100 Reasons Why Sex Must Wait Until Marriage

by D K Olukoya

  A lot of men who are very persistent about having sex in a relationship often end up being bored with the woman after they have engaged in it. However, if there is no sex, the man will be forced to assess the woman from another view. It does not necessarily guarantee that the relationship will last longer but will ensure that the woman does not end up feeling used and dumped, especially if the man decides to break it up.

  94 A CHANCE TO LEARN ABOUT COMMITMENT.

  When sex is left out of a relationship, it is a test of true commitment. It will help the partners develop commitment. They will see what it really takes to build a relationship when the distraction of sex is out of the way. When two people are able to remain together for a long time without having sex with each other, then they can be said to have developed a high level of commitment and are ready for marriage.

  95 GOOD ROLE MODEL FOR FRIENDS.

  When you abstain from sex, you become a good role model for your friends, as well as family, neighbours, etc. They will be encouraged by your example to control themselves. There is a fallacy that it is impossible to remain single without having sex. When you prove this wrong by your example, others around you will want to tow the same path and keep themselves pure as well

  96 SEX MAY BE MORE SPECIAL IF YOU WAIT.

  If you wait for marriage before having sex, it can be more special. Rushing into it prematurely can take away the pleasure which God put in it. It can be painful, coupled with the fact that there will be a tendency to hide for fear of being discovered. These put unnecessary stress on the entire experience. You have the rest of your life after marriage to have sex, so there is no need to rush.

  97 SEX IS IMPORTANT ENOUGH TO THINK CAREFULLY ABOUT.

  Giving the deep spiritual, physical and emotional impact sex has, it is necessary that you take time to think about it before going into it. There is a popular maxim: "If it feels right, do it". The truth however is that what feels right may not always be right. Feelings are a product of emotions and emotions can be very unstable. This is because they can easily be affected by hormones, the environment or even previous activities or encounters you have had. Making a decision on something as important as sex on the basis of how you feel is not right. This is the reason why a lot of people tend to regret their first sexual encounter, because they find out that the love they imagined they had was flitting. Sex is too important for you to just "go with the flow". You need to think about it and consider the consequences before going into it.

  98 IT GIVES YOU TIME TO LEARN MORE ABOUT YOURSELF.

  When you rush into sex at a young age, you put yourself at a great disadvantage. A lot of people are still discovering themselves when they decide to begin having sex. Doing so will only make things more complicated for the person. It is important that you know who you are before you join yourself to another through sex.

  99 IT GIVES YOU THE CHANCE TO LEARN THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LOVE AND SEX.

  A lot of people confuse love and sex. They equate them with each other and see sex as a way of expressing love. It is indeed, but only for married couples. There are so many other ways to express love other than sex. However, if you rush into sex, you may not be able to understand the difference. Sex cannot breed love. It can only help to renew love for married couples. One of the most rotten lines that have been used to seduce ladies is: "If you love me, prove it". The truth is that if that man loves you, he will be patient enough to wait for it.

  100 IT WILL LET YOU KNOW THE PERSON LIKES YOU - NOT JUST YOUR BODY.

  When your partner is able to wait for you, it proves he or she likes you truly and he or she is not just after your body. Marriage is a lifetime commitment and that is why sex is reserved for it. When you have sex outside marriage, there is every possibility that your partner is simply using you to assuage his or her sexual appetite. If he or she can wait till marriage, it proves that he or she truly loves you.

  Sex cannot breed love. It can only help to renew love for married couples.

  Yes...!

  If you wait for marriage before having sex, it can be more special. Rushing into it prematurely can take away the pleasure which God put in it.

  When your partner is able to wait for you, it proves he/she likes you truly and he/she is not just after your body.

  3

  THE AFTER EFFECTS OF

  PREMARITAL SEX; SEXUALLY

  TRANSMITTED DISEASES

  BACTERIAL VAGINOSIS (BV): The vagina normally contains mostly "good" bacteria. and fewer "harmful" bacteria. BV develops when there is an increase in harmful bacteria. In other words. BV is associated with an imbalance in the bacteria that are normally found in a woman's vagina and it is the most common vaginal infection in women of childbearing age. There are some activities or behaviours that upset the normal balance of bacteria in the vagina and put women at increased risk. They are:

  Having a new sex partner or multiple sex partners

  Douching: cleaning of the body by squirting water.

  Women with BV may have an abnormal vaginal discharge with an unpleasant odour. Some women report a strong fish-like odour, especially after intercourse. Discharge, if present, is usually white or gray; it can be thin. Women with BV may also feel a burning during urination or itching around the outside of the vagina, or both. However, most women with BV report no signs or symptoms at all which makes it more dangerous. There are some serious risks from BV: Having BV can increase a woman's susceptibility to HIV infection if she is exposed to the HIV virus. It also increases the chances that an HIV-infected woman can pass HIV to her sex partner and is also associated with an increase in the development of an infection following surgical procedures such as a hysterectomy or an abortion.

  CHANCROID is a bacterial disease that is spread only through sexual contact and it is a risk factor for contracting the HIV virus. Within 1 day -2 weeks after getting chancroid, a person will get a small bump in the genitals. The bump becomes an ulcer within a day of its appearance. That is, chancroid causes ulcers, usually of the genitals. Swollen, painful lymph glands, or inguinal buboes, in the groin area are often associated with chancroid. If left untreated, chancroid may facilitate the transmission of HIV.

  CHLAMYDIA is a common sexually transmitted disease (STD) caused by the bacterium, Chlamydia trachomatis, which can damage a woman's reproductive organs and cause infertility if not treated in time. It can be transmitted during vaginal, anal, or oral sex. The danger with it is that symptoms of chlamydia are usually mild or absent and serious complications that cause irreversible damage, including infertility, can occur "silently" before a woman ever recognizes a problem. Chlamydia also can cause discharge from the penis of an infected man. Any sexually active person can be infected with Chlamydia. The greater the number of sex partners, the greater the risk of infection. Because the cervix (opening to the uterus) of teenage girls and young women is not fully mature and is probably more susceptible to infection, they are at particularly high risk for infection if sexually active. Since Chlamydia can be transmitted by oral or anal sex, men who have sex with men are also at risk for Chlamydia infection. Its major havoc is INFERTILITY in both male and female infected person.

  DONOVANOSIS IS AN UNCOMMON BACTERIAL SEXUALLY TRANSMITIED INFECTION (STI). IT CAN BE PREVENTED BY ABSTAINING FROM PRE-MARITAL SEX. People with donovanosis usually notice one or more fairly painless ulcers or nodules on the genitals, or around the anus or mouth. Without treatment, these will increase in size. Other bacteria can infect these sores, causing them to become painful and distressing with an unpleasant smell. Symptoms generally appear from 3 to 40 days after infection. Occasionally symptoms may take as long as a year to develop. Donovanosis is contagious even when there are no noticeable symptoms.

  GONORRHEA is a common STI and anyone who has any type of sex can catch gonorrhea. The infection can be spread by contact with the mouth, vagina, penis, or anus. The bacteria grow in warm, moist areas of the body, including the tube that carries urine out of the body (urethra). I
n women, the bacteria may be found in the reproductive tract (which includes the fallopian tubes, uterus, and cervix). The bacteria can even grow in the eyes. You are more likely to develop this infection if you: have multiple sexual partners, have a partner with a past history of any sexually transmitted infection, etc. Symptoms of gonorrhea usually appear 2 -5 days after infection, however, in men, symptoms may take up to a month to appear. Some people do not have symptoms. They may be completely unaware that they have caught the infection, and therefore do not seek treatment. This increases the risk of complications and the chances of passing the infection on to another person.

  LYMPHOGRANULOMAVENEREUM (LGV) is an STD that primarily infects the lymphatic nodes. It is a chronic (long-term) infection of the lymphatic system caused by three different types of the bacterium Chlamydi,a trachomatis and the bacteria spread through sexual contact. LGV is more common in men than women and the main risk factor is being HIV-positive. Its symptoms can begin a few days to a month after coming in contact with the bacteria. Some of its symptoms include blood or pus from the rectum (blood in the stools), drainage through the skin from lymph nodes in the groin, painful bowel movements (tenesmus), small painless sore on the male genitals or in the female genital tract, etc.

  MYCOPLASMA GENITALIUM. This is another delicate STD that is transmitted between partners during unprotected sexual intercourse. Some of its various symptoms are: Urethritis (in men), discharge (both sexes), burning while urinating (both sexes), arthritis/reactive arthritis (mostly men), vaginal itching (women), pain during intercourse (women), etc. In the long term, mycoplasma genitalium is suspected to cause pelvic inflammatory disease (PID).

  SYPHILIS is an STD that has often been called "the great imitator" because so many of the signs and symptoms are indistinguishable from those of other diseases. The transmission of the organism occurs during vaginal, anal, or oral sex. Many people infected with syphilis do not have any symptoms for years, yet remain at risk for late complications if they are not treated. It grows in stages: primary and secondary stages. The primary stage of syphilis is usually marked by the appearance of a single sore (called a chancre), but there may be multiple sores. The time between infection with syphilis and the start of the first symptom can range from 10 to 90 days (average 21 days).

  The chancre is usually firm, round, small, and painless. It appears at the spot where syphilis entered the body. The chancre lasts 3 to 6 weeks, and it heals without treatment. However, if adequate treatment is not administered, the infection progresses to the secondary stage. Skin rash and mucous membrane lesions characterize the secondary stage. This stage typically starts with the development of a rash on one or more areas of the body. The rash usually does not cause itching. Sometimes rashes associated with secondary syphilis are so faint that they are not noticed. In addition to rashes, symptoms of secondary syphilis may include fever, swollen lymph glands, sore throat, patchy hair loss, headaches, weight loss, muscle aches, and fatigue. The signs and symptoms of secondary syphilis will resolve with or without treatment, but without treatment, the infection will progress to the latent and possibly late stages of disease. In the late stages of syphilis, the disease may subsequently damage the internal organs, including the brain, nerves, eyes, heart, blood vessels, liver, bones, and joints.

  TREPONEMATOSIS ENDEMIC. It is also known as treponemiasis and traditionally refers to the group of non-venereal diseases (including endemic syphilis). Patients with treponematosis may have rash or lesions (wounds) that either do not heal or that continue to spread and its later stages may present with various skin, bone, and joint manifestations. At the primary stage, the wounds are painless, white, mucinous ulcers within the oral cavity, where they may be overlooked. Late in the course of disease, it may lead to bone deformities. Much of the transmission is thought to be from mouth-to-mouth contact or from shared eating utensils or drinking cups.

  PUBIC LICE. Pubic lice are small, six-legged creatures that infect the pubic hair area and lay eggs. Pubic lice are known as Phthirus pubis and they usually spread during sexual activity. Almost anyone with pubic lice will have itching in the area covered by pubic hair (it often gets worse at night). This itching may start soon after getting infected with lice, or it may not start for up to 2-4 weeks after contact. Other symptoms are skin reaction that is bluish-gray in colour, sores (lesions) in the genital area owing to bites and scratching, etc.

  SCABIES. Scabies is a well-known infection that results in a particularly relentless and devastating itch that starts out slowly and increases in severity over time. Direct skin-to-skin contact is the mode of transmission. Scabies mites are very sensitive to their environment. They can only live off of a host body for 24-36 hours under most conditions. Transmission of the mites involves close person-to-person contact of the skin-to-skin variety. It is hard, if not impossible, to catch scabies by shaking hands, hanging your coat next to someone who has it, or even sharing bedclothes that had mites in them the night before. Sexual physical contact, however, can transmit the disease. In fact, sexual contact is the most common form of transmission among sexually active young people, and scabies has been considered by many to be an (STD).

  CANDIDIASIS VULVOVAGINAL is an infection of the vagina's mucous membranes caused by a type of fungus known as Candida albicans. The Candida species of fungus is found naturally in the vagina, and is usually harmless. However, if the conditions in the vagina change, the infection could come up. Predominant symptoms are vulval itching, abnormal vaginal discharges, dyspareunia, dysuria, and odour.

  AMEBIASIS: It is an infection of the intestines caused by the parasite Entamoebahistolytica which can live in the large intestine (colon) without causing disease. Sometimes however, it invades the colon wall, causing colitis, acute dysentery, or long-term (chronic) diarrhoea. The infection can also spread through the blood to the liver and rarely, to the lungs, brain, or other organs. It is spread through food or water contaminated with stools. This contamination is common when human waste is used as fertilizer. It can also be spread from person to person – particularly by contact with the mouth or rectal area of an infected person. It can thus be transmitted through oral and anal sex. The symptoms could be mild or severe from abdominal cramps, diarrhoea, fatigue, excessive gas, rectal pain while having a bowel movement (tenesmus), unintentional weight loss to severe symptoms such as abdominal tenderness, bloody stools, fever, vomiting, etc.

  CRYPTOSPORIDIUM is a microscopic parasite that causes the diarrheal disease cryptosporidiosis. Both the parasite and the disease are commonly known as "Crypto." There are many species of Cryptosporidium that infect humans and animals. The parasite is protected by an outer shell that allows it to survive outside the body for long periods of time and makes it very tolerant to chlorine disinfection. Some of its symptoms are frequent watery diarrhoea, nausea, vomiting, abdominal cramps, low-grade fever, etc. Cryptosporidium infection can thus be spread in several different ways from contaminated food and water, from animal-person contact, and via person-person contact. No safe and effective treatment has been successfully developed to combat cryptosporidiosis.

  GIARDIASIS. It is also called beaver fever and it is a diarrheal or diarrhoea (the condition of having three or more loose or liquid bowel movements per day) infection of the small intestine. There are multiple modes of transmission, including person-to-person, water-borne, and venereal. Some of its risk factors are exposure to a family member with giardiasis, institutional (day care or nursing home) exposure and unprotected anal sex. Its symptoms are abdominal pain, diarrhoea, gas or bloating, headache, loss of appetite, low-grade fever, nausea, swollen or distended abdomen, vomiting, etc. The time between being infected and developing symptoms is 7 -14 days and the acute phase lasts 2-4 weeks.

  TRICHOMONIASIS. It is a sexually transmitted infection caused by the parasite Trichomonas-vaginalis and it is found all over the world. It is spread through sexual contact with an infected partner through penis-to-vagina intercourse or vulva-to-vulva contact. Th
e disease can affect both men and women, but the symptoms differ between the two groups. In women, for instance, some symptoms may include discomfort with intercourse, itching of the inner thighs, vaginal discharge (thin, greenish-yellow, frothy or foamy), vaginal itching, vulva itching or swelling of the labia, vaginal odour (foul or strong smell), etc. In men, symptoms include a burning after urination or ejaculation, itching of urethra, slight discharge from urethra, etc.

  CYTOMEGALOVIRUS: It is abbreviated as CMV and it is a common virus that can infect almost anyone. Most people don't know they have CMV because it rarely causes symptoms. Once a person has had a CMV infection, the virus usually lies dormant (or inactive) in the body, but it can be reactivated. The fact is that, once infected with CMV, your body retains the virus for life. The virus is more likely to be reactivated and cause serious illness in people who have weakened immune systems due to illness. The symptoms of a CMV infection vary depending upon the age and health of the person who is infected, and how the infection occurred. CMV can cause serious infections in people who have received organ transplants or those whose immune systems are weakened. In someone with AIDS or HIV; CMV infection may involve the lungs, nervous system, gastrointestinal tract, and the eye, sometimes causing blindness. Anyone with a new or past CMV infection can transmit the virus to others, even if he or she isn't showing any symptoms. But transmission usually requires fairly close contact; the virus can be spread through saliva, breast milk, vaginal fluids, semen, urine, and stool. It also can be present in blood products and donated organs, causing infection after a blood transfusion or organ transplantation. There's no cure for CMV.

  EPSTEIN BARR VIRUS. It is frequently referred to as EBV. When infection with EBV occurs during adolescence or young adulthood, it causes infectious mononucleosis 35% to 50% of the time. Symptoms of infectious mononucleosis are fever, sore throat, and swollen lymph glands. Sometimes, a swollen spleen or liver involvement may develop. Heart problems or involvement of the central nervous system occurs, though rarely. Although the symptoms of infectious mononucleos is usually resolved in 1 or 2 months, EBV remains dormant or latent in a few cells in the throat and blood for the rest of the person's life.