The Dirty Version

by Hadley Quinn

  But telling Josh…I wasn’t sure if I could do that just yet. Chris was an ass, so why add him to my wonderful new relationship with Josh?

  After Damian walked me to my car and waited for me to drive away, I took a deep breath to relax. Anna’s obstinacy was starting to prick through my skin. I’d never seen Chris behave like he had. His power was mind games, nothing physical. I was glad he left as quickly as he did, but what if he truly did keep trying to find me?

  My paranoia got the better of me during my drive home. Even though Damian had assured me he would watch the parking lot and street for any cars that may try to follow, I was afraid he might have missed something.

  What if Chris was following me home?

  Every headlight behind me sent a shudder down my spine. It didn’t matter how far away the car was, I still zigzagged streets to lose them. I even got on the freeway and headed north, just to be sure. As I wasted time and gas trying to evade an invisible stalker, I became angry that I’d been subjected to such a thing.

  How fucking dare he try to wreak havoc on my life again!

  I finally made it home after two a.m., locked my door, and wondered if it was enough if someone tried to break in. Growling to myself, I stacked two boxes in front of the door with a glass barely balancing on the corner. At least I’d hear something break if anyone managed to open the door.

  “This is ridiculous.”

  After getting ready for bed, I sat on top of the covers with the light still on, staring at the wall. I had a book open, ready to read a chapter, but my mind was focused on Anna instead—the look in her eyes when I told her it was Chris. I’d never seen such darkness cloud her pretty blue orbs.

  And she’d called me twice since I’d left the restaurant. Called, not texted as usual, saying she wanted to make sure it was actually me responding to her texts and not some crazy ass abductor. When I asked why she would even consider that, she brushed it off as “you never know.”

  I got the disturbing feeling she’d had experience with menacing exes.

  ~

  Crash.

  The sound of breaking glass made me bolt upright in bed. It took all of two seconds to realize where it came from, and I jumped out of the covers, searching for a weapon of some sort. It was light out, obviously morning, but I was too rattled to check the time.

  I found a steak knife in the kitchen drawer and peeked around the corner. The glass was on the floor, broken, but the boxes were still in place. The only sound was my heart pounding in my ears until there was a knock and a male voice asked, “Jolie, are you okay? What broke? Jolie?”

  Harlan.

  I exhaled a sigh of relief and rushed to the door, scooting the boxes aside. I was careful to keep my bare feet away from the glass as I pulled the door open.

  “Hey, sorry,” I said, out of breath.

  Confusion was sketched across his face. “What broke? I knocked on the door and then heard breaking glass.” He paused with a wry smile. “You knew it was me and threw one at the door? I get that sometimes.”

  I released an uneasy chuckle and ushered him in.

  He scowled at the boxes partially against the door and the broken shards on the floor. “What am I missing?”

  The American voice of Harlan was back, and it made me smile. But he wouldn’t let the whole box ordeal go, so I had to explain.

  “So my knocking on the door jostled the glass enough, eh? Jolie, if you don’t feel safe, have maintenance add another deadbolt.”

  I shrugged it off. “I was only being overdramatic. Just a mix of things got me on edge. Um, anyway, what’d you need so early?”

  “Early? If eleven a.m. is early…”

  “Oh, jeez. Sorry, guess I didn’t realize how long I slept. I work pretty late sometimes.”

  He slowly nodded. “Yes, I hear when you come in.”

  “Sorry. I try to be quiet.”

  “Not your fault. The walls are thin. Anyway, I have a bit of a strange question to ask you…”

  Curiosity infused me. “Oh? What would that be?”

  He eyed my front room for a few seconds before facing me again. “I’d like to use your couch for a shoot.”

  I might have snorted. “What?”

  “Yes, you heard correctly. May I please use your couch for a shoot? It’s just…different…and I like it.”

  Okay, I’d picked it up from an elderly person’s estate sale. It was probably from the 1950s, red-orange in color, and basic in its squared design. I loved it, and it was perfect for my apartment, but I’d never dreamed anyone would find interest in it, too.

  “I guess so,” I answered. “If it works for you, go right ahead.”

  “Fantastic. Just a sec.” He immediately left my apartment.

  I took the opportunity to move the boxes and was starting to sweep up the broken glass when he returned with a male model. Harlan introduced him as Graham, so after basic greetings, I was told to go about my normal routine and ignore them.

  “Take off your shirt,” Harlan instructed him.

  Excuse me, ignore them?

  ~25~

  Not wanting to be a nuisance, I returned to my room to give them space. Okay, I spied on them from my room but still gave them space. Harlan had Graham sit on the couch, leaning back, looking away.

  Looking right at me. And he winked.

  Humiliated, I slipped behind my bedroom door to hide. I had no problem appreciating pretty things and people—I felt it was a compliment and everyone should be complimented—but I wasn’t comfortable being flirted with by anyone.

  Except Josh. He could flirt with me every damn day, and I would be an extremely satisfied woman. And his random texts were much appreciated, even when they were iniquitous.

  Like the one he sent me at work the night before: With all due respect, you are a non-stop cock tease. I need your naked body more than oxygen right now.

  Thinking about it got my heart racing all over again.

  Harlan and Graham were in my front room for thirty minutes before I started to get antsy. I was starving and needed to eat before running errands and heading to work. When I couldn’t hold off any longer, I ducked into the kitchen to grab something simple.

  Graham still had his shirt off, lying back on my couch, but I was truthfully more interested in listening to Harlan give him directions than the half-naked man in my living room. Harlan made it seem so simple. I’d never witnessed a photo shoot, so I was a slightly intrigued.

  Harlan told Graham to meet him back at his apartment for the black drop shots. Without a word, the guy left, checking himself out in the mirror on his way by.

  “Thank you so much, Jolie,” Harlan told me as he packed up the one light he’d brought with him. “That was perfect.”

  “Well, um, good. I’m glad.”

  “And when is it your turn?” he asked with a smile.

  I nearly choked on a sip of orange juice. “Never.”

  “And what are you afraid of?”

  I raised my eyebrows as a challenge but had no response.

  “Jolie-in-2C, maybe you should step outside the box a little bit.”

  “And for what reason? I’m not a model, and you sure as hell ain’t gonna be selling my photo to anyone.”

  “Meaning you think I can’t or that I’m not allowed?”

  The twisted smile on his face made me shake my head. “Both.”

  “Have a bit of faith in yourself, love. And me. Give me a chance to show you what I mean. If you don’t like it, I’ll delete everything.” I still wasn’t convinced. He could read my reluctance and changed his approach. “I get a lot of women who want to give their boyfriends and husbands something special for birthdays or other holidays. I’m sure your fella would appreciate something like that.”

  My mind immediately drifted to sexy lingerie poses, or worse, nudes. “No. I could never do something like that.”

  “Like what? Give him a nice photo to place at his bedside?”

  I eyed him cautiously. “Wh
at kind of ‘nice photo’ are you talking about?”

  He seemed to consider the question before realizing what I had in my mind. “Oh God, no, that’s not what I meant. I’m talking about something classy, elegant, something just lovely and nice.”

  “So…no underwear shots?”

  He laughed uneasily. “No, I had not even considered that.”

  “You don’t do shoots like that?”

  “Well, yes, I do. But that’s not what I had in mind for you.”

  “Yeah, no one wants to see me in my panties,” I joked dryly.

  “Ha, well, that’s absolutely not true,” he countered quickly. “Don’t sell yourself short. If you wanted to do something like that for your boyfriend, I’d be more than happy to help you with that. It’s not what I’ve been trying to talk you into, though.”

  I measured that carefully for a minute. I’d never really had professional photos done, and after a divorce and a new start, maybe it would be fun to do. I wanted to venture into new aspects of myself.

  And…I’d have something fun to share on my blog.

  “Okay, I’ll do it,” I agreed. “Just tell me what I need to do, and I’ll give it a shot.”

  He grinned, almost too excitedly. “Fantastic!”

  ~

  The more I wanted to see Josh, the more I hated my work hours. They were opposite his, and while he was finishing things up at his Sacramento facility before transferring full time to Berkeley, I barely saw much of him.

  I did, however, look forward to his texts every day. He’d send me anything from random photos with weird captions to sexts that aroused me and made me laugh at the same time.

  On the following Sunday, we had plans to spend the entire day together. It was also the first time I stepped foot inside his house, which was a nice three-bedroom with a den and separate TV room. The décor didn’t surprise me—very masculine with leather and neutral colors—but I really liked it. The kitchen was my favorite, maybe because I barely had one anymore, but it was casually elegant with cherry cabinets and granite countertops.

  And an island I fell in love with.

  We spent a lot of one-on-one time with each other that day. Literally one-on-one. His bedroom became my second favorite aspect of the house. And his bathroom counter. And his shower.

  Wow, the shower. I never imagined I could stand in a position like that. I was more flexible than I thought. And I’d also like to think I gave the best blowjob of my inexperienced life, but damn, Josh made it fun and enjoyable. I never thought I’d look forward to giving another one, but when you have a man who compliments all the things you do right, it makes a difference.

  Josh watched Freddi for a couple hours that afternoon, and when she left around four p.m., he collapsed on the couch. She was a little Tasmanian devil, but he handled her expertly. It was no wonder Luke and Claudia didn’t leave her with people for long. She truly was a fascinating child, but the kid scared me a little bit. I felt awful for thinking that, but I just wasn’t as used to her like her family was. I needed more time to familiarize myself with her personality.

  She did, however, send a video message to us through her mom’s phone, thanking Josh for letting her come over. We sent one back, letting her know we missed her already and couldn’t wait to see her again. Freddi’s smile was infectious. When she smiled, it was one-hundred-ten percent genuine, and there was no way you could ever not smile in return.

  “You want me to make you anything?” I asked Josh, trying to hide a smile. Apparently, the best way to keep Freddi out of trouble was by keeping her extremely busy. Josh had done that for two hours straight, and he looked like he’d played a full game of football.

  “I think I’m too exhausted to eat.”

  He scooted over so I had room to sit next to him. “Maybe we should start a movie and order pizza. Will that give you time to regain your strength?”

  He gave me a teasing smile. “Why, Ms. Chambers, are you hinting for what I think you’re hinting for?”

  I laughed but shook my head. “No, I actually wasn’t, but watching you wrangle Freddi has made me hungry, and I don’t think I want to wait for six o’clock dinner plans.”

  “It made you hungry, huh?” he chuckled. “It makes me question my stamina. And I don’t even mean anything sexual by that. But…if you want me to whip my dick out and let you go to town on your own…”

  I playfully pretended to ignore his crude humor and retrieved my phone, clicking open an app. “You just let me take over for now, m’kay? Because a happy Jolie means a happy Josh, and that involves food.”

  I wasn’t kidding. Lack of food turned me into another being.

  His phone rang, so while I ordered pizza online, I listened to Josh consult with a coworker about a client. Some pro basketball player, and it sounded like the guy was questioning the rehab program he’d been put on.

  “Then do as he wishes and send him to me,” Josh finally said. “I’ll just tell him the same exact thing.”

  He spoke parting words and hung up.

  “Whiny celebs thinking they know everything?” I joked.

  He smiled but agreed. “Thinks he’s ready to return, but he’s not. Patience is a hard concept for some athletes to grasp. They’re used to their bodies being performance machines, and when something goes wrong, they want to rush the healing process. They get anxious. Being down too long is a personal insult to some.”

  “Probably all they’re used to. Top-notch bodies make them the money.”

  “Exactly.”

  I chose a movie to watch, and just before the pizza arrived, my mind had wandered into the parenting and baby realm. I’m not sure why, but I imagined little ones crawling around on the carpet, playing with toys. Sundays would be family days where everyone was home, and the idea of dinners at the table and barbecues on the back patio made me feel a bit emotional.

  A hand touched my arm as Josh sat down beside me. A pizza box was on the coffee table in front of us.

  “Wow, where did your mind go, beautiful?”

  I blinked at the moisture in my eyes, glad Josh hadn’t noticed I was about to cry. What the hell was wrong with me?

  Getting up to fetch napkins and plates, I answered, “Nothing, I just like your carpet.”

  He didn’t respond until I returned to the couch. “You like my carpet?” He didn’t seem to believe me.

  “So, um, how old is Luke and Claudia’s little one?” I asked, pulling a slice onto my plate.

  Josh did the same. “Owen? He’s about nine months.”

  “How come you don’t watch him, too?”

  “Along with Freddi? Takes a two-person team. At least.”

  I nodded, feeling stupid. Of course. “Well…I’d watch him if they ever needed someone.”

  He set down the slice of pizza and eyed me. “Oh yeah? How come?”

  “Why do I have to have a reason? I’m sure having a break from Freddi now and then is nice, but what about the baby too?”

  It was his turn to shrug. “I’m sure you’re right. Freddi is such a handful that Owen is a piece of cake. They’re just used to lugging him around wherever they go.”

  I knew Claudia and Luke had gone to a coworker’s retirement party at Luke’s law firm. I could see how it was a good idea to leave Freddi behind. She hadn’t even been able to sit still long enough for a short children’s book.

  “Why the interest in Owen?” Josh asked.

  I tried to play it off as only being kind—which I was—but admitted to just loving kids. Josh gave me that look, like my maternal clock was ticking and I was going to demand his seed.

  “Well…cool,” he replied. “Me too. I don’t think I’d like dating someone who would rather throw a kid in the oven.”

  I laughed at the smile on his face, which caused me to remember why we became friends in the first place so many years ago. We were in the same literature class and sat next to each other. Fifth period had been my favorite hour of the day that fall.

  �
�That is a gruesome fairy tale,” I reiterated.

  “I know it. Some twisted individual actually thought that up.”

  “And you’re still glad I’m not a cannibalistic hag?” I joked, recalling something similar I’d said one day in class.

  “Soooo glad.” He kissed me on the temple with a comical smile.

  “I’m happy you have such high standards.”

  “Haha, well, I actually do. I’ve experienced the evil witch firsthand. I’ll pass.”

  I cocked an eyebrow. “Wow, do tell.” All I knew was a girl had screwed him over. The details on that were still a mystery.

  He became uneasy, shifting in his seat, taking a huge bite of pizza to avoid an answer. It took me by surprise, because by that point, I kind of figured he could tell me what happened in college.

  I focused on the movie instead, distracting myself from the irritation I felt. I ate half a slice before Josh responded.

  “Long story short…” He took a deep breath, and slowly released it. “She lied about being pregnant. And then lied about having a miscarriage.”

  ~26~

  I had to force down my last bite. His girlfriend lied to him about being pregnant? And then about losing the baby? How twisted was that?”

  “What? Are you serious?”

  He only nodded.

  I set down the last half of my slice, trying to come up with the right thing to say. But I just couldn’t form any words. Talk about the worst deception ever!

  “Wow, Josh, I’m-I’m really sorry you had to go through that,” I said at last. But it sounded like such a pathetic condolence. I wasn’t sure how having an affair and lying about a baby were comparable, but I felt like the latter was so much worse.

  “I think what upsets me the most is being stupid enough to believe something like that. Someone like that,” he added. “I saw all the signs—the manipulation, the monopolizing of my time, the dramatic neediness for attention, and the little things that didn’t add up—but I was too dumb to accept it all.”