by Jenika Snow
Alexis smiled and got back on her haunches. For a long second he still kept his fingers wrapped around her wrist, and she felt her skin heat from his touch. Her heart jumped in her throat, pounding deep inside of there, making her feel like she couldn’t breathe. The way he looked at her, stared at her, made her feel like maybe there was something unspoken between them. Maybe he felt the same way for her that she did for him? But she was too much of a coward to press him, to ask him.
When he let go of her hand she felt disappointment fill her. The silence stretched between them as they picked up the rest of his tools. Only when he stood and picked up the box, putting it in the back of his truck, did she rise up as well.
Alexis had to crane her head back to look at him, his stature so big, so tall compared to her. She had never been one to consider herself small, not with her curves or her rounded bottom and amplified chest. But with Deacon she felt feminine, tiny. He didn’t make her feel on the plus size like so many others had in her life.
And he’s the one I want to be the father of my baby. And as much as I love him, care about him, if he can give me the one thing I crave, I need desperately in my life, it would be perfection.
“Can I make you dinner tonight?” The words tumbled out of her mouth before she could even think about them. He looked surprised by her offer, and just as she was about to apologize, take it back, he grinned.
“I’d love that, Alexis.”
Tonight she’d be honest with him. Tonight she’d tell him what she wanted, even if it was the craziest fucking thing ever.
4
“Yeah, Deacon, just go ahead and completely agree to have dinner with the neighbor you’ve wanted like a fiend. It’s not hard really. You get to sit there all evening and try to think of something cool and witty to say.” He stared at his reflection and felt like a total loser.
He’d decided to pull out his suit and the tie, only he looked and felt like a damn penguin. Pulling at the tie, he threw it across the room so that it landed on the bed. This was dinner at her place, not at the fucking opera. Removing the crisp shirt, he tossed it aside, not watching where it landed. Pressing two fingers to the bridge of his nose, he took a deep breath and tried to fucking focus.
Throughout all of his years, he’d never once been on a date or gone to dinner with a woman, or done anything that could put him in that line of fire. Before Alexis, when he’d met females, he’d picked them up in bars. He’d never had relationships with them, not for more than a few hours. No messy breakups. No chance of finding each other again. No commitment.
Random, meaningless sex.
He didn’t do love or Valentine’s Day, or meeting the parents, or date night.
Yet, with Alexis, he wanted to do something like that. He’d been celibate since the moment he laid eyes on her, only wanting her, only needing her. He wanted to do mundane things, like take her out to fucking dinner, or hear about her day. Just listen to her talk.
He loved the sound of her voice. It was sweet, delicate, and every time he heard her, he relaxed.
“It’s just dinner. That’s all it is. Dinner.” He took a deep breath and then stared at his reflection.
He loved Alexis.
Even that didn’t sound like a strong enough word.
He wanted her; there was no doubt about that. There had been many a night when he’d thought of going over to her door, knocking, and asking to be invited in. It was kind of stupid really how long he’d been living next door to her, and they’d rarely spoken.
“You’re totally blowing this out of proportion. It’s just dinner.” Running fingers through his hair, he blew out a breath.
Going to his closet, he found exactly what he was looking for: a pair of jeans and a tee. The shirt covered his heavily inked arms as it ended at his wrists.
Staring at his reflection, again, he felt fucking fake with the damn shirt, so he rolled the sleeves up his forearms.
Problem solved.
Heading downstairs, he made his way into the kitchen and grabbed a beer from the fridge. Popping off the cap, he took a long, hard swig, and leaned against his kitchen counter.
He was so nervous about tonight. The reason he’d dropped his fucking tool kit was because he’d known she was watching him, had felt her gaze on him even.
Of course that had brought her over to him, and just being near her made him imagine all the things that he honestly didn’t think he’d ever have himself. It was so fucking stupid really, but he imagined having babies with her, getting married, spending his life with her.
He was a guy. Men were not supposed to want or even imagine those things, right? But when he thought about fucking her, taking her, making her pregnant with his kid … it turned him on.
What the hell was wrong with him?
Babies and marriage were not part of his future, or at least they hadn’t been until he saw Alexis and wanted her.
“Get a grip, buddy.” Finishing off the beer, he made his way outside and toward his flowerbed. Yes, he liked to weed and to grow flowers. Maybe it wasn’t masculine, but he didn’t fucking care what anyone thought. He worked on motorcycles and planted flowers.
He stared at the flowers in question. He didn’t have a clue which kind these were. They’d been here since before he moved in, and he enjoyed the calmness that came over him whenever he worked to keep them alive.
Snipping a small bundle, he made his way inside and found some ribbon. He was a guy of many talents, and liked to do more than just mess around with cars and bikes. Wrapping the flowers up, he then grabbed the bottle of wine out of the fridge.
There was no point in putting off the inevitable.
He checked to make sure he was okay, and then made his way out of his home and across the yard to hers. He stood at her doorway and knocked.
Glancing past his shoulder at the street, trying to focus on something other than his nerves, he waited for the door to open. When it did, he faced forward and saw Alexis’s beautiful smile.
Her eyes sparkled, and her grin totally made him hard for her.
“I got these for you,” he said. God, he was starting to sweat, and feeling like a teenager asking her out to prom. Get a fucking grip, man.
“Flowers and you picked them?”
“Yes.”
“They’re beautiful, Deacon. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Wine as well. I don’t know what you like.”
He was so fucking nervous.
“This is really sweet. Thank you.” She held the door open and he stepped inside her home. The scent of chicken, garlic and other herbs and spices assailed him, and his mouth watered. His stomach chose that moment to growl and she chuckled. “Don’t worry. I cooked a lot.”
He followed her through to the kitchen.
Her home was feminine: light colors, floral scents. He loved it. She had a few pictures around that he was curious about. He was interested in her and wanted to know more.
“Thank you for helping me pick up my tools earlier,” he said, trying to start some kind of conversation to lessen his anxiety.
“You’re very welcome.” She opened a cupboard and reached for a vase on the top shelf, but couldn’t quite touch it. He quickly leaned in to pull it out for her.
“Here you go.”
“Thank you. I should have this kitchen redone just so that I can reach things.”
He chuckled. “Don’t worry about it. Just let me know whatever you need help, and I’ll be more than happy to come get you what you want.”
He noticed her gaze drop down his body and her cheeks got a delicate shade of red. Now he was curious as to what she was thinking about because it certainly wasn’t grabbing things from high places.
5
Alexis should’ve gone easy on the wine, but she was already pouring her third glass. The dinner with Deacon had been pretty incredible so far. She didn’t want the night to end, especially when she was feeling a buzz and her emotions were riding high.
She le
aned back in her chair and reached for her now full wine glass, bringing the rim to her mouth and taking a long sip. They’d already polished off the bottle Deacon had brought over, or more so, she’d finished it off. He’d only had one glass. But she’d been prepared and had a couple bottles stored away.
Her good intentions were telling her to slow down, that if she kept it up she’d end up getting a little too tipsy and possibly putting her foot in her mouth.
“Dinner was great, thank you again,” Deacon said and brought his beer bottle up to his mouth, taking a hearty drink.
“It was my pleasure. I love cooking and I figured you probably don’t get a home cooked meal very often living alone.” She glanced away, biting at her bottom lip. “I didn’t know if maybe your girlfriend cooked meals for you when she came over.” Although she was pretty certain he wasn’t in a relationship, she supposed this was her way of asking him without actually doing so.
When he didn’t respond she lifted her head and looked at him. He was watching her with this intense gaze, his expression almost guarded.
“No girlfriend. And once I moved out my mom stopped making meals for me.” He started laughing, his grin wide, straight white teeth flashing at her. She felt her face heat, and instead of putting her foot in her mouth again she took another long sip of wine.
He stared at her, his gaze dipping to her mouth, and then lower to her chest. Alexis felt her pulse race and she finished off her wine, holding the stem of the glass tightly between her fingers.
Yeah, she was getting good and drunk. And slowing down didn’t seem like an option. She stood, bracing her hands on the table, her knees slightly wobbly. “I’m going to grab another bottle,” she said, mainly to herself. He stood as well.
“Mind if I grab another beer?” His eyes looked a little glossy, but then again, hers probably did too.
“Sure.”
They walked into the kitchen and she grabbed a bottle of wine off the rack, then walked over to the fridge and opened it, pulling out another bottle of beer. She was about to open it for him, but he reached out and took it, his fingers brushing hers. Alexis’s heart started racing fast and painfully. She swallowed, her throat feeling dry and tight.
“Want to sit in the living room, maybe watch a movie?” The words tumbled out of her on their own. She hadn’t meant to ask if he wanted to do anything more than dinner, but with the alcohol moving through her she was doing a lot of things she normally wouldn’t.
“Yeah, that sounds pretty amazing actually.”
Alexis licked her lips after he spoke. His voice sounded husky, deeper than usual.
They headed out of the kitchen into the living room. She set her wine glass and the bottle on the table and went over to the TV stand, grabbing the remote and turning it on.
They both sat on the couch, the TV volume low, the heat in the room thickening, intensifying. She poured herself another glass of wine before leaning back and taking a long sip from it, her focus on the screen, but very aware that Deacon was right next to her.
Moments passed—maybe it was just a few minutes, or maybe it was twenty that had already gone by—but she felt herself becoming relaxed, her inhibitions dwindling. She looked over at him. He seemed stiff, tense beside her.
Alexis tipped her wine glass back, good and inebriated at this point. Hell, she’d have loose lips here in a moment. She took in his square jaw, and the day’s worth of scruff that covered his cheeks. His short dark hair was a little on the messy side, and extremely attractive. His body was big, dwarfing the couch, his muscles screaming masculinity.
And as he stared at her and she at him, she found herself opening her mouth, knowing she was about to say something she’d regret.
“Do you ever think about the future?” Her pulse was beating rapidly in her throat and she exhaled, trying to calm herself. “Like think about children, marriage, things like that?” She knew he was a few years older than she was, so surely he had to have had those thoughts cross his mind.
He lifted his hand and ran it over his jaw, his focus back on the TV for only a split second. When he looked at her again he exhaled. “Yeah, I actually think about it all the damn time.”
She stared at her wine, her body warm and not just from the alcohol, but also because of where this conversation was going. A wave of dizziness washed over her. She knew it wasn’t because of the alcohol, but because all she could think about was having Deacon close to her, and wanting to tell him how much she cared about him.
And wouldn’t this be the perfect time?
Her inhibitions were low, and it looked like he was on the tipsy side as well. She wouldn’t have to feel nervous or anxious, embarrassed for saying anything.
“You know, for a long time I’ve actually been attracted to you,” she found herself saying, the words spilling from her before she could really contemplate what she was doing. She glanced over at him and saw he was already watching her.
“Yeah?” He seemed surprised. “Why didn’t you ever say anything?”
“I guess I was too embarrassed. I didn’t know if you were in a relationship, and you never really paid attention to me, so I didn’t want to press anything.” She shrugged. “I’m also not the type of person who actually goes out and says this kind of stuff. But—” She lifted her wine glass. “—I’ve had enough of these to where I don’t really care right now.” She started chuckling.
“I’ve actually wanted you for long time, too.”
She felt her eyes widen at his admission.
“But I guess I was too nervous to say anything, figuring you were in a relationship, too, or you’d turn me down.”
She found herself shaking her head slowly and looking away from him. “No, I wouldn’t have turned you down. In fact…” God, was she actually going to say this? She looked over at Deacon again. “I thought about the future with you a lot.”
His eyebrows lifted in surprise. “You did? Like what?”
She licked her lips again and curled her fingers even tighter around the wine glass. If I say this there’s no going back. When Alexis looked over at Deacon once more, she knew it was now or never. The worst that could happen was he turned her down, thought she was insane, never spoke to her again. And although that sounded like hell, she had to say this. “I thought about things, like baby things.” She felt her face heat, knew it was probably red as a tomato.
“Baby things?” His voice sounded strange, tight.
Alexis nodded. “Yeah, like you and I… And babies.” Oh God, as soon as the words left her mouth she regretted them, wishing she could take them back. She’d probably just ruined everything. In a matter of seconds he would no doubt get up and leave, never speaking to her again.
But he didn’t get up and leave. He also didn’t say anything. It seemed like an eternity that he just sat there and stared at her, this uncomfortable silence stretching between them, the air seeming to become thicker, making it hard for her to breathe.
“I—I don’t know why I said that.” She closed her eyes and shook her head. “Can we just pretend like that never happened?” God, if the earth could just swallow me up right now that would be awesome.
“Look at me, Alexis.” He had a commanding tone in his voice and she couldn’t deny him. She found herself looking over at Deacon. He still didn’t say anything for a moment, but she couldn’t tear her gaze from his. “If you think I haven’t thought that exact same thing, you’d be wrong.”
Her heart stopped, her body broke out in a light sheen of sweat, and she replayed that last part over and over in her mind. She didn’t know what was happening, or how it really even started, but they were here now, at the same intersection.
“You want kids pretty badly?” he finally asked, pulling her from her thoughts. Alexis found herself nodding. “That’s real good then,” he responded even though she hadn’t verbally said anything. “That’s real good because I want kids pretty badly, too.”
All of the air left her lungs, leaving her on this
whoosh. She started chuckling, her nervousness making that tick rise up. “Then maybe we should make a baby deal.” She started laughing harder, joking … kind of. But Deacon looked serious, dead serious in fact.
“A baby deal.” He said it without stating it like a question. “Yeah, I think maybe we should.” He looked her up and down, and she felt her nipples harden, felt her pussy become wet. “You want a baby. I want a baby. The attraction between us is mutual. I’d say that’s a recipe for the perfect arrangement, don’t you think?”
Because she couldn’t believe this was actually happening, she found herself nodding.
He leaned forward and grinned. “So, Alexis, how about you and I make a baby?”
6
The following morning Deacon was pretty sure Alexis wouldn’t remember a single word they’d spoken last night. As soon as he’d asked her if she wanted to make a baby, she’d responded with, “Yeah, put your baby inside me.” Then proceeded to pass out. Holding her in his arms, even if she wasn’t aware of it, felt incredibly special and right to him.
He’d carried her up to bed, removed her shoes and tucked her into bed before coming down to sleep on the couch. He’d thought about going home, but he’d stayed, wanting to make sure she was okay, but most importantly, wanting to be there first thing in the morning to talk about what had been discussed last night.
He’d been serious, and he hoped like hell she had been too.
As he rubbed the sleep from his eyes, he wondered what she’d remember or what she’d think.
Did he want to be a baby daddy? The short answer was yes, yes he did, but only with Alexis.
He wanted Alexis, had for a long time. He’d even go as far as to say he was head over heels for her, obsessed, territorial.
She was the sexiest woman he’d ever seen and the desire he felt for her hadn’t diminished once. In fact, the more he thought about her, the more he wanted her. Throwing a baby in the mix, now that just made everything even hotter. But could they be parents?