Wild One (Summer Rush #5)

by Cheryl Douglas

  “You really think so?” She knew he did, but hearing her friend say it would put any lingering fears to rest.

  “A guy doesn’t do the things he has for you, and me, if he doesn’t love you.”

  That was true. His offer to help Lorna was just an extension of his love for her. He was sending a message. The people who were important to her were important to him too and he would do anything he could to help them. He wanted to be her partner in every sense of the word, and she wanted that too.

  ***

  Sitting in his hotel room and watching hockey was making Dec antsy. He thought about going out for a jog or hitting the gym, but before he could, someone tapped on his door. His room service had already been delivered so he could only hope…

  “Hey, you,” he said, opening the door and pulling Marika into his arms. “I wasn’t sure I’d get to see you tonight. I figured you’d be beat after working all day, dealing with reporters, Lorna’s…” Shit. There were tears in her eyes. “Baby, what is it? Why’re you so upset?”

  “I’m not.” She sniffled before wrapping her arms around his waist and laying her head on his chest. “I’m happy.”

  “These are happy tears?” he asked, thinking he’d never be able to tell the difference.

  “I can’t believe what you did for Lorna.”

  “Oh, that.” He’d thought about asking Lorna to keep it between them, but he knew it wasn’t fair to keep another secret from Marika. “It’s no big deal. I had the money and she needed it. End of story.”

  “How can you say that?” she asked, leading him to the bed, where she fell back on the mattress and took him with her. “It is a big deal. It’s a huge deal. For her and her son.”

  Dec rolled on his back, closing his eyes as he sifted through Marika’s hair while she unbuttoned his shirt. “I’m just glad I could help.” He breathed deeply when she reached for his belt buckle. She must be exhausted, but he wasn’t strong enough to resist sex if she initiated it.

  “But why?” she asked, slipping her hand into his open jeans as she kissed his neck. “Why did you do it?”

  “Because I…” Goddamn, how was he supposed to think straight with her hand wrapped around his shaft? “Uh, know how important they are to you. And you’re important to me.”

  “How important?” she asked, gliding her lips all over his chest.

  “So important.” He tugged her blouse free of her pants, needing to feel her skin and the lacy fabric encasing her breasts. He needed to be inside her and block out everything else for a good long while.

  She released him, resting her hands on his chest as she looked up at him. “I think I’m going to sell my practice, Dec. How would you feel about that?”

  “I, uh…” He covered his eyes with his hand, trying to regain focus. A minute ago he’d been on the verge of making love to her. Now she was asking him to comment on a decision that impacted her entire career?

  She sat back, staring at him. “You don’t think it’s a good idea, do you?”

  “Babe, I’m not sure what you’re asking. What you’re considering. Talk to me. Tell me.”

  She sat up, resting her back against the pillows with her head on the headboard. “What happened to Lorna made me realize that life can change on a dime. This time yesterday, she thought she was the happily married mother of a newborn. Now she’s on the verge of becoming a single mom and she has to start from square one again.”

  “I guess she does,” he said, rolling onto his side to face her while he rested his head in his hand.

  “She thought she had it all figured out. Career, good husband, nice home, new baby. I thought she had it all. But it was a façade.”

  He waited for her to continue, certain her best friend’s situation had prompted her to do a lot of soul searching.

  “She pretended to be happy even though she was sinking.”

  “People do that all the time, don’t they?” he said, slowly unbuttoning her blouse. He didn’t want to distract her, but he couldn’t stop touching her.

  “That’s what I was doing,” she said, looking at him before he could spread her blouse and kiss her. “Pretending to be happy, pretending that my career was enough to satisfy me. But it wasn’t. Not even close.”

  “It’s been the same for me,” he admitted, resting his hand on her stomach. “I love baseball. I made a lot of money. I told myself I didn’t have a right to expect anything more. But I wanted more.”

  She slid down, rolling onto her side so they were face to face. “What more did you want?”

  “I wanted this.” He kissed her. “I wanted someone to talk to, to share things with. I wanted someone I could plan a future with.”

  “I want that too.” She set her hand on his bare chest. “That’s why I’m selling my practice.”

  He held his breath. Part of him wanted to pump his fist in the air, but the other part of him was afraid she was sacrificing too much and would end up resenting him. “What made you decide that? You know there’s no hurry, right? If you need more time to be sure—”

  “I’m sure that I love you,” she whispered, melting him with her smile. “I’m sure that I want a life with you. I don’t know exactly what that’s going to look like yet, but I know what I want.”

  “Tell me.” He’d do anything he could to make her happy.

  “I’m going to sell my practice here and apply for my medical license in Missouri.”

  “You’re sure that’s what you want?”

  Her smile slipped as she edged back on the bed. “Is that not what you want? Am I being too presumptuous, assuming you’re ready for us to live in the same state? It’s not that I’m asking to move in with you or anything. I can get my own apartment and we can… do what we’ve been doing here. Keep seeing each other.”

  Irritation warred with amusement as he looked at her. She was trying to protect herself by back-tracking, but didn’t she know by now that she didn’t have to do that with him? It was safe for her to love him, to put herself out there. He would never reject her or let her down. “Of course I want you to move in with me. You know how much I travel during the season. I want you with me every minute when I’m home. But if moving in together is too big of a step…?”

  “I wouldn’t be willing to relocate if I wasn’t ready for the next step, Dec.”

  “Good.” He pulled her into his arms, questioning why he didn’t feel as happy as he thought he should. Deep down, he knew the reason. She was giving up everything, he was giving up nothing, and he was afraid that would come back to haunt them.

  Chapter Seventeen

  “I’ve decided to sell my practice, Dr. Morrison.” Marika sat on the other side of his massive oak desk as she tried not to fidget.

  “I see.” He removed his dark-rimmed glasses and set them on the desk. The owner of the medical building was a bear of a man in his early seventies, and he’d once practiced as a pediatrician himself. “May I ask why?”

  “I’ve decided to relocate.” She had no reason to feel guilty, but the thought of leaving her patients and their parents, who’d put their faith in her when they’d chosen her as their child’s doctor, gave her pause.

  “Does this have something to do with the news I’ve been hearing about you?”

  Marika winced, wishing she didn’t have to have this conversation at all. Her personal life had always been a non-issue before, mainly because she’d never done anything exciting enough to warrant a reprimand or even a conversation.

  “Yes.” She curled her hands around her knees, trying to remain calm. “I’m involved with someone who resides in the States, and I’ve decided I’d like to move… to be with him.”

  “You intend to marry him to obtain your citizenship?”

  “No, I already have dual citizenship. I was born there.”

  “I see,” he said, resting his elbows on his armrests as he laced steepled his fingers. “Still, it’s a big decision, isn’t it? You’re very highly regarded around here, Dr. Boyd.”
<
br />   “I appreciate that, but this feels like the right decision for me. I’d like to open a small practice in Kansas City, perhaps cut back my hours a bit.”

  “Your boyfriend is a baseball player, correct?”

  “Yes.”

  “So you could, in theory, go to all the trouble of setting up this practice and he could be traded next season, couldn’t he?”

  She didn’t know the terms of Dec’s contract, but she assumed that was possible. “I suppose he could.”

  “Obviously this is your decision, but I would imagine the spouses of athletes have to put their careers on the back burner, or have careers they can easily work from anywhere. That’s not the case for you. Your career means you’re rooted to one spot.”

  She hadn’t thought beyond moving and setting up shop. She knew he’d just been traded a year or two ago and assumed he’d be in KC for some time. But she didn’t know that. He didn’t even know that. It was the team’s decision. They held Dec’s fate, and hers, in their hands. “I understand that.”

  “And you’re okay with that kind of risk?” His smile was grim when he said, “Most of the doctors I’ve known throughout my career, Dr. Boyd, have been pretty conservative. They like to mitigate risk whenever possible. Are you telling me you’re the exception to the rule?”

  “No.” She couldn’t think of a single time when she’d taken a risk, save the decision to go to medical school. And her one-night stand and subsequent relationship with Dec. That was proving risky.

  “Obviously this is your business.” After a heavy sigh, he said, “But I know how hard you’ve worked to build your practice, and I know your patients and colleagues all think highly of you. Are you sure you want to give that up for a relationship that… may be temporary?”

  She’d never given Dr. Morrison any indication that her relationship with Dec was temporary, but she wasn’t wearing a ring on her finger, so he likely assumed it was.

  “If you’re not certain,” he said gently, “you could always take a little more time to decide. No one is forcing you to make this decision right now.”

  Dec had told her that if she needed a little more time to take it, but if she failed to commit now, she may never move forward. She’d be stuck here missing him when he left for spring training. But then once the regular season started, he’d be on the road at least half the time, so if she moved, she’d be at his place missing him. It felt like a no-win.

  “Maybe I should take a little more time,” she whispered, feeling nauseated. “Thank you for seeing me.”

  He stood to shake her hand, his smile sympathetic. “Let me know what you decide, Dr. Boyd. And either way, good luck to you. I know it must be a difficult decision.”

  He had no idea. “Thank you.”

  ***

  Dec and Marika were dining in her favorite restaurant, but he could tell she was distracted, just as she had been for the past several days. She hadn’t said anything more about selling her practice and he’d been afraid to ask, in case she felt he was pressuring her.

  “I had a meeting with the owner of my medical building the other day,” she said as she reached for her wine glass. “If I sell my practice, he has to approve the sublet for the term of my lease.”

  “Oh yeah, how did that go?” he asked, trying to keep his voice neutral. He was nervous as hell, knowing their relationship hung in the balance, but he was trying not to let it show.

  “He gave me a lot to think about,” she admitted, closing her eyes briefly before draining her wine glass.

  “Then you’re still struggling with your decision to sell your practice?” She’d seemed certain about selling when she told him her intent, but something had obviously happened to change her mind.

  “It’s a huge decision,” she said, watching him refill her wine glass. “I’ve worked so hard for this, Dec. And I’m just scared to let it all go and start all over somewhere else. Especially when there are no guarantees.”

  He knew she was referring to their relationship. The only guarantee he could give her would be a ring on her finger, and he wasn’t sure she was ready for that. “You have to be sure,” he said, trying to ignore the sinking feeling in his stomach. He wanted Marika with him more than anything, but not if it meant she was miserable.

  “I know.” She bit her lip as she reached for her wine glass again. “And I thought I was, but there’s just so much to consider.”

  “There is.” He was being so civil when he really wanted to growl in frustration. He’d finally, after years of playing the field, found the woman he wanted to commit to, and she already had commitments that may prove stronger than her commitment to him.

  “My landlord made a good point. He said I could get there, spend time building a practice, and you could be traded. Then I’d have to start all over again.” She looked at her half-empty plate. “I’m a doctor. I can’t keep starting all over every few years.”

  “I get that.” Logically, he understood what she was saying. He couldn’t give up baseball, and she could never give up medicine. It was a part of who they were.

  “How many years do you have left on your contract?”

  “Two.” He’d signed a three-year contract last year, and while he hoped for an extension, nothing was guaranteed. He could sustain a recurring injury that would sideline him and make him less valuable to the team.

  “Two,” she whispered. “Barely enough time to get a new practice off the ground.”

  “So what are you saying, Marika?” The knot in his stomach grew as he asked, “Where do we go from here?”

  “I’m not sure. Maybe you’re right. Maybe I do need a little more time to sort this out.”

  “I can give you that time.” The swell of disappointment made it difficult to speak. “Since I have to go home for a couple of weeks anyhow.” At her look of surprise, he said, “I have some endorsement obligations I need to fulfill.”

  “Oh.”

  He knew she was probably questioning why he hadn’t mentioned it before. He could have pushed it out if he’d needed to, but it suddenly seemed as though a short separation was exactly what they needed.

  “We’ll still talk,” he assured her, trying to make it seem like less of an ending, though that was what it felt like to him. He was afraid she’d call him and tell him not to bother coming back because she’d made her decision to stay.

  “Of course we will,” she said, forcing a smile. “Every night.” She nodded as though she too was trying to convince herself.

  “It’s just a couple of weeks. Maybe by then you’ll have some… clarity.”

  “I will,” she said, her eyes filling with tears. “I have to, don’t I?”

  ***

  Dec had only been gone three days, but Marika missed him already. Her parents had invited her over for dinner—to get her mind off things, her mother had said, though Marika knew that wasn’t possible. Her impending decision weighed heavily on her every minute of every day, and every time she thought she knew what she would do, she considered the implications of making the wrong choice and felt sick. She’d never been an indecisive person, and it was making her crazy.

  “You okay?” her mother asked, touching her back while Marika chopped vegetables.

  “Sure.” She forced a smile. “Just got a lot on my mind. You know how it is.”

  “I do.” She pulled up a stool at the counter, collecting the vegetables Marika had chopped and placing them in a casserole dish before seasoning them. “I was in your position too, honey. I had to leave everything I knew and loved behind for your dad.”

  Marika knew her mom had sacrificed a lot to support her father, but her mother’s life had been much different than hers. Her mother hadn’t had a career and she’d had two small children to raise. Marika’s career was all she had, all she’d ever needed, until Dec came along.

  “Then he did the same for me.” She smiled. “When your grandmother got sick and we came back here, your dad didn’t even hesitate, though I knew how much he
hated leaving Virginia.”

  “You ever think about going back? To live?” Marika hated to think she still needed her parents the way she had when she was younger, but it would be nice to know they were a short flight or day’s drive away if she felt the need to see them on a whim.

  “We’ve talked about it,” she said, nodding. “If you decide to move, we just might too.”

  “There’s just so much to consider.” She sighed. “Every time I think I’ve made my decision, I get paralyzed with fear again. I don’t know what to do.”

  “Anyone in your position would feel the same way. Being a doctor has been your dream for as long as I can remember.” Her smile was gentle when she said, “And you always knew you’d be a pediatrician because you love kids so much. Wouldn’t you like to have one of your own?”

  “Of course I would.”

  “So maybe this is the time for that.”

  “No.” Marika felt a surge of excitement at the possibility but quickly tamped it down. “Dec and I aren’t ready for that. We’ve only been dating a short time. We’d have to be together for years before we decided to get married or start a family.”

  “Says who?” She shook her head. “You know I love you, but sometimes you’re so rigid.”

  Marika opened her mouth but snapped it shut, determined to hear her mother out.

  “You got pregnant with Dec’s baby after you’d known him one day,” she said, raising a finger to emphasize her point. “One day.”

  Marika blushed. “That doesn’t mean it was ideal, getting pregnant the way I did.”

  “Really? I think having the decision taken out of your hands, getting pregnant the way you did, was exactly what you needed. You didn’t have time to analyze your decision to death. You woke up one day and found out you were going to be someone’s mom. And I watched you shift your priorities in a heartbeat. Suddenly nothing was more important to you than being there for that baby.”

  “Yeah, but—”

  “No buts. Please, hear me out.” She took Marika’s hand. “I know you’re a perfectionist. You like to be in control of every little thing. That’s why change scares you so much. You hate the idea of moving to Missouri to be with Dec because you can’t control whether or not he’ll be traded.”