Infamous Love

by Lea Coll

  “Alice, be happy they didn’t. You were way too young. Your reputation wasn’t tarnished. Mom and Dad will pay for college wherever you want to go. You have options.” I wish I could go to college without being known as the bad girl, or the life of the party. I would have liked to have that experience.

  “I don’t want to go to college.”

  “Trust me, Alice, the show isn’t what it seems. The part I played will haunt me forever. Anyone can look up my name, see the articles, the comments, the stupid things I did.” I lived in a constant state of awareness that someone could recognize me, judging me for who I was then.

  “I wish you’d change your mind.”

  “I’m not going to. Please don’t tell Emily I will.” If she did, Emily would be on a plane, coming here to convince me to go back. Knowing her, she’d probably bring a camera, filming it for attention. All it would accomplish would be to ruin my reputation here, destroying any chance of starting a new life.

  “If you wait too long, they’ll move on to something else.” Her voice was pleading, almost desperate.

  Guilt filled me that I was here, and she was there alone, handling sharks. How many times had we been told if we didn’t do what they wanted, we wouldn’t be popular, no one would watch us? We had to keep the show interesting, ratings up, and people clamoring for more. It was all at our expense. “I want them to move on to someone or something else.”

  I didn’t want that someone else to be Alice. Growing up, it was her and me. My parents were busy working. They worked in LA, only coming to the beach house on some weekends. We had a nanny, but her involvement was minimal. We had money, time, and a huge house at our disposal. I saw the show as an escape.

  I wanted better for her. “I wish you’d come here, let me show you the town.”

  “I’ve been there, remember? It’s boring. I don’t like the cold.”

  She’d always been a California girl, loving the warm weather and sand. LA was exciting, the possibilities endless, the downside devastating. I had no idea it would alter my reputation forever. Hopefully, with distance and time, people would forget.

  “Be careful, Alice.”

  “I will. Talk to you later, sis.”

  On the show, the producers quickly pegged me as the villain. I played the jealous girl who came between the fan-favorite sweetheart couple. I had no idea how that description would plague me when I tried to get a real job.

  I wanted to save my sister from that life. If she was determined to experience it for herself, I wasn’t sure there was anything I could do to prevent it.

  Chapter 6

  Gray

  * * *

  “Your next puppy ate raisins,” Sheila said as I grabbed the folder, seeing Crew Carmichael at the top.

  My heart rate picked up, moving quicker as I pushed the door open. For a brief second, I hoped Elle was overreacting, but Crew sat on the metal exam table, his head bowed, drooling, showing clear effects of toxicity.

  Elle lifted her head from Crew’s back, her eyes shiny with tears. “Can you help?”

  Seeing Elle like this, scared and crying, tore at my heart, unraveling it like a ball of yarn, one strand at a time. In these situations, I was efficient, calm, and cool under pressure. I knew what to ask, what to do. Yet today, at the sight of Elle wiping away the tears on her cheek, the panic laced in her voice, I felt sluggish. “Has he thrown up?”

  Elle’s brow furrowed. “No.”

  “Did you try to induce vomiting?” Experienced owners knew to feed their dogs hydrogen peroxide, making them throw up, before driving to the vet. Elle probably didn’t know that trick.

  She shook her head slowly. “No, I don’t know how to do that.”

  Panic rose in my throat, squeezing it. Saving Crew’s life was vital. Something told me Elle wouldn’t survive it if something happened to him.

  “How many raisins did he eat? How long ago did he eat it?” I glanced at the clock, ready to calculate the number of raisins in his system, and how long they had been there, to determine if I could save his life, or if there was too much for his small system.

  Elle let go of Crew to rifle through her purse, holding up a red raisin box. “He got into this. It was in my purse.”

  “How full was it?” A few raisins weren’t a big deal. The whole box, however, was dire for a small puppy.

  “It was new. He ate all of it. I’m not even sure when he ate it. He was already drooling when I found the empty box.” Her tone was defeated.

  It was the worst-case scenario. A large number of raisins in his system for an unknown period of time. I’d do anything I could to save him, hoping we weren’t too late.

  I looked at his eyes and mouth, quickly probing his body for any other injuries. “We’re going to take him in the back to induce vomiting. Then we’ll administer activated charcoal to get it out of his system. We’ll need to keep him here for observation for a few hours, if not overnight.”

  Elle nodded, the motion jerky, more tears welling in her eyes.

  Elle gave Crew a quick pat on his head, her fingers shaking as she kissed him. She murmured something to him I couldn’t hear.

  When Elle stepped back, I called for Sheila to come and get him. When Sheila gathered him up, leaving the room, a small sob erupted from Elle.

  She covered her mouth with her hand, her shoulders hunched. “I don’t know what I’d do if anything happened to him.”

  I wanted to go to her, eliminate the space between us, and assure her everything would be fine.

  “Will he be okay?”

  Flexing my fingers, I resisted the urge to touch her, to hug her. I barely knew this woman, yet I wanted to relieve her pain, her worries. “I hope so. It depends on how long ago he ate them, how much he ate, and how much his small body can take.” Hating how impersonal my voice sounded, I softened my tone, “I’ll do everything I can to save him.”

  “I knew chocolate was bad, but not raisins. I’d forgotten those were even there.” Her tone was laden with guilt and shame.

  I stepped closer, standing in front of her. I wanted to reach out and move a stand of hair out of her face. Standing this close to her made it hard to breathe. My chest felt tight and my ears were ringing.

  She looked up at me through wet lashes, her lips parted slightly.

  I wanted to soothe the ache in my chest and the pain I saw in her eyes. I had no business offering her comfort by touching her or pulling her tight against me. She was a client. Crew was my patient. The only thing I could do was promise her I’d do anything to save him. “I’ll keep a close eye on him and call you with any updates.”

  Elle stepped closer, her hand squeezing my forearm lightly. “Thank you, Gray.”

  My eyes followed her movement, the warmth of her hand seeping through my doctor’s coat. My resolve weakened at the touch. I cleared my throat. “You’re welcome.”

  Elle removed her hand, picking up her purse.

  She wasn’t any more neglectful than most owners. Not all dogs dug through purses for food, but some did. I pulled out a business card, writing the directions to induce vomiting on the back, along with my personal cell phone number. “Buy hydrogen peroxide. Next time this happens, mix it with some yogurt or whatever he’ll eat. It will make him throw up. Then bring him to me. It’s best to get it out of their system quickly.”

  She chewed her lip. “Okay. I can do that.”

  “If you have any questions, please call.” I handed her the card, wondering if I’d been too forward by giving her my number. She had to know I didn’t do that with my other patients.

  “I’ll do that. Thank you so much.”

  I hoped leaving Crew with me eased her stress. I wouldn’t let her down.

  I suspected Crew was holding her together. If something happened to him, she’d unravel. I understood that. I felt that same desire to have a pet. But I’d never been able to get one of my own, no matter how much I loved animals. The thought of something happening to them was overwhelming.
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br />   “I’ll do everything I can for him.” Seeing the appreciation in her eyes, I turned away to wash my hands so I wouldn’t say anything else to her. I’d never felt this overwhelming need to help someone, to take away their pain.

  When I heard the door click closed, I carefully dried my hands, taking a deep breath to clear my head. I couldn’t get the look on her face, this morning, out of my head. Tear-streaked cheeks, red and puffy eyes, all because she cared about her puppy.

  Elle Carmichael was deeper than I thought. If I were a different man, I might want to get to know her better, ask her out on a date, find out why she’d moved here, why she needed a dog to survive. But I wasn’t that man.

  I was a shell of who I was supposed to be. I had no interest in connecting with another person outside of the Rigby family. It hurt too much to put yourself out there, to allow someone else to have control, the power to betray you, or walk away.

  I kept a close eye on Crew that afternoon. I was concerned about all the animals under my care, but I didn’t want to deliver bad news to Elle.

  When Sheila came into my office during a break between appointments, I asked, “How is Crew?”

  “He’s doing good. Do you want me to call his owner to pick him up?”

  Relief poured through my body, easing the taut muscles in its path. “No. I’ll do it.”

  Sheila paused. “You will?”

  “Yeah, I had something I need to talk to her about.” I wanted to hear her voice. I needed to be the one who told her he was okay.

  Sheila looked confused, probably because I almost never called clients unless there was a problem, or I was updating them on the outcome of a surgery. Then she saw the book on the desk in front of me, How to Care for Your Puppy.

  “Do you want me to leave that at the front counter for her?”

  I wanted to hand it to her. I pulled it as an excuse to see and talk to her, to assure her everything would be okay.

  “Um, yeah. That would be great. Thanks.” I handed her the book, my stomach sinking that I wouldn’t have an excuse to see her. It was probably for the best. Women like Elle wanted the house with a white picket fence. Not one you purchased to prove something.

  Sheila walked out. I pulled Elle’s phone number up on my computer screen, calling her.

  “Hello?” Her voice came over the phone sounding husky.

  My dick twitched in my pants. “Elle Carmichael?”

  “Gray? Is that you? Is Crew okay?” Her words were rushed, lined with stress.

  “He’s fine. I was calling to let you know you can pick him up.”

  She exhaled, the sound drifting over the line. “Oh, thank God. I thought you were calling with bad news.”

  I could imagine her placing a hand over her rapidly beating heart, her shoulders sagging in relief. I didn’t admit that this wasn’t a call I ever made. That was probably what Ed was talking about. I was generally impersonal with clients, letting Anne handle them once they left the exam room. “I left something at the front desk for you. A book. Read it.”

  “Thank you, Gray.”

  My heart turned over in my chest at the sound of her saying my first name, soft and full of appreciation. Pride filled me that I’d been the one to help her.

  “You’re welcome.” This soft exchange snagged the old wound in my chest, ripping it open. Feeling like an idiot, I hung up. I didn’t know what I was doing or why I was attracted to this woman. What was different about her?

  There was something in her eyes, in her desperation to make sure her dog was okay, that reminded me of myself.

  I was discussing a surgery with another pet owner in the lobby when Elle walked in looking more put together than she had this morning, the tension I’d held in my body all day easing. She wore a puffy jacket open over a flannel shirt tied at her waist, exposing a sliver of her stomach above skintight leggings and boots. She didn’t look like any California girl I ever envisioned. She looked more like a Colorado girl, one who was up for anything life had to throw at her. I liked that.

  I refocused my attention on the dog owner standing in front of me, answering his questions about the aftercare for his dog following surgery, telling him to follow up if the incision site was still red and bumpy after a few days. I was eager to speak to Elle.

  I should have walked to the back, cleaned up for the day, and checked the patients who’d stay overnight before I left them in a vet tech’s care. Instead, it was like there was an invisible line pulling me to the counter.

  As I approached, Elle pulled out her credit card, handing it to the receptionist. The book I’d left for her sat on the counter in front of her.

  “Oh, Dr. Stanton left that for you,” Anne pushed it toward her, taking the card to the other end of the counter where the credit card machine was.

  Elle picked up the book, a curious expression on her face.

  I searched my brain for something intelligent to say. I could ask if she was here to pick up Crew, but that was obvious. I settled for what I wanted to know, “How are you?”

  Elle startled, spinning to face me, the book clutched in her hands. “Oh, you scared me.”

  “Sorry.” I reached out a hand to touch the small of her back to steady her, comfort her, at the same time grounding myself. Her ponytail swished behind her as she held the book out to me.

  She smirked. “You think I need more dog training?”

  A smile played on my lips as the old flirting techniques I’d used when I’d first moved here came back to me. I moved closer to her, anchoring a hand on the counter. Time slowed as I watched her eyes darken at my proximity. “You did bring your dog in with a life-threatening emergency just this morning. So…”

  I let my voice trail off, tilting my head slightly.

  A blush tinged her cheeks. “Are you flirting with me?”

  The confidence I’d felt a minute ago evaporated now that she’d voiced it out loud. Stepping back, I said, “Yes. No.”

  Did she want me to?

  She looked down, shaking her head slightly.

  Seeing her that torn up over her dog made me long for that attention on me. It was stupid. It was childish, but I couldn’t help how I felt. I wanted more of her. I wanted to touch her hair, to test its weight. I wanted to touch the sliver of her belly that was on display. I wanted to move closer, tilting her chin up while I watched her eyes darken with desire for me.

  Maybe it wasn’t crazy. Maybe we could have a one-night stand. A no-strings fling. If only she’d be up for that. Anything more was too risky. A woman wanting a relationship would ask questions about my family and why I rarely visited home.

  Her tongue darted out to lick her lower lip, her teeth followed up with a delicate bite. I almost groaned out loud before I realized where we were.

  “There you are, Ms. Carmichael.” Anne thrust the card between us, bringing me back into the moment.

  I took a step back, shooting Anne an apologetic look. “Crew looks good. Keep an eye on him tonight. If he seems lethargic or starts drooling again, call me. My number is on the card I gave you.”

  Nothing that was happening was usual or made sense. When Elle looked up at me, her warm brown eyes appreciative, everything seemed to fall into place. It felt right to offer her help. I wanted to reach out a hand to tuck a wayward strand of her hair behind her ear. I wanted to ask her out on a real date, but Anne’s gaze was heavy on us.

  “There’s your receipt. Call us, or Dr. Stanton, if you have any issues. I’ll get Crew for you.”

  Anne wasn’t used to me flirting with anyone, much less a client. It was probably her way of asking what the hell I was doing.

  Anne walked to the back leaving us alone. Elle looked at me, questions swirling in her eyes.

  She swallowed, my attention drawn to the line of her neck, the beat of her pulse. “What are you—”

  “Go out with me.”

  “I’m sorry?”

  “I like you.”

  Her eyes widened in disbelief. “That’s s
traightforward.”

  “I’m nothing if not honest.” I wanted to say, ‘you get what you see,’ but that wasn’t true. I wasn’t even particularly honest if you considered the fact that no one, not even my best friend, knew anything about my life before college.

  “Somehow I doubt that.” She tilted her head slightly, a playful smile on her lips as she considered me.

  Anne walked back to the lobby, the scrape of Crew’s excited paws on the floor filled the air. The tension between us dissipated as Elle dropped to her knees on the dirty floor, opening her arms to her puppy. Crew pulled at the leash until Anne let go. Elle giggled as Crew placed his paws on her shoulders, licking her face. “That’s my boy. I’m so glad you’re okay.”

  I wanted to say, ‘I’m happy you’re okay. Not Crew. You. Elle Carmichael. The new girl in town.’ The desire to change my lonely existence was strong.

  “I’m going to get the files ready for tomorrow. The front door is locked.” Anne walked away without waiting for me to respond.

  It hadn’t escaped my attention she never answered me about a date. She clearly loved animals. Maybe this was a way to draw her in, in a way that was nonthreatening to her. The word date evoked so many things she might not be ready for. I wasn’t either. “I have to make a house call to check on a horse. Would you like to come with me?”

  She patted Crew’s head, taking his leash before standing in front of me. Her lips curved in a small smile. “You make house calls?”

  Was she considering my invitation? The muscles in my shoulders tensed in anticipation. “It’s a horse, so it’s part of the job. I have a few clients that aren’t as mobile. I like to make sure they can keep their pets. I do whatever I can to make things easier for them.”

  Her eyes softened. “You’re a mystery, Gray.”

  “A good one, I hope.” I ignored the trepidation in my belly. I wasn’t a good mystery, but she never had to know. We could have a good time, a diversion from the boring life I’d led in Colorado so far.

  “I’d love to go with you. Do you mind if Crew comes?”

  Joy filled my chest, filling the hollows, smoothing the jagged edges like water slamming on rocks. “Of course. Let me grab my things. I’ll meet you by my truck. It’ll be easier if I drive. I can drop you off here afterward.”