Until I Fall

by Claudia Burgoa

  Once we settled, I finally walk outside rolling our cooler filled with snacks and drinks. I’m tired after this long vacation. “Everything okay?”

  Scarlett rolls her eyes setting her phone down. “My father thinks a month away is not taking my job seriously.”

  “You work as hard as he does,” Brynn protests.

  “Your farm hands report daily, you’re up at the freaking-crack-of-dawn checking that everything is functioning properly.” I give her a wine cooler. “Have they mentioned anything about . . . you know?”

  “Nope, we have three new horses.” She sips from the bottle, placing it on the table and taking the deck of cards. “They haven’t reported any unusual activity or . . . if your boyfriend blew my house up, he rebuilt it the same day.”

  “You want us to go to the farm with you?” Brynn suggest,s I nod in agreement. We have to sign the lease contract and start construction on our new offices, but Scarlett comes first.

  “Nah.” Another text comes, she reads it, and her face turns a crimson red. “Fuck him,” Scarlett declares. “Two more days with you and then I’ll fly in a private jet home.”

  “By all means, I’ll pay for your ticket.” I laugh knowing she’s joking about the private jet. I will pay for her ticket, though—first class.

  Then, I remember Michael’s letter. “What if you move up here?”

  “To do what exactly?”

  “Open your own practice.” Brynn smiles at me, satisfied with my offer. More than satisfied. “We can be roommates again.”

  “Are we looking for a new house?” Brynn asks. We’d both like to live close to where we work, the commute to Seattle is draining.

  “Yeah, our lease expires in a couple of months.” Then I look at Scarlett reinforcing what Brynn said, “We can live together again.”

  “I don’t know,” Scarlett says, stopping our planning. “Dad needs me.”

  “No. He has plenty of people working for him. You need to step back and think about your future.” Brynn, the voice of reason takes the lead. “What you really want to do in life? She’s moving on, you can move on.”

  Damn. If I had the letter with me, I could’ve shown her that Michael wants her out of the house.

  “Mike didn’t like you living there,” I whisper waiting for the backlash.

  “Yeah, I read the letter.” She bites her lip. “When I went upstairs for my things. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry but . . . I was scared. Your boyfriend isn’t friendly, what if he was going to kill us?”

  Her shoulders slump, her eye concentrate on the cooler she holds. “I wanted to know what his last wishes were.” Reaching out to her, I squeeze her hand. She lifts her gaze smiling at me. “Can you please not name your children Michael? I want that name for mine.”

  “It’s yours, as long as you move to Seattle.”

  “I’ll have to think about it.” She looks around.

  Scarlett wiggles her eyebrows. “Have you heard anything from your man?”

  I check my phone. Still no messages from him. “He’s on a mission.”

  “It’s been almost a month, is he okay?” Brynn had to say it out loud.

  Four weeks and three days since the last time I saw him. I shrug, giving them an I don’t know, but the wait is killing me. “We can drive around town.” I brush away the uncertainty and fear. “I’d love to visit the tattoo parlor. We can contact Kev or Austin.”

  “Yes. Part of scouting the area, searching for a house.” Brynn agrees her dark eyes bright and I’m suspicious about this sudden burst of energy.

  Mason Bradley invited Brynn and me to his home for lunch. We brought Scarlett along because the three amigas can’t just leave one behind—not again. He said it was his turn to be in charge of the motley crew. We didn’t understand until nine children, none older than eight, sat at the table eating their chicken nuggets, carrots, and fruit. They chatted and exchanged food as some liked carrots more than nuggets and others preferred not to eat bananas. Charming, polite and noisy, all of them finished and asked if they could go out and play.

  “Are all of them yours?” Scarlett panics.

  Ainsley, his wife, laughs at her question. “No. Only Grace and Seth. Nathan, our baby, is asleep.” She shows us her phone, on the screen is the video of a crib and a sleeping baby. “He’s at my parents with the other babies. The rest are my brother’s children.”

  “It’s hard to have a doctor on call who is trustworthy.” Mason walks in front of us trying to catch up with the children. We pass two homes before reaching a fenced playground. The gate opens automatically, and everyone runs inside. The gate closes behind us. Brynn and I are in awe of the technology they have. “With our hectic schedule and high profile family, we need the doctors to come to them.”

  “High profile?” I tilt my head arching an eyebrow.

  “All will be disclosed when and if you accept working for us. You can work in the ER of Seattle Memorial, or have your own practice. Our only stipulation is that one of you come over during their regular checkups or if we have an emergency.”

  “We are already setting up our own practice.” I angle my head to Scarlett. “She might move close and open a veterinary practice if you’re interested.”

  “What about the ranch?” He studies Scarlett who has a pale face and is staring at him either confused or with a big crush.

  “He’s Anderson’s boss,” I inform her.

  “Partner,” he corrects me. “We made a few modifications before he left for his last mission. I’m glad to hear that we were able to help with the issue you had ongoing at the ranch.”

  “Thank you,” I answer for my bestie who is mute for the first time in years—or since I met her.

  “I have a few questions for you.” He gives me a glance. “How willing are you to drive to this area when we need you?”

  “There’s always an emergency,” Ainsley sighs not moving her eyes from the children. How does she do it? “We try our best to . . . Gabe, sweetheart, no!”

  One of the cute, little blond boys tried to use the slide standing up, losing his equilibrium and falling down to the side. I rush along with her to check on Gabe. She picks him up and hugs him tight. “You’re okay, baby. Aunty Ainse has you. Where are you hurt?”

  His knee has a big scrape, his chin rests on Ainsley’s shoulder. I touch his hand. “Hi, my name is Aspen. What’s your name?”

  “Gabe,” he says, big fat tears sliding down his cheeks.

  “Gabe, I’m a doctor. Can you tell me what hurts?” He shakes his head. “Can I check your leg? It looks like you need a Band-Aid.”

  “I want mommy,” he cries louder.

  “While your mom arrives, I can clean your wound. In my bag, I have special Band-Aids.”

  “Superhero Band-Aids,” Brynn adds handing me over the small first aid kit from my messenger bag. “You can use my special stethoscope while she cleans that ugly scrape.”

  Brynn and I have some plastic medical equipment for children to play while we work on them. Ainsley sits on a bench; three other children approach us. One of them identical to Gabe. That boy is the one who reaches out for the stethoscope, inspecting it. “It’s not real. Do you have one that works? If not, he won’t touch it.”

  “Is that so?” I smile, taking out the case of my stethoscope, opening it and checking his heart. “Your heart works well. Anyone else would like to volunteer?”

  “I do.” The little girl with pigtails next to him raises her hand. “I like you.”

  “Thank you. Would you like to help us with your cousin’s wound?” She nods. “Brynn, we have a nurse.”

  Releasing his aunt, Gabe pays attention to his cousin who is holding the container with cleaning pads. I wipe the scrape, put on an X-Men Band-Aid and check his other extremities making sure he didn’t break a bone.

  “You did great, Gabe, how about I give your aunt a special candy for later?” He nods. I search for one of the lollipops I carry around and give it to Ainsley for later.<
br />
  Thank you, she mouths standing up and going around the playground gathering all the children.

  “I want to be a doctor,” declares the little girl with the blonde pigtails and mischievous smile. “Help others feel better and give them candy.”

  The words hit right where I needed. She reminded me why I wanted to be a doctor and this moment made everything better for me. In practice, I can do exactly what I like. No more rushing patients, fix them up or lose them. This time I get to forge relationships, care for my patients and see them grow.

  “You want to be too many things, Piper.” Mason picks her up gives her a kiss on the cheek and puts her back down.

  “Daddy says I can be as many things as I want to be.”

  “Of course Mattie said that.” Ainsley laughs shaking her head. “My brother has no sense of the word limitations.”

  “Do I get a special candy for being your helper, please?” The child has no problem asking for what she wants—in a very polite way.

  “Yes, I’ll give it to your aunt. She’ll decide when to give it to you.”

  Ainsley takes it as she suggests finger painting in the house. They rush out as the gate opens, and we follow behind with Mason beside us.

  “The offer is open. I can help you with housing, and we can discuss salary at my office tomorrow.”

  “I don’t mind working part-time—during the day—at Seattle Memorial. What do you think, Aspen?” Brynn jumps into the negotiation.

  “Part time . . . maybe, I want to focus on children,” I remind her that the ER isn’t my favorite place with just a glance. She can work at a hospital, bring in new patients. I can work at a free clinic or . . . can we set our own free clinic? “You and your siblings have thirteen—and growing. I could provide a few services. We’d have to agree on the schedule, though.”

  “That’s all possible. I’ll have a look into those applications tomorrow morning.” He shakes our hands. “Dr. Zimmerman, confirm tomorrow if you want a position at the hospital, or maybe permission to work in case we require you.”

  “I like the latter, is it possible?”

  He gives me a sharp nod.

  Brynn blinks twice, then grins.

  “Thank you for lunch,” we say in unison as we approach the entry door.

  “How is Anderson?”

  “Hawk is well, working. Give him a few more weeks before he comes back home.” His face remains serious. There’s no worry or fear, I relax some knowing Anderson is okay.

  “Thank you.” I shake his hand.

  “Dr. Ward, Dr. Zimmerman, I’d love to have you both on board. According to your records, you are both talented, hardworking doctors. If either one of you decides not to take my offer I understand, that doesn’t negate my offer to the other.” He gives a light nod as he opens the door. “Please, don’t hesitate to contact me with questions and to discuss your salary.”

  “Salary?” We both say in unison.

  “Once you accept my offer, you’ll have to sign an NDA. You’ll receive a monthly wage. We expect you to drop everything if I have an injured agent or come and check on the children if there’s an emergency,” he continues, tapping his phone. “Some months you might be here daily. Others, we might not see you. We’ll pay for the convenience to have you around.”

  We leave his house, not saying a word; both thinking about our future. This might be Brynn’s call. I could be their doctor when it’s convenient for both parties.

  “What do you think?” Brynn interrupts my thoughts during our drive home.

  “He’s hardcore,” Scarlett finally speaks. I was starting to worry about her. “I think I’m in love with him—not that I’d do anything. Just . . . he is so bossy, but so sweet with all those children.”

  “He seems to want everything right away. I can work with the children on a ‘we both have time’ basis,” I breathe out the words, excited for what can come next. “Where do you want to live, ladies?”

  ASPEN

  WE NOW LIVE on the West side of Seattle. Lake Washington is in our backyard. Hugo is the happiest dog on the northwestern side of the country. He loves his new house, and is enamored with the lake and the parks where I take him for walks. We spent the morning working out, overlooking the remodeling of our new offices, and studying an associate business degree online to know how to handle all the money my father left. I have no idea how to administer a charity or anything for that matter. My only knowledge when it comes to money is on how to balance my checkbook and create a budget for my house.

  I have credentials to work at Seattle Memorial any time that Mason Bradley needs me, either to treat an injured agent or his family. The NDA prohibits me from telling anyone who I work for, where they live or that I can get the autograph of Chris Decker, the former frontman of the band Dreadful Souls for Walter’s birthday. Life is shaping up, and I am stopping to enjoy every minute without hesitation. Yes, I still take my medication. Anxiety doesn’t just disappear, but it’s getting easier to manage.

  Scarlett hasn’t decided about moving out of the ranch. She’s back in the hole, dealing with an angry father because she slacked off and a mother who can’t understand why she’s the way she is. Happy, free and loving, what’s so hard to understand?

  The only one missing in the picture is Anderson. “A few more weeks,” was a month ago. Still, there’s no sign of him. Not even a text telling me he’s okay.

  “We need to buy groceries.” Hugo lifts his nuzzle barking once. “Yes, you need a juicy bone.” I start writing the list when the doorbell rings.

  Kevin is outside, his eyes red and his hair strands all over the place. “We have to go.”

  “Where?” I hold my breath, my stomach drops. Anderson. No please don’t. “What happened?”

  “I got a call. Anderson is being airlifted to the hospital. He lost a lot of blood and . . . we have to go.”

  I choke back a sob. This can’t be happening. Please, don’t take him away from me. I stop myself, controlling my breathing, my emotions. He needs me. I run inside my house for my keys, my purse, and my phone. “Ready, let’s go.”

  Me: Where are you?

  Brynn: The helipad, waiting.

  Me: You knew?

  Brynn: Only learned a few minutes ago. Bradley had me paged. He’s going to be okay.

  Me: I trust you.

  Brynn: They’re here. I can’t text you anymore. I’ll see you when he’s going to recovery. Love you.

  Me: Love you too.

  “What happened?” I arrive at the waiting room where Bradley and Tiago pace back and forth.

  “We wrapped up the last mission.” Tiago’s voice is distraught, shaky. “Everything worked out perfectly. Anderson faked his death, we transported him to the hospital yesterday where they made sure his system wasn’t compromised after taking some shit to lower his heartbeat. He wanted to surprise you . . .” Tiago stood in front of me, his eyes red. “As we landed in the private hangar . . . He was waiting for us. It was an ambush.”

  “Who?”

  “A DEA agent. We reported his incompetence to the agency. Unfortunately, he knew the plan . . . fucker.” He places his hands on both sides of his head, closing his eyes he squeezes his crane. Ouch. “I’ve never taken so much pleasure in killing someone.”

  Tiago’s face hangs, his big frame shaking. “Anderson held onto me all the way. Bradley was on the radio, coaching me on how to prevent him from bleeding—the way you taught them.”

  Good, they didn’t travel far, and managed the blood loss. I want to ask him more. Where was he shot? Why wasn’t he wearing the fucking armor? Tiago is pale and his eyes look lost. Questioning him won’t help either one of us.

  “He’s going to be fine,” I say out loud, hugging my midriff. Please be okay, Hawk. “Brynn is with him. He has the best doctor I know.”

  Kevin wraps an arm around my shoulders, squeezing tightly. “This isn’t his first rodeo, Aspen. The fucker bounces back, he’s strong.” My heart constricts. I wish I cou
ld be inside the operating room helping, saving him.

  I remained glued close to the door. Austin arrived as soon as Kevin called him. I’ve been numbed. I couldn’t sit or think. It might have been only hours, but it felt like days. From only having four people in the waiting room, at some point, there were dozens of them. Everyone that had come to his mother’s celebration. I shook hands with his friends, who hugged me and told me Anderson would be okay. They brought me coffee, water, and food but I couldn’t stomach anything. At some point, even his therapist was here. Now it’s back to only a few including Bradley, Kevin, and Tiago.

  Finally, the doors opened. Brynn and another doctor wearing blue scrubs and a tired look walked through them.

  “How is he?”

  “He’s doing fine. The gunshot on the left side of his torso broke a couple of ribs, but there was no internal bleeding or damage to his organs.” Brynn hugs me tightly. “The gunman used a standard caliber handgun; the damage was minimal. His left arm is broken. There’s a hole in his radius bone, the orthopedic surgeon fixed the displacement.”

  “Can I see him?”

  “Are you family?” The other doctor narrows his gaze.

  “She’s his fiancé,” Kevin barks stepping closer, Tiago right next to him. “We’re his brothers. When can we see him?”

  “Follow me please.” We walk through the narrow, white halls, take the elevator and go to the fifth floor. “We’re going to have him in the ICU for the night. As Dr. Ward mentioned, there was no internal bleeding, but he has a concussion and was having trouble breathing when he arrived.”

  “I threatened him if he didn’t make it through,” Brynn murmurs in my ear, making me chuckle. “True story. He can’t leave you hanging.”

  Anderson is in a small bedroom with glass walls and curtains for privacy. The bed takes up most of the space. He’s hooked up to a heart monitor—which is also checking his pulse and arterial lines. The plastic tube snaked to his arm is feeding on the IV. I’m about to reach for his chart when Brynn beats me to it, keeping it away from me.