A Season of Change

by Lynette Sowell

  But when the door opened, there stood Natalie, who now gaped at him, much like he was gaping at her. “Natalie—”

  “Jacob.” She shut the door behind her. “I figured you’d be at work.”

  “Off today.”

  “Ah, I see. Is Katie at the house?” The light breeze lifted the ends of her hair. The memory of touching the silken strands came back to him. Temptation now, even at his doorstep.

  “I suppose she is.” He wiped his brow. “The children are all at school.”

  “Right,” she said. “It’s Friday.”

  “Yes, it is.” He wanted to scold himself. This was his friend. She knew things about him, and his family, most people didn’t. But Amish males didn’t have “friendships” with Englisch females.

  “Well, I assume this is your house, so the other house must belong to Ephraim and Katie.” She scanned its windows, the porch. Did she think it plain? But then, he shouldn’t worry about what she thought about his house.

  “You’re very right.” He wanted to begin a light banter with her, to see the wry grin light up her face, to feel his heart race as she tossed back a verbal response, tinged with her own wit. But he didn’t.

  “I, uh, I’ve actually brought some of Zeke and Rebecca’s things.” She gestured at the vehicle “Your mammi insisted that I bring them with me, so of course, I had to. And some orange preserves.”

  Mammi could have let whatever it was stay in Florida until next winter. Of course, she knew that. Natalie probably did too.

  “That was kind of you.”

  “I’ve been visiting with my mother’s family near Millersburg for a few days, and I’ve come by here on my way back to Florida.”

  “So, how was it for you, seeing the family?”

  “It was good, very good. I plan to see them again, whether some of them come to Pinecraft or if I come to Ohio.” She turned, pulling on her door handle. “Oh no.”

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I’ve . . . I’ve locked my keys in the car.”

  Jacob laid the hoe against the fence and joined Natalie on the other side of the gate. He pulled on the handle, then squinted through the window.

  “I wonder if there’s a way to put something through, like a hanger, and flip that switch.” He stood close to her, nearly as close as the day on the deserted beach. She smelled like fresh soap, much like the kind Katie was so skilled at making. The scent of Amish soap on Natalie Bennett shouldn’t make him want to kiss her.

  Natalie seemed oblivious to his inner struggle. “I’m not sure. I could locate a lock service with my phone, and see if they can come out.” Yet her voice quavered a little as she leaned beside him to look inside the driver’s window.

  He wanted to talk about anything besides her keys locked in her car. He wanted to tell her more than once he’d considered hiring a driver or hopping a bus back to Florida, to explore any possibilities they could be together. Yet, this was how forbidden fruit appeared—appealing.

  “I’ll see if I have a hanger to use,” was what he said instead. “If not, you’ll probably have to call someone.”

  “Thank you.” She stood up straight, as did he. She blinked, but looked him straight in the eye. “Um, I’ll go say hello to Katie while you get the hanger.” Had she been about to say something else? She’d never seemed the quiet type, which was where any similarities between her and Hannah ended. Yet, it was one of the things which drew him to her.

  Natalie scurried off across the driveway and farmyard in the direction of Ephraim and Katie’s home, an exact replica of his home. Their parents’ home lay farther down the lane, built over forty years ago.

  Jacob wanted to scurry off as well, somewhere, anywhere but here. He wasn’t quite sure of the time, but it had to be mid-morning. Undoubtedly, Katie would invite Natalie to stay, at least through supper to spend time with the children. Since their return from Florida and Rebecca’s brief hospital stay, they’d taken to having the evening meal with Ephraim, Katie, and their brood.

  But no, he couldn’t run. What harm could a few hours’ visit do? He could do this. First, though, he went for a wire hanger. He found one easily enough in the front closet and began untwisting it to form a tool to work to unlock the door. He’d never attempted something like this before, but had seen Henry unlock his ancient minivan in Florida.

  He glanced toward Ephraim and Katie’s house as he passed through the wooden gate. No signs of Katie or Natalie at the moment. His sister had developed a fond adoration of Natalie and had asked about her often. If she guessed at his feelings for Natalie, she never mentioned them.

  Jacob stopped at the driver’s door and looked through the window at the lock mechanism. He knew many vehicles had computers controlling them, but a lock was a lock, and something had to flip the switch inside the door panel.

  He stuck the wire down between the window and the door, not sure what he was feeling for. Yet another skill he’d gleaned in Florida, never imagining it would be useful here in Ohio.

  Ten minutes, he finagled the lock, trying to imagine what it was he needed to trigger inside the door. Another glance at the house across the way. Nothing yet.

  Natalie Bennett. Here. He could do this. If he could get the lock popped, he could face the memories Natalie brought with her, with only a shimmer of hair and glance of her eyes.

  “Help me, Gotte, with this door and with Natalie.” He gritted his teeth as he murmured the words aloud. No one around could hear him. “I want Your will for me and I do know she is a distraction—” He twisted the hanger with a little more force than he’d intended “—and a temptation to worldliness I can’t make room for in my life.”

  Another tug on the hanger and it was almost as good as an Amen. A click told him it had worked. The lock shot up, and he grinned.

  A door banged, and Jacob looked across the yard. Here came Natalie, grinning.

  “You did it.”

  “I did.”

  “Well, thank you. You helped save me some money here.” Natalie glanced at the car. “Here, I can pop the trunk now and give you the children’s things.”

  She moved around him and he followed. It was going to be a long, long day.

  With the trunk open, she pulled out a pair of plastic bags emblazoned with the Yoder’s restaurant “I love pies” logo. The memory of the Florida restaurant made Jacob smile in spite of the nerve endings that pinked and plunked at Natalie’s nearness.

  “I think it was some clothing. And the preserves.” Natalie handed him the bags.

  He shook his head. “She could have mailed these, or kept them until winter.”

  “But the kids would outgrow the clothes by then, I’m sure.”

  He hadn’t thought of that. “Ach, you’re right. As a father, I forget some things.”

  “You have done a wonderful job, Jacob Miller. Would that all fathers care for their children like you’ve done yours.” Her voice was soft. She cleared her throat. “Anyway, Katie has asked me to stay for the day. I hear you are all having supper guests, a new family to the area?”

  This was news to him. “I didn’t know that. Well, we’ll have a houseful then, I’m sure.”

  She nodded. “Katie and I are going to drive to town before the children get out of school and pick up a few extra things. Do you need anything?”

  “No, can’t say as I do.”

  “Thank you again, Jacob, for getting my door unlocked.” She smiled at him, the open grin he’d missed since leaving Florida.

  He tried to return the grin, but failed. Anne and her family would be at supper tonight.

  Sometimes, a man just couldn’t get a break.

  26

  Natalie didn’t want to wake up from her dream. She was in Ohio, visiting her mother’s family, and now spending time with the Millers. She’d seen Jacob right away, and after absentmindedly locking her keys in the car, realized her feelings for him still flickered with a strong flame. Of course, they did. Sometimes it would be nice for feelings to
come with an on-off switch.

  “Is there anything else I can do?” she asked Katie, who bustled around the farmhouse kitchen. They’d already returned from a quick shopping trip to town via Natalie’s vehicle.

  “No, you’ve helped a lot. I had wanted a few extra potatoes for the mashed potatoes tonight, because I’m nearly out of what I canned from last year. You made going to market much faster today.” Katie paused, then grabbed the ten-pound bag on the butcher block island. “Matter of fact, you can help. You can peel these. We have fourteen mouths to feed tonight.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” Natalie marched over to the island and picked up the paring knife. “When will the children arrive home from school?”

  “Close to four o’clock.”

  “I can’t wait to see them.” She opened the bag and pulled out a potato. “How have they been, since coming home from Florida?”

  “They have done extremely well, although I think they miss some of the bustle of the city and all its novelties.”

  “I can imagine. But the quiet is nice—it’s peaceful here.” Natalie managed not to peel too much of the potato’s flesh away with the skin. “Plus, there’s so much for children to do here, to stay active and outside.”

  Katie nodded. “There’s always something to do, and they’ve been busy helping plant the gardens. I managed to get part of Jacob’s garden planted before they arrived home.”

  “Your flower garden is beautiful. I saw it on the way in.”

  “Danke. Well, it’s still getting started. You should see the vegetable garden in summertime, all the ripe fat tomatoes, rows of beans and sweet peas, ready for the picking.” Her voice took on a wistful tone. “Right now it’s not the prettiest, all the rain we’ve had.”

  “I did bring some preserves from Rachel. She wanted to be sure I brought something just from her.”

  “I miss her.” Katie stopped working the bread dough for a moment. “She seems like she’s doing well after losing Daadi Miller, from what I hear. Every winter, we’d go to Pinecraft, and I was used to seeing both of them. Even before I married Ephraim and I traveled with my family.”

  “I try to see her when I can. Now that the quilt’s done, I don’t have a built-in excuse to see her,” Natalie admitted. She didn’t want to add in the weeks the Millers had been gone, seeing Rachel and her surroundings only reminded her of Jacob and the children.

  Katie’s glance slid sideways, and Natalie kept her focus fixed on the potato she now held. “My bruder-in-law isn’t there anymore either, nor are the children.”

  Natalie nodded. She wasn’t sure what to say, how much to reveal to Katie. Did the woman think the idea of Natalie and Jacob together a good thing? Or did she see their differences loom between them?

  “Well, I know all of them miss you, even Jacob, who’s stubborn and won’t admit it.” Katie rolled the dough into a bowl, then covered it with a clean towel.

  “But . . .”

  “Yes, there is that but.” Katie frowned. “I’ve seen women try to join the Amish, not many, but a few. It’s a hard way of life. It’s all I’ve known, so I don’t think it’s so bad. The Lord gives me joy in my journey. But most women start pining for their pretty clothes and jewelry, they tire of the head covering and our simple dresses. For them, the chores become endless. I wouldn’t want Jacob to be left alone again, nor the children.”

  “I understand, believe me.” Natalie set down her paring knife. “I’ve thought about it, too. It would be cruel to all of them. They deserve someone who’s able to love them without having to make such a difficult decision.”

  “There is a family coming for supper tonight, a new family to our district. They have a daughter who’s of marriageable age. I thought you should know, especially since you are a good friend to our family.” Katie pulled a tall stockpot from a shelf. “It’s no secret people like to make matches around here. It can be a good thing, or a bad thing, or awkward, depending on the situation.”

  “So, is that what you’re doing, matchmaking?” Natalie fought to get the words around the lump in her throat. So Jacob hadn’t chosen Betsy Yoder. Betsy was still in sunny Florida, but here was another prospect coming to his doorstep.

  “No, not really. We decided to be neighborly, since they purchased the farm down the lane from us.” Katie motioned for Natalie to join her by the sink. “Bring the potatoes, and we can get them on the stove next.”

  “Well, I won’t say your brother-in-law hasn’t been on my mind,” Natalie ventured to say. “But I’ve thought of the same reasons you have. Part of me wishes we could find some kind of compromise.”

  “There is no compromise to entice Jacob to leave his home, his family, everything he knows behind, only for the sake of love. It is very difficult in the world for the ex-Amish. My—my little brother left and he has more than paid the price for his decision.” A flush of red sprang up in Katie’s cheeks.

  “Here, I’ll put the pot on the stove.” Natalie picked up the pot while Katie lit the burner. “Gas stove?”

  Katie nodded. “So much easier to use than wood fire stove. Ephraim’s parents believe propane is a bit of compromise.”

  “But, your brother. What happened to him?”

  “He left, right before he was baptized. He started partying with alcohol and drugs, then got an Englisch woman with child. They ‘broke up,’ as the Englisch say, and now he has a son he never gets to see.”

  “Oh, Katie, how terrible. I’m so sorry.” Now she understood a bit better why any hint of compromise was a sign worldliness was at the door, ready to pounce on them like a rabid dog.

  “And his pride, his wicked pride—well, it keeps him from coming back to us. He drowns his sorrows in alcohol, and sometimes says he doesn’t care if he’s bound for hell.” Katie rubbed her eyes. “He could come back to the district at any time, but for his stubbornness.”

  “If he only knew how much he was loved, how much God loves him.” Natalie frowned. “He could have even started a good life, without the drugs and alcohol and partying lifestyle.”

  Katie shrugged. “He was done with the rules.”

  Natalie wanted to explain compromise on Jacob’s part needn’t mean compromising his faith, but even she wasn’t sure what would be considered leaving the church. There were Amish who lived outside the district year-round, like in Florida.

  The conversation switched to the supper menu, plus Natalie’s consideration of looking for a new job—“Imagine, getting to travel again, to so many different places,” Katie had said.

  “I’m not sure if it’ll work out, but I was looking for a change,” Natalie explained. “It’s time.”

  Slowly the hands of the battery-operated clock on the wall slipped closer to the 4 o’clock hour. The children would be home soon. Natalie smiled at the thought of their faces when they saw her at their aunt’s supper table.

  Soon the chatter of children’s voices coming up the driveway filtered through the open kitchen window.

  “Here they are, full of energy. I wish I could find a way to harvest some of it,” Katie said, going to the kitchen door. Her trio bounded inside, then skidded to a stop when they saw Natalie.

  The stair-stepped children turned from all talk and laughter to a more solemn outlook.

  “Children, this is Natalie, who became Rebecca and Zeke’s friend when Rebecca was in the hospital in Florida.”

  They bobbed their heads, whispering in Pennsylvania Dutch and carrying their lunch coolers to the counter.

  Katie kissed each of them on the head in turn, then gave a flurry of instructions as her brood scampered away. “It’s easier to use our language. I told them to wash their hands and start homework before supper, because we’re having company and might have some singing or games.”

  Natalie nodded. Of course, Rebecca and Zeke would see their father first after school. She imagined they had the same reception once they skipped through the wooden gate and up the front porch steps.

  “She’s here, she’s he
re!” a little voice called from outside. “I knew she’d come visit us one day.”

  Zeke pelted through the screen door like it was of no consequence. “Natalie, you’re here.” He threw his arms around her neck and hopped into her lap.

  She would have tumbled over in the wooden chair, had she not been bracing herself. “Oh, my Zeke, how I’ve missed you.” Only he wasn’t hers, nor was Rebecca. She regretted the use of “my” as soon as the two-letter word slipped from her mouth.

  Rebecca soon followed, limping as she crossed the threshold. “You are here.” She limped the rest of the way across the kitchen and joined in the embrace. “I thought Zeke was being silly.”

  “No, not today.” Natalie blinked. She couldn’t and wouldn’t cry, but Katie gave her a knowing look and a slim smile. “How are you feeling? How is your leg?”

  “It is better and better every day. I can walk to school, most days.”

  “And your schoolwork is going well?”

  “Yes, we kept right up with everything in Florida, too.”

  Then they pestered her with questions about Rachel, if she’d been fishing since they’d been gone, if she was still working for the circus school. No, she wouldn’t tell them she was thinking of leaving the school. The news wouldn’t matter so much to them.

  Would it matter to Jacob? Her whole world changed since they’d been gone, and maybe distance and more change would help her miss them less, help her forget what was likely a foolish dream, even now taunting her at the sight of these precious children.

  Jacob saw the Troyers’ horse and buggy pass the house and continue until it reached Ephraim’s farmyard. He ought to stop working, wash his hands, and prepare for supper. The children hadn’t returned since he’d told them that Natalie was at the house with Katie and their cousins.

  Should he change his shirt? He had another shirt in the closet, not his Sunday shirt, but an extra one was not so work-worn. However, Anne might get the wrong idea, as if perhaps he was dressing for her. But then, he didn’t want to show up to supper with the dirt from the work day on his clothing.