaks me the hell out.

  ‘What’s happening?’ Zainab asked quietly, unnerved.

  ‘She’s wheezing,’ I replied, describing it the best I can.

  ‘Huh?’

  ‘They can’t cry.’

  Heartbroken for her friend, she reached out an arm to comfort her before remembering she wasn’t actually physically there. Embarrassed, she let her arm flop back harmlessly to the ground, hoping nobody saw.

  But we all did.

  ‘Leesh, listen to me. She didn’t want what was best for you. You don’t need me to tell you that. You already know.’

  ‘She was my mom,’ Leesha said.

  ‘Was,’ I emphasized.

  She looked up at me and glared.

  ‘She loved me.’

  ‘No, she hated you. You just didn’t know it then.’

  She wheezed again. That was getting old.

  ‘I know you’re going through a lot here, but the longer you leave it, the worse it’ll be,’ I told her bluntly. ‘You’re here, as a ghost, because you want something. I’m assuming it’s to do with your mom. I’m guessing you want her to pay.’

  ‘No, I can’t do that. I can’t.’

  ‘Then, why tell me about Mr. Samuels?’ I asked. ‘You could’ve made me look like an idiot in front of Zainab and talked to me afterward, but you didn’t. Why?’

  ‘She was my mom!’

  ‘She gave birth to you, we get it. It doesn’t mean she loves you. She is out there right now, crying crocodile tears and mourning somebody who never actually existed. Zainab is here, talking to thin air even though she hates my guts, because she cares. She loves you.’

  It was hard, but I think my words eventually got through to her. She nodded, finally stopping that godforsaken sound.

  ‘I don’t hate your guts,’ Zainab mumbled, before adding, ‘not anymore.’

  Gee, thanks.

  ‘Great. Leesha? You ready to talk now?’

  ‘Yeah. I’m so sorry.’

  ‘It’s alright.
It’s difficult. When you were describing how “David” killed you, were you talking about your mom?’

  ‘Yes.’

  Finally, an actual, bona fide admission. We were getting somewhere, at long last.

  ‘What happened that night?’

  She reached out for the chips in the middle before correcting herself, frowning.

  ‘I’d told her I was at a study group. She didn’t approve of me dating.’

  ‘Girls, or just in general?’

  ‘In general,’ she sighed. ‘She didn’t know then.’

  Ah.

  ‘Anyway, she found out that I was at Leo’s instead. She’d put a tracker app on my cell. I have like, a million apps so I didn’t even notice it. She came charging in, all guns blazing, and sees me having a drink with a friend. Then, she sees that we’re holding hands.’

  She screwed her eyes closed and gulped as I gave a quick rundown to Zainab. It seemed about what she’d expected.

  ‘It was the final straw, for her and me. She started yelling at me and trying to drag me out, calling me everything. Andy was trying to help me, and then she started in on her, too. Calling her the same things. Spitting at her. That was the first time I actually realized that she never treated me like a daughter. She treated me like she treated everyone else. Like crap. I blew up in her face. I told her she was a terrible mother. I said other things but I forget what. I just remember screaming. I apologized to Andy, and then ran out of there. My mom ran after me. I was planning on going home, grabbing a bag and heading to yours,’ she said to Zainab. ‘I just never got there in time.’

  Heavy stuff. Yikes, her mom was a bigger bitch than I’d thought. I told Zainab the gist, and she started crying again at that last part.

  ‘She killed you for being gay?’

  ‘Yeah. She walked away from my body like it was trash and went home to watch TV.’

  Mom of the year. That was one coldhearted woman. If she could kill her own kid without flinching, and then act so upset over it that the cops didn’t question her, then my job just got a whole lot harder. My usual tactic of being annoying probably wouldn’t work here. I was going to need that one thing that eluded me more than a healthy lifestyle.

  Evidence.