Yours Completely

by Joya Ryan

  “Cal and I give each other shit and yeah, we’re not besties,” Harper started. “But I know he actually thinks of you beyond a one night kind of thing. If he didn’t, I would have said something.”

  “You did say something,” I reminded her. “Remember, when I first met him at the party in the park. You told me he’s a runner. He’s used to women that ‘know the drill.’”

  “All that is true.”

  Frustration was rising. “Then how do you know that he cares about me beyond a single night?”

  Harper looked me dead in the eye, “Because he put you first when it came to Jack.”

  “What does that mean?” I said firmly.

  “I guess there was an incident between Cal and Jack. I don’t know exactly how it went down, but Cal stepped aside, so you could be with Jack. If he was trying to get into your pants, he would have already pursued you for just that and wouldn’t have cared if you were with Jack or not.”

  My mind raced, thinking back to when I was with Jack and Cal in the bar a couple months ago. When I’d realized they knew each other. Jack never told me the discussion they had outside, but whatever it was made Cal back off.

  The other night, when I was wrapped up in Cal, he’d said that he’d waited for me…

  “How do you know this?”

  “Rhett told me bits and pieces.”

  “Rhett?” I asked. “Are you two close? Was he the Viking?” Harper just stared at me. “Harper? You really aren’t going to tell me?”

  “It’s not that easy. Yes, Rhett and I are close,” she admitted. “But I’m still figuring some stuff out.”

  “Have I done something to make you feel like you can’t talk to me about this?”

  “No, of course not,” she said with sincerity. “I just really need to figure this out on my own.”

  I understood that. Despite how much I wanted to help, I had to trust Harper could take care of herself. Now, if only she thought the same about me.

  “Rhett does seem like a good guy,” I offered.

  She nodded.

  But based on what she was saying, Rhett also knew a lot about Cal, and thanks to the other night, he knew a lot more about Cal and me specifically.

  How had things gotten so messed up? Jack had wanted me once, enough to tell Cal to step back. Only, Jack left…he’d had a timeline from the beginning. It was yet another fork in the road that could have gone either way. But the way it went was with Jack. And I was left with pieces of who I was, pieces of who I was becoming, and Cal was the only kind of glue in sight.

  I started running again, and Harper followed suit. I didn’t know what to think or how to feel, other than even more lost than before. Wondering how things could have been different. But they weren’t. And there was nothing Cal or I could do about it.

  Problem was, I was feeling. Feeling more than I wanted to. Wanting more than I wanted to. Two things I’d tried to stay away from when it came to Cal, yet I was getting swept up, even though I knew better than to trust any part of myself to another person.

  As we ran up toward our house, I noticed a black truck parked out front of the fire house and a few guys talking by the open doors.

  Cal.

  He was in street clothes and saw me, but didn’t make a move. Harper, however, jogged right up to Rhett and started talking low in his ear, leaving me standing on the sidewalk, catching my breath.

  “Rhett and I are going in for a snack,” Harper called, going with Rhett into the firehouse. Great. Just great. Best friend drops a bomb on me, then ditches me with the guy I’ve been avoiding.

  A guy that seemed hell bent on stopping that cycle with every step he took toward me.

  “Hey,” I said, as casually as I could. Cal didn’t even blink. He didn’t stop walking either until he was toe to toe with me.

  “I told you once that running is one thing, hiding is another.” His blue eyes, for the first time ever, ignited with fury.

  “I needed to think.” It was the most rehearsed answer I had. “Besides, isn’t that the status-quo? Great sex, then the woman sneaks out the back?”

  “Finally, you say something that I agree with,” he said, and my heart dropped. “The sex was great.”

  Crossing my arms, I huffed, mostly to make sure my lungs were still working because he’d just scared me…only to compliment our time together. This man drove me nuts.

  “And there is no status-quo,” he continued. “I thought you’d know that by now.” That blue glare only lit another degree. “But, if that was a concern of yours, then communicate that, don’t sneak off.”

  I bit my lip, but kept eye contact. Looking away signaled weakness. Something I’d learned from Jack, but hated that it stuck in my mind. Now was not the time to digress. I was faced with Cal, had new information brought to light, time to ask. Otherwise, I would just stay lost in the worst way.

  “What about your communication?” I asked. I lifted my chin, trying for any surge of strength I had. “You stepped aside so Jack and I could be together?”

  He took a deep breath through his nose, but didn’t break eye contact. “Timing is everything,” he said, and that rocked something in my chest. Jack had said damn near the same thing to me before turning his back and leaving for good.

  “And who decides on this time? You and Jack? Things could have been different.”

  “Yeah, they could have been. But did you ever think that you needed Jack more than you needed me?”

  I gasped and rage surged through my blood like a drug. I wasn’t some damn puzzle piece they could move around to see where I fit. “You think you know what I need?”

  “I’ve got a good idea. You needed to find your strength, feel safe. Jack is the perfect dark corner for that.”

  There was that phrase again, dark corner. Even I’d admitted that Jack had been like that. And I did hide in him. I’d also found my strength in him. He broke my heart, but he also forced me to grow as a woman, as a person.

  “So, you two just decided what you thought was best? Who would be better for me? And your conclusion was Jack? Despite him leaving in the end, you still thought that he was perfect for what I needed?” I snarled the last word. “And what are you perfect for, huh Cal?” I stepped closer, anger and confusion all dueling at the realization of how out of control I felt.

  “I think I showed you what I’m perfect for the other night.” The way his voice rolled over every syllable of that statement made my body flush with heat. “You want a place to hide? That was Jack. And you’re right, he’s gone. But I’m the place you can run to. I’m also the one you run from.” He leaned in so his breath skated over my face. “So, go ahead and run, Kitten. But don’t think I won’t chase you.”

  Crazy lust and need swarmed over my entire body like bees to a hive. The passion was overruling the logic, and everything in me screamed for the chance to cling to power.

  Find my control.

  Force Cal’s hand and call his bluff.

  So, I turned and ran.

  Chapter 9

  My legs had never moved so fast. I sprinted toward the park that lined up with the fire station, then further, reaching the tree line that led into the forest. Faster and faster, I pumped my arms, the underbrush kicking up as I forced my body to move quicker and quicker.

  Breathing hard, lungs aching from the cold air going in and out at this pace was like swallowing down ice crystals. But I kept going. Because no matter how cold the air was around me, my body was hot. A deep red hot I couldn’t outrun.

  But I had to try.

  My skin was damp, but I kept going. I didn’t chance to look behind me. I couldn’t hear anything but the heartbeat in my ears.

  Would Cal come for me?

  A snap of a twig and heavy footfalls rang through the white noise of my mind, and I knew…he was coming.

  And I wanted to be caught as much as I wanted to get away.

  Because I knew that once he caught me, I just may let him have me. In a lot more ways than
one.

  I forced my legs to take longer strides, but before I could wind even deeper into the deserted forest, a strong arm wrapped around my middle, halting me instantly like I’d gotten strung up by an invisible wire.

  “Quick little thing, aren’t you?” Cal rasped, as he lifted me up and maneuvered me against the nearest tree. I struggled. Partly from the adrenaline and partly from the anger. Not at Cal, but at everything. At the situation. At the past. Just everything.

  He grabbed my wrists and locked them over my head, his big body pinning me against the tree.

  “Look at me,” he growled. “You want to get away?”

  I lifted my chin, but said nothing. The truth hit hard: No, I didn’t want to get away.

  “You want free, just say so,” he said again.

  He breathed heavily against me, his strong chest rising and falling, skimming my breasts and making me hate the zip-up I had on and the barrier between us.

  “I want to not want you the way I do,” I whispered.

  With one hand still fastened around my wrists, the other cupped my throat. “Say that again.”

  “I want you,” I said. “So much. But I wish I didn’t.”

  “Well, I’m set to change your mind about that.”

  His lips took mine in a consuming, fierce way, and I gave myself up to it. To him. To his strength. Never once did he ask if I was scared. Never once did he question what I could or couldn’t handle. He didn’t worry about me like I was some fragile doll. In that, I found power.

  Cal treated me like an equal. Like he needed me. Like I had some kind of power over him the way he had power over me.

  I kissed him back. Wanting him. Just the way I’d admitted. Wanting him so much and hating that I already trusted him the way I did. Because he was right, I ran to him. And I ran from him. Yet, he came after me. Didn’t turn his back. Didn’t leave.

  He chased.

  I tried to get my hands free, and he finally let me. But he looked surprise when I wasn’t leaving, I was, instead, unfastening his belt.

  “More,” I said, unhooking the clasp and shoving his jeans low on his hips. “Now.” I grabbed his hard cock and he groaned.

  “Love it when your claws come out,” he said, and bit my neck just before gripping my hips and spinning me around.

  He peeled my pants down to my thighs, baring my ass, and pushed on my back. I bent over, grabbing the tree in front of me for support. The quick sound of a condom wrapper opening was all the preparation I had before he buried himself to the hilt.

  “Ah, God!” I yelled. Driven by nothing more than instinct, I arched my back and pushed against him, wanting him deeper. Harder.

  “Fuck, you’re amazing,” he rasped, and slammed into me over and over. I cried out for more. Begged. It was rough, dirty, and I loved it. Neither of us were controlled, which was something I could work with. No preparation, just raw and wild and animalistic.

  His hips slapping against my ass with every plunge into my body made me wetter just from the sound. Something Cal seemed to notice.

  “Mmm, my little Kitten gets off on running from me, huh?” he said, fucking me even harder. He reached around with one hand and cupped my throat. “Do you like being caught?”

  “Yes,” I moaned.

  “Tell me how much you like it.”

  “So much, please more.”

  “More?” He thrust deep and I called out his name. The hand on my throat reached to my lips and I sucked on his fingers. Now, newly wetted, he trailed his hand down, found my clit, and rubbed.

  It was the flicker of fire I needed to heat my skin even further. I begged for more. Couldn’t get enough. I wanted to feel all his strength. His anger. His punishment. I wanted to feel the pain I caused him. Pain I’d been caused. All of it melded together into something I didn’t understand, and I just wanted that sting of release. The line of pleasure and pain.

  Cal’s entire body was racked with tension, like he was holding back. So I pushed. Wanting him as far as he’d take me.

  “Do you like me running from you?” I asked between gritted teeth. “Do you want to punish me? Fuck me?”

  A deep rasp broke from his throat.

  “Do it,” I coaxed him.

  He slammed into me harder.

  “Do it,” I demanded again.

  A whoosh of air sounded and his open palm came down on my ass.

  “Yes!”

  “Jesus,” he rasped, and I felt his cock get even harder as he continued thrusting. “You like that?” he slapped my ass again. Then again. My entire core gripped down on his cock, tensing to come.

  “I love it.” But I wasn’t ready to give this up. I wanted to push for even more. “But is that all you’ve got?” I looked over my shoulder and gave a little smile. He knew I was goading him, and the gleam in his eyes was so powerful it pricked my skin like needles.

  “Oh, I’ve got more,” he said and wrapped my ponytail around his fist. He pistoned in and out of me so hard my teeth clattered while he rained spank after spank down on my ass.

  Pleasure shot through every vein so densely that I thought my nerves would snap. I came hard and shivered with spicy chills from the intensity. Cal was right behind me, groaning to the sky as his pleasure overtook him.

  With heavy breaths, he pulled me up until my back met his chest, while I was still cradling his cock between my legs.

  He whispered in my ear, “You can run anytime you want, Kitten.” He palmed my ass, the sting of where his hand was sparking another flicker of pleasure. “Just know that I will always catch you.”

  Chapter 10

  “You’ve been doing all this by yourself for over two decades?” I asked, looking over Bea’s shoulder as she showed me her bookkeeping for her business.

  “Yes, a few years ago, Cal got me this computer and I keep all the accounting on that now.” She let out a noise that sounded like some wounded animal. “It was awful to learn. But I have Facebook now too, so it was worth it.”

  “Sounds like a fair trade.”

  She swiveled her chair, gliding along the clear mat that laid over the brown shag carpet, and rolled to the bookcase.

  “I like your home office,” I said, glancing around. It was dated and on the nineteen-seventies side, but still cozy, and all Bea. Two 8x10 photos hung on the wall. One was of Cal, the other of Jack. They had to be around ten years old. They looked so sweet. Cal smiled wide with sunny hair and bright blue eyes. Jack’s black hair was combed to the side, like he tried to do it himself, and he gave a closed-lip grin. A balmy ache stirred in my stomach looking at them. I knew them. Saw the light and the hurt in their eyes. I may not have known the boys they were, but I knew the men they became, and my heart constricted.

  “Thank you. I’m not much of decorator,” Bea said, scooting back to the desk while holding a large book. When she opened it, I realized it was, in fact, a ledger. “This is how I used to do all my accounting.”

  “Wow.” She flipped a few pages so I could see how she organized every hour and dollar of her business. “This is really incredible.”

  “This is just writing stuff down,” she said. “But if shadowing me helps with your project, I’m happy to have you.” She handed me the book and turned to the computer. “I’m happy to have you without the project too.”

  “I appreciate that.”

  “I mean it, kiddo,” she swiveled again to face me, the little rolling wheels screeching as she did. “You come here anytime you like, understand?”

  Oxygen stuck to my throat and my ribs clamped down. I knew why Cal and Jack had the similarities they did. It came from Bea. She was their common denominator. Their protector.

  “I understand,” I whispered.

  “Good, now let’s see here…oh, how about I show you 2012’s records? It was one of our worst years, but we stayed afloat.”

  “That would be wonderful.”

  She pulled up a little footstool and I sat next to her as she started showing me through her docu
ments. I was learning so much. Mostly that a single mother/aunt of two boys and a business she ran all her own was an amazing thing. This woman, singlehandedly, did it all and she did it with a smile and blunt honesty. It was so easy to turn away, take the easy route, and Bea seemed to always step up whenever the occasion called for it. Neither of my parents had ever done such a thing for anyone. Including their only daughter.

  “Bea?” I said, just as she finished going over a spreadsheet.

  “Yes, honey?”

  “You are the one that impresses me,” I said.

  A joyful, watery expression lit her face up and she threw those plump arms around my neck, smashing me against her.

  It was one of the best hugs I’d ever had.

  ~

  “Hey! Good to see you, Lana,” Dave said.

  “Thanks, you too.”

  “Looking for Cal? He’s just right through here.” He ushered me into the firehouse and pointed at an open door off to the right. I hadn’t been in that room yet, but apparently that’s where Cal was. Most of the house was dark, the only light came from scattered rooms, which I assumed was where the guys were hanging out. I’d been nervous about coming here since last time. I hadn’t seen Rhett, and judging by Dave’s attitude, he didn’t treat me any differently, so my hope was that I was in the clear, at least with my reputation and perception from the crew.

  I pushed the door open a bit and leaned against the frame. A pair of large, defined, sexy as sin arms lifted two heavy dumbbells. I would know those arms anywhere. The tattoo along the bicep gave away that it was Cal. But all that tanned skin misted with a light sheen of sweat made me instantly salivate for a taste.

  He was sitting, his back toward me, so I took a moment to appreciate the view before interrupting. Watching him do reps of bicep curls was redefining my definition of foreplay, because, holy God, I was getting hot just observing.

  “Staring isn’t very polite,” Cal said, and I could hear the smile in his voice.

  “You caught me.” I walked in and around the chair to face him. He dropped the weights, stood, and gave me a hard kiss on the lips, like a couple would when greeting each other. But we weren’t exactly a couple.