by Sabrina Kade
“No,” I say at last. “He didn’t hurt me.”
“Good. I didn’t think he would, but I had to ask.”
I lift my chin. “You didn’t think he would? I thought you said these guys are all assholes.”
“They are. And that’s fine with me. I didn’t want to think they’d hurt you. Exer’s so quiet. And while it’s usually those guys who make me the most hesitant, he seemed innocent enough.” She shakes her head. “I don’t know. You came back in here in such a huff that I worried one of the few guys here I wasn’t worried about let me down.”
I bark out a sarcastic laugh. “Yeah, right. Like you’d care.”
“I’d care. Not about him, though.”
I’m surprised to hear so much conviction in Lacey’s voice. It’s odd that the most reclusive people on this planet are the ones who open up to me. Why is that? I glance at Lacey, trying to figure her out, but she only rolls her eyes and pulls her hand away from mine, muttering something about making sure no one’s getting raped.
I guess that’s as good a response as any.
“Well, I do appreciate you checking in on me either way. I guess.”
“These guys are assholes. Someone’s got to keep a clear head.”
“Right.”
“Seriously, though. He didn’t hurt you?”
“No.”
“Then why aren’t you with him now? Is there anything you need to talk about? If not with me, then maybe Layla? Or Blythe?”
I take in a deep breath, seriously considering her offer. It wouldn’t be a big deal. I could tell Lacey that I’m concerned there are more Sidyths in the south that Exer won’t talk about. But what if I’m wrong? Lacey’s probably the last person who should have mud to sling when it comes to the Sidyths. And if I tell her that Exer’s keeping secrets, what will she do? Will she leave by herself? Will she head south and try to learn what’s down there?
No. She won’t have to do that.
Maybe I could, though.
When I first left the lairs to track down Exer it was because my past was clean enough that I could handle it. I left because it made the most sense for me to go. And now? Are things any different? Aren’t I still the most qualified person to go? Well, maybe not physically, but I can still run like the dickens. I’m fast and maybe I can give Exer one last chance to come clean.
I’ll ask him to come with me.
We could go south together and see what’s down there – Sidyths or whatever else he doesn’t want me to know about.
He said I should never go down there, but he never said we couldn’t go together.
I brighten considerably. It’s a reasonable request. I’ll ask him to take me south. If he says yes, we’ll go together.
If he says no?
Well, I hope he says yes.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Sloane
I’m not surprised when I pat on the curtain of Exer’s room, and it immediately opens. The sun rayers are blasting, so a thick wave of heat and haze strikes me in the face. He’s shirtless, clad only in a small pair of black shorts, and nothing exciting is going on there. I’m relieved in a way, but I’m also nervous because he doesn’t appear that happy to see me.
Honestly, he still looks pissed off. Like he’s the one who has the right to be.
“Can I come in? I want to talk to you.”
He narrows his eyes but says nothing before pulling the curtain further away from the opening so I can slide into his room. Eww, it’s stifling in here, and sweat clings to the hairs that have fallen free from my sloppy updo. I glance around, trying to find a place to sit, but nothing seems appropriate. There’s only a simple bed and an area to store clothing. Exer remains silent as he shuts the curtain and finds a spot on the floor and crosses his legs. I guess that works, too. I find a seat in front of him, but he won’t meet my eyes.
This is bad. This is really bad.
“You wanted to speak to me, yes?” Exer asks, crossing his muscular arms across his bare chest. He’s at least looking at me now, and though I long to pounce on him, this isn’t the time. “Have you come to ask me more questions about things I will not speak of? Because my answer is the same, Sloane. I cannot speak to you about the south. I’ll only insist that you never go there.”
“Why?” I snap, finding an opening. “Why can’t I go there?”
“Because.”
“Because it’s dangerous?”
“Yes.”
“Because of other Sidyths?”
“No. There are no Sidyths down there.”
“Then what?” I’m screaming. “Exer, please. I want to trust you. I want to be with you, but I can’t let this go.”
“You should.”
“Why?”
“Because it is not a good idea.”
I sigh, trying to keep my nerves together. There’s no point in shouting and shrilling like a harpie. If anything, he’ll close himself off more and then I’ll really have no one to talk to.
“If I can’t go there, I need you to tell me what’s there. Why don't you guys go further south? Is it… animals?” He flinches. Now we’re talking. “So it’s animals. Not other Sidyths. Are they dangerous animals? Are you afraid that you’d have to kill them? Because if it’s safer for you guys to live where it’s warmer than you should do it.”
“No one will be going to south. Especially not to kill animals. This place is safe enough.”
“But it could be better. It could be warmer. You guys are here because of your beliefs about not killing animals. Maybe you wouldn’t have to kill them. You took care of those fauders—”
“I chased away a few fauders. That is not the same as what we would encounter if we were to go south.” He grimaces, thinking he’s probably said too much, but I guess if he’s said that, he feels comfortable saying more. “I do not think you understand the importance of not senselessly killing animals.”
“Finding a comfortable place to live is not senseless.”
“To you. To your people – people who eat animals without ever having to witness the brutality of their murder. Of course, you wouldn’t understand.”
My eyes widen. “You’re making it sound as though I want you to kill thousands of animals for the sake of killing!”
“Aren’t you?”
“No!”
“Then what are you asking me, Sloane? You said before that you do not mind killing animals. Even now, you said we should kill some to make our lives more comfortable.”
“I didn’t mean it like that—”
“What about the lives of those animals? Don’t they deserve to be comfortable as well? Are you not comfortable here?” He hisses, darting a long tongue from his mouth, and I swear he’s the most pissed I’ve ever seen him. “You speak of comfort, but you only speak of your own. When I had to attack those fauders, were you concerned about them? Or only hoping they were dead?”
My face grows hot. “They attacked me—”
“Because they are predators,” he sneers. “As you are prey. It is in their nature. But you do not care. You care only for your comfort. What about theirs? What about mine?”
“Yours? What about yours?”
“Do you think I found joy in scaring those brilliant creatures? Do you think I enjoyed spooking them simply for acting upon their nature? Do not ask me if I regret saving you because I do not, but not once did you ask if I was okay. You did not care to know if I was okay after what I did, despite my beliefs. You only cared for your comfort.”
“They tried to kill me!”
“Because you are prey.”
“You’re… you're ridiculous, Exer.” I’m grumbling, but this is an argument I’m quickly losing. He’s right. I didn’t ask about him. I didn’t bother trying to understand his disgust with hurting other animals. I only wanted to learn his secrets and eliminate any walls between us. I always assumed the worst.
Still. Something prickles at me. “I’m sorry you had to scare those creatures off, Exer. I am. But you di
dn’t kill them. I swear, with the way you’re acting right now, it’s like you care more about animals than your brothers. Or me, for that matter.”
It’s the wrong thing to say, but the words fly from my lips anyway, and I immediately regret them. Especially after seeing the reaction on Exer’s face. I should let it go now. He’s made himself clear. He doesn’t want me going south. He doesn’t want to kill animals.
But I’m not about to have him call me prey and defend animals that tried to kill me, no matter how non-sensical my argument is.
“I care for the animals because they are pure,” Exer grumbles. “They do not judge me.”
“Have I ever judged you?”
“You’re judging me now.”
“You’re being silly, Exer. Not to mention unreasonable.”
“Judgement. Then I guess it is only fair to pass my own. You are being violent and primitive. Exactly like how I heard humans behaved.”
My patience snaps. Violent? Primitive? Alino said the same types of things. I thought the Sidyths were different, but under their pale skins and scales, they’re no less different than the Rinoscs. They believe humans are below them. Sidyths believe they are great because they don’t kill.
Well, good for them.
My eyes well up with frustration, but Exer doesn’t move to comfort me. Why should he? He’s made it crystal clear. He cares about his animals. He cares more about them than he cares about me. Probably about anyone. There’s nothing I can do to change that.
Not when I’m violent. Or primitive.
Exer’s expression shifts when I angrily wipe away a tear. “Why do you cry?”
“I can cry for reasons other than animals dying, asshole.” I wipe them away and rise to my feet. Exer stands with me, but something has changed between us. Secrets or not, I don’t want to be with someone who thinks I’m primitive or violent. I hate those words. I feel like I’m Alino’s toy doll all over again.
I don’t want to be that person.
I won’t be that person.
I have to look at the facts.
I’ve asked Exer to take me south, and he’s said no.
I’ve got no choice now. It has to be me.
I have to be the one to uncover their secrets.
Violent, primitive Sloane will uncover the secrets the Sidyths refuse to talk about.
***
I suppose being impulsive is a good and a bad thing.
You run out, guns blazing but then realize you have no guns. You’re not the type of person who blazes guns and then you realize that you’ve disappeared into the dark on a strange planet with no one around. Even Hinda isn’t around and believe me, I’ve called for her several times. But
I can’t go back. I won’t go back. I use the look of shock on Exer’s face when I stormed out of his room as a reason to keep going. I use the look of surprise on Celeste’s face when I told her I was going to find the Sidyths or die trying as a reason to remain brave.
I realize pretty early into my sprint that I’m a fool. A crazy, impulsive idiot for ever thinking leaving the lairs was going to work a second time. I got lucky with Exer finding me the first time. There’s no guarantee it will happen now.
So now I’m wandering the woods, blind as a bat without anything close to a weapon to protect me.
I’m alone.
My heart races, but I keep running, convinced I’m heading south. It’s the exact opposite direction I followed Exer the first time, so that has to mean something. It’s not like I have the North Star to guide me and even if I did, I’m pretty sure it would guide me the wrong way. The only sound at this point is my feet pounding against the dirt and whatever’s following a few yards behind me.
Because something is following me now. At least one something. Maybe more.
I try to remember the names of all the animals Exer taught me a few days ago, and the sounds they made. Hinda gurgled and burbled, so I don’t think she’s what’s trailing behind me. My heart sinks because she’s the one creature other than Exer I wouldn’t mind having by my side. No. I don’t want Exer here. Stupid, secretive alien! Calling me violent and primitive. And why? Because I eat cheeseburgers? Because I didn’t ask how he was doing when he didn’t kill those fauders who were trying to kill me? Gah!
Maybe I could have been more supportive, but it’s so obvious he cares more about the animals than he does me. If him scaring them off to save me hurts him so much, why did he save me in the first place?
Why did he have to make me feel like a princess and like he’d do anything for me?
The heat in his gaze was enough to make my pussy melt, and now I’m wandering around the woods to prove a point.
What point, I’m not sure anymore.
I stop suddenly and glance over my shoulder. This whole thing is silly. Going south isn’t going to prove anything. Getting myself killed isn’t going to show anything. Convincing myself that I hate Exer certainly isn’t going to prove anything either.
Because it would be a lie, even when shouting at him, my heart wasn’t in it.
Even when he called me primitive, I shook it off because he only said it because I said his beliefs about killing animals was silly.
Are they? No. They’re important to him, and I laughed in his face like his beliefs meant nothing to me.
I tremble, running my hand through my hair, trying to work it back into a sloppy updo. I could use a hair tie right about now.
Just go back, the logical side of me begs. Go back and apologize, but make sure he apologizes too! After you do.
“Yeah,” I mutter, sucking in a breath. Painfully strong, chilly wind dances across the night sky. I worry I’ve judged my direction completely wrong, and I’m still heading north somehow. I hear more rustling and spin around, frightened by the intensity of the sound.
“E-Exer?”
Hope blossoms in my chest that he’s followed me. That’s what a prince would do, right? Follow the stupid damsel in distress and stop her from doing anything else without thinking it through?
Ugh. I could use him right about now. He’s so much more patient than me. More logical. He thinks things through. Me? I’m the girl who gets into a fight with her boyfriend and storms away into unfamiliar alien forests at night.
Sloane, how the hell do you keep getting yourself into these messes?
I’m trying to silence my mind, and when I think things can’t get any worse, there’s a flash of white behind me. And another. And I’m pretty there’s another. I swallow hard, feeling a lump of fear pushing its way into my stomach. Those flashes of white, aren’t snow and I’m pretty sure they’re not kittens. They’re too big. Too fluffy. They have too many spindly legs poking out from either side of them. A scream builds in my throat, but if I scream, I might as well sign my death certificate. There’s a chance they can’t see me. There’s a chance that the darkness is messing with their vision.
Can they hear me? I nudge my foot around in the dirt enough to make a noise and the rustling stops.
Okay. Their hearing works fine. Not good.
The possibility of them not being able to see me may be my only way of getting out of this alive. And I’m going to get out of this alive. I think. When I don’t move, the fauders start shuffling on the ground and against the leaves of the talas and the sound sends chills down my spine. Oh, I wish Exer were here. Heck, I’d settle for Hinda right about now.
I’m on my own.
It’s only a matter of time before someone’s going to have to do something. Either I’ll have to run, or the fauders are going to get impatient and start lumbering over here. My spine crawls at the idea of trying to outrun them a second time. I’m no zoologist, but my two legs (no matter how fast) will never be able to beat eight. I swallow hard, glancing at the full moon overhead, thankfully giving me enough light to spring in the appropriate direction. If I find water, any water, that may buy me enough time.
Enough time to what, though? Celeste sure as sugar isn’t coming, and Exer a
nd I aren’t on the best of terms right now. Maybe we never will be again.
The idea of no longer having him hurts my heart, but that’s only until the fauders start to head in my direction.
Terror washes over me, and I spin away before I overthink.
Run — my brain screams. Run and don’t look back.
I’m sprinting full on, but the woods get noisier. If only three or four were following me before, there’s got to be at least double that now. I can no longer stop the scream that pours from my lungs, and it’s so loud and shrill that the hairs on my neck stand at attention. I don’t look back as the sounds get louder and louder, but finally, I find something that may work.
A hole in a tree.
It’s a few inches above my head, but I think I can duck inside. That could buy me some time, and if by some miracle, the creatures don’t see me jump in, I’ll gather my breath and sprint back to the lairs. It’s a long shot, but what choice do I have?
I pick up the pace, and shockingly the rustling behind me grows soft long enough to give me the confidence I need to scramble into that hole. It’s sticky inside like I’ve jumped into the pocket of a kangaroo, but I’m not exactly in a place to complain. I’ll take creepy crawlies and slimy spiderwebs any day compared to a flock of fauders. I suck in a breath, hoping they won’t hear me when they stampede past, and I’m surprised when it’s not noisier. There are sounds behind the hole in the trunk, but they are not as loud as I expected.
Have they gone? Did they go into another direction?
Shaking, I curl my fingers around the lip of the hole and look out. My heart’s hammering. If I’m wrong about this I’m no better than a chick in a horror movie. Maybe I should wait a little longer. Just a little longer—