Willing Surrender

by Hole, Carrie

  Chapter 17

  Sundays were bittersweet, and this one was almost over. They’d spent a lazy day lounging by the pool and hanging in front of the T.V. Now Reina sat on the bed waiting for James to get out of the shower. She could have joined him, but she had a devious plan to have her way with him. He’d never let her get away with it in the shower, so she sat in nothing but one of his shirts trying to be patient. She smiled when she heard the water shut off, he was almost in her hands. When he emerged she stood up and watched him with hungry eyes. When he looked her way she motioned to him, smiling devilishly.

  “I have something for you,” she teased.

  “Do you,” he replied suggestively.

  She nodded, biting her lip. He came towards her, captured.

  “Now be still,” she told him. He raised his eyebrows at her, but didn’t say anything. She braced a hand on his chest, the other reaching to the back of his neck, as she leaned up to whisper in his ear. “I’m going to enjoy you, and you’re going to let me.” She closed her eyes as his lips grazed her neck.

  “If you say so,” he whispered back.

  She rubbed her lips back and forth across the side of his neck. She stepped back and looked into his eyes as she slowly ran her hands down his back, pulling his towel off on the way down, grazing her hands around his backside. She loved how she could feel his muscles tighten beneath her touch. She pushed her body into his as she brought her hands back up, leaving light scratches across his shoulders. She reached up and kissed him, hand on the back his neck. When she sensed he was on the verge of taking over she bit his bottom lip and pulled back.

  “Will you sit on the bed for me please,” she asked, running her hands down his chest. He clenched his jaw, but didn’t say anything as he sat on the edge of the bed. She smiled as she smoothed her hand down his arms and moved his hands to the either side of his thighs.

  “Now you keep your hands here,” she instructed.

  He licked his lips, body taut; the intense look in his eyes making her giddy. She pulled off her shirt and stepped between his legs slowly, like approaching a caged animal. She braced her hands on his arms as she sank to her knees. Obviously liking her in that position, his eyes sparked and his breathing deepened. Wrapping her arms around him she brushed her lips across his neck and down his chest. She rubbed against him cat-like just as she’d wanted to before. She looked up at him as she skimmed her hand down his stomach, down over his thighs and back up. The feeling of his body reacting to her touch and the look in his eyes was extremely arousing.

  She maintained eye contact as she wrapped her hands around his cock. She wet her tongue and licked it from base to head, then rubbed her lips around the edge and across the top. She repeated the motion a few times, watching his jaw clench in response. It was a heady sensation, like petting a panther while realizing it might bite at any moment. She stroked her hand up as she sucked the head into her mouth. He pulsed in her hand, silk covered steel. She lowered her mouth slowly, an inch at a time and back up, working the moisture with her hand. She worked down as far as she could and back up, circling the head and repeating. When he closed his eyes, hands tightening in the blanket, she became lost in the rhythm. Giving him pleasure automatically made her body respond. Her nipples were tight, her sex wet and throbbing instinctually.

  His hand came to her hair pulling her back, his eyes wild. Before she could stop him, he was backing her onto the floor. He ran his thumb across her clit, her wetness pleasing him.

  “Touch yourself,” he commanded.

  Eyes on his, her fingers rubbed and circled her clit. The sight of his powerful body poised over her as he stroked himself was enough to bring her spiraling towards climax. As her body arched, head thrown back, he marked her body with his hot seed.

  After a second round in the shower, James asked something that Reina wasn’t expecting.

  “Do you want to come with me to the set tomorrow?”

  “You want me to get up before the sun,” she joked.

  “I want you to come with me.”

  His tone made her turn to look at him; the look in his eyes was sincere.

  “Ok, I’ll go.” He smiled at her, which made getting up early mostly worth it.

  It turned out that getting up early was worth it, at least at first. James had coffee ready, which made her heart smile. He spent time introducing her to cast members and the staff that was around and he gave her a tour of the set. She had a chance to watch the make-up artists in action, and watch a scene being filmed. It was exciting and something she never thought she’d be doing. James brought her to an area laid out with catered food.

  “I have to change and take care of a couple of things, I’ll be back momentarily.” His fingers rubbed her wrist as he spoke.

  “Ok. I see coffee, I’m all good,” she laughed.

  She grabbed a cup of coffee and had only been there for a few moments when she was approached by a female. Reina recognized her, Alexis Richards. She was not only a producer for the show, she was also well known in the modeling and fashion industry. She was beautiful, the Hollywood ideal, tall, blonde, blue eyed, fit figure, flawless make-up, and designer clothes. Memories flashed through Reina’s mind of pictures she’d seen in a gossip magazine, pictures of Alexis and James. She didn’t know if they had actually dated, but it had been implied for a while. She wasn’t completely put off, but it was certainly a poor time to remember.

  Alexis held out her hand, introducing herself, “Alexis Reynolds.”

  “Reina Hessman, it’s nice to meet you.”

  “Reina...you’re James’ guest.”

  “Yes,” Reina replied.

  “So, what do you do?”

  “I’m in graphic design.”

  “Oh, what company do you work for,” Alexis asked.

  “I have my own small business.”

  “Ah,” Alexis replied, in a slightly demeaning tone. Reina might not have noticed if she weren’t so fluent in sarcasm.

  “Where did you and James meet?”

  “At a bar,” Reina smiled. This conversation is not going well, she thought.

  “Romantic.”

  Reina had just about reached her limit with the tone Alexis was giving her. “If you say so,” she replied.

  “Are you staying around here?”

  “I’m staying with James actually,” Reina smiled again, almost enjoying the narrowing of Alexis’ eyes.

  Alexis took a step closer to Reina, for a moment she thought Alexis might actually reach out and touch her. That would most certainly not end well.

  Alexis changed her tone, as if telling a secret. “I wouldn’t get too attached to him; relationships aren’t really what he’s known for.”

  That was it; that was Reina’s limit. She used the same tone back to Alexis. “Then I guess it’s a good thing I’m only fucking him,” she said with a wink and a smile. Then she started walking away. “It was a pleasure to meet you,” she called over her shoulder.

  Her destination was irrelevant; she simply needed to get away. She slipped into a bathroom and waited a sufficient time to most likely be safe from another encounter. She headed back to the food area, but as she rounded the corner she saw Alexis talking to James. They worked together, so them having a conversation wasn’t an issue, but it was a conversation Reina had no interest in being a part of. She walked toward the exit, called the driver, and went back to the house.

  Chapter 18

  James went searching for Reina and ended up having to deal with Alexis instead. Alexis’ father William was not only the executive producer, but he also had close ties to the network. Alexis started working on the show a couple of years ago and had been trying to attach herself to James ever since. James couldn’t be less interested. Everything about Alexis was contrived, there was an ulterior motive to everything she did and said. Her carefully crafted looks were a camouflage. She was arrogant, egotistical, and cruel. She would do anything and use anyone to keep herself front and center. As f
ar as she was concerned people were puppets and the world was her stage. He generally tried to keep a distance, running into her was never on his list of things he wanted to do. Even worse, she was perfectly aware that James’ detested her, and tried to play games anyway.

  Alexis put a hand on his arm, “James, I missed you.”

  He shrugged her off, “You can’t miss what you’ve never had. I’m not interested in your bullshit today, Alexis.”

  “You know I’m still waiting for you.”

  “It’ll be a long wait in hell. Go play your little games with someone else.”

  “Too busy playing charity for the fan club?”

  “What did you say,” James asked in a dangerous tone.

  “I see you’ve stooped to dating random fangirls. Couldn’t find a better pet?”

  “Her name is Reina. You’re just pissed that she’ll always be in a class above you without trying.”

  James looked around, “Is that why she’s not here? What did you say to her?”

  “Awe, did I touch a nerve? You know it’ll never work. She doesn’t fit into our world, they never do.”

  “Nothing fits in the same room as your ego,” James sneered. He walked away angry. Now he’d be spending the day wondering what damage had been caused instead of spending time with Reina like he’d wanted.

  Chapter 19

  Reina knew she shouldn’t let Alexis’ words get to her, she was obviously a nasty person, but she’d had all day alone with her thoughts. Everything she had conveniently avoided wouldn’t leave her alone. Six weeks, she’d been living with James for six weeks. Which was a problem because she didn’t live with James; she lived on the other side of the country. She’d let herself get comfortable; she’d let herself pretend that things were going to magically work out somehow. She’d let herself fall in love with him, and this wasn’t a fairytale. She’d never let herself get this close to someone, and now she was in too deep without even knowing where they really stood. She needed to go home and put some space between them so she could get some perspective. She needed Amy, she needed her house with her things, and she needed space.

  That was her mindset when James’ came home. She didn’t know how things would go, but this was all supposed to be just a visit anyway. If they were meant to work out, then it would happen. Although, she couldn’t see how it would work out considering their current residences, which brought her full circle. She was making herself crazy. She noticed a tension in James as he walked in, which made her want to comfort him. Trying to keep her courage she looked away, if she touched him it was over.

  “What happened to you today,” his question seemed casual, but there was an unusual tone to his voice.

  “Nothing,” she shrugged. “I figured you were busy, and I had a couple of things to work on.”

  “And nothing else happened?” This time his voice was sharper.

  She looked up at him and shook her head. He had a look in his eyes she hadn’t seen before that sent a shiver of apprehension through her.

  The look was anger. James knew that Reina tried to avoid what she didn’t want to talk about, but this time she’d looked right at him and lied. Meanwhile she had a look in her eyes that he recognized instantly. He tried to maintain his patience, but his heart was pounding a dangerous rhythm. She looked down, took a deep breath, and bit her lip. When she looked back up at him, he knew what was coming and it caused the blood to roar in his ears.

  “James, I think it’s time for me to go home.”

  “Why,” he asked quietly.

  His tone made Reina nervous. “It’s just time,” she replied.

  “And that’s it?”

  “James, I don’t...” Her heart was beating too fast, her breaths shallow.

  He interrupted her, “Now you’re going to run away.”

  “James I don’t live here. I have a home, I have family there. We never, I never…”

  Something inside him broke. She talked about going home, and all he could think was, I want to be her home. “So, you’ve had your fantasy with a celebrity and now you’re done?”

  His words stopped Reina in her tracks, and for a moment time stood still. Her emotions started rushing too fast, boiling past her ability to deal with them. She felt a numbness spreading through her, like liquid nitrogen, burning through her as it froze in her veins.

  “Right,” he continued angrily. “You’ve had your all-expense paid holiday and now you’re going back to your life.”

  The icy numbness burned right through her heart. She took a deep breath and let it all fade away. “Is that what you think,” she asked, toneless.

  “I don’t know what to think,” he yelled at her. “I can’t think when you’re this close to me.”

  She gave a mirthless laugh, “Then I guess it’s a good thing I’m giving you some space.”

  “It would seem so,” he answered bitterly. He clenched his jaw, and stormed out of the house.

  Reina stood there listening to his car pull away, trying to breathe. She embraced her numbness and started moving. She went upstairs, putting things in her bag as she made phone calls. She called the airline, not being able to get a flight that night, she booked the first flight in the morning. She called and made a reservation at the hotel closest to the airport then she called a taxi. She finished packing her things, wrote a note, and took off her jewelry. She left the note and the jewelry on the bedroom table. The taxi was there by the time she got outside. As she drove away she wished she hadn’t left a note, but there was no going back. When she reached the hotel she gave specific instructions that no one know she was there, and asked for a wake-up call. After reaching her room she texted Amy that she was safe and would be home tomorrow. She turned off her phone, set the bedside alarm, and drank from the minibar until she passed out.

  Chapter 20

  James drove recklessly, with no destination in mind, simply trying to outrun his tumultuous thoughts. There was a fire racing through his blood, and the sensation of barbed wire wrapping around his ribs. Since Reina had been so determined to leave him, he’d made it easy for her. She wanted to get away so damn bad, now she was free to go. It sounded good in theory, except he was anything but free of her. He pulled over, got out, slammed the car door, and paced rubbing his hands over the back of his neck. Fuck, he thought. The fire was consuming him, he was drowning in it. He’d believed the pretense of mutual completion, only to have her rip it away on a whim. He’d wanted to give her everything, and she’d rejected it.

  He rested his fisted hands on top of the car, the memory of her eyes running through his mind on repeat. Her eyes had flashed with pain, flared with wrath, and faded to empty. The pain he could try to soothe, the wrath he could weather. The glazed emptiness in her eyes was haunting him; he’d put that look in her eyes. He’d watched as she’d flipped the switch; the wall had come up faster than he could reconcile. The barbed wire cinched a little tighter. Every instinct screamed at him to fix it, to coax the life back into her eyes, to bring back the warmth in her voice. All the things he should have said were taunting him. Fuck. He needed her. He needed to put it all out there, and let the cards fall where they would, but he couldn’t leave it like this.

  As soon as he walked in the door he knew she was gone. He could feel the emptiness in the air like a weight on his chest. He walked the house anyway; maybe she’d only left to cool down. Even as he thought it he knew, she was not coming back. He reached the bedroom and stood in front of the empty space in the closet. The barbed wire cinched even tighter until his heart was bleeding. He stalked back through the room, feeling her imprint like a ghost. Out of the corner of his eye he saw her jewelry on the table, making his heart pound. As he closed in on it he saw her note: None of it mattered, I only needed you. The note crumbled in his fist as he struggled not to break something. A resolve started to settle over him. She was his, and he wasn’t letting her go, not like this.

  He tried to call her, but wasn’t surprised when she didn’t a
nswer. He left a message, sent her a text, and started calling hotels. He called every hotel within a ten mile radius of the airport, but no one would verify that she was there. He knew she wouldn’t be able to get a flight that night, so he needed to find out flight information for the morning. Knowing the airport staff wouldn’t tell him what he wanted; he called a friend and coaxed the information out of him. Reina was booked on the first flight, now he just had to get to her.

  He couldn’t let it rest though; he had to know that she was safe. He did the only thing he could think of, texted Amy.

  James: Have you heard from Reina?

  Amy: What did you do?

  Not having the patience for it, he called her.

  “Yes,” Amy answered.

  “Have you talked to Reina?”

  “I heard you the first time. What the hell did you do?”

  “Amy, just tell me if you’ve heard from her,” he warned.

  “Look James, I like you. I like how Reina is with you. But, don’t be mistaken, we are not friends. If you want anything from me, you’ll tell me what the hell is going on, and even then I’m not making promises. I’m just as likely to hang up on you.

  “I said exactly what would cut the deepest. Is that what you wanted to hear? Now tell me if you’ve heard from her before I lose my fucking mind.”

  Amy was a little shocked by his honesty. “She texted saying she was safe and coming home.”

  “Where is she?”

  “I don’t know. I probably wouldn’t tell you anyway, but I don’t know.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Don’t thank me. Knowing Reina, it’s probably not going to help you,” and she hung up.

  With nothing to do but wait, he stalked around the house. She was everywhere, yet out of his grasp. Her creamers sitting on the counter, her candy stashed in the cabinet, the scent of her lingering. The image of her open eyes looking up at him, and that final look she’d given him, the barbed wire cutting into his lungs.