Perfect on Paper

by Destiny Moon

Just then Mrs. Barlow emerged from her shop.

  “Nadine?” Her voice was warm and instantly recognizable.

  “Mrs. Barlow!” She ran to her and hugged her.

  “Why, I haven’t see you since…” Her words trailed off.

  “I know, after everything, I just… Well, I couldn’t come back.”

  “I understand. We all miss your grandfather. We still talk about him a lot, you know. It’s like his spirit never left the neighborhood. Anyway, how’ve you been? Are you still at the investment firm?”

  “No, I left that. I realized I wanted to work in the furniture business.”

  “You what?” Mrs. Barlow covered her mouth in surprise, and it looked for a second as though she fought back tears.

  Nadine nodded. “Yeah, I’ve been working out of my garage. I took my old job at the bookstore back so I’d have health insurance and a steady paycheck, but I’ve been doing better and better with restoration.”

  “It’s in your blood.”

  “Grandpa did teach me everything he knew.”

  “You were the apple of his eye, you know. Don’t get me wrong. He loved your dad, mom and Todd too, but he talked about you nonstop around here. He was so proud of you. He’d be so proud to know you’re in the business.”

  At that, Nadine burst into tears. It was too much to take in. She missed him so much.

  “Is the shop space really up for lease?”

  “It is.”

  “I can’t believe it.”

  “Well, the new owner, Jack Harrington, didn’t have your grandfather’s skill or business sense, you know. He couldn’t make a go of it. Gave it an honest try. It’s been… What? Nearly two years now. He ran through his savings. You can’t blame him for throwing in the towel.”

  She shook her head. No, she couldn’t blame him.

  “I wonder how much he’s asking.”

  “I don’t know, there’s a new building owner, a really good-looking young guy. Are you single? He’d be perfect for you.”

  “It’s complicated,” Nadine said, not wanting to get into it. “I wonder if the shop still has that tiny apartment upstairs. Did you ever see it?”

  “Sure, it was a neat layout, but I know for a fact that Jack doesn’t live there. You sure you’re not seeing anyone? He’s very cute.”

  “Mrs. Barlow!” Nadine blushed. “Stop.”

  “What? You can’t blame me for asking. The only kind of love affairs I get to follow are the ones I live through vicariously.”

  “Well, if you must know, I’ve got too much man-drama right now as it is. I really just want to clear my head of men and focus on getting my business up and running.”

  “Sure, dear.” Mrs. Barlow looked up into the dark depths of the upstairs windows of the heritage building. “Do you remember when you were just a little girl and you used to stay up there with George?”

  “Of course,” she said, recalling the scent of cinnamon tea and brilliantine and her grandfather’s woolen blankets and Buddy all combined to create that familiar smell of home. “The view from up there was wonderful. All that afternoon sun.”

  “Yes. I think Jack just uses it for storage.”

  “Strange. It was such an inviting place to live.”

  Mrs. Barlow nodded. “Well, I don’t mean to be forward, but maybe you should have a look.”

  “You know what? I will.” She looked around, as though she couldn’t quite take it all in. “It can’t hurt to look, right?”

  Mrs. Barlow gave her a pat on the back. She was such a kind and gentle woman. Nadine felt terrible for not having visited. It seemed silly now that she was here, but it had pained her to think of seeing this neighborhood without Grandpa Winston being in it anymore.

  She went inside the shop. It had the same smell of wooden floors and she saw dust and beeswax furniture polish.

  “Can I help you?” The shopkeeper popped his head up from behind the counter where he had been reading the newspaper and drinking tea.

  “Are you Jack?”

  “I am.”

  “I saw the sign out front.”

  He offered a handshake.

  * * * *

  After work, Nadine needed to strip paint off a dresser in the tiny little window between her paid job and the date she had agreed to. Two hours was about one-third of the time it normally took, but she was on a deadline, and she was ready to work fast.

  She scurried home, not stopping for a bite to eat, and jumped into her coveralls. Thankfully, she had taken Duchess for a long walk at lunch, she mused, because there was not enough time for another one. Yet, her sweet companion came with her into the workspace and took her spot on the warm dog bed that protected her from the concrete floor.

  With precision of focus and incredible superhuman speed, Nadine set to work applying the chemicals she needed to use to dissolve paint that had been on the piece since before the Second World War. Old-fashioned oil paint was the toughest, but she had the solution. Layers upon layers began to peel off and she took her scraper to the surface and helped the process along, stripping the piece right down to the wood on only the first application in some areas. Other areas took more work. Two and a half hours passed with Nadine completely unaware of time. She was in the zone. This was the only way she ever got to such a meditative state. Working with furniture made her feel like she was fulfilling her life’s purpose. All her cares and troubles melted away and all that mattered was seeing this object emerge, as fresh as it had been when it was first built. She loved to think about that, how all of the pieces she worked with came from a time when people actually built. In those days, people didn’t go to Ikea and buy lacquered particleboard to assemble themselves. Carpenters worked on a project from start to finish. She imagined that if she were alive back then, she would have been a carpenter.

  The buzzer on her cell phone signaled that it was time to move on, and it was probably for the best as she was getting cold working in the open garage with a fan set to send the toxic fumes away. In spite of gloves, her mask and coveralls, she felt the chill and looked forward to her warm shower.

  Nadine washed her hands with the industrial strength orange exfoliating soap she kept by the downstairs sink. She dried them on her coveralls and went upstairs, eager to escape the fumes that would linger in the garage for hours, even with the carport open and the fan on. How desperately she wanted a work space.

  She took off her coveralls and hung them on the banister and continued upstairs straight to the bathroom to take a shower. There wasn’t much time. She had promised to be ready by seven. She took her clothes off quickly and placed them neatly on the counter. When she looked at herself in the mirror, she hardly recognized her body. All the physical labor she had been doing lately had changed her. The tummy she had spent her early twenties being self-conscious of was gone and her arms were muscular. Her phone signaled that she had a text message, so she looked for it in the heap of clothes. It was Allan.

  Hey, princess. I’m leaving now. Can’t wait to see you.

  She did a double take. It had been a long time since anyone had called her princess, and the name no longer fit. She’d outgrown it long ago and it occurred to her in that moment that the girl Allan had asked out, the girl he had been so eager to see, no longer existed.

  This date didn’t seem at all like the act of kindness her mother had convinced her it could be. It seemed like a huge mistake.

  * * * *

  True to his word, Allan arrived at seven. He was exactly on time. She was running late. Though she was still wrapped in a towel, she flew down the stairs and opened the door.

  “Come on up,” she said. “I’m almost ready.”

  As they reached the top of the stairs, she offered him a glass of wine and told him that she just had to put on the finishing touches.

  “The reservation’s for seven,” he said.

  “It’s seven now.”

  “Yeah, so we should probably head right there.”

  “But, you know me. You
know I’m always running a little behind, and we still have to drive there. Why didn’t you make the reservation for seven-thirty?”

  “I thought you said we shouldn’t make assumptions anymore.”

  “I did, but…” Her words trailed off. “Never mind. I’ll be ready in a minute.”

  It wasn’t true. Fifteen minutes had passed before she emerged from the bathroom, wearing her favorite BCBG tight blue dress that she’d had no use for this past year. Tonight was the night. But she had started to perspire because of the tight deadline so she’d been slowed down because she’d needed to apply more deodorant and take a tissue to her forehead where there was some beading.

  “You look gorgeous.”

  “Thanks,” she said. “Let’s go. We’re late.”

  “I called Pacific Rim and pushed back our reservation. Don’t worry.”

  Nadine sighed a breath of relief. “Why didn’t you tell me? I was rushing.”

  “I do want to eat some time before ten,” he joked. “I know you can spend forever on your hair.”

  Nadine didn’t laugh.

  When they arrived, Allan took charge, holding all the doors for her and taking her coat for the coat check. She remembered what it was like to be his girlfriend. She wanted to resist his chivalrous gestures, but she figured that she might as well enjoy them. Besides, her mother would ask her about all of the details later, so she sat back and let Allan be Allan.

  He examined the wine list as though it was in a language that only he understood. When the sommelier came, they conversed about regions and bouquets and all kinds of things that Nadine didn’t know much about. Allan selected a bottle of wine that earned a nod of approval from the discerning expert who promptly returned, uncorked and poured a tiny amount into Allan’s glass for him to judge. It suited him perfectly, Nadine noticed, to be treated this way. It had been a while since she’d spent any significant amount of time with Allan and she noticed that he had refined some of his mannerisms. He’d become ever more the gentleman he used to be. He was much more visually successful than he used to be. It was all in the details. His luxurious BMW, the silver Rolex watch that suited his wrist, the complex aroma of his cologne, his pressed shirt, the perfectly tailored jacket. Allan had become more of himself, that much was obvious. And she couldn’t help but admit that it was nice to see. She still let him occupy a very significant place in her heart. All of her formative years had included him. Besides, it felt nice to be out with such a dignified and powerful man. It was an unusual treat.

  They sipped their wine and Nadine relaxed into this date.

  “So, as I was saying Sunday, there’ve been a lot of changes. You’d love the property I bought. I want you to see it. The balcony would suit you just perfectly.”

  Nadine found herself strangely sucked into his world. It was nearly impossible to be around Allan and not be allured by his magnetism. He exuded confidence and security and he was sexier than ever. It wasn’t just her. Anyone would fall prey to those dark eyes and that infectious smile. It was also in the generally pleasant demeanor he showed the world. He knew exactly how to talk to the servers and everyone around them. She’d always admired the effortlessness with which he carried himself, like he knew that others received a great deal of pleasure from interacting with him.

  When Allan ordered, the server made a point of complimenting his taste.

  In spite of her best attempts to repress all of the passionate memories they shared, Nadine found herself falling for Allan’s charm.

  After the food had arrived, she blamed the coconut curry soup. Her senses were overwhelmed. Some blame also had to go to the peppercorn and wasabi seared Kobe steak. She’d give Allan that, too. The man knew food. He was definitely traditional, but he knew how to show a lady a good time.

  “Nadine, I want you to know I’ve done a lot of growing over the past couple of years. I’m not the same person, I swear.” He put down his fork and knife.

  “You seem like you’ve become more of yourself,” Nadine said, though she didn’t know whether it was a compliment or an insult.

  “I’ve learned a lot. I know I hurt you. It’s the biggest regret of my life.” He looked down at his dinner but didn’t touch it. “To think that I had you and gave you up. It tears me up inside.”

  “You’ve had other girlfriends since?”

  “Of course,” he said without hesitation. “Lots.”

  Nadine nodded, feeling a combination of relief and nausea at the thought. It figured that a guy like him would have had a lot of girlfriends. It had been one of her biggest insecurities during their relationship. She’d obsessed over the amount of girls who had crushes on him and feared that his curiosity would tear them apart.

  “But none of them ever compared to you.”

  This comment, spoken so sincerely, couldn’t fail to arouse some form of sentimentality and nostalgia in Nadine. She’d longed to hear him say this and had fantasized about these very words for a long time.

  She wanted more. “Go on.”

  “We had it all, Nadine. Our history together, our great sexual connection, the fact that our families already love each other. I wanted you to be the mother of my kids.”

  “But you left”—Nadine sat back in her chair, more solemn than before—“in an abrupt and downright cruel way.”

  “I felt like I had no other choice.”

  “You could have at least waited until after the party. Or hell, you could have figured it out before. You left me with a houseful of guests who wanted an explanation. Do you have any idea how mortifying that was for me?”

  He leaned in, and looked like he was in pain just thinking about it. “I’m sorry. I would never do that now. I’ve changed.”

  “That’s hard for me to believe. I mean, you come back with this flair of arrogance and call me up and expect that I’ve been waiting for you.”

  “You’re not married.”

  She was aghast. “No, I’m not.”

  “Then it isn’t a lost cause. I don’t care if there’s a boyfriend. I can win out in the end. We’re soulmates. I know it.”

  “Allan, this isn’t a game. You don’t have to beat someone in a wrestling match.”

  “But I will if you want me to. Anything. You name it.”

  “I’d never ask you to compete for me.”

  “So there is someone to compete with?”

  Nadine nodded. “There is.”

  “What’s his name?”

  “I’m not telling you.” She knew very well how Allan could get. If he still had the temper he used to, he might just fly out of here and go cause a scene. That was his specialty. It had appealed to her when she was younger and he had in fact roughed up other guys in the name of love. And for some primal and irrational reason, she still found it hot. It was impossible to explain.

  “Then tell me what he’s got that I don’t have.”

  “It’s not a competition.”

  “Level with me, Nadine. I mean, I know you. I know you wanted us to get married and I know that even though you’re putting up a brave front here, you did wait for me, at least for a while. Somewhere in your heart there is a possibility for us, or else you wouldn’t even be here with me now.”

  “I’m here because my mom insisted.”

  “All right. That’s something. You can’t possibly tell me that your family would ever like this guy more than me.”

  “They do like you a lot, but to be fair, they’ve never met this other guy.”

  “That tells me everything I need. If you haven’t brought him home, you can’t be that serious about him. There’s still a chance for us. So tell me, what does he have that I don’t have?”

  “Why, Allan? So you can try to beat him?”

  He put his hand on his chin, like he was striking a thoughtful pose right out of a men’s fashion magazine. “I’m interested in working on myself. If he’s got some trait that you want, I will try my best to make improvements. Remember how I used to hate girl movies, but I st
arted watching them for you? Like that. So what is it?”

  “Well, he’s…” Nadine blushed. She could feel her cheeks redden as she spoke. “He’s, um, attentive.”

  “What does that mean? He listens? I listen.”

  “You do. But not like him. I mean, when I’m with him, it feels like I have his undivided attention at all times. And he’s attentive in other ways, too.”

  “What do you mean?”

  She gave him a devious look.

  “Oh, now he’s better in the sack than me, too?”

  “It’s not a competition. It’s not about better,” Nadine said, but her blushing gave her away. “He’s just really focused on my pleasure. That’s what I mean.”

  “I’d like the record to state that I’ve learned a lot since we were together.”

  “I’m sure.”

  “Let me prove it to you,” he said, taking her hand in his and guiding it to his lips where he kissed it. All the while he stared into her eyes.

  Nadine could not ignore the sensations that were building in her. She couldn’t fight her animal nature. Her body said yes to Allan instinctively. She found herself appalled by his arrogance intellectually, but turned on simultaneously. How could he manage to have such an effect, she wondered. In her shyness, she picked up her fork and knife and tried to eat again, but it was useless. He had her in his grip.

  “I want another date with you to prove to you that I can be attentive.”

  “Allan, it’s not like that. Besides, I’m really busy these days.”

  “Okay, here’s what we’re going to do. I’m going to be really observant or whatever and if I can get you to kiss me by the end of the night, then I get to go on another date with you. This Friday night. Do you have plans?”

  “Let me check.” She took out her phone, which also contained her calendar, and scrolled through her week. She didn’t have plans. She wanted to say no out of principle, but she had a weak spot for Allan, especially domineeringly sexy Allan who had the charm turned up fully. “I’m free.”

  “All right, so it’s a plan.”

  “If I kiss you later, it’s a plan,” she corrected.