by Tri Amutia
I narrowed my eyes. "What is it to you? You have another woman to warm your bed now."
His eyes turned darker and he clenched his fists. "She is NOTHING!" He growled. "I don't care about her. What you saw that night was she tried to seduce me. I learned that Helena is her cousin, which was why she was there. She didn't expect to see me there, of course, but she mostly didn't expect you are the one who edited Helena's book."
He paused while I stared at him. Now I know why Helena asked Joshua if she ever met him before. Helena must have seen Joshua's picture somewhere from Natalia's possessions.
I shuddered.
"When you walked out from the hall, I tried to look for you. I searched to all the places I could find, but I still couldn't find you. I came home to our apartment, hoping you were already home. I felt relieved when I saw your truck, but then I found the rings I gave to you on the living room table and I instantly knew you were not there anymore. I called your parents, but they didn't know where you are. I made a decision, then. I will search for you, even if I had to go around the world."
He paused again and closed his eyes briefly, trying to control his breathing. I still sat there and didn't move. Did he mean what he just said?
He opened his eyes again and scooted closer to me, even though there still enough spaces between us.
I didn't move.
I was just looking at him.
Trying to find the honesty.
"I rode to Long Beach that night," He said slowly.
I blinked several times. "You what?" I asked in disbelief.
"I rode to Long Beach that night. I need to see it for myself if you were really not there. Of course, you weren't there and then your father suggested to ask your mother. I rode to the airport, going to Phoenix and I didn't find you there either. Your mother suggested me to call Stella or Melinda. They probably knew where you are."
I took several deep breaths.
Joshua scooted closer again, but I still didn't move. "Melinda said she didn't know where you are. The last time you called her when you told her about our engagement and then...I called Stella."
I tensed.
"Truthfully, Stella is my last hope. If she didn't know where you are...I know I've lost you."
I closed my eyes and hung my head in my hands. I could feel Joshua moved closer again and I could feel he already sat next to me, but he still didn't touch me. "She said she didn't know where you are and I gave up. I thought I've lost you, but you mother told me to go to New York and made sure for myself. I flew here from Phoenix and I rent a car. And now...I'm here," His voice was faltered in the end.
Yes, he is here...and what will happened next?"
"Abby," He said slowly. "If only you were there earlier, you will see how I tried to escape from her. I was stood still because I thought if she could get what she wanted, then she could leave me alone."
I turned to him sharply. "What is that suppose to mean?"
He smiled weakly. "She wants to kiss me."
WHAT?
My eyes widened and my anger controlled my body. I stood immediately from the couch and took several steps backward. "She wanted to kiss you and you let her?" I felt sick with myself. "That's enough, Joshua. I. Don't Want. To. Hear. It. Anymore. Get out. Out!"
"No, I won't. I'm not finish!"
"Yes, you are. Now, OUT!"
"This is not your place!"
I narrowed my eyes. "All right. Then, I will leave now." I walked hastily because of my sore leg, ignoring the pain and walked to Stella's room to grab my bag.
Of course, he could follow me easily. He grabbed my arm and looked at me deeply. "I won't let you walk away from me again, Abby. Wherever you go, I will be right there."
I chuckled darkly. "Save those words for someone who deserved it, Walsh!" I wriggled from his grasp, but he didn't let me go.
"I'm not finish!"
I froze and looked at him. He clenched his jaw and then took several deep breaths to calm himself. "Do you think I will let her do that to me, Abby? Of course not. She told me she loved me, but I told her what she felt wasn't love. She didn't know how I felt, she didn't feel what I felt and that is not love. I told her once again that I will never love her and she better stop trying or I will tell her father about what she did to both of us."
I took a deep breath and my shoulder slumped. I felt tired immediately.
"Please, leave me alone, Joshua. I need time to think."
He nodded slowly and released my arm. "I understand that. But, please, can I stay here for while? I miss you. I will give you a ride to Seattle and then I won't push you to stay in...our place."
I nodded back. "Deal." And then I winced when I felt the pain on my leg. I wobbled on my feet and almost collapsed if only Joshua didn't catch me.
He furrowed his eyebrows and looked over at my leg. There was a faint bruise and he rubbed the bruise lightly. His face softened and he looked at me. "What happened, Abby?"
I gulped when I remembered last night.
"I fell," I lied menacingly
He narrowed his eyes. "I'm a doctor, Abby. I could tell which one is from falling or being hit. I ask you once again. What happened, Abby?"
I sighed. "I...uh...almost attacked last night."
His eyes turned darker again. "Are you hurt?" He asked me sternly.
I shook my head slowly. "No. Kevin helped me." I was so lucky that night. I didn't know what happened if Kevin wasn't there.
His eyebrows shot up. "Kevin? Kevin Morgan?"
I nodded. "Yes."
Joshua took several deep breaths and turned to look at my bruise. "I must thank him for helping you." And then he rubbed my bruise again and pulled out his phone from his pocket. He flipped the phone open and seemed to search for a number. He pressed dial button and put the phone to his ear while his eyes still staring at my bruise.
"Stella, I need your help."
I raised my eyebrows.
Stella?
"If you were near a drug store, please look for a medicine for me..." And then he mentioned a name that I didn't recognized and I wasn't sure if Stella could understand what he was saying.
"All right. Thank you, Stella." He flipped his phone closed and he looked at me. "I already asked Stella to buy something for your bruise. Take your medicine three times a day after you had your meal, all right?"
I blinked several times. The way he acted like a doctor made my heart fluttered. I smiled unconsciously and couldn't help myself to tease him. "Yes, Dr. Walsh."
He smirked and sobered immediately. He leaned to me slowly and kissed my forehead softly. "I'm sorry, Abby. I'm sorry for everything. You're the only one that I love. Please, believe me."
I didn't say anything.
He sighed and helped me to stand on my feet. He walked me back to the couch and we sat together. He looked at me deeply. "Can I hug you?" He asked me in low voice.
Huh?
I gaped at him. But, looking to his tired eyes broke down all my defenses. I nodded slowly and he snuggled to me. He wrapped his arms to my waist and leaned his head in the crook of my neck.
He sighed contently. "I miss you, Abby. I miss you so much. Those two days were hell for me," He mumbled.
I instantly knew he will fall asleep soon.
"Abby?" He asked again, his voice faltered.
"Yes?"
"Do you still want to marry me?"
I smiled grimly. "Get some sleep, Joshua. You're tired."
I felt he nodded and seconds later I could hear his steady breathing. He must be so tired these two days trying to look for me. I stroked his hair gently, feeling the softness between my fingertips. And then I heard the front door opened and Stella got in with a medicine bag in her hand. She smiled and sat next to me. She titled her head and looked over to Joshua who fell asleep in my embrace.
"How is he?" Stella asked in low voice.
I smiled and leaned my head to Joshua's head. "He feels very tired."
"You both are."
Stella smiled grimly. "Did he tell you what happened that night?"
I nodded. "Yeah, I guess so, but I still need time to accept everything."
My best friend nodded. "I know that, Abby. I think you already pass the test."
The test...I almost forgot.
Stella said we could find the truth about our partner and now I realized what she meant. It's not that I find him cheating on me; instead I find him looking for me these two days. Learned how much he worried about me and his determination to find me. I learned how much he loved me.
"Stella?"
"Hmmm?"
I looked over to her. "I think I know what you meant about the test."
She smiled coyly. "And what is that?"
"I learned how much he loved me."
Stella chuckled. "That's good. And now you need to forgive him. Can you do that?"
I smiled grimly and kissed Joshua's hair. "I'll try."
She nodded cautiously. "You will consider your decision to move to England, right?"
I took a deep breath. "I'll think about that."
Stella laughed lightly and gave me the medicine bag. "Just follow the doctor's order, will you?"
I rolled my eyes while she giggled.
~O~
I let Joshua slept on the couch while I had my shower, changed my clothes and made some breakfast...well, actually order some breakfast. My leg felt so much better after I took the medicine. The front door of Stella's apartment was knocked in nearly lunch time. Stella was still busy in her studio and I opened the door to find Kevin and...Kimberly.
I raised my eyebrows. Wow, this is truly a surprise.
"Hi, Abby," The blond girl greeted me sheepishly.
I smiled slightly. "Hi, Kevin, Kimberly. Please, come in." I opened the door wider and gestured them to come inside.
Their eyebrows were shot up when they saw Joshua sleeping on the couch. I mentally slapped myself. I forgot he was there.
"Uh...he just arrived this morning and he looked so tired. So, we let him sleep for a while," I explained to them. And speaking of Stella, I must tell her she got visitors. "Sorry, but you can wait in the dining room. I'll tell Stella you're both here."
Kevin and Kimberly nodded while I walked to Stella's studio. I knocked on the door and popped my head to a half-open door. "Hey, sorry to disturb you, but Kevin and Kimberly are here."
Stella raised her head and her eyebrows shot up. "Kevin and Kimberly?"
I shrugged.
She rolled her eyes. "That's unexpected. Can you give them a company while I finished this?"
I grimaced. Kevin was fine, but I didn't know about Kimberly. The last time we met was not a pleasant memory for me.
Stella sensed my hesitation and smiled. "She won't do anything stupid, Abby. Besides this is my place. I can kick her from my room in an instant."
I giggled. "All right." I walked back to the dining room to find them both already sitting on the chairs. I smiled. "Stella said she'll be here soon."
Kevin smiled back. "It's all right. Actually we come here to see you."
I blinked several times. "To see me?"
Kevin laughed lightly. "Yes. I just want to make sure you're fine after what happened last night."
I swallowed hard. I still didn't forget that and shivered slightly. "Uh...I'm fine. Thank you very much. My leg is a little bit sore, but Joshua already gave me a medicine. I'll be fine."
Kevin nodded and cleared his throat. "Well, I just remember there's a big game in the channel. Do you mind if I watch TV in the living room?"
I grimaced. "Not so loud, please. Joshua needs his sleep."
He grinned and ruffled my hair. "Don't worry." He kissed Kimberly briefly before walked out from the dining room.
I stood there awkwardly with Kimberly sitting on the chair. I knew Kevin did this on purpose, but I couldn't blame him.
"So...Abby...how are you?" Kimberly asked me.
I crossed my arms in my chest. "I'm good. Thank you for asking."
Silence.
"Uh...Kevin told me what happened last night."
I chuckled. "Thanks to Kevin to tell you, I guess. I owe him so much, though."
Kimberly chuckled too. "I know that. I've been on your position once."
I blinked. "Excuse me?"
She smiled grimly and drew random patterns on the dining room table. "I know how you feel. You are so lucky; Kevin was there at the right time. As for me..." She took a deep breath. "I was not that lucky."
I shivered. I never knew about this story before. "I...I don't know what to say. Did you tell anyone about this?"
Kimberly chuckled. "Just my parents and...Kevin, of course. He was the one who helped me. He was there when I needed help and when I can't trust a man; he tried so hard to make me trust him."
I frowned and took a deep breath. "I'm...sorry..." That was the best I could say right now.
She laughed lightly. "It's all right. I can accept that. That's why I'm so defensive. I'm afraid of people to hurt me and I'm kind of jealous of you."
I went rigid.
Kimberly smiled and looked at me. "I know how much Joshua loves you. I envy you, Abby. You had someone who loves you so much and wants to do everything for you. As for myself..." She sighed and shook her head. "I'm sorry about what I said the last time we met. Joshua was very angry with me. I don't think he wants to see me again after that lunch."
I took several deep breaths. "So, you're being nice with me because what happened last night?" I asked flatly.
Kimberly gaped at me. "No, Abby-"
"I don't need your pity, Kimberly." I could feel the anger in my body again when I remembered her friendship with that strawberry blond. "I know about you and Natalia. I bet you'll tell her about happened to me last night and you both will laugh behind my back. Laugh all you like. I owe Kevin, not you," I said sternly.
She shook her head frantically. "Abby, you don't understand-"
"Which part that I don't understand, Miles? We will never get along well. Don't waste your time on me. Feel free to be jealous with me, that's your problem. I never stick my nose to other people's problems, so you better do the same."
Kimberly blinked several times and her shoulders slumped. "I guess I deserve it," She mumbled.
I scoffed. "You can't just expect me to come to you with open arms. It's not that easy."
She nodded sadly and then Kevin appeared in the dining room with...Joshua. My heart sped up when I saw him. He narrowed his eyes when he saw Kimberly and quickly took his place next to me.
"It's so good to see you here, Kimberly," Joshua said in flat voice.
Kimberly smiled grimly and the atmosphere suddenly turned awkward. Stella appeared in the room just in the right time and asked us to have lunch together. Kevin and Kimberly politely declined Stella's offer and excused themselves to go home. Stella just raised her eyebrows when both of them shut the front door closed. She turned to me. "Wow, Abby. What did you do to Kimberly?"
I shrugged. "Just gave her some pointers. Bennett’s style," I smirked.
Stella giggled while Joshua looked at me in amusement.
The three of us had lunch at a cafe two blocks from Stella's apartment. After lunch, Stella insisted Joshua to buy some clothes to change. I learned that he didn't bring anything during his search for me. We stopped at a store and Joshua purchased a T-shirt and some outfits that I didn't want to know. I didn't speak much with him and honestly our relationship was back at the beginning. The time when we were just know each other again. I sighed. I already fell in love with him and trusted him, but he ruined it. It will need lots of time for us to re-build our relationship again and I didn't know if I could do that.
We said goodbye to Stella in the afternoon and I thanked her for allowing me stay in her place. I also apologized for showing in front of her door without notice.
"Never mind about that, Abby. Just be careful on your way back to Seattle," Stella winked a
t me.
I laughed lightly and hugged her. "Thank you for everything, Stella. I hope I could visit you again someday."
She patted my back and released my hug. She peeked to Joshua's direction from my shoulder and then she looked at me. "Don't be so hard to him. He's miserable too. More than you know."
I smiled grimly. "Bye, Stella. Say hi to Evan for me."
She chuckled. "Bye, Abby. I'll see you soon."
We rode to the airport with the car that Joshua rent. I was sure the journey will take more than six hours and I wasn't sure if Joshua could make it with only sleep for few hours. But, I remembered he told me about the difference from the quality sleep and the quantity sleep when we had our vacation in Florida. I swallowed hard. Those were sweet memories before all of these things happened. Would we ever go back to those moments?
I looked over the window and pondered what my choices are. I needed to re-build my trust with him. I still love him, but I didn't think I could commit to a marriage yet. Especially from what happened after that night. Should I go back to my old apartment and began our relationship for the beginning?
"What are you thinking about?"
Joshua's voice startled me and I looked at him. He already changed his clothes and he looked fresh enough; better than the first time I saw him on Stella's apartment. He stared at the road, but I knew he waited for my answer. I sighed and leaned my head to the seat.
"I'm thinking about what I will do when I'm back to Seattle," I answered him.
"What will you do when you back to Seattle?" He asked me slowly.
I took deep breaths. "I want to have time for myself." From the corner of my eyes, I could see he tensed.
"I don't understand, Abby."
I stared blankly at the road. I knew I needed time to re-think everything and there was only one way to do that.
"I want to move from our apartment."
Chapter 29
The Trust and The Truth
He clutched the steering wheel tighter and suddenly he pulled over from the busy road. He turned off the engine and looked at me. "Are you saying you want to move?"