Imperfectly Real (A Series of Imperfections)

by A. E. Woodward

  This song meant more to us then people understood. They probably just figured it was a random song that was being played so Rob and I could get our chance to dance with her. But that wasn’t it at all—this was our O’Malley’s song. I hugged Shane before making my way to Rob, Emma and Felix. Rob put on a bit of show, pretending to ignore my dance requests, but he eventually let me step in.

  Suddenly, I was hit with an onslaught of emotions. I gripped Emma’s waist as Felix lay on her shoulder. She sensed I was struggling and put her hand to the back of my head as I leaned down to kiss Felix’s back. Things were changing—moving forward—but I couldn’t help wondering if I would be left in the dust.

  As the festivities continued, and I drank more, my sadness turned to anger. I found myself more pissed about my situation than I should have been. Sure, I was mad at Liz, but mostly I was mad at myself. I couldn’t even begin to describe all the bullshit that fired through my head. It was beyond fucked up.

  I stood at the bar, alone and hopeless, but with the company of some good booze. I’d been texting Liz all night, trying to get her to talk to me again. I wanted to make things right—and to apologize for my callous behavior at the bonfire—but most of all, I wanted closure. If she’d made her choice, she needed to face the music. Hell, I needed to face it. I was done with the drama. Before I had a chance to talk myself out of it I pulled out my cell phone, and sent one final text to Elizabeth.

  Meet me by the oak tree.

  I sucked down a final shot before making my way to the tree out the front of the Inn. I was walking out of the bar when I felt a hand grab the lapel of my suit jacket.

  “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Rob questioned through gritted teeth.

  “I’ll say this again, Rob …” I pushed his hand away and stood over him. “Don’t worry about it.”

  “I’d love nothing more than to ‘not worry about it’, dickhead, but unfortunately for you, I’m the only person here who gives a damn about you right now.”

  I brushed past him and rolled my eyes, hoping that he wouldn’t chase after me.

  Pushing through the front door I heard Rob holler, “You’re going to be sorry, Tyler, you wait. Shit’s about to get real.”

  I made my way across the street to the towering oak tree and leaned back against it. I kept checking my phone, waiting to see if she was going to respond or not, when I heard the commotion. I knew I should’ve listened to Rob. The fucker had been right.

  “Mason! Wait, I can explain!”

  I watched, dumbfounded, as Elizabeth hopelessly grabbed at Mason’s dress shirt.

  Her hand connected with the fabric and she tugged, spinning him around. “Let go of me, Elizabeth,” he spat. I wanted to punch the fucker—he had no right to speak to her like that, let alone be upset with her for the very thing he was doing. He’d cheated first. He’d thrown her to the curb, and for that the asshole deserved to rot in hell.

  “Mason … please …” She stopped chasing him, fell to the ground and begged.

  I looked up and saw Elizabeth cover her mouth as Mason made his way towards me. I should’ve made a break for it, but this shit had come to a head and I needed to deal with it.

  “Hey, Juicehead,” he called from across the road. His head swept side-to-side while he looked for oncoming traffic. “Wanna explain to me why you’ve been blowing up my wife’s phone all day?”

  I looked behind Mason to see that Emma, Shane and Rob had joined the party. Just great. They’d obviously sensed shit was about to go down and decided to follow the chaos. Liz continued to scream at Mason to stop, but it was useless. This was between us now.

  “Not particularly,” I seethed as he finally stood in front of me. I towered over him, and I knew that, if I wanted, I could easily wipe up the asphalt with his face. But before I could continue to be a sarcastic prick, I watched his fist meet my face. I wanted to fight back—partly because Elizabeth was worth it, the other part due to the pain that he had caused her—but luckily for him, I didn’t. I knew that I deserved every punch that connected with me. I’d done the unthinkable and messed around with his wife … for far too long.

  My self-deprecating thoughts were broken by Elizabeth’s frantic screams. “Mason! Stop!” She’d made her way over to the chaos under the tree.

  Mason stood up from my crumpled body “You want me to stop?”

  “Yes … please,” she pleaded, grabbing his arm. “Let me explain.”

  “Ugh, whatever. You disgust me.” And he walked away with no further argument. Just like that the two of us were alone … just like I’d wanted. Only now we had an audience. Not exactly how I’d pictured it.

  “Well, looks like the secret’s out.” I muttered as I stood up. I glanced across the way as my three friends watched helplessly. Rob was pacing back and forth in front of the Inn. Seemingly ever-so-slightly stressed out.

  Elizabeth looked up at me. “This doesn’t change anything for me, Tyler. My answer is still the same,” she sobbed, obviously not caring that we weren’t alone. “I have to stay with Mason.”

  I shook my head. “What the hell, Liz? I don’t understand. How can you stay with someone you don’t even love?”

  “Because, Tyler, you know just as well as I do that my mother won’t allow me to leave him.

  “I know you’ll think I’m a horrible person for saying this but I can’t afford to be on my own. My mom controls the purse strings, and I know she won’t help me if I throw it all away. I’ve got Emily to think of.”

  I huffed in annoyance. I knew damn well that my mother had made the same choice in staying with my father. I think there had been a time when they were head over heels for each other. I still think they loved each other, they just weren’t in love. But it became apparent early on in my childhood that they couldn’t be around each other. I was convinced that the stress and strain that came with remaining in such a tumultuous relationship had been a contributing factor in my Dad’s death.

  “Are you going to foot my bills?” she asked, annoyed.

  I rolled my eyes. I refused to let a woman control how I spent my money again—no matter how much I thought I loved her. I’d made that mistake once before and Cheyenne had sucked my savings dry. Lesson learned.

  My silence answered her.

  “That’s what I thought.” She turned on her heels and walked away from me. She stopped once she was across the road and whispered over her shoulder at me. “I’m sorry, Tyler.”

  I wanted to be pissed at her, but she was right. I knew Mrs. Sloan, and she would have a conniption if Elizabeth left Mason—especially for someone like me. If I could somehow get to Mr. Sloan and explain things to him. If he knew the truth he’d never let his wife control his daughters the way she did. She had successfully pulled the wool over his eyes for years, but if his girls couldn’t stand up for themselves, maybe I could …

  I propped myself back against the tree and watched as Emma ran across the street to me, her wedding dress wadded up in her hands. The guilt overtook me, and suddenly I wanted to run away.

  “Em, I’m sorry I’ve fucked everything up …”

  “Stop,” she commanded as she gave me a hug. “You listen to me, and you listen good, Tyler Johnston. Nothing could ruin today for me. I’m not mad. Really. Nothing could spoil this day. Not even your knucklehead.” She paused and smiled. “But I wish you’d told me, or Shane. We could have tried to help you. You shouldn’t have had to deal with this all on your own.”

  Little did she know that her husband did know. He just wasn’t much help—surprise, surprise. I spat blood onto the ground. “I want you to know that I really love her.”

  She sighed. “Obviously you do or you wouldn’t be risking everything for her. I just hope she’s worth it.” She shook her head, a pained look on her face.

  “You don’t know her like I do. She’s a good girl, she’s still in there somewhere … I know it. Something happened to her, Em. I’m not sure what, but I know it. Somehow she los
t her way. Maybe we left her at the wrong time, but I’m not about to give up on her. She still needs me, and, this time, I wont leave her alone.”

  Her back was cold, the metal of the truck sent shivers down her spine.

  It was the first thought she had—how sick was that? More worried about being cold than the precarious situation she was in.

  Her skin crawled as his skin pressed against her. He tasted like liquor and tobacco. She wanted to puke, but she didn’t.

  Deep breaths.

  Breathe in, breathe out. Just keep breathing.

  “You’re such a little hoity-toity bitch,” he groaned as he unbuttoned his pants and forced himself into her.

  It hurt.

  A tear slid down her face.

  “You better tell those fuckers that this was their fault. They should have minded their own goddamn business.”

  The realization hits. This wasn’t about her. And it didn’t take a genius to know that knowing this would destroy Emma and the boys.

  Tyler. Oh my God, Tyler. He was too good. Too kind. He would never forgive himself for this.

  He bit her neck.

  Another tear fell from her cheek.

  She could hear people laughing down below in the pit. The party continued while she lost her innocence.

  And then it was over … just as fast as it had started.

  He pulled away from her, a devilish grin spreading across his face. The emotional floodgates opened, and a sob escaped her throat. She slid down the side of the truck, her skin squeaking as though protesting her sudden weakness.

  He spat on her before turning and walking away, leaving her to her own devices. She sat in silence for what seemed like hours before picking herself up from the ground.

  This was her defining moment, but this would not make her weak. She was not ruined. She’d deal with this alone. She was strong and could go on to have a great life … just as long as no one ever found out. This was her secret.

  I walked toward Mrs. Sloan on a mission. The liquid courage, combined with my fury, meant I didn’t give a damn that we were at a wedding, and I didn’t think twice about the possibility of causing another scene. Elizabeth’s words stuck with me—it was Mrs. Sloan’s fault that she felt like she couldn’t chase her dreams. The woman had beaten her down long enough.

  I stood behind her at the bar, and before I could think or mince my words, “You’re a bitch!” came from my mouth.

  Gasps from the women around her filled the room and people turned to stare. I heard my own mother hiss my name from the other side of the bar where she had been perched all night. My blood boiled more, since I was sure her and Mrs. Sloan had spent the entire night looking down their nose at Ms. Strout. Idiots.

  Finally gaining her composure, Mrs. Sloan turned her body towards me and spoke, “Excuse me?” she asked, giving me a second chance to choose my words more wisely.

  I didn’t seize her opportunity. “I said, you’re a bitch.”

  “Well I never—” She was obviously gearing up to give me a verbal lashing, but I interjected before I lost my nerve.

  “You’ve messed up your daughters so bad and you don’t even realize it do you?” I paused and chuckled, “Or maybe you do. Maybe that was your plan all along, to make them just as miserable as you are!”

  She stared at me. Shocked beyond belief, she seemed at a loss for words. There was a first time for everything.

  I was silently celebrating my victory when I felt a hand on my shoulder. Still on edge from the punches I’d received earlier, I spun around, ready for a fight. Instead, I found myself face to face with Mr. Sloan, who looked more than a little displeased with me. I immediately felt guilty.

  “Tyler, son,” he spoke to me in a manner much calmer than I deserved, “I think you’ve had a bit too much to drink.”

  “I … umm …” I struggled to form a coherent thought, knowing I’d let him down. He’d been the closest thing to a father I’d had after my Dad died.

  “Why don’t you and I go have a little talk outside?” Mr. Sloan bent down to give his wife a kiss before he led me out of the room by the elbow.

  Once outside, the cool fresh summer air refreshed me. The peepers were making noise and I was reminded of how peaceful Maine summers truly were. I sat down on the front steps and Mr. Sloan followed my lead.

  “You wanna tell me what’s going on here, son? You come inside with a busted up face and call my wife a bitch … that’s not the Tyler I know.” he questioned hopefully. I wanted to tell him everything, but I just didn’t know where to start.

  “I’m sorry, Mr. Sloan,” I murmured. “I know I’ve let you down sir.”

  “Ah, that’s bullshit and you know it. You meant every word you just said to my wife. I know you well enough to know that you’re not afraid to speak you mind, Tyler. I just want to know why you said what you said, because you obviously believe it.”

  I took a deep breath. I needed to come clean. Mr. Sloan needed to know the truth—he’d had the wool pulled over his eyes for long enough. “Well, sir, knowing your girls like I do I think you should understand how much they’re both controlled by your wife. I watched Emma spend years trying to please her, while Liz found the need to become her.”

  Mr. Sloan responded with a humph. “Well, I guess I never really thought of it like that. I know my wife likes to maintain a certain image and such … but I never really thought it was affecting my girls.”

  Seeing my moment I spoke quietly. “Sir, I think Liz needs help.”

  Mr. Sloan looked at me, concerned and confused. “What do you mean, son?”

  “Well not that kind of help … more like aid … or maybe that kind of help? I don’t know, Mr. Sloan. I mean … well … what I’m trying to say is—”

  He cut me off. “Spit it out, boy.”

  “All right. Yes, sir. Well … you see … I’m in love your daughter.”

  His wide eyes locked with mine. “Liz?”

  I nodded. “I think I always have. I mean I know I loved protecting her when we were kids, but now I think there was so much more to it than that. When she came to see Emma this past fall, and I saw how broken she was, I wanted to fix her. I needed to see her smile again, but her spark is gone, sir, and I’m not sure how to help her.”

  “I’ve always known she didn’t love Mason. I could tell by watching her with him … she always seemed to be forcing it. I’ve got to admit though, Tyler, I can try and help her the best I can, but my relationship with Liz fell to the wayside when she got to high school. She’s always been closer to her mother.”

  I sighed. I knew that just as well as he did. Emma had been the one to have the stronger relationship with her dad. “So I’m not sure that I’m the best person to help her. She’s got to want to help herself first.”

  “But she can’t. She’s scared. She’s afraid of taking chances because of your wife, sir. That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. She’s afraid she won’t be able to make it on her own.”

  Realization swept across his face and I knew he finally understood. But in my quest for his understanding, I wondered what problems I may have just caused for the nicest man I knew. He stood from the step next to me and buttoned his suit jacket while looking down on me. “Don’t you worry, son. I’ll take care of that. Liz has my support, 100%, in whatever way she wants.”

  I watched him walk away, hoping that things would figure themselves out because I was exhausted. I sat alone on the front steps while guests made their way to the parking lot. The reception was over, and I felt guilty knowing that I’d missed a lot of enjoyment because I’d been so wrapped up in the drama of my life. And for what? I had nothing to show for it besides a busted face and a bruised ego.

  I rubbed my face with my hands and I attempted to gather my thoughts before I got up to drag my sorry ass back to my room.

  “You hate me don’t you?”

  I looked up to see Elizabeth standing in front of me, looking sadder than usual.

  “
I want to,” I admitted, “but for some goddamn reason I can’t stop myself from loving you.”

  She forced a smile as she sat on the step next to me.

  “Should you be here? With me?” I asked her as I looked around. Considering all that had gone down earlier, I was sure her husband wouldn’t appreciate her being alone with me and I didn’t really feel like getting pounded on again.

  “Mason knows I came to find you,” she spoke very calmly. How she was so calm was beyond me.

  “He does?” I questioned with amazement. “And he’s okay with that?”

  “Mason was the one who told me to come talk to you. We both came clean. We got things off our chests, and I told him some things tonight, things I should have spoken of long before now. Things that will help people understand the terrible decisions I’ve made … and why I am the way I am.”

  A lump formed in my throat. Was I one of her terrible decisions?

  She took a deep breath before continuing. “Tyler, I need you to understand that I truly love you. I always have. You were the best surrogate big brother I could have ever asked for. You kept me safe … but then you left.”

  I started to argue with her, over what I don’t know. We were back to me leaving her, as a kid. It was irrelevant, and a lame ass excuse for her behavior. “My leaving has nothing to do with this …”

  “Let me finish,” she demanded. “When you guys left, you left me with your legacy so to speak.”

  She should be thanking us for that. We’d carved out quite a reputation for ourselves. High school would have been easy for her if she hadn’t acted like such a bitch.

  “Things went great for the first few months, in fact I was found things quite easy. Everyone loved Emma, and so they loved me. So you can imagine how ecstatic I was when I got invited to the Prom Pit Party.”

  I nodded. Going to the Prom Pit Party was reserved for upperclassmen so for a freshman to go would have certainly been a big deal. I could understand her excitement.

  “I was so nervous. I wanted to call you or Emma for advice, but I didn’t want to be a bother. Besides, I’m sure you guys wouldn’t have cared to hear about my high school crap. Some of the older girls gave me a ride, but once we got there they found their own crowds to hang with and left me alone. I sat there, on a log next to the fire, for what seemed like hours. I watched them get ridiculously drunk, and was cursing myself for thinking I could fit in … when he sat down next to me.