Beautiful Illusion

by Jacquie Underdown

Caitlin’s breaths grew heavier.

  “Cait, don’t stress yourself out over this,” I hissed. “Brennan is a lovely guy; you should hear why he’s in here to start with. He actually saved some poor girl from being kidnapped…”

  “I don’t care if he’s Jesus Christ. There’s such a thing as protocol, privacy, and basic human rights, and this hospital’s in breach of them all.” She leant down, closer to my ear, and whispered, “He could be a serial rapist and you’d never know it until he got you one night while you were asleep.”

  “Cait, he’s not a bloody rapist,” I said, gritting my teeth. “He’s a lovely guy, so please, drop it.”

  “Yeah, haven’t you heard enough times to never judge a book by its cover?”

  I couldn’t help but wonder if there was a note of accusation in her tone, but I dismissed the notion as imagination. I silently pleaded with Dad for help, but he had turned his body in the direction of the door; he was as uncomfortable as I, and seemed to want to make a run for it.

  “Thanks for dropping in, Dad, Cait. I don’t mean to be rude, but I’m exhausted and want to take a shower before dinner arrives. I haven’t had one in over a day now.”

  “Of course, honey,” Dad said. “I understand if you’re tired. I need to get home anyway.”

  “I shouldn’t have even bothered coming in the first place,” Caitlin huffed, picking up her Louis Vuitton handbag from the chair and slinging it over her shoulder. “Give me a call when they let you out of here.”

  “Sure, Cait,” I said.

  We said our goodbyes quickly. Dad gave me a peck on the cheek and they left as the nurse finished her check on Brennan.

  I slumped back against the bed, arms folded over my chest, and released a loud sigh of self-pity. Before I could try to stop them, tears escaped my eyes, leaving wet tracks on my cheeks. Brennan rested his novel on his bed and joined me at my bedside. I kept my head down and wiped at my eyes with the sheet. I hated people seeing me cry.

  “I know that devil woman is your sister and all, but she’s not worth crying over.”

  I nodded, finally building up the courage to look at him. “I know,” I said. “But it’s not just her, I think it’s all that has happened—the accident, the concussion—she was the final straw,” I choked, a fresh batch of awkward tears welling.

  Brennan extended his hand towards mine, as though he had done it a hundred times before. When I could feel the warmth of his hand near mine, my fingers twitched with the anticipation of his touch. But he seemed to change his mind. He moved his hand towards my shoulder, stopped only inches from my skin before letting his hand drop by his side. “Why don’t you go and have a nice long shower, get all those tears out,” he said.

  I nodded, sniffling, disappointed that he didn’t feel comfortable enough to soothe me physically and, at the same time, bewildered by how my body had reacted so intensely in expectation of his fingertips against my skin.

  “And then when you come out, the dinner cart should be here and we can watch Neighbours together while we devour our hospital stodge. Then,” he said. “I might have a little something else you might like.”

  I wiped my nose as discreetly as I could and asked, “Yeah? What is it?”

  “An entire block of white chocolate rocky-road.”

  I sighed. “I can’t eat all your chocolate stash, Brennan.”

  “You most certainly can. Now go in there and have a shower. I’ll see you when you get out.”

  I wiped the few remaining tears from my eyes and smiled. “You’re going to have to turn around when I get up.”

  He lowered his brow, confused.

  “I have the same problem with my hospital attire you had earlier. Only I’m not as comfortable with showing you my arse as you were with me.”

  “Oh,” he said with a chuckle. “Of course. I won’t peek. Promise.”

  Chapter 4

  Brennan was meeting with the doctor one final time this morning before being discharged. His appearance exceeded my expectations. He was unassumingly dressed in a pair of jeans and a white, printed T. His luscious black hair, now fully visible, except for a small shaved patch where he had received stitches, made his eyes appear bluer than ever. If that was possible.

  I offered him a smile, hoping to mask the subtle disappointment that after today I would never see him again.

  “So you’re finally rid of me,” he said, returning my smile.

  “Truthfully, I think I’ll miss you being around. Who will I have to cheer me up with chocolate and pester me with questions?”

  He frowned. “That is a bit of a dilemma, isn’t it? But I’ve thought ahead.”

  “What do you mean?”

  Once again he reached into the top drawer of his bedside table and retrieved a plastic bag. He assumed his regular place on the end of my bed and upended the bag onto the blanket, revealing a small box of chocolates.

  “For you,” he said with a wink. “Think of me while you eat them.”

  “I couldn’t.”

  “You can and you will. They’re my gift to you.”

  I smiled. “Thank you. You’ve been wonderful company. I honestly mean that.”

  He gazed back at me with that gorgeous, crooked smile. “I’ve still got two questions, right?”

  “You do.”

  He nodded. “I’d like to ask you them now. If that’s alright.”

  “Do I have a choice?”

  “Nope.” He set his beautiful blue eyes on me and drew a deep breath in before huskily asking, “Can I have your phone number?”

  I tried all methods of self-control to hide the fact that my heart skipped a beat and my breath was stolen from my throat. Inside, I was screaming with delight, but to Brennan I allowed only a quick smile. “Sure.”

  He grinned and pulled his mobile from the back pocket of his board shorts. I watched him, his face concentrating as he navigated through his phone and keyed in my digits. My eyes came to rest on his enticing full lips, slightly upturned into a half-smile. I wondered what it would be like to lean over and press my lips against his, to feel his warm breath, to taste him, so gently. He lifted his head and looked at my face, interrupting my beautiful daydream. His smile widened.

  I hastily sat up straight and refocused my eyes. “Um, so you have one more question,” I said.

  “Yes, one final question.” He shuffled his body closer to me and my heart began to gallop. He reached for my hand and threaded his fingers between mine. His warmth and strength made my hand tingle. Tendrils of pleasure spread upwards along the length of my arm. I drew a shuddering breath.

  With his free hand, he stroked a finger gently down my cheek. This simple act left a trail of heat that ignited a desire, deep inside, to have his hands explore every inch of my body. He gripped the hair at nape of my neck, drew me closer, his face nearer. My lips had parted unthinkingly in anticipation of his kiss. My entire body was thrumming, my stomach tumbling, and heart beating out of control. My breath was heavy, as was his. I yearned for him to kiss me.

  Voice a sexy whisper, he said, “Can I kiss you, Leah?”

  I didn’t answer. Instead, I closed the gap between us until my lips pressed against his. Instinct took over and our lips moved together; our tongues tasted each other for the first time. His lips were warm, fleshy and sensual; my body was crackling. Alive.

  I grabbed his waist and wrenched him towards me. He eagerly obliged, edging closer on the bed. I wrapped my arms around his body, feeling the hard muscles of his back and stomach as he kissed me deeper, his hands moving tenderly over my thighs, my waist; pulling softly on the hair at my nape.

  Sooner than I wanted, or needed, he drew away and looked at me. He framed my face with large hands and said with unwavering conviction, “I wanted to ask that question first, before any of the others, but I was afraid I wouldn’t have received the answer I was hoping for.”

  “You’ve wanted to kiss me since that first day?”

  He shook his head. “I’ve wanted t
o kiss you since the first moment I saw you.”

  Footsteps echoed nearby, and the silence of the room was interrupted by Alex’s booming voice. “Still chatting up the other patients, I see.”

  Brennan’s hands fell to his lap and he smiled sheepishly at his brother. I was certain my cheeks were the colour of Ayers Rock, and just as hot.

  Alex laughed. “I think I hit the nail on the head that time. You two? What’ve you been up to?”

  Brennan stood, walked to his bed. Talking over his shoulder, he said to Alex, “Thanks for coming in to get me today, mate. I really appreciate it.”

  “Hey, what am I good for if not to taxi you around the place? What about you, Leah? When’s your sentence up?”

  “The doctor said I should be able to go home tomorrow.”

  “Excellent.”

  “So, Bren, mate. When’s this doctor going to grace us with his presence so we can get out of here? People to see, money to make, you know how it is.”

  Chapter 5

  I anticipated after Brennan was discharged that time would slow down to a languid march, but it did the opposite. In a sliver of time, the morning had arrived and I was due to be released. I couldn’t grasp what was happening to my world. Residue from my concussion, or the kiss, made my surroundings seem almost dreamlike and ethereal. Only some people and situations seemed real.

  I had my bandages removed and received my final check by Doctor Boring before being discharged. My housemate, Danni, had offered to drive me home to the apartment we have shared for the last two years.

  As we made our way through the city streets, I was pleased to see people, buildings and trees rather than four white walls and a string of nurses. I was grateful to feel the sun warming my skin through the car windows, and to be breathing in the natural, fresh air, rather than the stale, chilly air-conditioning.

  I pawed a hand through my hair, thought about the doctor unwinding my bandages earlier that morning and discovering that I still had most of my hair intact. A small patch had been shaved into my head where I had received ten tightly bound stitches, but after a smaller covering was applied and a few minutes spent in front of the mirror, I managed to hide the shaved area.

  Danni turned to me as we pulled to a stop at the red lights, completely unassuming and subtly beautiful with her lashings of wavy black hair and amber eyes hidden behind thick-rimmed glasses.

  “How are you feeling about being in a car again after the accident?” she asked.

  “Fine, to tell you the truth.” Yet I felt as though that was the wrong answer. Should I be feeling afraid, petrified even?

  “Straight back into the saddle and all that. It’s the best thing for you.”

  I smiled. “As long as the saddle isn’t being rammed by a semi into the path of an ambulance.”

  She chuckled. “Of course.”

  ***

  We arrived home. I was glad to step through the front door of my apartment, but home felt different somehow, as though there was more space. I glanced over the room, but everything was as it was before the accident. Except for one thing. Beyond the lounge, past the paintings that adorned the walls, I saw a box sitting on the dining table, a shiny red blob of paint on a sad grey canvas. I raced to it, lifted the gold-wrapped gift into my arms and turned to Danni, smiling.

  “When did this arrive?”

  She laughed. “This morning. It’s for you. Open it.”

  I began untying the perfect red bow and ribbon, but quickly progressed to ripping at the paper and revealing my gift: a square box of Belgian chocolate truffles and a note. I unfolded the white paper.

  ‘New question: can I repeat question 5? Brennan.’

  I closed my eyes, drew a deep breath of air into my lungs and smiled.

  “What does it say?” asked Danni.

  I handed her the note and let her read it for herself.

  Her eyes narrowed. “Who’s Brennan?”

  I told her all about him, about how we met and about how we said goodbye—with the most incredible kiss.

  “Oh. My. God,” she said, each word separate, succinct. “He is really forward, isn’t he? I couldn’t cope with that.”

  I rolled my eyes and snatched the note from her fingers. “You can’t cope if a guy is backwards, Danni. I like his forthrightness. It’s alluring. And besides, it saves me from having to be.”

  “Are you going to give him a call?”

  I nodded. “I should thank him for the truffles.”

  Danni groaned. “I feel nervous for you,” she said as I rummaged through my bag for my mobile.

  “Danni, you’re a hopeless case.”

  “Sorry, sorry. I know. It’s no wonder I’m single. But, in all seriousness, if you’re going to call him, I’m going to have to leave the room.”

  I laughed. “I’ll let you know when I’m finished.”

  Danni deserted me for the sanctity of her bedroom and I dialled the number on the bottom of the card. My stomach was in knots, despite my attempts to be blasé for Danni. The phone connected in the middle of the first ring.

  “Leah, I was waiting for you to call,” came Brennan’s familiar voice. Instantly, my apprehension was transformed into a warm, tingling contentedness.

  “Hi, Brennan. How are you?”

  “I’m doing well. Glad to be out of that god-forsaken hospital. And even better now that you’ve called. I assume you got my gift okay?”

  “I did. Thank-you.”

  “How do you feel about my new question?”

  “I liked it. I’m looking forward to answering it.”

  He laughed. “When would you like to catch up for a Q and A? I’m free tonight, if that’s not too soon.”

  My stomach flipped and tightened. “Tonight? I was thinking of cooking Indian tonight to make up for deserting my housemate, Danni, all week. Why don’t you join us?”

  “To make up for deserting her? Doesn’t she realise you’ve been in hospital?”

  “Of course she does. A normal night at home is as beneficial for me as it is for her,” I said.

  “Indian food, hey?”

  “I make a mean rogan josh.”

  “You know Indian food is one of my favourites.”

  “Is there anything that’s not your favourite?”

  “Not really,” he said, laughing. “Are you sure I’m not intruding, though?”

  “No, it will be fine. It’ll give me a chance to show off my kitchen repertoire.”

  “What time do you want me over?”

  I organised a time with Brennan, and we said our goodbyes.

  “Danni!” I called.

  She rushed out of her bedroom and grinned. “So what happened?”

  “He’s coming over for dinner tonight.”

  “What? Here?”

  “You don’t mind do you?”

  She fidgeted. “Um. No. Of course not. As long as you don’t expect me to talk too much. You know how I am with people I don’t know.”

  “I know exactly how you are. But don’t worry, Brennan is easy-going. You won’t feel uncomfortable at all.”

  Danni studied me for a short moment; she saw the outward signs of my inner sensations of bliss. “You really like this guy, don’t you?”

  I nodded. “Yeah. I think I do.”

  Chapter 6

  I spent the afternoon preparing lamb rogan josh and chicken korma from scratch. I had barely stepped out of the shower when the doorbell rang. He was early, and I wasn’t dressed! Danni was going to have to suck it up and keep Brennan entertained until I got out there.

  I threw on some underwear, a pair of jeans, and a white singlet. I tied my hair into a loose side plait, hung it over my right shoulder so my bald patch would be less conspicuous, and applied a touch of mascara and lip gloss.

  I drew a deep breath in, squared my shoulders, and went to the lounge. Danni and Brennan were sitting on the couch, chatting about his daring feat: saving a young girl from the charges of a sadistic abductor. Danni didn’t seem un
comfortable at all, a smile sat comfortably on her face. She was casually leaning towards him as he divulged more details about the incident. I giggled. He had obviously worked his charm successfully on Danni in the short fifteen minutes since he arrived.

  Typical. He would have flaunted his cheeky, lopsided grin and now she’s putty in his hands.

  Brennan raised his head to me and smiled. The sight of him again, looking gorgeous in a pair of jeans and a black printed T-shirt, made my heart flutter. He joined me in the middle of the room, took my hand, and pressed his lips lightly against my cheek lingering longer than I anticipated. So close to me, I couldn’t but notice his height, his imposing build. His presence of body dominated me. His warmth and scent permeated the space between us. I wanted to turn my cheek so it was my lips he was pressing his mouth against. I wanted to push my body into his and trace my hands over the hard slopes of his body. My breath hesitated in my throat as he drew away.

  “Hi, Leah. How are you?”

  I smiled, unable to do much else. I was too happy to see him; strangely happy and strangely alive. “Good, Brennan. You?”

  “Excellent. You look great. And it’s nice to not have to avert my eyes while you’re standing,” he said, alluding to our unavoidable costume malfunctions in hospital.

  I could feel the heat across my cheeks. “I agree. You’ve obviously met Danni?”

  He nodded. “She’s been very hospitable.”

  Danni’s cheeks were a beautiful blush. I laughed; she was well and truly under his charm.

  “Brennan, can I make you a drink? A beer, wine, coffee?”

  “I’ll have a beer, please.”

  “A glass of wine, Danni?”

  “Are you?” she asked.

  “Yeah.”

  “Then yes, please.”

  My stomach tightened when Brennan offered to help. I wanted to be alone with him. I craved his kiss.

  I tried to busy myself in the kitchen, bustling around, finding wine glasses. I avoided eye contact, an attempt to suppress my desire and the gentle flush on my cheeks. Before I had the second wine glass out the cupboard, Brennan was at my side, taking my hand in his. He lifted my chin, that twinkle of lust I had seen at the hospital sparkling in his blue eyes.