Complicated

by M. M. Koenig

  “Yeah, but he has a side to him that rubs me the wrong way. I can tell he wants to protect her, but I don’t like that he seems to know more than us,” Trey countered.

  “Jayden, are you any closer?” Jackson asked impatiently.

  “Jackson, if you ask every five minutes it’ll take me twice as long. I’m going to have to dig deeper. If it’s what I think, Mia should be permitting me to do it,” Jayden hissed.

  I had hit my limit. My ears were burning with what I had heard. I pushed off from the wall with Bri hot on my heels. “And what do you need my permission to do, Jayden?” I asked.

  “With everything here, they believe you’re someone else. Speaking of which, there are a ridiculous amount of pictures wasted on that scar of yours. Does that mean anything to you?” Jayden asked before glancing over his shoulder.

  My anger with what had happened in the last several hours violently erupted through me. I looked around the room to see nothing but five pairs of anxious eyes staring at me. I looked at the ceiling and gave myself a mental pep talk. The fury that stems from that scar surged through me. If it had something to do with the entire nightmare my life had become, I might just go off the deep-end. Everyone continued to stare at me, waiting for an explanation.

  “I don’t remember getting it. I don’t have any memories of my life before living with Chase. The scar came before he took custody of me. I’ve tried to get answers over the years, but with no luck,” I clarified.

  I peeled my eyes away from counting the ceiling tiles to face the five nervous people around me. Jayden squirmed in his seat as his eyes went from mine to the floor in hesitation.

  I sighed. “You want a closer look at it, don’t you?”

  “It might help. If it’s OK with you, I’d like to search the birth and death records for the year you were left with Chase,” Jayden replied uneasily.

  I strolled over to him and extended my right arm. “Do what you have to do Jayden.”

  He gently rested his hands on my wrist as his eyes focused on the center of it. “Hmm … it’s subtle, but it’s there. Do you remember the names of your parents?”

  When Jayden appeared to be done, I pulled my arm away. “I think my mom’s name was Lizzie or Elizabeth. When he was drunk, Chase used to mutter those two names a lot.”

  “And your dad?” Jayden asked, with a careful eye on me.

  I looked away as fresh pain ripped through me. “I don’t know.”

  Jayden turned back to his screen. I walked backwards until I hit the couch. The pressure in my chest was nearing a point that felt like my lungs were being crushed. The only thing I wanted to do was keep walking backwards. I wanted to go back to that point in my life where there was no chance of finding out about a gut-wrenching past. I wanted to go back to the point where there was no double-crossing, blackmailing, or betrayal. I wanted to go back to where there were no secrets and lies; where you didn’t know how to lie, or tell secrets, because of the lingering childhood innocence within you. Wishing for that got me nowhere, so I shut off every part of me that could feel or consciously think about life. The emptiness was strangely comforting. It allowed everything to flow without any messy thoughts twisting and turning into a thousand different emotions that only made me feel worse as I gave into them.

  It probably isn’t going to last. I might as well savor it.

  “I’ll be damned,” Jayden murmured as his fingers flew across the keyboard.

  “Fuck,” Jackson gasped.

  “Shit,” Shane muttered, shaking his head in disbelief.

  Trey took small steps towards me and held his hands out for me to meet him halfway. I shook my head and refused to move. I didn’t want to see whatever had caused them to wig out.

  “Mia, you need to see this,” Trey urged. He tried very hard to remain indifferent, but his gray eyes gave away his true thoughts. Whatever was on the screen had freaked him out.

  Bri coaxed me to follow her. I remained planted to the floorboards. “Come on Mia. We’ve come this far,” she said evenly.

  I forced myself to embrace whatever was about to be revealed. I crept across the room to stand behind Jayden. My throat constricted with each step I took. It was downright close to a thin line at this point. After looking at the article on one of the computer screens, I choked to catch my next breath. My shaky hands flew to my mouth as my eyes widened in shock.

  Jayden glimpsed at me. “I’m going to assume by your reaction that you know this is you. I’d say you’re around four, possibly five. When were you brought here?”

  My body began to shake as much as my hands. I opened my mouth several times, but the tightness in my chest prevented any words from coming out.

  “She celebrated her fifth birthday a couple of months after I met her. I remember helping my mom put a party together for her shortly after we started kindergarten,” Trey spoke up.

  “This accident was in the spring. If she arrived in your neighborhood that summer, the timeline matches. Someone changed her identity. This article says there were no survivors. It would be an ideal way for anyone to create a new life. It makes me wonder about your parents’ backgrounds,” Jayden murmured, flipping between screens.

  “What do you mean?” I asked in a horrified whisper.

  The flashes in my head – they aren’t dreams, they’re memories. Memories I buried deep within my mind. Why would I do that? How could I forget them?

  “It takes extensive knowledge and power to pull this off. Either one of your parents had the resources to do it, or they worked for the government,” Jayden explained.

  “Why?” I questioned, practically choking for air.

  Jayden kept his face forward as he brought another set of windows into our view. “I believe this is why. It’s very faint. If you look at your scar close enough, you can see the initials J.R.”

  I stared blankly at the screen. My mind was beginning to crumble while the rest of me became alarmingly numb from the absolute shock of what was on the screens. The information in front of me was about a prominent mob family on the East Coast, and the initials on my scar matched their street boss.

  Jayden’s voice cracked as he said, “I don’t doubt you’re tied to that family. They have a well-known history of branding their own. It’s also no secret that they’ve been at war with the mob families in this area for decades.” Jayden paused and shook his head a few times to maintain his cool. “I’m not sure about your parents, or why anyone would feel the need to brand a kid, especially as small as you were at the time,” he finished, in a faint whisper.

  “What’s the name of the kid in the article?” I asked, pointing at the corner of the screen that remained visible. I couldn’t connect myself to the blonde little girl staring back at me.

  “Sophia Riggiatti,” Jayden answered.

  Trey and Bri gasped loudly. Jackson and Shane scratched their heads, completely puzzled by the other two. I pushed their reactions aside. My body felt heavy from being completely desensitized, but I pushed myself to keep going and make the most of hearing what Jayden had to say.

  “Holy fuck-balls!” Jayden exclaimed.

  I scanned the screen but none if it made sense. It’s not like I needed a picture book to tell me the story, but what he was doing looked like something from The Matrix. “What Jayden?”

  His face remained in complete disbelief as he said, “There’s an account linked to Sophia that has millions in to it. You’d be the only one that could access it. Whoever has possession of your original birth certificate is walking around with millions in their pocket.”

  “Why would my parents do this to me? What happened to them?” I asked, confused.

  Jayden grimaced. “I’m still trying to figure that out.”

  Suddenly, a series of boxes popped open in succession. His fingers flew across the keys to break down the barriers. He stopped and ran his hand along his chin. “Hmm …”

  Why can’t I remember their faces, names, or anything? What happened to me? Why is
it so difficult?

  “Dude, you’re fucking killing us. What is all that mumbo jumbo?” Jackson yelled, slapping Jayden across the head.

  “I told you this was going to take a minute, but you don’t seem to get that. It’s going to be hours before I can give you concrete facts. I’m jumping here, but so far I’m on track. So, you tell me, asshole!” Jayden bit back, rubbing the back of his head.

  Jackson looked like he was ready to wind up again. I held up a hand for him to stop. He shook his head in confusion. I rested a hand on Jayden’s shoulder and said, “Take your time. We’ll come back.”

  Jayden glanced at me, clearly sorry. “Are you sure Mia? I’m going as fast as I can, but I’m not used to an audience. I can probably have it ready for you in a few hours. Is that cool?”

  I squeezed his shoulder before taking a step away. “You’ve already done so much. I appreciate it. Give Jackson a call whenever you finish. I’m going to leave the laptop with you. I trust that you won’t take it apart for pieces.”

  I needed to get away from everyone staring at me like I’d lose it at any moment. They continued to keep their eyes on me, with a deep-seated worry behind them.

  Tough room. Can’t a girl on the brink of losing it at least get a laugh?

  I shuffled to the hallway, heading for the front door. The first real emotion my body had experienced in the last twenty minutes surfaced. My anger came in waves as the rest of them stared at me. I raised an eyebrow. They remained frozen.

  “If you don’t move, I’ll hot-wire Jackson’s truck and leave you here!”

  “Uh … I’ll call Jackson when I’m done,” Jayden spoke up as the others quickly fell in step with me on my way out the door.

  Nobody said a word as we got in the truck. Once we were in, Jackson peeked at me in his rearview mirror. His tongue ran anxiously along his lip ring as he stared at me with clear sorrow behind his eyes. I shied away from that look. I had had about enough of it.

  “Take me home.”

  I sat without any need to speak or look at anyone as we drove home. The only thing I focused on was my next point of interest. It was time to pay Chase a visit. As Jackson hit our driveway, I opened my door and jumped out.

  “Mia, are you fucking crazy?” Jackson screamed.

  I got into my car and forced away the panel beneath me. My fingers quickly fidgeted with the wires to start it. Once the engine roared, I backed out at full speed. The boys charged my car, but I whipped around fast enough to get out of the driveway without anyone getting close enough to stop me.

  It was like déjà vu making the drive south. I’d been doing it for the past couple of months, but this time was so different. It felt like the highway to hell – the hell that so many people had gone above and beyond to keep me from finding out about. I stared at my scar in horror.

  How can one spot on my body define me?

  My thoughts were interrupted as my cell started ringing nonstop. It was more than annoying, so I shut it off. They were smart people. I hoped they would have enough common sense to let me talk to Chase on my own. I arrived in his neighborhood rather quick, turned into the alleyway behind the bar and parked my car. His SUV wasn’t in sight. I opened my glove compartment to look for anything that was going to help me get into his building. Just as it was in Jackson’s truck, I only found a couple of paperclips.

  I grabbed my trusty aids before getting out of the car. I crouched down in front of the lock and jammed the L-shaped clips in until it unlocked. As I opened the door, the alarm system went off so I sprinted to enter the code to disarm it. I jogged upstairs and toyed with the lock on Chase’s apartment door before pushing that aside too.

  I gazed around at what used to be my home – it had never seemed like one though. This place carried the same despair I saw in that little girl’s eyes. My eyes. At least it was small, so the search wouldn’t take long. I weaved through the tiny living room and off to the left towards Chase’s bedroom. It seemed like the most appropriate place for him to bury life-altering information.

  I shoved his door open and took in the empty walls before going to his closet. I dropped to the floor and sifted through every box I could find. After a solid ten minutes, I came up with nothing but a shitload of cobwebs and old Playboys. I pushed myself up from the ground and hurried back to the living room. I checked every painting and picture on the walls in the hope that something would drop from behind, but there was nothing. I shuffled over to the bookshelves and started tearing through them. As I hit the last bookshelf, his front door slammed.

  “What are you doing?” Chase screamed.

  “Where is it?” I shouted even louder.

  “I could have you arrested for breaking in!”

  “Go for it. I could have you charged with kidnapping. Where is it?”

  He stared at me, clearly confused. “Are you drunk? What are you talking about?”

  I threw my hands in the air. “Don’t play stupid. Now, for the last time, where is it?”

  “Where is what?”

  “YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE. WHERE IS MY REAL BIRTH CERTIFICATE?”

  His eyes grew wide. The vacant look that normally accompanied them vanished as they became red with rage. He lunged forward and grabbed my arms. I squirmed to free myself. Chase tightened his grip, shoved me down on the couch and hovered over me menacingly. The numbness that had taken over my body started to fade with the growing rage coursing through my veins. I looked him in the eye, warning him to release me before he regretted it.

  “What did you do?”

  I scoffed. “Me? What did you do?”

  Utterly enraged, I kicked him in the balls. He fell to his knees instantly. I jumped up and ran to the kitchen. It was an arsenal of weapons, if I needed them. I positioned myself behind the island as he continued to groan in pain.

  “Either you start giving me some fucking answers or things are going to get real ugly between us,” I threatened, eyeing the knives on the counter next to me.

  It was an empty threat, but I was desperate. My entire life was a lie.

  “How did you find out?” Chase croaked, crawling onto the couch.

  “How could you not tell me?” I shrieked.

  “It wasn’t my secret to share,” he replied, without any care.

  “No, it was just your lie to maintain,” I snapped.

  He rose from the couch, stood in the middle of the living room, and stared at me with the same hate in his eyes that he’d always had for me. I studied him to see if there were any similarities between us. There was nothing. I had blonde hair and brown eyes, while he had brown hair and hazel eyes.

  “If you had any idea what people sacrificed for you, you’d be singing a different tune,” Chase shot back.

  “I asked – repeatedly – for years about my parents. You told me nothing. You shut that part of me off completely, along with every other normal emotion a person should feel as they grow up. You never cared for me. You hated me. Why? What did everyone sacrifice?” I yelled, slamming my hands on the island.

  It felt good to hit something. I’d love a swing at him.

  “If you only knew …”

  “You might as well get it all out on the table because I’m a couple hours away from finding it all out on my own.”

  Chase paced the room before crossing over to the wall and punching his fist through it. The sound of splintering plaster echoed around us. I didn’t move a muscle – I wanted answers. He directed his attention to me as he steadied his heavy breathing.

  His face contorted as he said, “Mia, I never hated you.”

  “Bullshit. You’ve never given me more than a second glance since day one. You’ve always hated me,” I rebutted. He could barely look at me now.

  “No, I never hated you. I resented you. I couldn’t look at you. Most days, I still can’t. I can see her in you. It’s too much,” Chase confessed.

  My head was ready to explode. I gritted my teeth and asked, “What’s too much?”

  Chase
stared at me with a stone-cold hardness and snapped, “It’s too much to look at one person that so many people gave their lives up to keep alive.”

  I tossed my hands up. “Are you talking about my mom? I can’t help who I look like!”

  “It’s that too. It’s also your fucking mouth. It makes me want to smack you across the room every time I hear it. You have his personality, and both their tempers,” Chase fired back.

  “I swear to God I’ll start picking up knives and playing my own version of ‘Pin the Tail on the Jackass’ if you don’t start giving me something I can understand!”

  Chase ran his hands through his hair before taking a seat on the couch. He gestured for me to join him. I shook my head. Staying away from him seemed to be in my best interest.

  “Stubborn as ever, just like her,” he grumbled.

  I glared at him. “Now that we have all the personality quirks squared away, do you want to give me something I can work with?”

  “What do you want to know?”

  I rested my elbows on the counter and asked, “Why can’t I remember a thing before being left here? What happened to me?”

  His eyes fell to the floor. “There was a car accident. There should’ve been no survivors, but your mom escaped with you. She got you to a hospital in time for the doctors to save you. You were in a coma for a few weeks. When you woke up, you didn’t remember anyone or anything. You took a blow to the head in the accident that left you with retrograde amnesia. It played into Lizzie’s hands that you didn’t remember her or anyone else.”

  “Lizzie?”

  “She’s my sister.”

  “I’m guessing that her full name is Elizabeth?”

  “Yes. Why?”

  “Because you were a loud drunk when I was little,” I snapped.

  “I didn’t know you heard me,” he conceded, shocked.

  My hands curled into tight fists as I shot back, “It was hard not to when you’d go on a rampage after a long night at the bar. I usually hid out of sight, but I never forgot hearing that name. After a few years, you stopped saying it and I stopped asking. You led me to believe you’d beat me bloody if I kept pushing for answers.”