The Silent Cry

by Cathy Glass

  ‘Hello,’ she said in a small voice.

  ‘Hello,’ Darrel replied.

  Satisfied that she’d spoken on the phone, she returned the handset to me and I finished talking to Shelley and wished her good luck for Tuesday.

  ‘Thanks,’ she said. ‘I’ll keep in touch.’

  And I was sure she meant it.

  I wasn’t expecting to hear any more from Andy until Laura felt well enough to have friends visit her, when I hoped Andy or Geraldine would remember to tell me. Neither was I expecting Geraldine to go out of her way to give me updates on Laura’s progress, although it would have been nice. When she brought Kim to school on Monday morning she managed a nod in my direction, while Kim smiled and waved at us. Once the children had gone into school Geraldine, as usual, walked swiftly out of the playground ahead of everyone else, while I stayed behind to talk to Fran. I asked her if Laura had telephoned her again and when she said no I explained that at the weekend Laura and Liam had been admitted to a mother-and-baby unit, where Laura was being treated for acute postnatal depression, and that Andy would let us know how she was getting on.

  ‘Oh, the poor dear,’ Fran said, immediately concerned. ‘I’ll visit her as soon as I can.’

  I explained that the unit was some distance away and Andy was going to let us know when Laura felt up to having friends visit.

  ‘OK. I’ll give him a ring later and see how she is,’ Fran said. ‘And if there is anything I can do to help. I’ll ask him for the address so I can send some flowers and a get-well card.’ Which was a really nice thought. ‘I hope she’s better very soon.’

  ‘Yes,’ I agreed. ‘Andy said she was being well looked after.’

  Talking about Laura wasn’t playground gossip as Geraldine had suggested; friends are naturally concerned when someone is unwell and rally together in an emergency. I thought how pleased Laura would be to know her friends were thinking about her and to receive a get-well card and flowers from Fran.

  I had it in my mind that if Geraldine hadn’t told me by the end of the week how Laura was doing then I would summon my courage and ask her. Approaching Geraldine felt a little like going to see the bank manager or headmistress. I wasn’t expecting Andy to telephone me with an update – he’d be far too busy going to work, dashing home and then driving backwards and forwards to visit Laura each evening. However, that Monday afternoon, as I walked down our street to collect Adrian from school and we neared number 53, a woman I hadn’t seen before came out. Early fifties, I guessed, with fair, shoulder-length wavy hair, she was wearing a pretty floral summer dress with a pale blue cardigan. She continued someway ahead of us to the bottom of the road. I didn’t know who she was and I didn’t give it much thought until I saw her again in the playground. Perhaps she was another friend of Laura’s – a parent with a child at the school – although I couldn’t remember seeing her here before. But then when Kim came out of school she rushed to her and greeted her with a big hug.

  ‘That’s Kim’s other gran,’ Adrian told me.

  ‘Oh, I see. Laura’s mother. That’s nice. I expect she’s come to help.’

  ‘Kim told me at playtime she might be coming,’ Adrian said. ‘She was well excited. She likes this gran more than the other one.’

  As I looked over I could see how at ease Kim was with Laura’s mother. They were holding hands now, both of them smiling and chatting as they crossed the playground towards the main gate. There was a relaxed lightness in Kim’s step that I hadn’t seen on her recent walks to and from school when she’d been rushed in and out of the playground by Geraldine. Kim was looking at us as we waited for our turn to go through the gates, proud to be with her gran, then she whispered something to her. She turned and looked at me.

  ‘Hello,’ I said with a smile. ‘I’m Cathy, a friend of Laura’s.’

  ‘Hi, so pleased to meet you,’ she said. ‘Kim’s just told me who you are. You live in the same street, don’t you?’

  ‘Yes, that’s right.’

  ‘I’m Gina, Laura’s mother. Andy mentioned that Kim had spent Saturday with you. Thanks for helping out.’

  ‘You’re welcome. How is Laura?’

  ‘Comfortable, as they say,’ Gina said. ‘I haven’t seen her yet. I’m going this evening. I phoned her earlier. She sounded a bit groggy, but that would be the tablets.’ I nodded. ‘Not sure why no one thought to tell me about all this sooner, but at least I’m here now, and I’ll be staying for as long as necessary. I’ve sent Geraldine home for a rest,’ she added with a smile.

  We paused at the kerb and then all crossed the road together. Paula began agitating to be let out of the stroller. ‘I usually let her walk from here,’ I explained to Gina, stopping the stroller. ‘It takes us a while, so do go on ahead if you want to.’

  ‘It’s OK. There’s no rush. Andy won’t be home until five and I’ve got dinner ready.’ She smiled at Paula as I let her out, and then we continued walking up the street with Kim and Adrian slightly in front.

  ‘You foster, don’t you?’ Gina asked me.

  ‘Yes, although I haven’t got a child at present.’

  ‘Andy mentioned it when he telephoned me on Saturday evening. He said Kim had stayed with you a couple of times and you were a foster carer. It’s a nice thing to do, but it must be difficult to say goodbye.’

  ‘Yes, I’m afraid that’s the downside of fostering,’ I said. ‘Although some of the children keep in touch.’

  ‘Good, must be nice to hear how they are doing.’

  ‘Yes,’ I agreed. ‘It is.’

  I’d taken an immediate liking to Gina. She came across as warm and open, with a bubbly personality that reached out to others, and she was very easy to talk to. I could see the family likeness between her, Laura and Kim, and of course she was a very different character to Geraldine, who had a far more serious demeanour and kept her distance.

  ‘Do you know Geraldine well?’ Gina asked as we walked.

  ‘Not really. I’ve only known her since Laura has been unwell.’

  ‘I have to bite my tongue sometimes,’ Gina confessed. ‘But I was hurt that no one contacted me sooner, when Laura started to slide. I work, but you take time off when there’s a family emergency, don’t you? When I told my boss my daughter and baby grandson were in hospital he said I could take as much time off as I needed. I caught the train down this morning and I’ll stay until Laura is well on the way to recovery. But I feel guilty that I didn’t spot the signs sooner. I should have done, having been through something similar myself. Anyway, she’s in the best place now.’

  ‘Yes, she is,’ I said. ‘They’ll soon have her right, I’m sure. Please give her my love when you see her this evening. And let me know if there is anything I can do.’

  ‘Thanks, Cathy. I’ll tell you tomorrow how she’s getting on.’

  The following morning Gina was already in the playground with Kim when I arrived with Adrian and Paula, and as soon as they saw us they came straight over, both of them smiling.

  ‘I saw my mummy and brother last night,’ Kim told Adrian happily, and they began talking between themselves.

  ‘Laura was so pleased to see us,’ Gina said. ‘It made me cry. She wanted lots and lots of hugs and held my hand like a little child for nearly all the time we were there. She seemed to want me rather than Andy, but I think he understood. She’s obviously got a long way to go yet, but Andy could see an improvement already. She gets confused sometimes and we had to explain why she and Liam were in the unit, as she wanted to come home. She said some other things, too, that showed she wasn’t completely with it. After we’d left, Andy and I explained to Kim that it was part of Mummy’s illness, and that it would go once she got better.’

  I glanced at Kim. ‘Yes, it must be difficult for her to understand.’

  Gina nodded. ‘Unfortunately, Laura’s had to stop breastfeeding, because of the medication getting through to the baby. It’s a pity, but it can’t be helped. She’s on quite a strong dose at
present. And she tires easily – I think that’s from the tablets too – so we didn’t stay too late. We’ll see her again this evening and every evening. But how things have changed since I was in hospital! No long psychiatric wards now. Her room is lovely, bright and airy, and she’s encouraged to mix with the other mums. They have individual therapy, group therapy and occupational therapy, so there’s a lot going on. They’re expected to look after their babies too, although the nurses help when necessary. Andy and I have to go to a team meeting there on Thursday afternoon, so Andy is going to take time off work.’

  ‘Let me know if you want me to collect Kim from school,’ I offered.

  ‘Thanks, Cathy, but Andy has already said he’s going to ask his mother. It’s important she’s still involved.’

  ‘Yes, indeed,’ I said.

  ‘I told Laura you sent your love, and she said to thank you for the chocolates. She’s worrying about Fran. She wants me to tell her that she’s really sorry she hasn’t been in touch and she’ll phone as soon as she can. Do you know who Fran is?’

  I looked around the filling playground and spotted her talking to another mother. ‘Over there,’ I said, pointing.

  ‘Thanks. I’ll catch her now if you don’t mind. Then I’m going into school to see Kim’s teacher. Andy and I think she should know what’s going on in case Kim is upset in school.’

  ‘Yes, good idea.’ I knew from fostering that the school liked to be informed if there was a crisis in the family so they could help support the child in school.

  ‘I’ll see you later then,’ Gina said. And, taking Kim’s hand, she went over to speak to Fran.

  Thereafter Gina made a point of seeing me every day to tell me how Laura was doing, either on the way to school, in the playground or walking home from school. We didn’t just talk about Laura, but lots of other things as well. Gina liked a chat and was very easy to get on with. We had a laugh too. She obviously didn’t know anyone in the area apart from her family and she said she was pleased to have my company. At home that week I continued with my dissertation whenever I had the chance, and made the most of fine days by playing outside with Paula and taking her to the park. It was early July now and like many summers in the UK the weather was changeable, with a beautiful, warm sunny day that seemed like it could go on forever followed by a drop in temperature and thick cloud cover that saw us reaching for our jackets and umbrellas.

  On Thursday afternoon Geraldine collected Kim from school, as Andy and Gina were at the meeting at the unit. She gave me a perfunctory glance as she rushed in and out of the playground. Then on Friday morning Gina was in the playground again and she told me that the meeting the previous day with the mental-healthcare team had been very useful. They’d gone over Laura’s healthcare plan and had answered their questions. Some of the team would continue to support Laura once she was discharged from the unit and went home.

  ‘It was a lot of rushing around for Andy,’ Gina admitted. ‘After the meeting we came back, he gobbled down his dinner, which Geraldine had ready, and then she went with him and Kim to see Laura while I cleared up. He was exhausted when he got back. It’s a pity neither Geraldine nor I drive. It’ll be less of a rush at the weekend when we’re all going.’

  That afternoon when Kim came out of school she was carrying a giant get-well card for her mother, which the class had made and all signed. It was a lovely thought and I could see how proud Kim was. Not only would Laura appreciate it, but it would also give Kim a boost to know she had the best wishes of her class. Although Kim appeared to be coping, she must have been missing her mother and Liam dreadfully. We all walked home together, with Kim and Adrian carrying the card between them.

  Adrian, Paula and I had a relaxing weekend with a trip to the park on Saturday and games at home on Sunday. Sometimes it’s nice to just chill out at weekends, otherwise they can become as hectic as weekdays with shopping, outings and visiting family. The long summer holidays were in three weeks’ time, but I hadn’t booked for us to go away as John wouldn’t be home until the end of the school holidays, so I was planning on days out instead, including a day trip to the coast. On Monday Gina and Kim came out of their house just as we passed on the way to school, so we all walked together. Having spent a large part of the weekend with her mother and Liam, Kim was full of it.

  ‘My brother is growing bigger,’ she told us. ‘And he’s awake more now. I gave him his bottle and I helped one of the other mothers too. Her baby has a trainer cup and Liam will have one when he’s older. Then my daddy helped Mummy cook a meal in the kitchen there and we all had dinner together at the table. When Mummy feels better we can go out.’

  ‘Fantastic,’ I said. ‘You had a great weekend by the sound of it.’ Then to Gina I said, ‘So everything’s going well?’

  ‘Absolutely. I’ve started to see an improvement in Laura.’

  That afternoon as I passed number 53 the front door opened again and Gina came out, but I could see straight away that she was worried and had probably been looking out for me. Her usual smiling face was tense. ‘Are you all right?’ I asked as she opened the gate to join me.

  ‘Not really. I need to ask you something. You might know, as you deal with the social services.’

  ‘I’ll help if I can,’ I said.

  She fell into step beside me. ‘You remember I told you that there was a social worker at that meeting last Thursday?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Well, she telephoned me this afternoon. She says she has to visit us – to do a home visit.’

  I nodded. ‘That would be standard procedure,’ I said.

  ‘That’s what she said, but I didn’t like her tone. She told me Andy had to be there, and when I said I didn’t think that would be possible, as he had to work, she got on her high horse. She said she had to see us all to write her report and that it was important we made the time. She also said she would have to look around the house during her visit. When I asked her why, she said it was part of the assessment, as she needed to be certain it was a safe environment for when Liam returned. I went ballistic. How dare she! Of course it’s a safe environment. Who does she think she is?’

  ‘Gina, it’s standard practice,’ I said. ‘Don’t worry. She just phrased it badly.’

  ‘Do you think so?’ Gina asked, turning to me. ‘It’s worried me. It was like she was suggesting he might not be safe with us. So you think I should let her snoop around the house then?’

  ‘Yes. Show her around and then she’ll be able to write in her report that all is well. The social services have to be ultra-careful where children are concerned. I know it feels like an invasion of your privacy. When I’m fostering the child’s social worker always looks at the child’s bedroom at every visit, and then at my annual review the whole house is checked.’

  ‘You’re good to put up with all that,’ Gina said. ‘I’m sure I wouldn’t. I’ll tell Andy what you said. If he can’t get time off work I’ll ask Geraldine to come round. We’ll present a united front.’

  While I liked Gina, I could see she was feisty – not necessarily what was required when the social worker visited. I hesitated and chose my words carefully. ‘Gina, my advice would be to cooperate fully. Remember, the social worker is just doing her job. Answer her questions, show her around and I’m sure all will be fine.’

  Chapter Fifteen

  Everley

  It is sometimes said that social workers are ‘damned if they do and damned if they don’t’, meaning that they’ll be criticized whatever course of action they take. I knew that the social worker was following procedure to ensure that Liam and Kim were safe at home. I also knew that it was in everyone’s interest to cooperate. So often when the social services are involved a ‘them and us’ situation develops, with the family on one side, feeling threatened and going on the defensive, and the social worker, who in this instance may not have been sufficiently diplomatic, on the other. I hoped that once Gina had calmed down she would feel less hostile.

/>   On Tuesday morning as we all walked to school together Gina told me that Andy had managed to book the following afternoon off work so he could be present when the social worker visited at one o’clock. Gina said they’d also asked Geraldine to be present. ‘She’s helped a lot,’ Gina said. ‘So it’s important she’s there. We want the social worker to see that we’re all working together.’ Which was a sensible approach. I also thought that having Andy and Geraldine present, who were more reserved in temperament, would be a calming influence on Gina, so there would be less chance of her going ‘ballistic’, as she’d put it, at the social worker as she had done on the telephone. She was still quite indignant that the visit had to happen at all.

  On Wednesday morning as we walked to school I wished Gina luck and told her again not to worry, that it was procedure and everything would be fine. That afternoon I had one eye on the clock as I made lunch for Paula and me and one o’clock approached – the time the social worker was due to arrive at number 53. Then I spent a fair bit of the afternoon wondering how the visit was going in between doing some housework and playing with Paula. I was expecting to see Gina in the playground that afternoon, but it was Andy who strode in to collect Kim. Dressed in a suit, with his tie loosened, he saw me and came straight over.

  ‘So you’re meeting Kim today,’ I said with a smile. ‘She will be pleased.’ I knew how delighted children were when fathers who were usually at work suddenly came to meet them.

  ‘Yes,’ he said absently, frowning. ‘It’ll give Mum and Gina a chance to recover. We had the social worker visit this afternoon. She’s only just left.’

  ‘How did it go?’ I asked.

  He rubbed his forehead. ‘Not too good, to be honest. It feels as though we’re being investigated – some of the questions she asked. Mum was in tears at one point.’