The Forest Ranger's Christmas

by Leigh Bale

  His eyes shimmered with gratitude. “You sound just like your grandma. And just now, you look like your momma, although you have your daddy’s eyes.”

  Josie laughed, fighting back the tears. “That’s one of the greatest compliments anyone’s ever paid me. I so want to be like all of you.”

  They hugged again and she wiped her eyes.

  Clint returned and they talked a little while longer. Josie held Gramps’s hand and laughed when Clint described Gracie’s enthusiasm at finding out Frank was going to be okay. Thirty minutes later, Josie could see that he was tired and needed rest.

  After saying good-night, Josie walked Clint out to the main lobby. Like a wind tunnel, drafts of icy air whipped past them each time someone walked through the dark outer doors. Josie shivered and Clint removed his coat and whisked it over her shoulders. The gentlemanly gesture pleased her enormously. His coat smelled of his clean, spicy scent and she took a deep inhalation.

  “Thank you,” she said, and curled her arms within the warm folds.

  “You sure you want to stay here all night? You won’t get much rest in the hospital waiting room.” He slid his hands into his pants pockets and hunched his shoulders, an indication that he was cold, but would sacrifice his own comfort for hers.

  With a bit of reluctance, Josie relinquished his coat and handed it back to him. “I’m not budging. Not until I can take Gramps home.”

  He took the coat, but didn’t put it on. He hesitated, as though he longed to stay here with her. And that meant everything to Josie. It was odd, but when she was with him, she felt strangely calm and settled. As if everything in her life made sense. Her fears and doubts faded away into perfect clarity of thought. It was as if they were old and dear friends, familiar and safe. But now he needed to leave. She didn’t want him driving home on slick roads in the dark.

  “You better get going. Night is coming on and you’ll need to watch out for black ice.”

  Lifting his hand, he brushed her cheek with his fingertips. “You take care of yourself.”

  Currents of electricity shot through her. She squelched the desire to hug him.

  “I will.” She gave him a warm smile and nudged his arm. “Go on, now. I’m fine. Really. And tell Gracie we’ll be home tomorrow night.”

  “All right.” He turned and walked toward the doors. They slid open and he passed through to the damp sidewalk outside.

  Josie crossed her arms and braced herself against the rush of freezing wind. She paused there for several moments, waiting. Before he got into his truck and pulled away, he looked back at her over his shoulder. She knew, because she watched to see if he would.

  He lifted a hand in farewell, and she waved back. Once he drove out of the parking lot, she finally realized she hadn’t eaten all day. Though she had little appetite, she realized her body still needed nourishment.

  Alone in the hospital cafeteria, she ate a light dinner of tomato bisque, chicken salad and a slice of pumpkin pie with whipped cream on top. It sure wasn’t as good as Grandma’s recipe.

  As she picked at her food, Josie mulled over what Gramps and Clint had each told her about their lives. They were remarkable men and she respected them both. When she went home to Las Vegas, she was going to miss them so very much. And Gracie, too. In fact, Josie didn’t know how she was going to stand it.

  * * *

  Three days passed before Clint saw Josie again. Three tortuous days during which he purposefully stayed away, even though he knew Frank was out of the hospital and back home again.

  Instead of going over to visit, Clint called and spoke with Frank by phone. Gracie went over to visit, but Clint immersed himself in work. An excuse to stay away from Josie.

  It didn’t help. On Christmas Eve, Clint thought about bowing out of the Christmas pageant, but knew they were depending on him. He had to go.

  He drove Gracie to the church, arriving twenty minutes early. The pageant wouldn’t last long. Less than an hour, so that people could go home and enjoy the evening with their families.

  As Clint pulled into the parking lot, he noticed Frank’s vehicle parked nearby. The doctor had agreed it would be okay for Frank to attend, but he was not to participate in the program, other than to sing the three wise men song with Clint and Tom.

  As they walked to the inside foyer, Gracie held Clint’s hand. Once inside, she broke away, rushing off to find Josie, who had brought her angel dress. Clint anticipated seeing his daughter in the outfit for the first time. Yet he couldn’t get excited about the event. Not when he knew Josie was leaving in a few days.

  Pasting a smile on his face, he retreated to the cultural hall. The choir members waved and chatted with him, but he couldn’t remember a word of their conversations. His mind felt fogged by confusion. All he could think about was Josie and how he must get through this evening without blurting out how much he loved her.

  The long curtains had been pulled across the stage. People stood around visiting and choosing the best seats in the wide auditorium. In a small town like this, it didn’t matter what denomination you belonged to. Everyone flocked to the little redbrick church to enjoy the celebration of Christ’s birth.

  Wearing his Sunday suit and a red tie, Clint scanned the audience until he picked out Frank and Tom, dressed much the same. For their performance later on, they would don long robes and headbands, and hold gifts meant to resemble gold, frankincense and myrrh.

  He mingled with the members of his congregation on stage, waiting for the performance to begin. He saw Josie, but ducked away, avoiding her. Nervous energy thrummed through his veins, but not because of his performance. Josie stood nearby, her presence setting him on edge.

  She looked up and caught his eye, giving him a wistful smile. Clint gave one sharp nod before jerking his head away. He had no idea how he’d get through Christmas dinner later on that evening, but he must. He’d have to smile and pretend he was having a wonderful evening celebrating the Savior’s birth, when all he wanted to do was cry. If it wouldn’t break Gracie’s heart, he would have canceled. Being with Josie simply prolonged the inevitable. Even if he could believe she’d never leave him, they couldn’t be together. Not in a long-distance relationship. It’d be painful to walk away, but he didn’t believe he had a choice.

  The reverent hum of the choir sifted across the stage in the church auditorium. Clint stood at stage left with Tom. Frank sat on a cushioned chair between them.

  When Gracie filed out with the rest of the children’s chorus, Clint stared in awe. Against the backdrop of the deep green curtain, her white satin dress glimmered in the pale lights. Josie had French braided the girl’s blond hair and coiled it on top of her head. Adoration gleamed in his daughter’s eyes. As she stood beside the makeshift manger Clint had helped the other men construct for this presentation, she sang hosannas to Christ the king.

  She glanced his way, her eyes glimmering with happiness. She brushed a hand down her beautiful dress, as though seeking his approval. An emotion of pure love bubbled up inside of him and he nodded and mouthed the words, You’re beautiful.

  A flush colored her cheeks and her smile widened.

  Lifting his head, Clint looked at Josie and found her watching him. She stood at the back of the raised platform with the rest of the choir members, almost hidden from view. He knew she didn’t feel confident about her singing voice, but she’d still joined the chorus. And knowing she’d taken the time to create such a perfect dress for his daughter touched his heart on a deeply personal level.

  She smiled and nodded in encouragement as Gracie sang her lines. Between Josie and his daughter, Clint didn’t think he’d ever seen anything more wonderful in all his life.

  How he loved them. More than anything else in the world. He couldn’t fight it anymore. The feeling encompassed his heart, so powerful that it almost hurt. He loved Josie, ev
en knowing he would soon lose her. It was Christmas Eve, and within a few short days, she’d be going home to Vegas. Leaving him and Gracie alone.

  A hushed reverence settled over the congregation as the chorus deepened, then reached a crescendo. When Frank began to sing, Clint had to jar himself back to reality.

  He was up next.

  Frank’s deep bass voice carried throughout the hall, thrumming across the expanse of the room in a beautiful serenade of devotion. Clint sang his lines next, followed by Tom. Then the three men sang the melody together, their voices vibrating on the air in perfect harmony.

  The words of the song anchored within Clint’s heart. His love for God almost overwhelmed him, yet he couldn’t seem to trust the Lord enough to let go of the past. When he thought of Karen, needles of grief pierced his heart. He longed to throw off the shackles of guilt, but didn’t know how. His doubts ran too deep to push aside.

  Instead, he fought back his emotions as he lifted his voice in praise and adoration. Yet it was bittersweet. Clint’s joy for Christ’s birth and mission on earth mingled with his frustration at losing Josie. He thought about asking her to stay, but knew he couldn’t do that. It wouldn’t be fair to her. She loved her job in Vegas and had few prospects here in Camlin.

  Somehow from the ashes of his past, Clint must build a future for himself and Gracie. He needed to forgive himself for the past. It was time. Long overdue. And yet he couldn’t seem to let it go.

  If he could make it through until Josie left town in three days, he’d be okay. But then he’d be without her. And that thought left him feeling numb and hollow inside. Empty and alone. Within his mind, Clint could reconcile no other outcome. He must let her go.

  It was already too late. Because losing Josie was going to break his heart no matter what. And after tonight, he was determined never to see her again.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Something was wrong. Josie could feel it like a tangible thing.

  Following the Christmas program at church, she and Gramps had headed home. Clint and Gracie followed in his truck, driving in tandem to Gramps’s place. Yellow, red and green lights twinkled on the house. When she opened the door to the kitchen, warmth spilled out, and the tantalizing aroma of prime rib made her stomach rumble. She’d already made the cranberry salad and set the table, adding an extra leaf to fill out Grandma’s lacy tablecloth.

  Discarding her coat and gloves, Josie immediately set about laying out their meal. Clint and Gracie came inside, carrying a couple gifts.

  “Make yourselves at home,” she called over her shoulder as she slid the yeasty rolls into the oven to warm.

  Clint and Gracie disappeared into the living room with Gramps. Within minutes, Josie had pulled the meat and potatoes from the oven.

  “Come and eat while it’s hot,” she called.

  They sat down together and Gramps offered a blessing on the food. He gave thanks for the bounty they enjoyed, for the Savior’s birth, and for family.

  They enjoyed a sumptuous feast, including homemade pumpkin and pecan pies with whipped cream. But Josie couldn’t taste a thing.

  Frank and Gracie chattered away, recounting every moment of the Christmas pageant. The oohs and ahhs of the audience. The quiet reverence as Frank and Clint sang their parts in the wise men song.

  “It was beautiful,” Josie said.

  She’d never forget Clint’s rich, vibrant voice as he sang with Gramps. In those moments, a peaceful feeling had settled over her and she’d felt close to her Savior. She couldn’t explain it, but she knew God loved her. And she loved Him. But when she thought of leaving town, her throat jammed with emotion. She loved Clint and thought him the most amazing man she’d ever met. How could she leave and forget the integral part he and Gracie had come to play in her life?

  “You definitely did a good job, Daddy.” Gracie leaned against her father as he sat at the table and wrapped his arm around her.

  His smile was subdued. “So did you, honey.”

  “I think we all did well tonight. Especially Josie, with this delicious feast. To Josie. My beautiful girl.” Frank held up his glass of Grandma’s fine crystal.

  Clint and Gracie reached for their glasses to join the toast. A flush of satisfaction warmed Josie’s face. Clint took a sip of sparkling cider, but he didn’t meet her eyes. Ever since they’d confided so much to each other at the hospital, he hadn’t been the same. So reserved and withdrawn, so far away... It was as though she couldn’t reach him anymore.

  Oh, why pretend she didn’t understand? No doubt he regretted confiding so much to her. They both needed to take a step back. As much as she’d like to stay here in Camlin, she couldn’t. She had to earn a living and help provide for Gramps. But lately, she’d started looking at her job differently. She thought of all the people she got to help every day. The consultations she had with numerous customers, some of them gravely ill. But each of them had lives of their own. They needed her help. And in distributing their medications, Josie was able to ease their plight, if only a little bit. To help them feel better. To make a difference.

  No longer did she view herself as working behind the scenes. She wasn’t alone. She mingled with dozens of people every day of her life. She’d just never seen it before—the good work she could do for them. The caring and service.

  But leaving Camlin wouldn’t be easy. Not now when she knew what she was giving up. In fact, it’d be the most difficult thing she’d ever done. And lately, she’d been praying for a miracle. A way for her to earn her livelihood as a pharmacist here in Camlin. And the greatest miracle of all...for Clint to love her, too.

  Their meal ended all too soon. Gramps and Gracie retired to the living room. Gramps put on his old cassette of Christmas carols and the music sifted through the air.

  Josie cleared a few perishables away from the table. Clint didn’t speak as he helped her, covering a couple dishes with plastic wrap before stowing them in the refrigerator. They were both somber and overly quiet.

  As she turned toward the doorway, Josie almost tripped over the step stool. What was it doing here? Gramps must have been using it, and forgot to put it away.

  Folding it up, she stowed it in the closet, then stood next to Clint in the doorway. Gramps sat in his recliner beside the Christmas tree, with Gracie in his lap. Wearing expectant grins, they gazed at Josie and Clint.

  Josie angled her head in confusion.

  “What are you two up to?” Clint asked.

  Gramps pointed over their heads. In unison, they looked up. A sprig of mistletoe hung directly above, tied with red, curling ribbon.

  “Now you have to kiss her, Daddy,” Gracie ordered with a laugh.

  Clint stiffened and backed up, his eyes opening wide in surprise. Josie would have moved away, but the door frame jammed against her shoulder blade and she couldn’t get past without brushing against Clint’s broad chest.

  Their gazes clashed, then locked. He dropped his arms to his sides, his lips slightly parted in shock. Currents of energy hummed between them. She could feel it rushing at her like a living being. Her heart gave a maddening thump, and her emotions churned inside her like curdled milk.

  He took a step closer, lifting a hand to gently squeeze her upper arm. In this light, his eyes looked black as olives, and mesmerizing. He lowered his head, his warm breath whispering across her face. Her pulse kicked into triple time and a hungry longing slammed through her.

  He kissed her, a quick, soft caress that ignited a yearning deep within Josie to hold on tight and never let him go. All rational thought evaporated from her mind.

  Clint drew back, looking down into her eyes. Josie felt lost. Felt as though they were the only two people in the world. Then Gracie clapped her hands and Gramps gave a deep laugh of approval.

  Clint jerked back as though he’d been scalded. Hot embarrassmen
t singed Josie’s cheeks and she whirled away.

  “Okay, you’ve had your fun,” she scolded Gramps and Gracie in a gentle tone.

  Clint turned and sat in a chair on the opposite side of the room. Sensing he didn’t want to be near her, Josie took a seat on the edge of the sofa. Gramps reached down and plugged in the tree. White, green, red and gold Christmas lights twinkled. He picked up the Bible and flipped through the pages. With Gracie’s help, he read the nativity scene from the book of Luke. The story of Christ’s birth.

  Listening to his tentative, halting voice as he recounted the story of the three wise men, Josie’s eyes misted with tears. She loved this story, but hearing it in her grandfather’s gruff voice had an extra special meaning this year. Gramps could read. His accomplishment almost overwhelmed her with joy and frustration. If a man his age could learn to read, then why couldn’t she figure out some way to work and live here in Camlin?

  Gramps led them in singing several carols. Josie barely heard the words. She forced herself not to look at Clint. Her stomach churned with nervousness.

  When they were finished, Gracie turned to Gramps. “Now?” she asked.

  He nodded. “Yes, now.”

  Gracie slid off Gramps’s lap. Josie expected the girl to lunge at her own gifts. Instead, she reached for a small wrapped parcel, which she handed to Josie.

  “This is for you. I made it myself. Open it first.”

  The child’s consideration touched Josie’s heart. She loved this girl and couldn’t help thinking how much she’d miss her and Clint once she left town in a few days.

  Gazing down, Josie saw the sides of the wrapping paper were folded over haphazardly and sealed with gobs of tape. A crinkled bow perched on top, affixed with more clumps of tape. Josie laughed, having no doubt Gracie had wrapped it herself. Clint sat on the sofa and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. He tilted his head to one side, twin creases furrowing his high forehead.

  At Josie’s expectant look, he shrugged. “I have no idea what it is.”