Men in Control: Special pack: The Smith Brothers Series

by Brenda Ford

  “Why are you asking me about that?” I reply wearily. “That isn’t exactly business related.”

  “Because we all saw you out there talking to her and it looked like it was heated. I just wanted to check in to see if you were okay, because you guys had a thing way back when, didn’t you?”

  His eyebrows wiggle as he pretends to be a kind and caring friend who actually gives a shit about me and isn’t just seeking out gossip. But I’m not about to be fooled by him. Not at all. He has absolutely nothing to offer me now. No friendship, no fun, no caring ear… this is all just bullshit.

  “Court, I don’t want to talk about my private life out of work, thank you very much.”

  “She had a kid with her, didn’t she?” he continues as if he hasn’t heard me. “A young child.”

  “Court, I really have too much to do here, so can you get to the point please?”

  I don’t want to get in to this with him, or anyone, but if he isn’t going to go then so be it. I will deal with him, shut him down, then work out what the fuck I am going to do about this. Because I can’t just do nothing. Burying my head in the sand and ignoring the problem for five years is how I managed to miss out on that girl’s life.

  “Well, I’m just wondering if there is something sordid going on here? Does Zoe have a secret baby? Wasn’t she screwing around with Andy which was why she had to leave? He paid her to go so that his wife wouldn’t find out the truth? Not that it matters. I heard that she’s going to leave him anyway.”

  “I think you hear too much, Court. And never anything from the horse’s mouth. Zoe wasn’t screwing around with Andy. That isn’t his child. This isn’t some sordid black mail thing.”

  “Well, it has to be something, doesn’t it?” I can see the cogs ticking in his brain. He’s trying to fill in the gaps himself. It doesn’t matter what he does or doesn’t get from me, because he will run back to Hannah with something. The truth doesn’t matter to them as long as they get through the work day having done as little work as possible. I really need to get the pair of them fired before I lose my damn mind.

  “It isn’t anything. Zoe was just walking passed and I bumped in to her.”

  “Ooh, does she want to come back here? Is life on the streets not treating her right?”

  “I don’t think she was living on the streets. She just wasn’t living here, and no. She doesn’t want to come back here. She doesn’t want anything from anyone here. She was just walking by.”

  “Shame.” Court shrugs. “The kid is cute and if her father does work here, then she deserves to know him.”

  Shit, Court is right. I might not like him much, but that statement is the damn truth. That poor little girl doesn’t deserve me to be in a rage at her. She isn’t the one who lied to me. She didn’t aske to be dragged in to this damn mess. What I really need to do is call up Zoe and sort this out. I can as well, I have her number. I can make the first step to making this right if I really want to. And actually, I do want to. I need to.

  “Can you go please?” I say to Court, just needing to be alone. “I have to make some calls.”

  “Yeah, I bet you do.” He rolls his eyes. “Worst kept secret, honestly. But if you aren’t going to be honest then fine. I will just get out of here and leave you to whatever it is that you want to do.”

  Urgh, I don’t care, let him do whatever. He can go out there and say whatever he wants to Hannah and the rest of them. I have some making up to do. I have something that is so much more important to deal with.

  Once he’s gone, I close my office door and lock it behind me, before I pick up the phone. My heart pounds as I do, but this is something that I need to. This proves that I am grown up.

  “Wesley?” Zoe sounds understandably shocked as she answers. “What’s going on?”

  “Er… shit, I just want to say that I’m sorry for the way I acted then. I freaked out. You just showing up out of the blue like that… well, it’s a bit much. Because I have spent the last few years believing that things were different. I assumed that you walked out on me and the job because you were found out.”

  “You still believe Court and Hannah that I played all of those games?”

  The hurt in her voice brings out a deep pain within me. One that I didn’t even know I was clinging on to.

  “Erm, well I guess that it was easier to believe that than to admit that I was a dick.”

  She laughs a sweet musical sound which causes me to yearn for her in a way that I haven’t done in a very long time. I lean against the phone hand set and imagine the smile that must be playing on her lips right now.

  “Well, you were… but I think that I was as well. It all just got very messy, didn’t it? And then when my grandma died, I just couldn’t be here. It was too much for me. Everything that was going on at work just added to it and I snapped. I freaked out and I left for New York because it seemed like the best thing to do.”

  “New York, huh?” I don’t know if I can imagine her in the big apple. “Wow, that must have been something.”

  “It was. And then once I was there it was easy to forget that life was even a thing here.”

  I feel a bit chocked up as she says this. I have been here the whole time, living through this, and she just forgot about me. I suppose I can’t blame her because I would want to forget me too… but knowing that I can be pushed to one side without even a second thought is a bitter pill to swallow. But swallow it I must if I want to make this about that little girl and not about me and Zoe. We had our chance and blew it. This isn’t a second one.

  “I want to take you up on your offer of meeting. To discuss things,” I say thickly. “I’m sure that we have a lot to get through and I think that a calm and neutral environment would be the best thing.”

  “Right, you do.” She sounds shocked. “I think that’s good. Erm, what I will do is get a babysitter tonight and we can meet up then. Maybe have some dinner or something? Make it less…”

  Tense, stressful, awkward? I don’t know what word she means but they all fit in perfectly. It will be all of those things, but it may well also be exactly what we need. If this girl does belong to me, then I have already missed out on so much, but I can’t be blamed for that because I didn’t know. Now, I do, and I want to make up for it. I don’t know what I’ll do, for someone with so many children in the family, I don’t know much about them, but I will learn. I will work. I will prove to Zoe that I am worthwhile. I have to.

  Even if she is in New York and I’m here. Other people make it work, and I will too.

  “Yes, sounds good,” I reply a little too formally. “I will make a reservation for us and message you the details.”

  As I say this, I feels like a date, but of course that isn’t what it is. There won’t be any kissing or funny business and she will have to be back at a reasonable time for the babysitter. It’s something totally different. New for the pair of us. A territory that we’re going to have to get used to, to make this work.

  “Great okay. Well, I have to get back to Maddie because I’m pushing her on the swing at the park, but I will see you later on. Thank you for calling me, Wesley. This means a lot. I guess I will see you tonight.”

  Maddie. That’s her name. The name of the girl who could be mine. That’s tangible, something to have for now, to get me through the rest of the day until we share dinner tonight and we sort things out. At least, I hope we will. Now that I am over my little temper tantrum, I know that I will give it all I have to make it right.

  “Thank you for reaching out to me, Zoe. I know that must have taken a lot. Please know I appreciate it.”

  As we say our goodbyes with promises to meet up later on, I feel more vulnerable and raw than ever before. Like I’m cut in half and anything could happen to me. I’m handing myself over to Zoe with no knowledge of what she’s going to do… but as scary as it is, I know that it’s right, and that will keep me going.

  Chapter 24 - Zoe

  I tap my foot anxiously on the
floor, my fingers trembling and shaking as I keep darting my eyes towards the door. It isn’t even time for Wesley to turn up yet, but I’m desperate for him to just arrive already. I’m an absolute mess and we haven’t even laid eyes on one another yet. I just don’t know how this is going to go and that is so hard for me to deal with. Even if he sounded reasonable enough on the phone, that doesn’t mean it will go that way now. He could have spent the last few hours deciding exactly how he is going to take me down.

  “Come on,” I mutter nervously to myself. “Come on, will you? Come on already?”

  But of course, there isn’t anything that I can do to speed him up, to make him arrive just because I need him to. Like he said when he was yelling at me, I was the one who walked away, so the ball is in his court now. I will just have to be patient and wait until he is ready to come to me. Even if it kills me.

  I check my cell phone for what feels like the hundredth time. One to see if there is any message from the babysitter, letting me know if there is any drama with Maddie, and also to see if Wesley has been in touch. I keep expecting him to call the whole thing off and say that he doesn’t want to speak to me ever again.

  He will come, I try my hardest to convince myself. He will come because of Maddie. He isn’t a bad person.

  I don’t know who was the bad person back then really, I think that we both might have been at fault. Of course he shouldn’t have believed Hannah over me, but I don’t think that I fought enough either. If I had just tried, then perhaps we wouldn’t be in this whole mess now. Maybe we could have sorted it out.

  Oh, who the hell knows. The past can’t be changed. All we can do is work towards the future.

  The door swings open and I practically leap out of my seat, but yet again it’s someone else. I can’t stand this, the anticipation is too much, it’s too intense, I need a moment to myself. So, I head straight for the bathroom to try and calm myself down. Straight in to the much too bright lights which only serve to make me look even more wild eyed and crazy. Even in my most sensible looking trousers and flowy top, I look crazed. If I were Wesley, and I walked in to see me, then I would quickly spin around and turn back again.

  I try and smooth down my hair, which has managed to look curlier than before, and to clean up my make up, but I can’t seem to do anything to make myself look like a normal, capable human being.

  “You are just going to have to go out there and face him,” I tell myself seriously. “There is no other option.”

  “You go get him!” an older lady comes flying out of one of the cubicles which is very embarrassing. I thought that I was alone here. A heat immediately creeps up through my cheeks. “Or break up with him. Whatever is going on here. You are a kick ass woman who can do whatever it is that you want to do.”

  “Er, it isn’t exactly like that,” I tell her honestly. “It’s a bit more complicated.”

  “Oh, honey. The best love stories in the world are the most complicated ones.”

  I can’t help but laugh at her remarks, even though I’m not sure that’s what she’d be saying if she knew about my story. I’m pretty sure she would be telling Wesley to head for the hills. Still, it feels much better to laugh at the situation rather than to sit there getting all kinds of worked up. I would much rather be smiling.

  “There, now you look like you can handle whatever is going on.” She grins at me.

  “Thank you. I will… go and sort out my complicated situation.”

  A surge of confidence rushes through me as I head towards the bathroom exit, but it ebbs away immediately once more as soon as I lay my eyes on him. Wesley Smith, standing in the door way of the restaurant with one of his trade mark suits on, making my heart flutter and race like crazy. I can’t help but admire how good he looks now. He is absolutely heart stoppingly beautiful. It’s hard for me to keep my head on straight around him.

  But I’m not here to lose my head around damn Wesley Smith. I’m here for Maddie’s sake.

  When he spots me, Wesley gives me a relaxed smile and a wave. On the one hand, that’s good because he doesn’t look like someone who has come here to yell at me. But on the other, I can’t understand why all of this isn’t freaking him out too. He’s the one who has much more to process than me.

  I feel like I’m floating on air as I walk back to the table, like my feet aren’t touching the ground, but not in a good way. More like I’m in the middle of a nightmare and I can’t claw my way out of it. If my heart keeps thundering in my throat like this, then I’m not going to be able to speak on my daughter’s behalf.

  “Hey.” He holds out his hand to me in a strangely formal way. I take it and shake it, but I can’t quite reply in the way that I would like to. A strangled sound comes out instead of words. “Good to see you.”

  We both sit and I find myself nodding like I have lost all control of my head. Maybe I have. I need to say something, anything, so I don’t freak him out because we’re supposed to be acting like adults.

  “So, how er… how has work been?” A bit bland, not the ideal question, but it will do.

  “Work is work.” He shrugs. “Andy is still the same, unable to really control anyone. So, I have to do most of that now. Not that I mind. It means that I can mostly keep the staff working as I want them too.”

  “Hannah and Court too?” I ask without thinking. “Are they still there? I mean, did you ever manage to…”

  “I would love to get rid of them, but it isn’t quite as simple as that unfortunately.”

  I nod as if I understand, but I don’t really. If it was up to me and I had taken the job, then I would have found a way. But I didn’t, and Wesley clearly has a different way of doing things to me.

  “Well, I’m glad that it all seems to be going well for you. That’s good news.”

  “And how have things been in New York? Have you enjoyed living there?”

  “It’s been good for me,” I reply honestly. “When Grandma died, and with everything that happened here, I needed a change of scenery. My best friend is there. She moved right after high school, which is why I went there to see her. She’s always going on about how it transformed her, and I needed some of that for myself.”

  “And did it?” He gives me a strange look. “Do you think that it has changed you?”

  “Well, not like Jessica. It’s really changed her.” I giggle. “She hangs out with celebrities now. That’s how much her life has transformed. So, it definitely didn’t do that for me. But… I do feel stronger.”

  “You look it,” he confirms, surprising me. “I can tell that it’s made you stronger. You look it. More confident. Although I suppose that could be being a mother as much as it is the city.”

  And here we are. The topic that we have come for. To be honest, I thought that we would have a bit more small talk to ease us in first, so this has hit me hard. It’s a bit overwhelming. But I need to do it, despite the fact that any speech I had planned has gone flying out the window… but just as I suck in a deep breath and I prepare myself to talk, the waiter comes over to take our order. A blessing and a curse all at once.

  I order food that I know I probably won’t eat, since all of this has made me lose my appetite, and I watch Wesley do the same thing. It’s strange to think that this is the closest we have ever had to a real date. When we were together, it was never like this. We never really had a dating phase, we more slipped in to the comfortable couple phase. I don’t know if that just proves we were never meant to be, or the complete opposite.

  Once the waiter goes, Wesley says nothing. He is still waiting for me to speak. So, I start with the biggest bomb shell. “I am sure you have already worked this out, but just for clarification, Maddie is yours.”

  “She is?” He clutches his chest. Even if he has worked this out, it’s still shocked him. “Oh my God.”

  “I’m sorry. I know that I should have told you this earlier, but I was so hurt. The fact that you would believe I’d make up a pregnancy was too much for me. Just
for a promotion as well. It showed me that you didn’t know me at all and made me feel like I didn’t know you either. And… well, since we always seemed to hate one another before we started fooling around, I just took the view that there was nothing we could do. I walked away.”

  “You did.” He nods slowly. “You did walk away, and you broke my heart when you did.”

  “I’m sorry.” Fuck, I didn’t know that I was going to feel this bad. “But my heart was broken too.”

  “Because of me,” he accepts. “Because I listened to Hannah and Court. I listened to them and fell in to their little trap. Their games. They were playing us off against one another, and I was dumb enough to believe it.”

  “That’s what I still don’t get… what was their angle? Like, who did they want to be manager?”

  “Who the fuck knows?” he laughs. “I don’t think they even knew. I don’t really think that it was about me and you. They just like to create drama in the office. They still do it now.”

  It’s a real shame to think that our lives were torn apart by people who didn’t even give a shit about us. But we can’t put all the blame on them, however much we want to, we played our part as well.

  “So, where do we go from here?” I ask Wesley. “I know that this is a lot to put on you, but we came back because Maddie wants to meet you. She wants to know who her father is and where she came from. I didn’t come to put the pressure on because I know that you might not want to, but…”

  “I do,” he reassures me sharply. “Oh, I do. I feel like I have already missed out on so much and this is my chance to make up for that lost time. If you and Maddie are willing to let me…then I would love to…”

  Wow. Now that isn’t what I was expecting him to say, but this is a good sign. It’s all going smoothly; I just hope that it continues to go this smoothly and we can all come to some sort of happy ending. One that suits us all… whatever that may be.