Pieces of Me

by Jacquie Underdown

  The need was too strong. I had to move. And when she sighed, I was lost. In the pleasure, the smell of her slick desire, the crush of my body against hers, the sharp jerk as I pushed into her, again and again and again. A rhythm grew, her pelvis rocking to meet my every thrust. The pleasure intensified, overwhelming me. I needed to come. I was going to come. She clutched at my shoulders, urging me to move harder, faster. She grabbed my hair and tugged my mouth down to hers.

  I hooked her leg over my arm, to get deeper.

  ‘So good,’ she said and tore her mouth from mine to gasp. Her back arched and she breathed heavy. ‘Oh yes, Bear,’ she moaned.

  The way she clenched around me, seeing that beautiful expression, her lips parted, eyes closed as an orgasm shook her, I lost it. Never had I been so overcome. My thrusts hastened, demanding my own pleasure and I exploded inside her like it was the first time I’d ever come in my life. I gave one final push, feeding her the last drop of my release. I held her to me for a long moment, still inside, never wanting to be anywhere else.

  Sex had never been so good. I almost regretted to experience it, because how was I ever going to leave her now.

  I released her leg from over my arm and reluctantly pulled out. She stepped off the step and relaxed against me, letting me hold her in my arms until my breaths lightened, our chests stopped heaving.

  We soon redressed, offering bashful, contented smiles as we did. I untied Penny and we walked back to the car. An easiness and a sense of peace had drifted over us, our conversation relaxed and unrushed.

  When I pulled into her driveway, she looked at me and whispered, ‘Stay the night.’

  I didn’t need to think on the answer. I couldn’t have said no. And when I made love to her that night, slow and intimate, I couldn’t deny the emotions that brewed inside my heart for Hannah. Emotions that had crept up on me and now refused to let go.

  Chapter 43

  Hannah

  I woke to an exquisite sensation of comfort, protection, virility. Bear’s big, lean, naked body was wrapped around me, his stomach to my back. The easy rhythm of his breathing, the rise and fall of his chest rocked me. Desire caressed me, strumming the strings of lust in my guts. My body warmed and swelled in expectation of his intimate touch.

  I pressed my arse, the tiniest fraction against him and he stirred. A louder intake of air, followed by him pushing back and squeezing his arm around my waist. My heart was thudding, my breaths shallow. I was so ready for him, despite having made love twice last night. Once at the pier then again when we got home.

  I could feel his cock growing as his body read all my messages.

  ‘Good morning,’ he whispered and kissed the back of my neck.

  I loved his deep, throaty voice. Sexual energy soared through me, making me want to stretch and tighten my muscles. I pushed back again, pressing my arse cheeks against his now rock solid erection. I was not going to miss this opportunity to satiate my basest needs when a captivating man like Bear was in my bed with a throbbing hard-on.

  His hand roamed along my stomach and waist, up to my breast where he lightly pinched at a nipple. I sighed with complete surrender. He could do anything to me. I was his. His hand disappeared as he grabbed his cock and pushed it right where I wanted it. He rubbed the head along the length of my sex, spreading the wetness. I arched my back, needing more. Up and down, up and down, he slid over my clit, back to my opening, again and again, until I was short of breath, rocking my hips, desperate to have him inside me.

  I pushed him onto his back and straddled his lap. I lowered myself onto his length while looking down at those incredible green eyes—glazed with lust and pleasure. What a face to wake up to. He smiled cheekily and my heart melted.

  A hand on his hard chest, the other on his waist, I rocked, pushing him in and out, my clit reaping the friction of colliding with his pubis. God. I could come already. He cupped my breasts and rolled the nipples between his thumb and fingers and that was enough to undo me. I lowered to him, kissing his mouth, then trailed my lips to his neck. I sucked his flesh. He tasted just as I imagined, like a salty, delicious treat. The room hazed as my head dizzied. A warm rush started in my toes and spread to every cell in my body.

  I sprang back, sitting upright again. My muscles tightened as the pleasure found me deep and consuming. I threw my head back and sighed as sensation rippled through me.

  Bear didn’t take long after that, bucking up into me until he came with a shudder and low, long groan. Breathless, I laid on his big, warm chest. Unable to get off him. Wanting him still inside me. Needing this closeness. I’d never known such yearning.

  A loud knock at the door.

  ‘Oh shit,’ said Bear reaching for his phone on the bedside table. ‘Ten past seven.’

  I sat up while he rolled out of bed. He scurried around, stark naked, collecting his clothes. I took the opportunity to watch him—his toned arse and back, his muscled stomach with that gorgeous V pointing down to his big, long … I met his gaze.

  ‘Find something you like there?’ he asked, eyes narrowed and a cheeky grin spreading over his lips.

  I pressed my teeth to my bottom lip as I flushed.

  Another loud knock. ‘It’s the kitchen guys.’ He threw on his shorts and yanked his t-shirt over his head. ‘I’ll go get them started.’ He raced out the door shutting it behind me.

  I laid back on the bed and rested against my pillows, arm over my forehead. A giggle escaped me. No doubt about it, Bear made me happy. And strangely, that thought forced a pulse of anxiety through my veins.

  After some deep voiced words exchanged, Bear pushed open my bedroom door. He grinned as he eyed me still naked on the bed.

  ‘How can you expect me to want to work when you are looking all sexy like that?’

  I laughed.

  He sat beside me on the bed. ‘I’m going to have to go home and grab some clean work clothes. I’ll take a shower while I’m there, so I’ll be about fifteen minutes.’

  ‘Okay.’

  ‘The kitchen guys know what they’re doing. They’re going to get started without me.’ He leant in to me and pressed his lips to mine. ‘I’ll see you soon.’

  I was editing a sweet contemporary romance. The story ignited emotions, despite the noisy renovations taking place a few doors down from my office. I used to hate these stories because I didn’t believe in happy endings or in the type of love these authors wrote about. Strangely, I was enjoying this one.

  The kitchen was the final room to be finished. Bear would then pack up his tools and no longer be here every morning at seven smelling of the ocean and offering me his smile. I’d fit him into my routine, my life here, more than I’d realised. To be honest, I didn’t know how I’d cope with Bear gone.

  Bear gone?

  It would be permanent soon. Not just from my house, but from Mercy Island all together. My stomach twisted. I guess it was something I was going to have to get used to.

  I turned back to the computer screen and focused on the sentences. But Bear still filled my thoughts. How could he not after the night we had? I didn’t know sex could be so fantastic. And out in the open with the ocean breeze blasting across our hot flesh, the stars gazing down on us. It was so naughty and sensual and exhilarating.

  Last night, Bear had turned on a switch inside of me that opened me up to sensations I never knew existed. Needs, I’d pushed way down into the dark recesses of my bones, had resurfaced.

  When I was a teenager, fourteen or fifteen, I remember that this sexuality, this desire, sparkled through my cells, yearning for the right touch, the right experience to ignite them into roaring fires. I never found it, not with Allister, and they faded into the background. Bear knew where to look, where to touch, suck, press, push.

  I rolled my chair back, stood and shook out my hands. This was more than two one-night stands. More than fulfilling a fantasy of having sex out in the open. What happened between Bear and I was more than checking items off a bucket list. I
knew that, and yet I was useless to resist him, despite the fact that it was going to cause me pain at that point in time when he would say goodbye.

  I sat back down at my desk. Took two calming breaths and forced myself to concentrate on work.

  At five o’clock, Bear stuck his head into my office. He was sweaty, covered in saw dust and glue. He hadn’t shaved and a rough smattering of stubble covered his jaw. The veins in his arms were pronounced from all the heavy lifting during the day.

  ‘You don’t have an operating kitchen. I don’t feel like cooking. Let’s go out for dinner,’ he said.

  I smiled. ‘Sure.’

  ‘Mexican. On the mainland. I’ll drive us.’

  I grinned. ‘Hell yeah.’

  ‘I’m going to head home for a shower, give Becca a call, then I’ll pop back to pick you up.’

  ‘Sounds good.’

  ‘If you want to pack a bag, you can spend the night at my house.’

  I arched a brow.

  His dimples flashed when he grinned mischievously. ‘The kitchen’s still a couple of days away from being finished and …’

  ‘I can function without a kitchen.’

  Again with the cheeky grin. ‘I know. It was the only excuse I could come up with. I’ll see you in an hour.’ And he walked away, his footsteps sounding down the hall.

  Chapter 44

  Bear

  Hannah brought the salt-rimmed shooter glass to her mouth, tipped her head back and swallowed the oyster drowned in tequila. Her face twisted, eyes closed and she shuddered. I laughed aloud.

  Eyelids springing open, she looked at me and grinned. ‘Oh. My. God. That was … I don’t know what that was. Strong. Yummy. A few more of those and I’d be drunk.’

  Hannah was wearing her tight blue dress. Her lips were painted with bright red lipstick and every time I gazed at them, I wanted to lean over the table and kiss her senseless. I was finding it difficult not to pick her up, throw her over my shoulder and drive her home. Total caveman.

  I was better than that, wasn’t I?

  My focus fell to those plump breasts peeking above her low slung collar. I glanced away and shook my head. Apparently not.

  We sat outside on the deck of the restaurant. It was rustic timber. Colourful lanterns were strung along the ceiling. Spanish songs sang in the background through surround speakers. The space was packed with people—boisterous conversation and laughter.

  ‘This is a great little restaurant,’ she said, perusing the menu.

  ‘Not as good as those in Melbourne though, hey?’

  Blue eyes found mine. ‘As good as anything I’ve been to.’ She peered around and smiled. ‘In fact, I think the atmosphere is better. Besides, I never did quite fit in to that scene. Mercy Island is more my style.’

  ‘Glad to hear it.’

  ‘And the weather is so much better. Do you think I could wear this out at night in Melbourne without taking a jacket, an umbrella, and a scarf just in case?’

  ‘That I’m especially happy about.’

  She laughed and waved her hand at me. ‘You’re a flirt.’

  We ordered tapas-sized plates of tacos, enchiladas and tortillas and shared them.

  ‘So you’ve crossed a few items off your list now.’ I winked. ‘And a couple done twice for good measure.’

  She grinned bashfully, her face flushing. ‘Yes, like wearing this dress out. I’ve done that a couple of times.’

  I laughed. ‘You’ve inspired me to start thinking about what I’d really like to do.’

  Her brows arched. ‘Is that right?’

  I nodded. ‘I’d like to read more about things I’m unfamiliar with. But for pleasure—philosophy, ancient religions. Stuff like that. I also want to visit all the best surfing spots in the world.’

  ‘Sounds perfect. I thought of one similar to that.’

  I picked up a minced pork taco and took a bite. ‘What is it?’

  ‘I want to visit all the top restaurants in the world. And drink at all the best coffee houses. Then I want to visit the little side-street restaurants that only the locals know about.’

  I laughed. ‘That’ll be an expensive trip. I’ve heard what those top restaurants charge.’

  ‘But it would be totally worth it. I’ve already started saving again.’ She took a drink of her beer. ‘You’re already going to surfing spots on your holiday, aren’t you?’

  I nodded. ‘Yeah. A couple. Mainly wanted to check out St Tropez and South Africa.’

  ‘I’ve always wanted to visit South Africa too. Not for the surfing, though. You’d never get me near those shark infested reefs.’

  ‘Why then?’

  ‘The animals. The beauty. I blame Wilbur Smith. His books made me fall in love with the country.’ She focused on the table and sighed. ‘Will it make me happy, though? Or is it commercialism at work here, selling me dreams of happiness. Saying I need that holiday to feel good about my life.’

  I shrugged. ‘I guess if you are doing what you enjoy.’

  She laughed. ‘Well I love eating.’

  I laughed along with her. ‘And I love surfing.’

  ‘Ignore me,’ she said, waving her hand dismissively. ‘You’ll soon learn that I think way too deeply about absolutely everything.’ She held up her beer. ‘Particularly if I’ve had a few of these.’

  ‘It’s good to question why you do something.’

  She nodded. ‘Exactly. Yes. That’s a much better way of saying I’m a neurotic over-thinker.’

  I laughed.

  We finished our meals and headed to the car park. The restaurant had cleared out, though a few small parties lingered. I took Hannah’s hand and walked her to my car. All I could see were those perfectly painted lips. All I could think about was kissing that lipstick off.

  The air was crackling between us as we lingered near her side of the car. I didn’t open the door for her yet. I couldn’t wait an entire ride home without touching her.

  ‘You, Hannah, are the most beautiful woman,’ I said, edging her back against the car with my body, my fingers cupping her face. She peered up at me with those bright blue eyes and I was lost.

  I pressed my lips to hers, lingering at her mouth. As I went to move away, unsure if I started to kiss her proper I’d be able to stop, she pushed her fingers through my hair and pulled me down to her. Our lips met again, warm and fierce, our tongues tasting each other. ‘Oh, Hannah, there’s not one single moment I don’t need you.’ The words were too honest, but they’d fallen from my lips before I’d given them a thought.

  Hannah whispered, her lips still brushing across mine. ‘Me too.’

  I kissed her harder, deeper, seeking more and more from her. Needing that. But then she stiffened. Pulled back. She shook her head as she looked up at me.

  ‘What?’ I asked, my heart thumping hard.

  She shook her head again. ‘I’m sorry, I can’t do this. We shouldn’t be doing this.’

  I reached for her, but she moved her hand away.

  ‘No, Bear,’ she said with such heart-breaking anguish, ‘You’re leaving.’ Her words were like a slap to the face. ‘What will I do when you’re gone?’ She pressed her hand to her chest, her shoulders rolling inwards. ‘I’m falling in love with a man that won’t be here for me. This will end. This will end badly, and, to be honest, I can’t deal with that. I can’t handle that.’

  I gasped at her words. She was falling in love with me. Guilt thrummed in my guts and heart. As much as I didn’t want to admit it, how much my body tried to tell my head to disregard what she had said, I couldn’t, because she was right. I was leaving. And we’d already let it go way too far. But what if I told her that I was falling for her too? That I was indecisive about leaving. That I was … I mentally punched myself in the face. What? Waiting to see if it worked out for me and if it did, then I’d stay and if it didn’t then I’d be on my merry way. What a royal fucking prick I am.

  ‘I’m sorry, Hannah. My intention wasn’t to hurt y
ou …’

  A tear rolled down her cheek, but she wiped it away. ‘Can you please drop me home?’

  I rubbed my hands over my face and sighed. ‘Of course.’

  Chapter 45

  Hannah

  I pulled Penny onto my lap and patted her head. I flicked the television on; I didn’t care what was playing, it was mindless background noise.

  ‘Just you and me now, Penny.’

  She looked up at me with amber eyes and her tongue half out the side of her mouth. It was better this way. I’d fallen too hard, too fast, and if I kept going I would have been smothered by Bear, incapable of ever resurfacing.

  So why did it feel so damn hard to let go? Because I let myself get wrapped up in him, rely on him, and need him.

  I stroked Penny’s soft fur, comforted by her even panting. This was simple. Me, Penny, my house. Bear played on my emotions. Made me feel things, good and bad.

  When he kissed me against the car, I was so lost in him. So far gone. The way he cradled my face and spoke to me like I was everything in his universe and I felt as though perhaps I was. I had thought to myself—I’m falling in love with this magnificent man. And that’s when my foundations shook as though an earthquake had struck below my feet and was swallowing me whole. Because I wasn’t everything in his universe, not at all. I was falling in love with a man that didn’t feel the same way. And that scared me to my core.

  I knew I had agreed to take things further with Bear for the sake of checking items off my bucket list. But I never expected to fall this hard and fast. And for what? For him to walk away without a care in the world. I’d had six years of emotional torment; I was not setting myself up for more. I would not let myself love the wrong man again.

  I reached for my cup of tea on the side table. As I brought it to my lips, I noticed my hand was shaking. It had been a while since my body had reacted this way. An indication I was scared again. I didn’t need any more fear in my life, that’s why Bear had to go.