Paying the Price

by Maria Quick

  ‘I’m so sorry, Leesha. This should never have happened,’ Zainab sobbed. Yeah, yeah. Save it for another time, sister. We got a killer to catch.

  ‘Okay, I need to get in touch with Andy,’ I said, reaching for my notebook. ‘How do I do that?’

  ‘I don’t know,’ Leesha shrugged lamely.

  ‘What’s her last name?’

  ‘I don’t know,’ she repeated.

  ‘You don’t know Andy’s last name?’ I frowned. Even Zainab thought that was weird.

  ‘No, I didn’t get a chance to ask. I only met her two days earlier. It was our first date.’

  Still a better first date than any I’ve ever had. Mainly because they’re nonexistent. Pretty sure that when I have my first date, it would somehow end even worse than Leesha’s. Maybe in my date’s murder.

  Yeah, that seems depressingly probable.

  ‘I’m guessing you had her number, though?’

  ‘Yeah, and the cops took my cell.’

  ‘Do you have an eidetic memory?’

  ‘What do you think?’

  Um, nope?

  ‘Do you have her on Facebook, Twitter or Insta? Do you know where she works? Did she mention any identifiable things at all?’ I listed, growing more and more hopeless as she shook her head to each one.

  ‘I’m sorry, I know nothing.’

  ‘How did you even meet her?’ I asked, exasperated.

  ‘At a party,’ Zainab answered, startling me. ‘One of the guys in my class was turning twenty one. He was pretty rich, like you, and he was friendly with a lot of people. He invited my whole class to his party, along with all his old school friends and fencing friends and riding friends- lot of people, basically. Over two hundred, definitely. I didn’t really want to go on my own, so I invited Leesha. I think a lot of people did a similar thing.’

  Which meant a loud, confusing atmosphere with friends of friends mixing and mingling, nobody really knowing who anyone was. Perfect.

  I was beginning to think that Andy didn’t want to be found.

  No, come on, Mendes. Stop being so blue.

  ‘Would you be able to ask around your buddies to see who knows her?’ I instructed Zainab.

  ‘I guess, but I don’t even know what she looks like.’

  ‘Leesha?’

  She looked me up and down, frowning.

  ‘Kinda like you, actually. If you, um...’

  ‘If I what?’ I asked a little sharply.

  ‘Wear makeup, dress like a girl. You know, feminize,’ she shrugged halfheartedly.

  Feminize? What the hell did that even mean?

  As George snickered, I looked down at my yoga pants, which admittedly, weren’t a great improvement over sweatpants. I was also wearing a shapeless hoody and I wasn’t completely certain that I’d washed my hair with shampoo recently.

  Okay, I got what she meant.

  ‘What have I missed?’ Zainab asked.

  ‘She said she looks a little like me, if I was girly,’ I scoffed, only semi-offended. Hey, truth hurts. I’ve said it myself plenty of times.

  Zainab looked at my face and did not have an overly positive reaction, if I’m honest. We were both thinking the same thing.

  Leesha had really poor taste.

  21

  It wasn’t until Zainab had tearfully left that I remembered something that had been bothering me.

  ‘Where does David come into this?’

  ‘David?’ Leesha asked, before the fog cleared. ‘Oh, I’d almost forgotten. Um, he found my body and tried to save me.’

  ‘He did what?’ I asked, certain I’d misheard. Wasn’t this the guy she accused of murder?

  ‘Yeah, I know. He heard the struggle and ran into the alley. My mom just stormed past him. He attempted CPR and called an ambulance. He was panicking like mad. If I hadn’t just been killed, I would’ve felt sorry for him. Then, Izzy comes out of nowhere and starts yelling at me, saying she couldn’t believe he’d killed again. She was so forceful about it I almost believed her. I mean, I didn’t really believe her, but it was easier to go along with that than... well, you know.’

  ‘He tried to save you and you accused him of murder?’ I asked, disgusted. And it takes a lot to disgust me. I’m pretty much unshockable with the things I’ve seen.

  As I should’ve expected, she instantly tried to defend herself.

  ‘I was going through a lot, okay? I still am. I didn’t want to believe that my mom of all people-’

  ‘Okay, stop,’ I ordered. ‘Your mom was a terrible human being. You can’t be that dense to only just notice it. You don’t want to admit it to me, that’s fine. At least admit to yourself that you’ve known all along. And if you couldn’t admit that your mom killed you, that’s also fine. Just say you didn’t see who did it. How hard is that? Why did you have to play games with me?’

  And why play games with the poor guy who only tried to help? Sure, he might have killed Izzy, but that doesn’t mean you pin the blame on him for every single murder ever committed. Oh my God, I was so done with lucies.

  You know, you try to help. You keep an open mind, you put yourself out there and look like an idiot, and it’s all for them. You’ll never be thanked, because once they’ve got what they want they are outta here. They don’t usually see the blowback I have to deal with, after they’ve gone and all their lies have come out. Except this time, a lucy will.

  Because I’ve already told a cop that David did it.

  Right now, Rathers will be poring through Izzy’s case file, finding something that’ll stick. Or worst case scenario, he’s already knocking on David’s door. You think a guy like David will keep cool under pressure? Because I sure as heck don’t. He’ll fold, admit to killing Izzy and will be arrested. Chuck will get out of jail after serving thirty years for a crime he didn’t commit. There’ll be a huge scandal, and some good names of cops will be tarnished. Maybe a couple will even be fired. Chuck will definitely want compensation, and will sue the department for millions. He’ll probably win. Rathers will absolutely throw me in the can, and if he can’t find a crime to pin on me, he’ll probably just shoot me himself.

  Everybody affected by this will end up a little bit worse. And it’ll all be my fault.

  Well, it’ll be the lucies’ fault, but I can’t exactly blame them, can I? The dead guys aren’t the ones bearing the brunt of this.

  I am.

  ‘I said I was sorry. It was a mistake, okay?’ Leesha snarled.

  And that made it all alright, didn’t it? Oh wait, it didn’t.

  ‘No, a mistake was heading down a dark alley at night. You purposely caused even more crap for me to deal with, for no reason. You know what I’m gonna have to do to fix this?’

  ‘No, what?’ she asked, a little abashed.

  ‘That’s just it. I don’t know! I have accused an innocent man of murder, and I can’t take that away.’

  If I retract what I said to Rathers, he’d be suspicious. Especially after the pains I’d gone to point out that I’d never been wrong once. Boy, had I been smug when I’d said that. He’d already half-suspected David, anyway. I’d just pushed him back into his mind.

  And ruined everything.

  ‘I mean, he wasn’t exactly innocent,’ piped up a voice, hell-bent on ruining things even more.

  I was wondering when George would speak up. He’d been hopping about, itching to defend Leesha, even though she was clearly in the wrong. Maybe it was a kindred spirit sorta thing. Them lucies gotta stick together, dontcha know?

  ‘George, don’t do this now. I’m mad. I have a migraine. I wanna vom.’

  ‘Fine, I get that. Just don’t take it out on Leesha.’

  I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be mad at the person who caused me to be mad?

  ‘Who the hell do you want me to take it out on? Just because you’re dead, it doesn’t mean you get a free pass.’

  ‘You don’t know what it’s like on this side,’ he ranted, as I began to feel the pains in my stomach an
d head start to swirl. ‘You’re shoved into this half-life without any warning. You can’t say goodbye to anyone or try to change anything. We’re stuck relying on you.’

  ‘Yeah, exactly,’ I cut in. ‘So, why are you making my life more difficult? Is it because you can?’

  Is that all she was doing? Having a little fun before she goes for good, purely for her amusement? Well, that was good to know.

  ‘It’s because we’re not ready to go, Ann. We weren’t when we became lucies, and we’re still not. It’s hard to deal with, not like you’d ever know,’ he sneered.

  Sure, because my life is smooth, plain sailing. What is he even talking about? None of that makes up for the fact that Leesha lied. And that is my only rule for lucies; don’t lie to me.

  And they still do it. Every. Single. Time.

  And like a fool, I still believe them.

  ‘I’m going to bed,’ I decided. It was the only thing I’d been looking forward to this entire day.

  George let out a humorless laugh, shaking his head. He knew me well enough by now to know that I was not going to argue.

  ‘Alright. I guess I’ll go find Izzy,’ Leesha shrugged as I pulled my pajamas out and started to yawn.

  I stopped mid-yawn.

  ‘What? Why?’

  ‘Because I told her I’d give her daily updates? At least now I don’t have to. I was sick of lying. She can be a real piece of work. I’m glad that whole part’s over,’ she said, slowly dropping her carefree smile as I stared at her.

  ‘It’s not over?’ she deduced correctly.

  ‘Nope. You think it’s bad now? Wait until she thinks she’s lost control. She’ll be in your face 24/7. She’ll use anything she can against you. She did it to me. When I first met her as a kid and refused to help, she followed me for days calling me fat and ugly. Then, she did that again the next time. I wouldn’t put racism past her,’ I told her frankly, before shuddering. ‘And dear God, don’t tell her you’re gay. It’ll only give her more ammo.’

  Although, it would be a nice bit of déjà vu for her, being called the same things her mom called her only a few short weeks ago. Unsurprisingly, she shared my aversion and agreed that lying was the best course of action.

  Also unsurprisingly, George didn’t.

  ‘Wait, maybe that’s not the best idea.’

  ‘Of course it isn’t. We both agreed on it, so of course you won’t. Why not, George?’ I sighed.

  ‘Because Izzy wants David to go to jail. And I’m assuming your plan is to stop that, somehow? Why?’

  Oh, nuts. Of course, the main reason I was doing this in the first place. My head is all over the place recently with these pills. I can’t think straight. George is right. I can’t save David.

  As much as I want to, I can’t.

  I had to let it play out. I mean, I’d tell Rathers tomorrow that he didn’t kill Leesha, but no more than that. And hopefully I was right about David, and he’d immediately admit to Izzy’s murder. Because if he didn’t, I was going to have to push him. I really did not want to do that.

  ‘Keep it up for now,’ I told Leesha. She nodded in agreement, even as George scoffed.

  ‘You’re kidding me.’

  ‘No, I’m not. Don’t worry, you’ll get your wish. I’m not going to help David. I’ll leave him out to dry, purely to satisfy you and Izzy.’

  ‘He’s a killer, Ann. You can’t keep justifying what he did.’

  ‘Have you met Izzy?’ I asked.

  ‘Yes, and I’m not justifying what she did. He still didn’t have the right to take her life. Nobody did.’

  ‘Okay, I’ve heard all this before, so I’m gonna go. I’ll catch you tomorrow,’ Leesha said quietly, making her escape.

  Kinda hated her a little. I wished I could do that.

  ‘She was taking his life every single day,’ I blurted out, unable to simply ignore him.

  ‘And I’m not condoning that,’ he said.

  ‘You kinda are. You’re making him out to be the bad guy here. He was only defending himself.’

  ‘No, he wasn’t. He went to her house and killed her. That is murder, pure and simple.’

  Pure and simple was a good way of describing his inner thought process. You killed somebody? You’re a murderer. Doesn’t matter if you were a second away from killing yourself. I wonder what George would’ve thought if David had killed himself. Would he have then blamed Izzy? Or would David still be a murderer in his eyes?

  ‘You’re clutching at straws,’ I told him. ‘Izzy and Izzy’s murder completely destroyed David-’

  ‘How do you know? You’ve never actually met him.’

  ‘I’ve heard enough,’ I barked, gritting my teeth. Was he actually defending Izzy or just looking for a fight? I couldn’t tell.

  ‘Basing his guilt on hearsay, really?’ he frowned. ‘And another thing. Are you saying bullied kids get a free pass at murder?’

  He was using my words against me to prove... something. What is he trying to prove?

  ‘What is your point?’

  ‘You can’t justify a murder, Ann. No matter what excuse you use.’

  ‘Thanks for the info. I’m going to bed.’

  ‘He strangled her and left her for dead! He let somebody else take the blame and moved on with his life. That is unjustifiable, no matter what way you look at it.’

  ‘Even if you look at it with the truth?’

  ‘Murder is inexcusable. End of story. If you take a life, you’re the lowest of the low. I will never change my mind about this, no matter what reasons you come up with.’

  He thought he had the moral high ground, and nothing annoys me more. I was going to let him have it because I really needed to snooze. But moral high grounds are my biggest pet peeve. I brought up the only thing I could in the circumstances.

  ‘How do you feel about Hitler?’

  ‘What the hell?’ he cried, baffled. What? No reason that Godwin’s law can’t work in real life, too.

  ‘How do you feel about him?’

  ‘He is the most evil man in recent history, no doubt about it. Wait, no. I see where you’re going with this. Don’t you dare,’ he growled. Oh good. He was a history buff.

  ‘He most likely never killed a man himself. So, is he better or worse than David?’

  He was so mad his lips actually disappeared into his snarl.

  ‘You’re an asshole, you know that?’ he spat.

  ‘A very tired asshole,’ I told him sweetly. ‘I’m going to bed.’

  22

  ‘Izzy’s glad you’re making progress, at any rate. She’s been watching that Rathers guy since I told her last night. David doesn’t know anything yet. I’m guessing the cops are waiting until they find more evidence before they confront him. Lucky for us, anyway. It gives us a little more time. Uh, I followed Zany this morning before I got here, and she’s been making some calls to find Andy. So far, nothing,’ Leesha summed up, before giving us both a hard look. ‘Okay, what’s up with you two?’

  We were sitting on opposite sides of my room, arms folded and staring daggers at the walls. They say never go to sleep on an argument, and they were right. I’d spent the morning slamming doors and kicking inanimate objects, getting even more pleasure out of the fact that George couldn’t. He’d stuck to cursing and ranting. It had only made me even more violent, and then he’d gotten more verbally abusive in return. Eventually, we’d both grown so aggressive towards each other that silence was the only option.

  ‘Nothing,’ I said as calmly as possible. Naturally, I sounded like an ogre chewing gravel. ‘Ask him.’

  ‘Okay,’ Leesha said slowly, eyes rolling towards “him.”

  He mumbled something about Hitler. I narrowed my eyes at him. It went undetected, since he wasn’t looking. I hated that.

  ‘Y’all got deep issues,’ she decided, shaking her head. ‘Oh, before I forget. Rathers has been looking into the other killing at the library. Jessica, was it? He’s been making a couple calls to witne
sses. Just a heads up. I think he’s planning on dropping by or something.’

  ‘Great,’ I groaned.

  George managed to stop moping long enough to watch me grab my notebook. The curiosity got the better of him.

  ‘Why do you care? David didn’t even do it. Probably.’

  ‘I don’t care,’ I couldn’t help but sneer. ‘But it came up, and now I want to know.’

  He chuckled, turning back to the wall.

  ‘You care.’

  ‘No, I don’t!’

  I threw my pen at him, and he laughed even harder as it dinged harmlessly to the floor. I seethed.

  ‘Deep, deep issues,’ Leesha said. ‘I’ll catch you later.’

  ‘Where are you going?’

  ‘I am not staying here while you two are acting all crazy. I’ll go wander around, see if I can find Andy. Or catch up with my mom.’

  ‘You’re still watching your mom?’ I cringed.

  ‘I just wanna know if she feels any remorse, that’s all. I know she wasn’t the greatest mom in the world, but she was the only one I had. She’s gotta feel bad about what she did, right?’

  Neither of us answered, which was an answer in itself. She grumbled and left, deeply disturbed.

  ‘We’re not as bad as her, right?’ George asked.

  ‘Oh, hell no.’

  ‘Thank God. So, what’s the notebook for?’ he asked suspiciously. ‘They’re all your notes about Jessica. You do care, don’t you?’

  I was stopped from my indignant reaction by a phone call.

  Unknown number. That’s never good.

  I answered anyway. If I heard the words “seven days,” I was gonna throw it out the window.

  ‘Ms. Mendes,’ said a familiar exasperated voice.

  ‘Chief?’ I frowned. ‘How do you even have my number?’

  ‘You’re on the BMV.’

  Stupid government, monitoring my every move.

  ‘Right. What’s up?’ I asked, putting my cell on speaker so George didn’t have to phase through my ear.

  ‘I’ve been looking into this David Schaffer. Considering he supposedly killed somebody in a rage over thirty years ago, he’s been fairly quiet ever since. Not even a speeding ticket. I doubt he’s even jaywalked.’