Infamous Love

by Lea Coll

  “Okay.”

  I left before she could change her mind. My pulse pounded in my ears. What was I doing? Why was I creating a relationship when I could pursue something physical with no strings attached with someone else? Elle wasn’t the type of girl who’d want a one-night stand, but I wanted her any way I could get her, even if it meant pursuing a relationship with her though it went against every instinct in my body.

  I hung my white coat on the door, grabbing my heavier jacket I wore in the field, one I didn’t mind getting dirty.

  Chapter 7

  Gray

  * * *

  On the way out, I waved to Anne, not stopping for the questions I knew she had. I never answered her questions, but that didn’t stop her from asking them.

  Stepping outside, Elle was walking the perimeter of the parking lot. Light from the parking lot illuminated her face as I approached. Her face was welcoming, her full lips sexy and inviting. I didn’t deserve her, but I sure as hell wanted her.

  “Are you ready to go?” I stopped in front of her, my hands in my pockets.

  “Yeah. This your truck?” She gestured at the black truck that had seen better days.

  It was a used one I’d bought from Paul when I moved here. A truck was necessary living in Colorado, but it wasn’t so pretty I worried about dirtying it up.

  Opening the passenger side door, I helped her into the cab, thinking Elle Carmichael could use some dirtying up. Would she let me be the guy to do it? Closing the door firmly behind her, I rounded the hood.

  I didn’t know what I was doing. I didn’t have a plan. I was dormant for years waiting for something, or someone, to wake me up. Climbing into the truck, I made sure Elle buckled her seat belt, with Crew curled into her side before I backed out.

  I don’t know why I ever thought she was flighty or had gotten Crew for the wrong reasons. I wanted her to be exactly as she seemed.

  I had so many questions about her life, her past, and why she was here, but those questions invited reciprocal ones I wasn’t ready to answer. Instead, I went with something germane, “You like Telluride, so far?”

  “I love it. It’s exactly what I needed.” She settled back in the seat.

  I didn’t want to interrupt her to ask her what she needed: peace, tranquility, or an escape? Colorado was that for me. I wasn’t wrong when I thought we were kindred spirits, that there was something in her calling out to me.

  “It’s been that way for me too.” My voice was quiet in the cab, the blare of the heat the only other sound.

  “Yeah, how so?”

  I felt her gaze on the side of my face. My heart rate picked up. I hadn’t meant to open the door to her asking questions, it was just so easy to talk to her. “I had nowhere to go after I graduated from vet school. My best friend from college, Henry, told me about the opening at the clinic. He encouraged me to apply, said I’d love it here. That it would be exactly what I needed.”

  “Is it?” Her tone was soft.

  For some inexplicable reason, her being here gave me more reason to want to stay. “I hope so.”

  “Me too. I have everything riding on this business. If it doesn’t work, I don’t even want to think about the alternative, going back to LA.”

  I could tell by the slight grimace on her face, going back to LA wasn’t really an option. It was too early to ask why that was. “I’m sure the business will be successful.”

  She tilted her head considering me before I turned my attention back to the road. “Are you going to let me cut your hair?”

  I cleared my throat, imagining me sitting in a chair, her standing close enough to run her fingers through my strands, her breasts at eye level. “My friend’s sister cuts my hair.”

  She nodded, smiling. “Ah. You’re not pretentious.”

  “I’m the opposite of pretentious.” At least now that I’d learned an important life lesson. Nothing was certain. Nothing was guaranteed. Nothing was permanent.

  “I like that. I’ve had too much of that in my life.”

  Being from LA, that made sense. The pressure to be perfect must have been heavy. I wondered if that was what she was running from. “Is that how you were?”

  “Not by choice.” Her tone was bitter.

  Had her parents held unrealistic expectations for her? Was it a boyfriend? I wanted to know everything there was to know about her, but I couldn’t voice that sentiment out loud. It was too soon for intense conversations, even if this seemed like the most meaningful one I’d ever had.

  I turned into the driveway under the wooden, rustic ranch sign with the words Rigby’s Ranch on it.

  “This is beautiful.” She gazed out the window at the expanse of property, the mountains in the distance, her lips slightly parted in awe.

  I tried to remember what I’d thought about Colorado the first time I’d visited with Henry. The terrain of Colorado, the majestic mountains surrounding the town, so different from the rolling hills and trees of my childhood town. “This is what I love about Colorado.”

  “Do you live on a farm like this one?” she asked as we pulled up to the house. You could see the large barn with stables behind it.

  “No. I live in an apartment.” For the first time, I was embarrassed to admit I was thirty and living the life of a bachelor. I shifted in my seat, grabbing my bag from the back.

  “That’s a shame. I figured you’d own a pack of animals as a vet.”

  I placed the bag in my lap, something cold shifting in my chest. Every answer was highlighting my barren existence. “No. No pets.”

  She looked at me as if I’d said something unbelievable. “A vet who doesn’t own any animals.”

  “I’m too busy taking care of everyone else’s, I guess.”

  I got out of the truck before I said anything closer to the truth. I’d had a home, a family, a dog, and a girlfriend. It was all taken in the middle of the night. When you lived life as if nothing bad could happen, you set yourself up to lose things.

  I opened the door for her. She held Crew’s leash as he hopped out, nose to the ground. “I’d leave Crew on the leash so he doesn’t get lost.”

  “I was planning to. I can’t take any more emergencies today.” She placed a hand over her chest.

  “At least you’re with a vet this time if anything goes wrong.” My tone was light.

  She smiled. “That’s true.”

  Paul opened the door. “Gray. You here to check on Blaze?”

  He glanced at Elle, his brows raised in silent question.

  Maybe I shouldn’t have brought her. I didn’t want Paul or Rose getting their hopes up that we could be a thing. Not only was it too early, but it was also fairly unlikely she’d like me after she got to know me. “That’s right. I brought a friend along to see your horses if that’s okay.”

  “Never a problem, Gray. This is your home too.” The sentiment was one he’d said often, but I never allowed myself to believe in the myth. I’d carefully numbed myself to the words, remembering nothing was mine.

  Paul stepped closer, holding his hand out to Elle. “I’m Paul Rigby.”

  “Elle Carmichael. Nice to meet you.”

  He rocked back on his heels, his hands pushed into his pockets. “You’re new.”

  I could practically feel Paul questioning what she was to me when I’d never brought anyone here, much less a woman.

  “Yeah, I own the new barbershop in town. Smoke & Mirrors.” Her tone was tentative like she couldn’t believe it was hers.

  “My daughter, Piper, works there. A spa for men or some nonsense.”

  Elle smiled. “Oh, right. I should have realized Piper is your daughter. It’s a traditional barbershop with reasonable prices. I wanted men to feel like they had a place to go that was a small break from their day. A luxury.”

  “I live on a farm. I don’t need luxury, but I might try it out one day. I’ve heard good things.” Paul’s tone was admiring.

  “I think you’ll do well with the tourists. Some
of them are too busy to get cuts back home when they’re working all the time.” I touched her shoulder briefly, offering support. Many of the locals might find her shop frivolous or a waste of money.

  Paul nodded before stepping toward the barn. “That’s true. I think the tourists will like it. The season should be picking up soon.”

  I saw the curve of her lips grow, her eyes shining with excitement. “That would be nice. I could use something to look forward to.”

  I wanted to grab her hand, squeezing it to reassure her things would be okay. I didn’t because I wasn’t here for that. Instead, I took Crew’s leash from her, tying him to the fence post just outside the stable.

  “Dogs don’t always like horses and vice versa,” I said by way of explanation.

  Elle crouched down, patting Crew’s head. “Stay here. Away from the horses.”

  Her tone was light, almost baby talk. The gaping hole in my chest grew wider to see her so open with her love for Crew. She was opening me to things I hadn’t allowed myself to feel in years.

  Paul let us into the stable, stopping in front of Blaze’s stall. “I’ll lead him out for you.”

  “Appreciate it.” Then to Elle, I asked, “Have you ever ridden a horse?”

  She laughed. “No. I grew up in a small beach town. Not much opportunity for horseback riding, although I loved horses as a little girl.”

  “I could see that.” Hair in braids as she jumped from one adventure to another, I pictured her young and fearless, the whole world in front of her, waiting to be conquered. The image was so strong, I was momentarily stunned by the intensity.

  She was casting a spell on me, making me want to be in her sphere. No one had ever done that. Not even my high school sweetheart who walked away when things became too much for her. She hadn’t stood by me. She’d believed the rumors and speculation.

  I blinked away the memories, focusing on Blaze who stood in front of us.

  “Can I touch him?” Elle asked tentatively.

  “Sure, you can. Stroke him like this.” Paul held Blaze by the harness, showing Elle how to touch his nose and the side of his neck.

  I grabbed two apples, throwing one lightly in the air and catching it. I demonstrated how to hold her hand out flat, letting Blaze eat from it. I was surprised when she took the second one from my hand, mimicking my pose. I’d expected her to be afraid. Horses could be intimidating.

  She was fearless. She laughed when Blaze sniffed her hand, eating delicately from her. “He’s so sweet.”

  “As long as you know how to handle him, he is. You have to be careful, though. Horses are a lot stronger than us.” My words came out harsher than I intended, reverting to the way I’d talked to her in my exam room. I didn’t want her to get hurt.

  “I know, Gray. I’ll be careful.” I liked the way she’d said my name. Her voice soft, her tone almost affectionate.

  I moved to Blaze’s rear end, needing to create space between us, wanting, but not quite ready for the intimacy of being close to her. Lightly touching Blaze’s leg, I bent it, examining the hoof. “It looks great. You’re doing a good job cleaning it. You’re putting iodine on it?”

  “Every day.”

  “Good.” I dropped his hoof to the ground.

  “Thanks for coming out. Do you want to stay for dessert? Rose made a peach pie,” Paul said.

  I wanted more time with her. I wanted her to say yes.

  “Oh, I’d love to.” Elle’s response was immediate, her smile genuine.

  It only made me like her more. We waited while Paul put Blaze back in his stall. On the way to the house, I unwrapped Crew’s leash, handing it to Elle.

  Did she realize this was very date-like? Showing her a horse, eating pie with friends…

  We walked in the back door, kicking off our shoes in the mudroom, and washing our hands in the basin. The smell of warm peaches filled the air, reminding me of my mom’s home. “You can let Crew loose in the house.”

  Elle unclipped his leash, tucking it into her back pocket. I trailed Crew and her into the kitchen.

  “You have a beautiful home, Mr. Rigby,” Elle said when we stepped into the large kitchen where Rose was pulling the pie from the oven.

  “Call me Paul. This is my wife, Rose.”

  “This is Elle Carmichael. She’s opened the barbershop.” Paul told his wife.

  “Oh, how amazing. I’m so excited when new things open up here. Piper said it’s the cutest place. You give out toy cars to the kids.”

  “Yeah, and lollipops.”

  “What a cute idea. A nice addition to the town.”

  “Thank you.” Elle looked pleased.

  It made me wonder if she wasn’t used to compliments. I had no idea she gave out cars to the children. I thought she was catering mainly to men. “I bet the kids love it.”

  “They do. The moms do too.”

  Rose cut generous slices of pie, adding vanilla ice cream on the side. “Here you go. Why don’t you sit on the back porch? It’s a beautiful night to watch the sunset. I’ll keep an eye on your pup.”

  I took the plates without arguing. I led the way outside, sitting on the swing. The setting was intimate.

  Elle placed the glasses of water on the end table, sitting next to me. “Do you ever get used to the view of the mountains?”

  I looked out over the fields, lush green giving way to mountains. “No. I’ve been here for years and I’m still in awe of them. I can’t imagine living anywhere else.” It was the first time I’d admitted it to myself. The mountains had been my constant over the last few years, a reminder the world was vast. That no one would find out about my past, or if they did, they wouldn’t care.

  I handed her the plate.

  Taking it from me, Elle said, “This smells amazing.”

  “Rose is a great cook. I come here when I need a home-cooked meal.”

  “That’s nice.” She took a bite, closing her eyes. “Mmm. That’s good.”

  I swallowed hard when she moaned, her tongue darting out to remove a crumb from her lip. I had to look away, focusing on my own pie.

  I knew I’d have to reciprocate when I asked a personal question. I still wanted the answer. “Did your mom bake?”

  She laughed. “Our nanny cooked for us. She didn’t do much baking.”

  I looked at her in surprise. I didn’t have the perfect family growing up, but I had two parents in my life, even though they were divorced. That probably made what happened in the end, worse.

  Elle shrugged. “My parents were always working. It was the same with most of my friends. What about you?”

  “My mom loved to bake.” The comforting memory came back to me.

  I hadn’t thought about her, or the kitchen I grew up in, for a long time.

  “Nice. So, you have good memories.”

  “I do have good memories of living with my mom. When I was a teenager, I thought it would be cool to live with my dad.” It was until it wasn’t.

  “Oh, your parents were divorced?”

  “Yeah, they divorced when I was young. I don’t really remember them ever living together.” There was something about eating pie and talking about our childhood that was comforting. I’d never allowed this level of intimacy with other women. I never brought them here, only to a bar or my apartment. Introducing them to the Rigbys was like introducing her to my family. I hadn’t intended tonight to be that. It sure felt like that now.

  I finished the last bite, stacking my plate on top of hers on the table. Then I pushed off the porch with my foot to slowly rock us. The subtle creak of the swing and the sounds of the night were all we needed to fill the air.

  “I love it here. I loved the sound of the beach where I grew up, but not the horns, traffic, or people in LA.”

  “I bet. I couldn’t live anywhere that wasn’t in the country.” Even though it would be easier to disappear in the city, I enjoyed the country air and the open spaces as well as taking care of large animals, along with dogs and cats.r />
  “You grew up somewhere like this?”

  “I did.” I wasn’t willing to delve any deeper into my past than I already had. An uncomfortable feeling slid down my spine. Too much of a good thing was bad. “Are you ready to head back?”

  She looked up at me in surprise, but she didn’t call me out on my abrupt change of subject. “Sure. Let me thank Rose and grab Crew.”

  I followed her inside, waiting while she thanked the Rigbys and clipped the leash onto Crew’s collar. I kissed Rose’s cheek, promising to come back for Sunday dinner.

  Rose grabbed my arm, holding me close to whisper, “Bring her again. She’s welcome whenever.”

  I smiled tightly, nodding in agreement even though I wasn’t sure I would.

  After we were alone in my truck, Elle asked, “You come to dinner every Sunday night?”

  “Usually. Henry comes too, so we have time to catch up.”

  “That’s nice.” Her tone was wistful.

  “Piper tends to miss them for one reason or another.” I never understood why. From where I stood, her family seemed perfect. I wondered what dinners were like at Elle’s house. Did she eat in front of the TV after the nanny made the meal? Did she sit at the table with her siblings to talk about their day, like I did with Mom? “Do you have any siblings?”

  Elle smiled. “I do. One younger sister, Alice.”

  I was glad she had someone. “Where is she now?”

  “She’s trying to figure out what she wants to do with her life. It’s not a sob story. My parents will pay her way, but she doesn’t want to go to college, or a trade school like me. She wants easy money, maybe become an actress.” Her tone was tinged with disgust.

  “Acting is a tough road.”

  “Tell me about it.” Then she snapped her mouth closed as if she’d disclosed more than she meant to.

  Was she an actress? She didn’t seem like the type. I wanted to ask more questions, get to know her. The problem was, she’d want to know me.