Promise to Obey

by Whitelaw, Stella

  Lily was instantly diverted. ‘Floppy Ears has been extremely naughty this morning already. He wouldn’t clean his teeth and he wouldn’t wash his ears. He’s not going to get any breakfast.’

  ‘That rabbit has a hard life,’ said Lucas. ‘Shall I take him to the hospital with me as a punishment?’

  Lily looked aghast. ‘Oh no, he has to stay here. He has to keep Grandmother company while I go to school. That’s his job.’

  ‘Does your grandmother know this?’

  ‘Yes, I ‘plained it to her.’

  ‘And what did she say?’

  ‘She said she would put him in a cupboard and shut the door when he was naughty.’

  Jessica took the opportunity to slip out of bed and put on her bathrobe. Lucas caught a tantalizing glimpse of her bare back, the curve of her spine, her hair falling over her shoulders.

  ‘I’ll go downstairs and make some tea. Everyone will be awake by now, all this racket going on.’

  ‘Early morning tea in bed,’ teased Lucas. ‘I am being spoilt. Shall I get this service every morning?’

  ‘No,’ said Jessica. ‘You’ll be in the cupboard with Floppy Ears.’

  They started laughing, their eyes warm with love. They could not take their eyes off each other. Lily joined in the laughter though she was not sure what she was laughing at.

  Lucas had to go to the hospital. He had a list that morning and Maggie was still a concern. Laughter united them. He could not stop touching Jessica, loving every moment that she smiled at him. It was going to be all right. One day they would talk about it all, but now was not the time.

  Jessica’s arm encircled his waist as he ate some toast and marmalade standing up. Lucas was going, after the briefest of breakfasts in the kitchen.

  ‘Tomorrow,’ he said, ‘I am going to take you out, firstly with a call to see young Maggie. When did you last have a day off?’

  ‘I’ve never had a day off,’ said Jessica, enjoying the consternation on his face. ‘My employer forgot about days off. He’s mean with days off. I’ve had a few hours off, but you could hardly call them a day.’

  ‘Then I shall have to do something about that before you sue me or report me to some union. Do you belong to a union?’

  ‘Of course, I do,’ said Jessica.

  ‘Tomorrow I want you to come with me,’ said Lucas. ‘It’s very important. Can you arrange for Mrs Harris to stay the whole day? Lady Grace is so much better. She can cope, can’t she?’

  ‘She’s got the trusty Fred.’

  He was gone before Jessica could even say another word. His kiss was brief but permanent. It would last until he came home in the evening. Jessica knew she would love him for the rest of her life.

  The morning rolled into its usual routine. Daniel seemed none the worse for his adventure. He did not share his feelings. He did not mention taking the seaweed back to the sea. But everyone knew that something had changed in the household.

  ‘Nice to see you smiling,’ said Lady Grace, over her breakfast tray.

  ‘Has his lordship come to his senses?’ said Mrs Harris. ‘And about time too, if you ask me. We don’t want to lose you, none of us does.’

  ‘It was difficult for him,’ said Jessica, not wanting to give away what had happened. ‘But I think it’s going to be all right now. I hope so. I can’t go through any more.’

  ‘We women always manage somehow,’ said Mrs Harris, reminding Jessica of how she had managed for years, through love, to keep going.

  ‘I couldn’t do it.’

  ‘You would, if you had to. Believe me, you would. Lots of women do.’

  Mrs Harris nodded firmly but she could not conceal her delight.

  ‘I wonder if it would it be possible for you to stay all day tomorrow?’ Jessica asked. ‘Lucas wants to take me somewhere. I don’t know where, but he says it’s rather important.’

  ‘Of course,’ said Mrs Harris. ‘About time too. Lady Grace will be all right. She has that friend of hers coming to play bridge. Nice gentleman. Nice manners. I’ll do them a bit of supper.’

  ‘Thank you so much,’ said Jessica, giving her a quick hug. ‘You’re a star.’

  ‘More a burnt-out planet at my age,’ said Mrs Harris.

  Lucas was home early for once. The children ran to him, urging him to play cricket, What’s the Time, Mr Wolf? and hopscotch. Tea was in the kitchen. It had turned too cold to eat outside. The table was laden with a healthy tea.

  Lucas sauntered over to Jessica, his eyes sharp and bright. ‘I was expecting to find you all wet,’ he said, picking at the hem of her T-shirt. He bent and kissed her gently.

  ‘Not a hope,’ said Jessica.

  ‘Later?’

  ‘Don’t count on your chances.’

  It was an evening of enchantment. Daniel still drawing pictures of trees and rain, getting the nightmare storm out of his mind. He didn’t seem to mind that the seaweed was living in a bucket. Jessica promised that they would take it back at the weekend. Lily was reading a story to Floppy Ears, which made a change. She knew the words by heart.

  Lucas and Jessica went for a walk, leaving the rose garden and taking a path towards the Downs. He held her hand easily as if they belonged together.

  Jessica saw the South Downs as he loved them, sweeping fields dotted with sheep. Hills with sturdy knolls of trees, those left from Henry VIII’s deforestation, when trees were cut down to build his ships of war.

  Lucas showed her corn circles from the top of the Downs. Where they came from, no one knew, but they were there for all the world to see far below. Great overlapping circles, patterned in the cornfield.

  ‘Aren’t they amazing? Even if they are made here, overnight, by some fun group of people after a few bottles of cider, they are still a work of art.’

  Jessica had never seen corn circles before, apart from photographs in newspapers, and they were indeed strangely mesmerizing. She clung to Lucas’s arm. ‘It’s lovely to see them, wherever they come from.’

  ‘Is tomorrow still on?’ she asked, as they began the walk back to Upton Hall. Mrs Harris had agreed to stay for the day. There was no reason why Jessica could not have the time off.

  Lucas nodded. ‘We’ll go to see Maggie first. She’s looking forward to meeting you. I’ve told her all about you and she’s quite excited about having a visitor. Her grandmother has never been able to make the journey. The nurses make a fuss of her, but they don’t have a lot of spare time.’

  ‘Poor girl. How sad. I’ve some of Lily’s toys and both children have made cards for her. Daniel wants to give her one of his drawings.’

  ‘Then I’m taking you somewhere else, but I won’t tell you about that until we get there. It’s somewhere quite special.’

  They reached the gate into the grounds of Upton Hall. They wandered through the rose garden, the night air still heady with the scent of rose.

  ‘Come into my garden,’ said Lucas. ‘I want my roses to see you.’

  EIGHTEEN

  It was a cloudy morning and although Lucas said they were going somewhere special, Jessica did not think her smart suit was right for the occasion. Instead she put on her indigo jeans and a long-sleeved white sweater. There was a nip in the air.

  ‘No need to dress up when you are going out with me,’ said Lucas with a straight face.

  ‘They are my best jeans,’ said Jessica.

  ‘I suppose that’s something.’

  She held out her left hand. The sapphire twinkled on her finger. ‘And this is my best ring,’ she added.

  ‘Now that’s really something,’ he said, his eyes raking over her gently. ‘I’m so glad you are going to share my life. I need you and I love you.’

  ‘All this love talk before breakfast?’ Jessica teased. ‘I could get used to it.’

  ‘Let’s skip breakfast and do something more interesting,’ he suggested.

  ‘Not a good example to the children,’ said Jessica.

  Lucas almost said damn the children but
held back. The children were arriving in the kitchen for their breakfast. Lily had her school shirt on inside-out and Daniel’s jersey was on back to front.

  ‘So much for letting them dress themselves,’ said Jessica, sorting them out.

  They all sat down together round the big kitchen table. A real family. Muesli and fruit, scrambled eggs, toast and honey. Mrs Harris was beaming. It felt as if they were her own family. They were her family.

  ‘We’re going to see Maggie in hospital this morning,’ Jessica told the children. ‘I’ve got your cards and Lily’s toys and the lovely drawing from Daniel. Then this evening I will tell you all about it. I’m sure Maggie will be pleased. You see, she hasn’t had any visitors.’

  ‘You could take Floppy Ears,’ volunteered Lily, making another ultimate sacrifice. ‘He could be a visitor for Maggie.’

  ‘How about another time?’ said Lucas. ‘Floppy Ears might be a bit tongue-tied going to a hospital.’

  Lily looked relieved. ‘He wouldn’t like having his tongue-tied.’

  Once the children were on the school bus, Jessica and Lucas could leave. She made sure that Lady Grace was up, doing her exercises, and promising to come downstairs.

  ‘For goodness sake, stop fussing, girl. I can get myself downstairs by now. Go and enjoy your day off. I shall be glad to have a day’s peace from your nagging.’ Lady Grace was back on form. But there was little edge to her voice.

  Jessica could not believe it when they were driving away from Upton Hall in the Porsche. It was too chilly to have the hood down. It reminded her of when Lucas had picked her up from the station, all those weeks ago. When she had felt drawn to him, despite wanting to turn round and catch a train back to London.

  ‘So Maggie first?’ said Jessica.

  ‘And I have a few patients to look at before we can have a spot of lunch.’

  ‘So not exactly a whole day off for you?’

  ‘It’s the whole afternoon off for me. You’ll understand when we get there. Trust me, Jessica. Soon it will all become clear. I’m trusting you, my sweetheart. You will understand everything soon.’

  Jessica felt the intensity behind his words. This was no day off for fun and laughter and a boozy pub lunch. It was something more serious.

  He drove more moderately. It was not one of his twenty-minute manic speed journeys to the hospital. The random buildings loomed ahead. They were serious hospital buildings, where Lucas worked and put faces back together. He had his own parking space.

  Jessica was at home in the hospital environment. It didn’t throw her. She recognized the smells, the hygiene, the silence in some areas. Her feet echoed along the corridors even though she was in her flat pumps.

  ‘I’ll introduce you to Maggie and then leave you,’ said Lucas. ‘These are my wards.’

  Maggie had a side room. She was in a single bed with tubes attached to nose and mouth, feeding her both nourishment and liquid. Her face was heavily bandaged. The dogs had torn her mouth and arm. But her brown eyes shone brightly at the sight of a visitor.

  ‘Hi, Maggie,’ said Lucas. ‘Jessica has come to visit you. She’s the lovely young woman who looks after my two children. She’s come to read you some stories.’

  Lucas waved and left them together. Jessica sat beside Maggie. There was not much of Maggie showing, but Jessica found a hand. It was small and soft.

  ‘Hello, Maggie. I’m Jessica. Lucas has told me all about how brave you are and I am so sorry about what happened.. But you will get better because Lucas is a wonderful doctor and he will do everything possible for you.’

  Maggie had difficulty in talking. Her mouth was stitched up where the dogs had torn it. She would need plastic surgery to give her a normal, pretty mouth again.

  ‘’Lo,’ she said, her eyes smiling. ‘Story?’

  She squeezed Jessica’s hand. It was a touching moment.

  ‘Lots of stories,’ said Jessica. ‘I’ve brought lots of books. I’ll choose one, then you choose one. Is that all right?’

  Maggie nodded, delighted. She snuggled down in bed, her eyes on Jessica and the open book.

  The morning fled. At some point, coffee arrived for Jessica and juice with a straw for Maggie. By then, they were firm friends. Maggie loved the cards from the children and she insisted that Daniel’s shell drawing should be pinned on the wall. She was not so sure about Lily’s toys. She liked the soft, rag doll with braided yellow hair, a pinafore dress and white socks and shoes.

  ‘Baby,’ she said, pushing the other toys away.

  Jessica understood. Maggie was quite a grown-up five-year-old. It came from living with a much older person, her grandmother. She didn’t have the same five-year-old bounce of Lily or the same tastes. She was much nearer in age to Daniel, especially as she now had difficulty in speaking.

  Leaving Maggie was a wrench. Jessica was sorry when Lucas came to take her away. She knew she must not become attached to his patients but it was so difficult when it was a vulnerable child.

  ‘I’ll come again,’ she promised, as they clung to each other.

  ‘Please, please …’ said Maggie.

  ‘I promise,’ said Jessica, near to tears herself.

  Out in the corridor, Jessica needed a few minutes to compose herself. She had not realized that she would become emotionally involved.

  ‘Not easy, is it?’ said Lucas, taking her arm and walking her away. ‘How do you think I feel?’

  ‘I don’t know how you do it. Maggie is a lovely little girl. I feel so sorry for her. I’ll come again, of course, if I can.’

  ‘Maggie will need a few weeks convalescing after the next operation to sort out her mouth so that she can talk and eat unassisted. Her grandmother would not be able to cope with her diet. How do you feel about having Maggie come to stay at Upton Hall, have fun with Daniel and Lily, be a normal child for a few weeks?’

  Lucas was looking at her, full of respect, his words a trap. His kiss was only a breath away.

  ‘Of course,’ said Jessica. ‘Maggie must come to Upton Hall. I will look after her. She will have a lovely time, perhaps regain what it’s like being a child.’

  Daniel might find it interesting to meet someone else who had trouble talking, and Lily would bounce Maggie back into childhood fun, show her the joy of running about, doing silly things.

  Lucas folded Jessica into his arms, the outside world vanishing for the two of them.

  ‘How about that boozy pub lunch?’ asked Lucas, at last.

  The boozy pub lunch was all that Jessica could have asked for. Two glasses of excellent Merlot went down well and rather fast. A jacket potato with grated cheese and a side salad was the perfect lunch. It was all that Jessica wanted. Lucas had a beer and a ploughman’s. Sitting opposite Jessica was all he wanted.

  The pub was a cosy, Sussex/Surrey pub. Oak beams and rafters, old hunting prints on the walls, a real log fire already burning in the hearth. Jessica was not sure which county they were in but it did not matter. Surely Lucas had no more surprises which could destroy their happiness?

  He leaned over the table and clasped her hands in his. ‘We have one more thing to do today,’ he said. ‘It may be very hard for both of us, but it has to be done. Our future happiness depends on this, and, oh my darling, I do so want us to be happy together.’

  ‘Good heavens,’ said Jessica, shaken. ‘Where are you taking me? Newgate Prison or Tyburn? People were hanged at both places.’

  Lucas let go her hands and sat back in his chair, staring at the ceiling. ‘It was easier in those days to get rid of unwanted people.’

  She did not understand what he meant. She did not want to know.

  They both had black coffees. Lucas because he was driving, Jessica because she wanted to be alert for whatever was ahead. What could be worse than seeing a five-year-old girl with tubes going in everywhere and hardly able to speak?

  They drove through the rolling Surrey countryside. It was different to Sussex, more controlled, more sculptured, trees i
n staged groups as if being used for a television drama set. They turned in at a driveway, heavy iron gates opened for them after Lucas spoke to the man on duty. He was in a green uniform, belted. Surely it wasn’t a prison?

  Lucas seemed to know the way without any directions. He parked in an area marked for visitors. Ahead of them was a rambling two-storey white building with what looked like a chapel at the far end. Jessica caught the glint of a stained-glass window. There were gardens and flower beds and people strolling about in pairs.

  ‘You have to tell me,’ she said. ‘It’s not fair. Where are we?’

  ‘This is a sanatorium for the permanently disabled,’ he said. ‘It used to be a convent called Saint Agatha’s, I think. There are still nuns. Follow me.’

  He did not take her hand this time but seemed wrapped in his own thoughts.

  Jessica kept close to him in case he abandoned her, here in the wilds of Surrey, with no idea how to get back to Upton Hall.

  The reception area was cool and empty, except for a vase of flowers and a strong smell of polish. No comfortable furniture, no paintings on the walls. Lucas went straight to the desk and signed in. He seemed to know what he was doing.

  ‘This way,’ he said, pointing towards the stairs. The oak treads had also been polished. They went along a wide corridor, doors either side with numbers. Again no decoration of any kind, only the occasional vase of flowers on a wall bracket.

  He stopped outside room 24. He did not knock but went straight in.

  Jessica followed him. It was a simply furnished room, plain white walls with flowered curtains framing a large window that looked out onto the garden. The bed was surrounded by pulleys and hoists which Jessica knew were only used for the severely disabled. A wash-basin was fitted in a corner. There was no television, no armchair, no table or bookcase.

  Facing the window and the garden was a wheelchair. Jessica could only see the back of it. It was not a normal wheelchair, but a fully functional hospital chair with every device known to the medical profession.