by Becca Fisher
"So, what led you to be a carpenter?" I asked, the cool grass tickling my feet.
"I figure if it was good enough for Jesus, it should be good enough for me too," Daniel answered.
Daniel had a fantastic devotion to the Lord that exuded from every pore of his body. He didn't just pay lip service to God's teachings. He lived to honor them.
"That puts you in good company," I replied.
"Jesus is in a class by himself. I feel foolish even being mentioned in the same sentence as him."
"We should aspire to be mentioned in the same sentence. Isn't that why we're here, to prove that his death wasn't in vain?" I asked.
"And to carry on his message. Of hope, of peace--"
"Of love," I added.
"How could I forget love?" Daniel joked.
"I don't know. It's right in front of your face," I replied.
Daniel looked deep into my eyes again. "You know where this path leads."
"Into the arms of happiness?" I suggested.
"My arms would never be happier than to be holding you. But you know the Lord doesn't wish distraction upon us during courtship."
"I think it's safe to say it's too late to thwart distraction."
Daniel quickly turned his attention back to the sky to keep temptation at bay. "Rumor on the street is you're a pretty remarkable quilter."
"I don't take a lot of stock in rumors," I replied.
"How much stock do you put in compliments?" Daniel asked.
"Have you seen any of my quilts?" I replied.
"I have not had that pleasure yet. Perhaps you could show me some of your private collection."
"Or, you could just stop by my families shop. Unless you're afraid of meeting my family."
"Are you kidding? I'm terrified. The village is hardly crazy about an interloper. I wouldn't want your family to follow suit."
"You realize if we are to continue that you'll need to meet my father? By tradition, you already should have."
I threw the suggestion out to test the waters. My Father already knew everyone else in town. And I knew what he thought of them. His words became rather colorful about some of the locals. But Daniel was a complete question mark to my father. And in a village light on new residents, there was no telling what my family might think.
Daniel meeting my parents would also be a barometer for me too. It was one thing to bat eyes at each other in private. It was another for Daniel to show his true intentions. To prove he wasn't just a fling, but possibly my soul mate. And to show once and for all that maybe he was the one to fill that heart break sized hole in my chest.
"I'm well aware of tradition," Daniel admitted. "And I'm well aware of the drama that can come with it."
"Is there not more drama in entangling a ladies heart with unclear motives?" I asked.
Daniel had a face built for honesty. And he did not mislead me with his response.
"I have every intention of seeking the approval of your parents," Daniel assured me. "I just thought you and I could enjoy each others company a little more first."
That sentiment was not lost on me. I didn't mean to fly in the face of tradition. Being Amish, my whole life was tradition. But with Daniel, I felt like a new tradition was in order.
***
The next few weeks went by in a blur of bliss. And although every step I'd taken in my life had been in Lancaster County, every sight I saw seemed new to me. I was getting a fresh perspective on life. Looking at things at a new angle. Seeing everything through the eyes of love.
God seemed to welcome our burgeoning romance without reservations. Everywhere I turned I saw God's love all around me. But especially in Daniel's eyes. Everything just felt so right. I snuck away whenever I could just to see the smile Daniel had been saving just for me.
We discussed our faith, our feelings for each other, and what we thought the world had in store for us. My life had not known such happiness. And I never wanted it to end.
It was amazing how love just took hold of my life. I'd never felt anything like it. To wake up every day looking forward to seeing Daniel. To know he felt the same about me. It was overwhelming at first. I'd grown up believing love would slowly unfurl itself. Like a flower blooming over time.
With Jed, my feelings had emerged gradually, choosing to reveal themselves at a measured pace. But I'd fallen for Daniel quickly. Like we were making up for lost time. Like the world had been waiting for us to finally connect. And I fell hard and fast for him.
***
"Well, it appears someone has a smile wide enough for the entire table," my Father said, seeing me considerably more chipper than a few weeks prior.
"It's true. Happiness no longer escapes me," I replied.
"In that case, why don't you say the Lord's prayer?" my Father suggested.
I was delighted to. After all, I had a lot to thank God for. "Oh bountiful Lord, thank you for all your blessings at this table and otherwise. You have truly showed me the word and the way to bliss. I wish to honor you as well as the rest of us devotees at this humble table, waiting to one day join you behind the gates of heaven. Amen."
But while it was my father Samuel that took an interest in my demeanor at the dinner table, it was my dear sister that was eager to work out a hunch.
"It must be exciting getting a letter from Jed," Allison remarked.
"What?" I replied, completely confused.
Allison picked up an envelope from the front table. "Jed sent you a letter from Philadelphia today."
"Oh, right." But it didn't even occur to me to open it.
The man I cared to hear from had just given me a buggy ride home. And he didn't answer to the name Jed.
"Miriam, I think perhaps a discussion is in order," Allison continued.
My sister was more than just one of my siblings. She was the success story I aspired to emulate. Allison had a great marriage to a devout man, a family on the way, and with inspiration to spare. But Allison also didn't mind being in other people's business. And suddenly, that business was mine.
"If not Jed, then who's the guy?" Allison asked, in the comfort of my bedroom.
"Can't a girl find herself happy just because?" I replied.
"Not when there's a letter written by Jed dying from neglect in our entryway," Allison explained.
"Ally, I love you, but there are some things I can't tell you."
"Why not?" Allison asked.
"Because I don't want the entire village to know."
"I will conveniently ignore such an unglamorous remark. Besides, I think I know who it is. I've seen Walter Miller steal glances at you at church service for months."
"Ally, you're wasting your guesses. You don't know him."
"Now you've completely given yourself away. There's only one man in this village I don't know. Oh my word. Have you fallen for the new carpenter?"
I didn't know what to say. Allison had figured out my secret almost as quickly as if Daniel's name had been written right across my forehead.
"That is no business of yours," I insisted.
But Allison had me figured out, and she wanted details of the most juicy variety.
"Of course not. Why would it be my business that my dear sister is finding love in the most unlikely of suitors?"
"Has it ever occurred to you that maybe love has it's own schedule for revealing itself?" I asked.
"So you are falling in love?"
There was no point in resisting anymore. Allison had called all of my bluffs. So I decided to share my joy.
"He's like a little piece of heaven," I admitted.
"No wonder Jed's an afterthought."
"I actually haven't thought about Jed in quite some time, nor do I find reason to."
"Should I anticipate a family of your own soon?" Allison asked.
"That depends," I replied. Has father changed his opinion of strangers lately?"
Five
Daniel was true to his word about meeting my parents when his intention
s were ready to be known though. But walking into my parents quilt shop, a case of nerves struck him. Daniel had hoped to see my smiling face as he entered, but was greeted by my father instead. I was just coming out from the storage room at the back of the shop when I stumbled upon the moment of truth.
"Welcome to our humble shop," Samuel said. "I hope we can interest you in one of our fine quilts."
Daniel looked around at some of the quilts before settling his nerves. "Very impressive handiwork."
"Actually, my daughter quilted these," Samuel replied, beaming with pride.
"You mean Miriam did this?" Daniel asked, noticeably impressed.
"You know Miriam?" Samuel said.
"Uh, yeah. We...met at service not too long ago."
Samuel all of a sudden took great interest in Daniel. He looked over Daniel's face until something dawned on him.
"Wait a minute. Are you that new carpenter in town?" Samuel asked.
"Guilty as charged," Daniel replied.
"I'm old friends with Clancy Jennings. Did you know he's been a master carpenter in town for thirty years?"
Daniel's tension quickly returned. "I don't mean for any competition. I just wish to do an honorable job in the Lord's eyes."
"You sure seem to have your priorities in order for someone of such a young age," Samuel said.
"Faith knows no age. Jesus was a miracle from birth."
"Might I say you make a welcome addition to our community."
I had never heard such words come out of my father's mouth about an outsider, Amish or otherwise. It was like I had just witnessed a small miracle of my own. But it was one thing for my father to embrace Daniel as a fellow townsman. It was another to welcome him into his extended family. But if there was ever a better time to ask, I hadn't seen one.
"It brings me great pleasure to hear that," Daniel admitted. "Because I was hoping to get your blessing to one day be your daughters husband."
That revelation did not sit quite as well in my father's heart. "Perhaps you should tell me what exactly happened at the service when you met her."
"I knew I'd found someone that could fill my heart with happiness for the rest of my life."
My father then turned around and saw me listening in to the conversation with prying ears. I couldn't help but blush over the compliment Daniel had paid me. But all it took was one look into my eyes to see my unyielding attraction to Daniel. I then ducked to the back room to pray that my father gave Daniel his approval.
The conversation continued between my father and Daniel out of my earshot. It wasn't long until Samuel had questions for me though as well.
***
"Miriam, I was hoping I could have a few words with you," Samuel said, as I looked out the pasture behind the shop.
"Only if those are kind words," I insisted.
"It seems an explanation may be in order," Samuel added.
Daniel wasn't the only one with nerves. They had migrated over to me. But if Daniel was brave enough to confess his love to my father, I could find the strength as well. I didn't need my father to approve of my love. After all, I was already in love. But my father's blessing would mean the world to me if I could get it. No one wanted their desire derailed by disapproval. My father was not a terribly easy man to please though. But my feelings deserved consideration of their own, so I volunteered them.
"The only explanation I can give you is that I've rarely felt such joy in my life as I do around him."
"How much do you really know him though? He only made your acquaintance a few months ago?"
"Father, I know you're skeptical--"
"A father must always be skeptical of who he allows into his daughters heart."
"All I need to know is that whenever I look into Daniel's eyes, I see a man that is both devout is his faith and devoted to me. And knowing that, I don't know what else I could ask for."
"May I just remind you that everyone is on their best behavior when they're trying to impress."
"Do you have reason to believe his behavior is misleading?" I asked.
"I do not."
"So let us see what the future bares out."
"Your convictions truly do not waver about him, do they?"
"I truly feel I could not find a better man to entrust my heart with," I revealed.
There. It was done. For better or worse, the truth had come to light. What my father would do with it was anyone's guess though. I preferred not to guess, although I was afraid of his answer. Samuel took a pause that seemed to last for eternity, then responded.
"Well, if it your will to pursue romance with this man, then I bless your union."
I gave my father a hug while nearly bursting with joy. Relief had never tasted that sweet before. It was a landmark moment in my life. And one I'd never forget.
***
With my father's blessing, Daniel and I were free to let our love bloom. And we did. Daniel and I never missed a sunset together. We took buggy rides out to the pasture to appreciate the Lord in every beautiful landscape. And we thanked God for the blessings he gave us during every service. A smile seemed to take up permanent residence on Daniel's face. So when I joined him in the field one day and a furrowed brow welcomed me accompanied by a distant look in his eyes, I knew something had rattled Daniel.
"I've never seen your face so blanketed with worry," I remarked, as Daniel looked out into the distance.
"It's not worry," Daniel replied. "It's grief."
"Oh Daniel, what troubles you so?"
"Miriam, there's something I haven't told you."
"Why do I get the distinct feeling that I'm not going to like this?"
"Today isn't just August 3rd. It was a year ago today that I became a widow," Daniel admitted.
Those two heartbreaking sentences begot so many questions. Daniel had been married before? He'd loved and lost? And he'd kept it from me? There was a lot to process for both me and Daniel.
"I'm so sorry for your loss."
"And I'm sorry to put a damper on our day together," Daniel insisted.
"Pay that no mind. It must be devastating having someone you love taken from you."
"It seemed so senseless. Just an accident. Mary was just going to take a buggy ride to the general store, only she never came back."
"Oh God, what happened?" I asked.
Daniel was nearly holding back tears. "She was plowed into by an Englisher. He hit her head on. She never had a chance."
"How dreadful. That is absolutely ghastly."
"For months afterwards I was inconsolable. Even the Lord couldn't lift my spirit," Daniel explained. "But if losing Mary wasn't debilitating enough, everywhere I turned I was reminded of her. At the general store where we first met, in her parents barn where I proposed, in my parents backyard where we wed. The whole village was steeped in memories of our time together. It was then I realized the only way I could escape the grief was to call a new place my home."
"And you ended up here."
"I sincerely thought I'd never love again. That I was too damaged. Too broken. But when I first saw you, an amazing thing happened. You brought hope back into my life. You saved me from self destruction. And you brought me back to God again," Daniel explained.
I had never heard anyone speak about me in such terms. Daniel's words were so kind. I didn't know how to respond to them. I was overcome with emotions. My tears refused to be held back. It was a one of a kind experience hearing the love of your life tell you that you brought hope back into his life.
"I don't know how you made it through all that," I said.
"It can be hard seeing the Lord's plan sometimes," Daniel admitted. "But I realize now that he sent you to restore my faith. You were his messenger. You were heaven sent."
"I don't know that I believe that to be the truth. But whatever path it took to get you to me, I'm glad you're here with me."
"As am I. It's amazing to think that from such heartbreak, love could be reborn anew."
; "I know it must have been so hard to reveal that to me. To have lived with that grief. But I just want you to know whatever you need, I'm here for you."
Daniel cracked a slight smile as he looked into my eyes. "Just loving me is enough."
***
The spirit of honesty overtook me as well on the buggy ride home. There was something I couldn't even admit to Jed before he left. Something that had been bringing an itch to my subconscious. Something I only felt comfortable revealing to Daniel.
"I was worried if I went with Jed to Philadelphia that I wouldn't come back," I admitted.
Jed pulled the buggy over and gave me his full attention as my heart poured out.
"I was worried that temptation would overcome me the way it did my sister Abigail," I continued.
"I didn't even know you had another sister."
"She has not been referred to often since deciding not to join the church," I replied.
"I can't imagine how difficult that is for you," Daniel said.
"And we used to be so close. But her curiosity for the world was strong. So when rumspringa came, she set off for Philadelphia. It wasn't long before she got it in her head that she could do the Lord's work without so many restrictions on her passion. She fell in love with a man. And temptation overcame her. After that, the Amish ways held little sway over her."
"For me one of the hardest realizations to come to was discovering just how different our journeys can be to get back to God. And in fulfilling the Lord's purpose, sometimes those closest to us chose a path that draws them far away from those that love them the most."
"Some days I still can't believe I'll never see Abigail at service again, or share a meal together at the kitchen table."
"I certainly understand your pain."
"I thought I'd never experience such turmoil in my soul again. But then I saw the same insatiable curiosity for the world in Jed's eyes. It was then I knew Jed wanted more than Lancaster County could give him and would not be content with less. I started to worry that my love for him would make me compromise who I am. That maybe the temptations of the outside world would distract me from what's important. That I would find myself making decisions based on my love for Jed rather than my love for God."