Imperfectly Real (A Series of Imperfections)

by A. E. Woodward

  I totally lost my cool. “You’re just like your mother!” I screamed, not caring if someone heard. “You’re only staying with him because of his paycheck!”

  Elizabeth shushed me before she spoke again. “That’s not fair …”

  “You’re the one who’s a fuckin’ gold-digger. Tell me there’s another reason you’re staying with him? Prove me wrong, Elizabeth!”

  She stared at me, hopelessly trying to think of just one good reason.

  “What’s going on here?” I spun around to see that we were no longer alone. I was thankful that we were no longer touching—at least it didn’t look like we were having an intimate moment. It took a minute for the shadow to come into view—Shane had joined us.

  “Nothing.” I quipped as I kicked some dirt.

  “Doesn’t sound like nothing. Nothing doesn’t usually lead to yelling. You two have been fucking weird, and quiet, all day. Emma’s noticed and is starting to freak out. I don’t know what exactly is going on with you two”—he gestured at us with his hands—”but you have got to cut the shit. Like, now.”

  He stared at us waiting for a response. Uncomfortable silence passed before I finally looked at him.

  “Okay. I got it.”

  “Seriously, Tyler, try not to be so damn selfish. Emma will kill you if you continue to be a prick this weekend.” There was me thinking I’d managed to hide my bad mood. Obviously not.

  Shane stalked off back toward the bonfire. He was right. This weekend was about them, and for me to stir up drama was bullshit. They deserved better than that. I had to do better. I owed it to the both of them, but I couldn’t think clearly around Elizabeth.

  “We’re not finished,” I seethed before I turned on my heels and walked away. I heard Elizabeth groan behind me, but I really didn’t give a shit how she felt. She had a choice to make—whether she liked it or not. I felt her following me as we made our way back to the front of the camp. The crowd had thinned out, leaving just the immediate family behind. Mr. and Mrs. Sloan were sitting next to Mason, engrossed in deep conversation. My blood boiled again with envy. He didn’t deserve to be part of that family. He didn’t deserve Elizabeth—or Emily for that matter. He didn’t deserve any of it.

  I found my way next to Rob and he muttered some smart-ass remark under his breath. I kicked some sand in his direction and plopped onto the picnic table, watching Elizabeth hover around Mason. Mason smiled at her while he continued to talk to Mr. Sloan. I watched him wrap his arms around her waist and pull her into his lap. As natural and familiar as his touch was, she looked uneasy. I watched them together and I felt the anger continue to rise within me, and I knew it was only a matter of time before I blew up.

  Making a conscious decision to keep myself in check—and before I did anything stupid—I picked myself up and left. Just like that, I walked away from it all, not really giving a damn how it looked. I just needed to get through the weekend without ruining it for Emma or Shane.

  I knew I was too drunk to drive so I found myself walking the familiar dirt roads. We’d spent a time or two navigating our way in the dark when we were younger. We’d called it the ‘Crawford Crawl’ since it was Crawford Lake and we’d usually been drunk. I knew those roads like the back of my hand, and it was a good thing because the farther I got from the camp, the darker it became.

  “Tyler! Tyler! Wait!” I heard her calling for me but I was too pissed to stop. “Please, don’t do this!” I turned just in time to see her fall to her knees on the ground. Of course she wouldn’t know there was a huge culvert there. I’m sure Elizabeth had never done the drunken lake walk in the still of the night.

  “I need you.” A sob escaped from her throat as she threw her head into her hands, trembling with sadness.

  I cursed under my breath and made my way back to her—my resolve slowly crumbling away. I couldn’t stand to see her like that—never had and probably never would. I crouched down so that I was eye level with her, and I ran my hands through her short blonde hair, offering her a smile. “You drive me fuckin’ crazy, you know that, Half-Pint?”

  “I know. I should have never put you in this position.” She sniffed and looked into my eyes. “I’m so sorry.”

  I knew I couldn’t watch her throw her life away just to appease Mrs. Sloan. I refused. I would fight for Elizabeth until the bitter end. Two could play that game, and I considered myself a worthy opponent for the old bat.

  With my heart pounding my chest, I crashed my lips onto hers. A soft moan escaped her mouth and I knew deep down that she wanted to be with me too. I just needed to make her realize she couldn’t live without me. I’d had to convince Emma she needed Shane and I obviously needed to make Elizabeth realize that life without me would suck. But this time I wouldn’t rely solely on words.

  I picked her up from the road and carried her to the deserted beach, away from the other camps. I was pissed and hurt, but I had my eyes on the prize. I would make Elizabeth see the light, no matter what the cost. I carefully lay her down on the sand, lowering myself to her, making sure to maintain eye contact. Her breath hitched and I kissed her on the cheek.

  In the cool summer air, with nothing but the moonlight I made Liz feel the love between us the best way I knew how. I’d never been good with words … but I knew sex. I made sure to be tender and attentive, despite the hatred that coursed through my veins. She’d known what she was doing right from the beginning. She’d started out using me to dull her loneliness, but now it was so much more. It was too late for the both of us. I was going to make her realize what a big mistake she was making. She had to choose me, because if she didn’t … I would surely break.

  “You’re such a slut.”

  Those words resounded through her brain, every day. But especially in those moments with Tyler. She knew she needed to set him free, but for whatever reason, she couldn’t. Something kept drawing her back to him. It had always been him. Tyler could save her, but first she needed to figure out how to save herself.

  The next few days passed without incident. I’d laid it all out there. Again. I’d tried the backing off thing. Again. I hoped that the absence of pressure would help Elizabeth come to the realization that she needed me just as much as I needed her. So I busied myself with watersports, beer, and sleep, in that order.

  It didn’t take long for my friends to notice that something was up.

  Every chance he got, Rob would say things like, “Dude, get over yourself and pull your head out of your ass. You know, it’s not everyday your two best friends get married.”

  Needless to say, I was beyond thankful when the wedding day finally arrived, because it gave me something else to focus on. It was all about Shane and Emma—and Felix, of course.

  Shane and I had our moment as I helped him into his suit. He couldn’t stop smiling, and I couldn’t blame him. “We’ve been through so much together man,” he spoke softly as he handed me an envelope. “It’s only fitting that you be the one to take this to her.”

  I didn’t really want to go to the girly room. Well, really I just didn’t want to be in close proximity to Elizabeth. But I didn’t argue, I just pulled him in for a bro hug.

  I made my way across the lush green grass of the inn to the Bridal Suite. I knocked lightly on the door, clenching the envelope in my hand.

  “Who is it?” Elizabeth called from the other side.

  I cleared my throat hoping it wouldn’t be too uncomfortable. I needed to focus on my friends today. It was their day, and I didn’t need my idiotic thoughts and feelings getting in the way of their celebration. “It’s Tyler. I come bearing gifts.”

  She opened the door and I tried my best to hide my reaction at the sight of her. She looked absolutely breathtaking in her deep purple satin dress. NYU colors of course—Emma had actually managed to maintain some control over this wedding after all. “Come in.” She used her hand to motion for me to enter the room.

  Fidgeting with my tie, I stepped into her suite and began looking for E
mma, telling myself to focus. It was Emma and Shane’s day. Lock it up, Tyler.

  Elizabeth brushed past me. “She’ll be right out. Mom’s just buttoning her up.”

  I couldn’t prevent my thoughts from spewing from my mouth. “You look great, Half-Pint.” I wanted to take the words back, but instead I just grinned like a fool. Which I obviously was.

  She stopped before rejoining her sister and mother in the back and looked over her shoulder to smile. “So do you, Ty.”

  I unbuttoned my vest and sat down on the couch. It was hella comfortable. I made a mental note that this was the type of couch I wanted once Rob and I had to find a new place. That futon was headed for the dumpster.

  My fingers drummed nervously on my leg. I was anxious to get back to Shane as I was sure Rob was doing his best to get him hammered. We definitely didn’t need the groom tossing his cookies all over the bride.

  “Hey.”

  I lifted my head to see Emma standing before me, more beautiful than I had ever seen her before and looking mighty nervous. I couldn’t even attempt to describe to you how she looked, because my manly descriptions would not do her justice.

  Smiling, I stood up. “Hey, yourself. You look freakin’ amazing.”

  “You think?” she asked hesitantly as she fingered the lace of her gown.

  “Yeah, I do. Shane is going to cry like a baby.” She laughed as I enveloped her into my arms. “I can’t believe my best friends are getting married.”

  She pulled back from me and shook her head. “That makes two of us. I can’t believe you let him talk me into this. You’re supposed to have my back on this shit.” After we had our moment Liz and Mrs. Sloan joined us. I exchanged pleasantries the best I could before I fulfilled my mission.

  “Well, I’ve got something for you, and I have very specific instructions.” I reached into my pocket and pulled out a small box that Shane had told me to give her first. “Open this.”

  We all watched curiously as Emma tore into the box and finally pulled out a small sterling silver soccer ball. I wasn’t totally sure of its purpose, but Emma immediately smiled. “It’s a charm for my Cape Cod bracelet,” she muttered, showing her mom and Elizabeth.

  Oh Shane—always the romantic one.

  “All right, now you’re supposed to sit down while I read this letter to you.” I hated that Shane had put me in this position, but he said I had to because the letter was for both of us.

  Emma took a seat on the couch and I scooted in next to her, while Elizabeth and Mrs. Sloan sat across from us on the love seat. I hated that I had an audience, but I didn’t have a choice in the matter. I carefully opened the letter and started to read.

  I sniffed and looked up from the letter to see that Em still smiling. I’d half expected her to shed at least one tear since it had struck cord with me—hell, it even caused a lump to form in my throat—but, no … nothing from her.

  “Man, Em, you are stone cold,” I joked, passing her the paper. Surely she would want to keep it as a memento?

  “No, I’m just not a girl like you and Shane.” She placed the letter on the coffee table before she pulled me in for another hug and laughed again. “Now go back and tell Shane I didn’t get him shit and that he needs to pull himself together.”

  I chuckled and stood up.

  “Emma!” Mrs. Sloan gasped. “You can’t do that!”

  “It’s my wedding day, Mom. I can do what I want.” Emma directed her attention back to me as she walked me out of the room. “Then when he shakes his head and rolls his eyes tell him to look under the bed.” She winked.

  I walked the whole way back to Shane’s room with a smile on my face. It was so typical of Em to play things off. This was so not her thing, but she was doing it to make Shane happy. Now that was true love.

  I let myself back into the room. Shane was anxiously pacing the floor—his hair a serious mess from his hand constantly rifling through it.

  “You are such a sap,” I said leaning down to grab a beer from the mini fridge.

  “About time you got back! I had to send Rob on an errand so he would get the Jäger away from me.” Shane calmed himself. Stopping in front of the mirror to tie his tie, he asked, “So, did she like it?”

  “Yep.” I plopped into the armchair, waiting for it to come. I knew it was killing him.

  Finally his curiosity got the better of him. “Did she send you back with something?”

  “Nope. But she did tell me to tell you to pull yourself together.”

  As if on cue, Shane shook his head and went into a fit of eye rolling. I had to hand it to the girl, she knew him well—probably better than I did. “Calm down. Look under the bed.”

  Immediately Shane dropped onto all fours and picked up the bed skirt. He chuckled as he reached under the bed and started dragging something out. It was a basket with an assortment of goodies in it. I stood and joined him in order to get a better look. Shane passed me the Post-it note that Emma had scribbled on.

  Inside the basket was a bottle of Blue Moon, one bottle of Guinness, one can of Red Bull, a bottle of Advil, and the picture. It was the picture that had made Shane realize he had feelings for Emma—that she was more than just a friend. Shane smiled and sniffed simultaneously.

  “Don’t you start crying on me,” I teased, gripping his shoulder.

  The door flew open and Rob entered, a bottle of Jäger in his hand. “Aww, are we having a moment?” he quipped. Rob’s comment was just sarcastic enough to bring Shane back to earth. “Now if you two ladies are done weeping, get over here and drink some deer blood with me!”

  “I can’t believe you’re letting this idiot marry you guys,” I said as I made my way back to the armchair. It was sure to be a long, and interesting, day.

  The music started and I watched intently as Elizabeth made her way down the aisle, holding Emily’s hand while towing Felix behind her in a wagon. I smiled watching her giggle as Emily fell. They took their places and everyone turned their attention toward Emma. She made her way down the aisle as Black Betty played. I’m sure Mrs. Sloan had had a conniption over that one. Even though I had already seen her, she still took my breath away. Shane was a lucky dude.

  Emma took her place across from Shane under the beautiful archway and they gazed into each other’s eyes. I looked at them for a moment as Rob started his speech. My gaze drifted over to Elizabeth, standing next to Emma, with Felix and Emily at her side.

  There would be no point in me boring you with the details of the ceremony because, well, it was just a wedding. Rob made the crowd laugh, of course. He said things that were inappropriate and I chuckled every time Mrs. Sloan cringed. It was so Emma, and she loved every minute of it.

  The only things noteworthy were the vows. Shane and Emma had decided a long time ago that they were going to improvise them. They wanted to just say what came to their minds in the heat of the moment, and it was beyond emotional and sincere. People cried when they spoke their heartfelt, and truthful words. They bantered back and forth with amazing promises.

  Shane: I will always remember to put the toilet seat down.

  Emma: I promise to bring you coffee without you having to ask.

  Shane: I will never let you go to bed angry.

  Emma: I promise to always eat the mushrooms when we order the supreme pizza.

  Shane: And I will always eat some of your French fries, just so you don’t feel guilty about it.

  Emma: I promise to always believe you when you tell me I’m beautiful.

  Shane: I will always be the big spoon.

  Emma: And I promise to be the little spoon.

  Shane: I will give you hugs. A lot. Whenever I want.

  Emma: And I will always accept them.

  Shane: I will never forget that our love is friendship set on fire.

  Emma: I love you more.

  Shane: More than anything else.

  I had to admit that even I got a little misty-eyed listening to them make their promises to each other. I
was extremely happy for them, and with each promise I couldn’t help but look in Elizabeth’s direction. I wanted to say those words to her … to let her know that I could promise her true love like that.

  It was sometime after the vows when I had a sudden moment of clarity as I looked upon Shane and Emma. Elizabeth was standing next to them … on their left. My mind flashed back to the advice my father had shared with my mother. “When nothing goes right, go left”. The words that my father had spoken to me in my dream resounded through my head. I kept trying to shake them, but I couldn’t. Somehow, someway, I knew I needed to help Elizabeth. Even though I wanted her to be mine, even more so I wanted her to be happy. She deserved to be happy.

  After we took pictures—most of them included me high-fiving Shane—the true fun began. I had to hand it to them, the Sloan’s sure knew how to party. Two words—open bar, people. Open bar.

  I watched on as my two best friends shared their first dance as husband and wife. They swayed back and forth to the beat of “I Won’t Give Up’ by Jason Mraz. It was the perfect song—full of promises and meaning for the both of them. Halfway through the song, Elizabeth brought Felix to them and the three of them had their moment together on the dance floor. I was pretty sure there wasn’t a dry eye in the house—including mine. I’d turned into an emotional basket case over the past few weeks. So much going on. So many changes.

  Once they finished their dance, Kenny Chesney’s ‘When I See This Bar” kicked up. Emma perched Felix on her hip and smiled as she continued to dance with Shane, knowing damn well that this had been planned. I let Rob go over first as he tapped Shane on the shoulder to cut in. Shane graciously let him and made his way next to me.