If Not for You

by Debbie Macomber

  “Thank you,” Beth whispered in gratitude.

  “Don’t thank me yet.”

  —

  Beth kept her phone within easy reach as soon as she walked out of the school building. When it rang, Beth jumped with the anticipation of it.

  “Hello,” she said excitedly, seeing that the area code was from Chicago. “This is Beth.”

  “I know who it is,” Sondra Reacher said. “You’re the one who gave me this number, remember?”

  Beth grinned at her brusque tone. “I remember.”

  “Now, what is it you want to know about Mr. Hamlin?” the woman asked, getting straight to the point.

  Too late, Beth realized she should have been better prepared. She had a number of questions but wasn’t sure where to start.

  “Is Mr. Hamlin married?”

  “He used to be. He’s been divorced now for nearly twenty years.”

  Twenty years. That was a long time to remain single. “Children?” she asked next.

  “Two. Girls, both of them pretty as a picture. One’s married and made him a grandfather last June.”

  Sunshine would love knowing that. “Is he close to his daughters?”

  The question was answered with a snicker. “Mr. Hamlin isn’t close to anyone. You spoke to him. After the first minute you should have been able to tell he isn’t into teddy bears and lollipops. My guess is he’d like to be closer, but his ex is having none of that.”

  “That breaks my heart.”

  “Don’t know what that woman fed those girls. Can’t say for certain, but now that they are older I think their relationship with their father has improved.”

  “You said you’ve been with the firm nearly forty years. So you must have been there when Mr. Hamlin came on board.”

  “I was hired when the senior Mr. Hamlin was part of the firm. God rest his soul. He never made a secret of the fact that he wanted his son to go into law and join the practice. He didn’t mention it to me personally, you understand. At the time the office was small and one can’t help overhearing conversations.”

  “Right.” That made sense to Beth.

  “The younger Mr. Hamlin was determined to attend art school, though. His father refused to finance his efforts and was unhappy when he found a way to enroll all on his own. One time the missus showed up at the office and it was clear she’d been crying. The two of them went into the office and closed the door. I don’t know what was said, but it was about the same time as the younger Mr. Hamlin left for art school. I believe the missus backed her son.”

  “My aunt is an artist,” Beth murmured. “That’s where they must have met.”

  “Sounds plausible.”

  “I’m guessing but I think it was when my aunt and Mr. Hamlin broke up that he dropped out of art school.”

  “Could be,” the older receptionist agreed. “What I can tell you is that as soon as his son switched to studying law the elder Mr. Hamlin was as happy and carefree as a kid on the last day of school. Before long the senior Mr. Hamlin was bringing the younger by and arranging for him to meet Mr. Bower’s daughter.”

  “You mean the two law partners acted as matchmakers.”

  “It was more than that. Both men made it clear that they expected the two to marry one day.”

  “Expected?”

  “Oh yes. Marriage with the daughter of one of the other senior partners would cement Peter the younger’s position as a junior partner. His daddy was all for that.”

  Beth didn’t know the politics of a law office. “But what did Mr. Bower get out of this arranged marriage?”

  “More than he deserved,” Sondra Reacher said with a huff. “Carolyn Bower was and still is a heartless soul.”

  Beth could only guess what that implied. From the sound of it, Peter had gotten the short end of the deal. Right away her romantic heart kicked in, making it all the more important for her aunt to set matters straight with the man she loved. Like the plot of a book, she suspected that because he was broken-hearted he’d fallen victim to his father’s schemes, given up studying art, and married the woman he didn’t love. Fanciful for sure but plausible.

  “Forgive me for asking this, but is Mr. Hamlin easily…swayed by outside forces?” Beth asked, afraid if he betrayed her aunt he might well do it to someone else.

  “What?” the receptionist demanded. “No, you have it all wrong. Mr. Hamlin isn’t like that at all.”

  Beth was glad to hear it.

  The receptionist asked a question. “Tell me about your aunt?”

  “Her name is Sunshine.”

  Sondra Reacher laughed. “She one of those hippies who doesn’t realize the sixties are long over?”

  “No, it’s a nickname from her childhood. Her real name is Louise.”

  “There’s a famous artist with that same name. Only reason I know is because Mr. Hamlin has a painting in his office by her.”

  Beth grinned, greatly encouraged by learning this. “That’s my aunt.”

  Another pause. “Are you telling me that Mr. Hamlin was once in love with the artist Sunshine?”

  “That’s exactly what I’m telling you.”

  “Now, that’s a case for the textbooks. Holy moly. You should have said so earlier.”

  Beth didn’t know why it would make a difference who it was her boss had once loved.

  “Did I hear you right when you said Sunshine never married?”

  “Yes.”

  Again there was a pause, but this time it had an entirely different feel to it. Beth could sense the other woman’s excitement buzz through the phone.

  “Are you telling me you think your aunt is carrying a torch for Mr. Hamlin?”

  Beth felt like she was walking on shaky ground. “I can’t say for sure, but I’m thinking so.” She debated on adding what she’d read in the letter and then decided to go for it. “I saw part of a letter she’d written him years ago. In one of the first lines, she claimed that she would always love him.”

  “Well, this is a conundrum.”

  Beth smiled at the older woman’s choice of words. “Yes, I’d say it is.”

  “What would you like to see happen?” Sondra Reacher asked.

  That was a good question. “I suppose in my heart of hearts I’d like for the two of them to find a way to be together. I believe that if they were to see each other it might be possible for them to clear the air.”

  “Not gonna be easy. Mr. Hamlin isn’t the tenderhearted young man he once was.”

  “I got that message when I spoke to him,” Beth reminded her.

  “Did you know that afterward he asked me to make certain none of your calls came through to him again?”

  Beth’s hand tightened around her phone. “He did not say that!”

  “He did.”

  Beth could see reuniting the two of them was going to be more of a challenge than she’d anticipated.

  “So girl, how are you going to make this happen?” Sondra Reacher asked as if Beth had all the answers.

  “I don’t know. Do you have any suggestions?”

  “Give me a minute to think on it,” the woman suggested.

  Beth had the feeling it was going to take more than a minute.

  “Your aunt doing any art shows in the Chicago area in the near future?”

  Beth didn’t keep tabs on her aunt’s travel schedule. “I don’t know, but I can find out.”

  “You do that.”

  “What are you thinking?” Beth asked. “Sunshine’s paintings have been featured in Chicago art shows a dozen times, if not more.”

  “Maybe we could convince Mr. Hamlin to attend one of her shows.”

  “We?” Beth repeated, stunned. “And exactly how do you intend to make that happen? Mr. Hamlin left instructions that he no longer wishes to speak to me.”

  “Listen, the two of us are in this together. I’ve spent the better part of forty years seeing that man live in misery. He had a selfish, self-centered wife who divorced him after having mu
ltiple affairs. His only joy has been his two daughters who, despite Mr. Hamlin’s best efforts, were influenced by their mother. I admire him for all he did to keep in touch with his daughters. If I have the opportunity to bring a little sunshine into his life…” She paused and laughed. “I didn’t intend that pun, but it’s fitting, isn’t it?”

  “It is.”

  “If we have the chance to help him to be happy, then I think we should do it.”

  “I agree.” Beth’s excitement grew with each word the other woman spoke.

  “Now, tell me, does your aunt know you’re meddling in her life?”

  Beth was afraid to admit it. “I…I haven’t said anything to her about this.”

  “Thought so. Don’t know much about her, but my guess is she’s not a woman who lets someone do her talking for her.”

  “She isn’t.”

  “What made you decide to get involved? Was it that letter you mentioned?”

  “No, I stumbled upon that just recently. My aunt said his name once when we were out to eat. It was the look that came over her, and I knew that whomever this Peter was who shared fish tacos with her had been someone special in her life.”

  “Fish tacos. You asked me about that on your first phone call, didn’t you?”

  “I did. My aunt explained that she and Peter went to this hole-in-the-wall Mexican restaurant every Friday night and shared an order of fish tacos.” Then she had a thought. “Any chance Mr. Hamlin will be in the Portland area?”

  “Portland, Oregon, you mean, because if you do, I’m thinking I saw something recently about a conference being held out your way that he was planning on attending.”

  This was almost too good to be true. “Really?” She couldn’t contain her enthusiasm.

  “Pretty sure.”

  “If that’s the case, then all we need to do is figure a way to get the two of them together.”

  Silence followed as they both mulled over the problem.

  “Got it,” the receptionist cried out, startling Beth.

  “You do?”

  “Yup. We’re gonna do it with fish tacos.”

  CHAPTER 29

  Sam

  “Sam?” Beth answered on the second ring and sounded shocked to hear from him. They hadn’t talked on the phone for nearly three weeks mainly because he wanted to give Beth the chance to date.

  Sam wiped a hand down his face. Knowing she was seeing other men was killing him. He’d stayed away, unable to listen to her talk about the men she was currently dating. It was hard enough to listen when they played together at the rehab center. It seemed she had a date every other night. She’d been friendly and chatty and he’d been forced to smile and listen. Rocco had been right when he’d laughed when Sam had suggested he and Beth be friends. It’d taken these weeks for him to realize they were so much more than that.

  This wasn’t working, and it was time for him to own up to it. Now it was up to him to set things right. He felt awkward and tongue-tied. “How’s it going?” he asked, and then rolled his eyes, thinking he couldn’t have asked a less intelligent question.

  “Okay. Everything all right?”

  “Not really.” He swallowed hard and leaned his shoulder against the driver’s-side door of his pickup. He’d already put this off longer than he should have.

  “Oh.”

  He cleared his throat. “I was hoping, wondering, actually…you know with your busy schedule and all.”

  “Wondering what, Sam?”

  He went for it, rushing the words. “Wondering if you had time to go out with me?”

  Silence. Then, “On a date?” Beth asked skeptically.

  “Yes, on a date.”

  She hesitated. “I thought you don’t date.”

  “I don’t…usually.”

  “In other words, you’re making an exception in my case?”

  “Yes.”

  “Why?”

  “ ‘Why?’ ” he repeated. This was so much harder than he ever expected it would be. “I’ve missed you?” The words were stiff, tentative.

  “You see me twice a week. Not really much chance to miss me, Sam.”

  Sam pressed his hand over his eyes. Beth wasn’t going to make this easy. “I miss you, babe, more than I thought possible. I was a fool. And afraid of losing my man card.”

  “Your what?”

  “Never mind. Just that I’ve been an idiot.”

  “Yes.”

  He hesitated. “Are you saying you agree with me and that I was an idiot or did that mean you’d be willing to go out with me?”

  Beth laughed and it sounded like warm honey to him. “Yes, to both.”

  Sam grinned. She certainly wasn’t holding back. “Have you, you know, missed seeing me?”

  She hesitated. “Yeah.”

  “You have?” He was convinced he heard music in the background, like something out of a Hallmark movie.

  “More than I thought I would,” she said, echoing his own words.

  “What about all those other guys you’ve been seeing?”

  She laughed softly. “The truth is none of them hold a candle to you.”

  Yup, now he heard it loud and clear. Music, and it didn’t come from any radio, either. If he was a peacock his feathers would be in full display. “Thing is, if you date me, then we’re exclusive.” He was staking his claim right up front, here and now. “No one else but me.”

  She hesitated. “So you’re willing to admit we’re dating.”

  “Yeah, we’re dating. Exclusively.”

  Again she paused, giving him heart palpitations. “Is there someone else, Beth?” he asked. She’d mentioned three or four other men she’d been seeing, but there didn’t seem to be one in particular.

  “There’s never been anyone but you, Sam.”

  He relaxed, the tension leaving him. “Then we’re good.”

  “We’re good. Now, where are you going to take me?”

  Sam grinned. “Anyplace you want, babe. Anyplace at all.”

  They set the time and place for Friday night and Sam hung up the phone feeling better than he had in three miserable, sleepless weeks. He’d dodged a bullet and prevented a self-inflicted wound.

  —

  Thursday night it was Sam’s turn to host the poker game. The timing worked out well, as Beth was busy Thursday nights at her church’s choir practice, where she played the piano. She’d had the one date with Doug, and from what she’d told Sam it would only be the one date. He was a good guy, but they had little in common and simply hadn’t clicked.

  His poker-playing friends were all married, and their wives generally sent along appetizers and other goodies for snacks. Not being married himself, Sam bought a couple bags of potato chips and called it good. The host supplied the beer, and he’d stacked his refrigerator with a case of their favorite brew, which was sure to last the night. None of his friends were big drinkers, and Sam wasn’t one himself. At most he’d enjoy a beer or two.

  Thursday-night poker had been going on for about six or seven years now and it was a great way to break up the workweek. Two of the guys were men he worked with at the garage. Alex and Charley had taken to teasing Sam about the new woman in his life. Sam accepted their good-natured razzing. The only one who knew he hadn’t gone out with Beth in the last few weeks was Rocco. Thankfully, Rocco had kept his trap closed.

  It took Sam longer than it should have to realize all that he’d found in Beth. She was a special woman. He was impressed by her thoughtfulness and how big her heart was. Beth wanted to make everything right for others. He didn’t agree with her interfering in her aunt’s life, but he kept his opinions to himself. He couldn’t find it in himself to fault her for wanting her aunt to be happy. She hadn’t mentioned that she followed through with her plans, but it wasn’t like they’d been talking regularly.

  Since their talk and date, things had been going well with him and Beth. Better than ever, really. He felt they’d both grown in the time apart and come to appr
eciate each other on a deeper level.

  Thinking how well things were going with Beth, Sam cleared off the kitchen table and wiped it down to be sure there was nothing sticky that would mess with the cards. The beer was cooling in the refrigerator, and he had the potato chips in bowls on the kitchen countertop. He reached for one and munched on it and regretted not picking up a couple of those containers of dip.

  His doorbell chimed and he glanced at his watch. One of the guys was early. He started toward the front door when it opened and Beth stuck her head inside.

  “Hey,” he said, surprised to see her and equally pleased.

  “Hey,” she said, coming into the house. She held a platter in her hand.

  “What’s that?” he asked, because whatever it was smelled divine.

  Peeling back the tinfoil, Beth revealed a plate of chocolate-chip cookies. “I thought I’d contribute something to your game tonight,” she said, and, leaning forward, she gave him what he was convinced was intended to be a brief kiss. It didn’t turn out that way, hungry as he was for a taste of her.

  “I love cookies,” Sam said when he broke the kiss off. He reached for one, took a bite, and closed his eyes to savor the rich flavors. “These are homemade?”

  “Of course. You think I’d bring you store-bought cookies?”

  Sam took the plate out of her hand and set it aside. He then reached for her and brought her into his arms and kissed her again with the same urgency he’d felt a few minutes earlier. She opened to him the way she always did, slipping her arms around his neck and standing on the tips of her toes. It was hard not to get caught up in their kisses. Unfortunately, his poker-playing buddies were due anytime.

  When he found the will to drag his mouth from hers, he released her.

  “You should have said something earlier,” Beth chastised him.

  “Said what earlier?” he asked.

  “Nichole told me the women supply snacks for the guys on Thursdays.”

  “They do,” he said.

  “Am I not your woman?”

  Sam couldn’t have held back a smile for a million bucks. “Yup. Definitely.”

  “Then you should have told me.”

  Sam slipped his arm around her waist and nuzzled her neck as he led the way into the kitchen. He set the tray of cookies next to the bowl of chips. “On Saturday, would you like to—”