As if on cue, the door to his office opened and Katie bounded in.
“Ty! Lookit what I made you!” She held up a necklace strung with macaroni painted in various colors.
Rachel followed, looking slightly frazzled. “Sorry. I keep telling her not to interrupt you when you’re working, but you know how she gets. She’s so excited when I pick her up from day camp that it’s hard to keep her contained.”
“It’s no problem,” Ty said, getting up from his desk. “I was just finishing up for the day anyway.”
That was the other benefit of having Rachel and Katie here. In the past he’d find all sorts of excuses to keep working, anything to avoid having to go back to his empty cabin at night. It wasn’t that he’d disliked his life, but until now, he hadn’t realized just how lonely it was.
He accepted the necklace from Katie as he returned the big hug that had become part of his daily routine. “Thanks. I’ll wear it to supper tonight. Are you guys eating with Ricky or did you make other plans?”
The tired expression on Rachel’s face made him wish he hadn’t asked. “I’m just going to have Wanda send up a tray. I didn’t have time for my dialysis this afternoon, so I need to do that.”
She’d made arrangements for a home dialysis machine, which meant she didn’t have to go back to Denver so often, but the treatments often interfered with her ability to participate in activities. Still, having her here was better than her constantly making the drive back and forth.
Even with the treatment, Ty had noticed Rachel’s energy levels waning a lot more lately. Though a number of people had been tested to be donors, so far they hadn’t come up with a viable match.
He closed his eyes and said a brief prayer that God would find her an answer soon. Katie needed her mother. Ricky was becoming deeply attached to them, and Ty...as much as he was trying to keep it professional, he couldn’t not care about her.
When he opened his eyes, they landed directly on one of the flyers from the kidney donation center. Which had been happening a lot lately. No matter where he put them, they always seemed to show up of their own free will in unexpected places.
But they were just papers. Nothing significant.
Still, the dark circles under Rachel’s eyes told him that maybe he should stop waiting around for someone to do something and take action himself. Wasn’t that what he was known for? So why was he so freaked out about this? Other than they would potentially be taking a vital organ out of his body.
But not so vital, since he’d still have a working kidney, and, if they were a match, so would Rachel.
He’d reread the material tonight. But for now there was a more pressing issue he could take care of.
Ty looked back at Rachel and tugged his ear. It was their agreed-upon signal that he was asking if he could take Katie without saying it in front of her and getting her hopes up.
He’d been spending more time with Katie lately, and while it felt good to know that Rachel was letting her guard down, it only made him more concerned for her health.
Rachel shook her head. “Katie is going over to Sam’s in a little while.”
He could tell by the fake excitement in her voice that she wasn’t as excited as she was trying to let on for Katie’s sake.
“Janie says we’re going to make homemade pizza!” Katie’s grin split her face.
“She makes good pizza,” Ty said, smiling at her. “Can I help you guys get ready?”
Katie shook her head. “I’ve got all my stuff together.”
A good thing, since Rachel looked like she was about to collapse on the spot.
“I can take her to Janie’s if you like,” Ty said, knowing she’d probably refuse, but he had to make the offer. Given the way she constantly refused help, not wanting to be a burden, he couldn’t believe he’d once thought she was scheming to get Ricky’s money.
Rachel shook her head. “It’s okay. Janie is coming to pick her up.”
The expression on her face made him think that she was feeling even worse than she’d let on. After all, she would have usually put up a fight at the idea of Janie coming all the way out to the ranch, not wanting to inconvenience her friend.
A commotion in the hallway made Katie turn and run out of the room. “Sam!”
Janie entered, shaking her head. “Those kids. I didn’t think Sam could be any happier friendship-wise after Ryan moved here. But adding Katie has made them the Three Musketeers, and it’s hard to imagine life without all of them together.”
“She’s never had friends like Sam or Ryan before. I see what everyone here means about lifelong friendships,” Rachel said, a small twinkle in her eyes.
Even when she was this exhausted, she always seemed to find a small reserve of energy when it came to loving her daughter.
Janie laughed. “The boys were arguing the other day about which one of them was going to marry Katie, and they finally settled it by saying they’d take turns. I wasn’t sure how to break it to them that marriage doesn’t work that way.”
Ty couldn’t help smiling at the description. He didn’t blame them. Katie was as adorable as a little girl could get, with the sweetest disposition. Like her friends, Ty looked forward to the time he spent with Katie. Rachel was doing well with her, and as he looked at the lines on her face again, he wished she’d let them all do something more for her.
Once again he thought about her need for a kidney. The doctors couldn’t give them any information on potential donors until they were close to actually being able to do a transplant, but everyone they’d talked to who’d gone in for testing had said they weren’t a match for one reason or another.
His conscience pricked him again as he thought about the card on his desk. Katie deserved a life with her mother. As it was, Rachel was already limiting her activities because she couldn’t do as much as she got sicker.
Katie deserved better.
And as he watched Rachel and Janie laughing about their children’s antics, Ty couldn’t help thinking that Rachel deserved to have a life full of love and enjoyment. Her life had been so hard this far, and now that she was finally surrounded by family and friends who loved her, she didn’t get to enjoy it the way they all would have liked.
Selfishly, as much as Ty tried not to think about it, he also couldn’t imagine his life without Rachel in it.
Ty hoped that someday Rachel could accept the friendship of those around her without automatically being afraid that she was somehow intruding.
But that took time, something they may not have much of, if Rachel’s current appearance was an indicator.
Rachel looked at the door. “I suppose we should go make sure the children aren’t getting in Ricky’s way.”
Once again Rachel was worrying too much. Janie seemed to agree with him. She looked over at Ty, then shook her head as she turned her attention back to Rachel. “You let them be. I keep telling you I’ve never seen Ricky look happier. You have no idea the gift you’ve given him, so don’t you dare take that away from him.”
That same tired smile filled Rachel’s eyes. “I’m glad. I just hate the thought of being a burden on anyone.”
Janie put her arm around her. “Surely you’ve figured out by now that if you were a burden or bothering us, we’d tell you.”
As they walked out of Ty’s office and down the hall, the sound of laughter in the kitchen told them that the trip to the barn had not happened yet.
“There was an emergency at the bunkhouse Ricky had to deal with,” Wanda said. “The kids were expecting something fun, so I couldn’t disappoint them. I hope you don’t mind waiting until the cookies are finished to leave.”
Janie grinned. “As long as I get to bring some of those cookies home with us.”
Running over to Ty, Katie said, “You should help us. We could make another giant cookie like we did the other day. Sam di
dn’t get to try it.”
Her enthusiasm brought a smile to Ty’s face, but Wanda scowled.
“Not today, you’re not,” Wanda said. “You two make a mess of my kitchen with all your crazy experiments. We’re making normal cookies so Janie can take some home.”
The worried look on Katie’s face told Ty that she didn’t realize Wanda was joking. He gave the little girl a small nudge and winked at her. “Next time,” he said.
Katie’s smile warmed Ty’s heart, and once again, he couldn’t help thinking of how the arrival of the tiny family had brought so much joy to his life.
Wanda looked over at Rachel. “You don’t look like you’re feeling very well,” she said. “What are you thinking for dinner? We were doing the barbecue for the hands tonight, so I was hoping you would join us. But you don’t look up for it. I’ve got some soup I can heat up. Leftovers from last night.”
Rachel shook her head. “Actually, I’m not that hungry. I think I’ll go upstairs, do my treatment and go to bed.”
A concerned expression filled Wanda’s face as she examined Rachel. “Are you sure you don’t want anything to eat? You need to keep your strength up.”
Rachel shook her head again. “I had a big lunch, and I ate late, so I’ll be fine.”
They chatted for a few minutes, and Ty found himself with the ever-present smile that invariably came with spending time with Rachel, Janie and the children. When the cookies were out of the oven and sufficiently cooled, Wanda put them in a container for Janie to take with her and the kids back to her house. Even though they’d told Rachel a couple of times that she could go on upstairs, she’d stubbornly insisted on remaining until Katie was gone.
As soon as Janie’s car pulled out from the back of the house, Ty turned to Rachel and said, “Let’s get you upstairs and resting.”
But Rachel surprised him as she walked over to the porch swing that sat nestled in the corner under the eaves by the private kitchen entrance. “It’s such a nice evening, and I’ve been inside all day. I’d really like to sit out here for a while.”
She collapsed into the chair looking weary, but the peace on her face made it impossible to argue.
“Mind if I join you?”
She’d already closed her eyes as she leaned back against the seat and was gently rocking. “Suit yourself. But if you’re just here to babysit me, you go on and do whatever it was that you were planning on doing. I’ll be fine.”
She wasn’t fine; any fool could see it.
But since she’d asked him to check his motivation, he did. And as he thought about all the possibilities of what he could do with his time, the idea of sitting quietly on the porch swing enjoying the calmness of the evening with Rachel was the most appealing.
He briefly stopped the swing long enough to settle in, and though Rachel didn’t open her eyes, she let out a long, contented sigh.
As they sat there swinging on the porch, he looked out around him at the ranch. From this vantage point, tucked away from the main entrance and the back deck, this area was mostly used only by Ricky and Wanda and their closest friends as a private entrance to the house. He could see past the small kitchen garden Wanda liked to keep up with, to the fence that gave the family a small amount of privacy from the guests, and for a moment it felt like they were in their own insulated world. On the other side of the fence was the bustling parking lot, the lodge where the guests were mingling, and farther still, all the cabins and other buildings necessary for ranch operations. He could hear the activity on the other side of the fence but it was muted, and here, in this isolated spot, he felt a peace he wasn’t often used to.
“I feel better already,” Rachel said, opening her eyes and turning to him. “I know you keep telling me about all the wonderful places on the ranch you want me to experience because you love them so much, but I think this is my very favorite spot. Sometimes, after Katie goes to bed, I come out here and just sit, listening to the stillness of the night, praying and thinking about how grateful I am to see how everything has worked out.”
Rachel had changed since coming here. Yes, she still worried too much about being a burden or imposing, and that she didn’t belong, but she was family. Once again he realized he couldn’t imagine the ranch without her.
It was as if his final excuses for keeping her at a distance melted away.
That Rachel was the old Rachel. She hadn’t known God, and she hadn’t known the welcome she would find here. Maybe she had been deceitful, but he was finding it harder and harder to muster the same resentment he’d initially held against her.
He reached over and took her hand. “I’m glad you found your peace here. You’re part of this place now. I know I’ve already apologized for how I treated you in the past, but I just wanted to say once again how deeply I regret my previous actions toward you.”
She squeezed his hand and smiled. “After seeing the operation, I can understand why you would be so protective. I was in the lodge the other day when a customer was trying to fake an injury. I think, if the man’s little boy hadn’t called him out on it right on the spot, you would have been hearing from them.”
Ty groaned. He had heard from the man. But thankfully, all it took was for him to talk to a few witnesses and go back to the man to let him know that if he sued, they would file a countersuit. It was amazing how quickly the man’s story changed.
There were dozens of men like him, all trying to get their piece of the Double R pie. But he could finally see that Rachel was not one of them.
“It’s all part of my job,” Ty said, looking over at Rachel.
The admission made him feel as weary as Rachel had looked earlier. Protecting Ricky and the Double R took a toll on him that he hadn’t realized until Rachel had come into his life. In the interest of protecting others, he’d put such a barrier around his heart that he hadn’t been willing to let anyone else in.
This time when Rachel smiled at him it was devoid of the fatigue it had previously had. Perhaps this place really was relaxing for her.
“I want you to know,” she said, “I underestimated you. I’ve held a lot against you, because of the pain in my marriage. It made me doubt myself, made me doubt my friends, and with good reason. But not everyone is like Chris and the friends I used to have. Everything I see in you comes from a pure heart. You really care about Ricky and the land. You’re not Chris, who only ever cared about himself.”
It hadn’t occurred to him that she would have made that comparison. Especially since he had so little in common with people like Chris.
“I’m nothing like him,” he said.
“I know,” she said. “But what I did know was that you were an attorney, and my experience with them hasn’t been great. Some of the things you did that were controlling made it easy for me to think you were just like every other attorney I knew. In my experience, all lawyers have been self-serving and didn’t care who they hurt in the process. I’m glad to be wrong, and I’m so grateful to have you in my life.”
Her words humbled him. They were both guilty of misjudging one another due to past painful experiences. It was time for them to move forward.
* * *
Rachel didn’t know why she was working so hard to spit it out. She’d been thinking about this for a while now, and given that she was feeling especially bad today, she needed to have this conversation sooner rather than later.
So far they hadn’t found a donor. Not even a hope of one. Though Janie had been reminding her to keep the faith and trust in the Lord, Rachel knew that the Lord didn’t always answer with a yes. Just look at Janie’s mother, who was a good Christian woman, dying of cancer, and prayers hadn’t saved her.
What if God said no to Rachel’s healing?
All the more reason why she had to have this conversation with Ty.
Rachel had been praying about it, and every time she did so, Ty’s n
ame came to the front of her mind. As a lawyer, he was uniquely equipped to help her, to make sure Katie would be safe in the event of Rachel’s death.
He might not have been willing to get tested to be a kidney donor, but he could still help Rachel. How could she hold his decision to not be tested against him, when the surgery would cost him so much? Her insurance would pay for of the transplant, but there were other costs to Ty, like taking time off from a job he loved so much. That, and she’d seen how he turned green at the mention of surgery.
Her doctor had told her that not everyone who loved her would be willing to be a donor, and that she needed to love them anyway. Not everyone was meant to be a donor. She’d learned in church that everyone had their own special gifts, and you needed to honor people for theirs.
Ty wouldn’t give her a kidney. But maybe he could use one of his other gifts to help her.
“I need a favor,” Rachel said.
The earnest look he gave her made her feel bad. “Anything,” he said.
That was just it. This wasn’t like borrowing a cup of sugar or watching Katie for an hour. But he’d been saying she needed to stop feeling guilty for relying on everyone.
“I need some legal advice.”
He looked puzzled. “On what?”
Rachel took a deep breath. “I know everyone is praying for my recovery, but what if we don’t get the answer we want? I want your help in making sure Katie is protected in the event of my passing.”
She hated the way he flinched at her words. No one wanted to accept that Rachel might die, least of all Rachel. But it was a possibility they needed to face.
“You’re not going to die,” he said.
Tears filled her eyes. She thought she’d made peace with this idea, but hearing Ty’s denial hurt in an unexpected way. She didn’t want to die, especially now that she’d found so many reasons to live.
The Cowboy’s Sacrifice Page 12