Erin's Way

by Laura Browning

  Oh how Stoner wished he could say no, but it wasn’t possible. He nodded reluctantly. Evan stepped out of the room to use his cell phone. Stoner moved to the window and stared out over the winter-brown fields, grateful that Catherine knew him well enough to leave him to his thoughts, uneasy though they might be.

  Evan returned in a few minutes. “Sam didn’t check her suitcase.”

  The instant Stoner met Evan’s gaze, they hurried from the room toward the guesthouse. Stoner prayed this would not be a repeat of her teenage years.

  Damn it,” Evan said. “She’s locked the door, Dad.”

  Stoner dug into his pocket. “Hang on. I’ve got a spare key here. Jesus! She hasn’t even been here a day, and it’s already started.” He unlocked the door and opened it quietly. His eyes spotted the pills almost immediately. Evan examined them.

  “Ecstasy.”

  “What the hell is that?” Stoner demanded.

  “It acts like both an amphetamine and a hallucinogen.”

  “I don’t even want to know how you know these things,” Stoner grimaced.

  Evan arched one thick brow, looking like a younger version of Stoner. “Prosecuting attorney, remember?”

  Stoner raced up the stairs, heart pounding, opened first one bedroom door, then the second, smaller room. She was curled in one of the two twin beds in there, but when the hinge squeaked, she leaped from the bed and backed into the corner before her eyes cleared and she saw it was him.

  “Daddy! What are you doing?” Her chest heaved, but a trace of panic lurked in her eyes.

  Panic that she’d been caught? Stoner grabbed her and shook her. “What did you take, Erin? Damn it! How much?”

  Her eyes were wide and shocked as she glanced from his face to Evan, who now stood behind Stoner.

  “Nothing,” she whispered. “I didn’t take anything.”

  “You’re lying,” Stoner snapped. Concern made him sound harsh and cold, but he couldn’t help it. She was scaring the shit out of him. “We saw the pills scattered on the table downstairs.”

  “But… I didn’t take them,” she protested again. “Please. Daddy, you have to believe me.”

  Stoner shut his eyes, feeling as though his heart was being ripped apart again as he admitted, “I can’t believe you. You’ve never given me any reason to believe you.” He turned to look at Evan. “I want Jenny to look at her.”

  “Dad…” Evan began uncertainly, his gaze shifting to the hurt evident on Erin’s face.

  “I want Jenny to look at her,” Stoner insisted. He remembered a night when she was in high school, when he had given her the benefit of the doubt, and she had nearly died from an overdose. “I’ll stay here. Get Jenny and flush that crap lying on the table.”

  Erin stood like a statue in the corner of the room, her eyes huge in her pale face. Stoner’s heart ached. When he reached toward her again, she flinched, throwing her hands out to ward him off. “Don’t touch me.”

  Her nostrils flared and her eyes glittered before she turned her face away from him, pressing her palms against the wall behind her. Stoner raked his trembling fingers through his hair. He had forgotten how many nights he had lain awake, worried sick about her. Now, she no sooner came back than it started all over again.

  Jenny came into the room, took one look at Stoner and Erin’s stiff postures, and ordered him out of the room. When he started to protest, she glared at him. “I am doing this only because you’re her father, but she’s an adult, Stoner. You will not stay in here while I examine her, not even while I talk to her.”

  * * * *

  From the corner of her eye, Erin saw the door shut behind Stoner and Evan.

  “Can I get you a glass of water?” Jenny asked.

  Erin sucked a breath into a throat so tight it hurt. She shook her head and whispered, “I shouldn’t have come back. I keep saying that. Maybe I’ll eventually learn my lesson and leave once and for all.” She cast her hand around the room. “The guesthouse is where they’ve put me. Not their home. I’m a guest, not one of them.”

  Erin blinked a couple of times as she absorbed the hurt and let it pass on through. All she had ever wanted from them was their love, their understanding, but how could they understand? Some of the fault lay squarely at her door. She could acknowledge that now, as an adult. She’d kept the real issues hidden, and done a damn fine job of it.

  Jenny sighed, drawing her out of her introspection. Her sister-in-law sat on the edge of one of the twin beds. “It took me a long time to understand your father, Erin. A long time to forgive him. He is a man of very intense, deeply felt emotions.”

  Erin laughed bitterly. “As deep as a chest freezer.”

  Jenny shook her head. “I can’t help you two with those issues, but I can deal with some of yours. Did you take any of the MDMA?”

  “No. I thought about it, pretty seriously.” Something about Jenny gave Erin complete confidence that Jenny would not doubt her. “My boss, Rick, never had a problem with us being a little loose, but I don’t want to keep doing that.”

  “When’s the last time you used anything?”

  “I smoked part of a joint last night right after I landed in Sam’s pasture with my rental car.”

  “Nothing since then? No alcohol, cold medicine, anything?”

  “Nothing.” Erin met her gaze without flinching. Jenny didn’t need to know the mental battle Erin had fought to leave the pills untouched.

  “May I examine you?”

  Erin nodded and submitted to having her pulse, respiration, pupil response, and reflexes tested. When Jenny asked to see the contents of her purse, Erin dumped them out along with her duffel bag. Jenny flicked open the birth control pills and looked at Erin.

  “This is fine for pregnancy prevention, but you should use condoms to protect against disease.”

  Erin snorted. “It’s not an issue. I take them for severe cramps.”

  “But you make your partners use condoms?” Jenny’s concern was evident.

  Erin raised her brows and said again, more slowly, “It’s not an issue. It’s never been an issue. You’re a doctor. Do I need to be clearer than that?”

  “But…?” Jenny shook her head. “Are you telling me you’re a virgin?”

  Erin laughed bitterly. “What? I’m sure my family led you to believe I’d spread my legs for anyone and everyone, right? Just because…” Erin paused, grinding her teeth in frustration. “You know, never mind. It doesn’t matter anymore. I’m almost twenty-seven. They won’t change what they think, and I can’t make them. Just…just tell my dad the truth, please. I’m not on anything. I’m exhausted. Last night was the first night in three days I’ve had any sleep… And I didn’t sleep well.”

  “Why the MDMA downstairs then?” Jenny probed, her tawny eyes intent.

  “I thought about it,” Erin whispered. “But then I remembered Sam going through my stuff. I didn’t want to disappoint him. What a joke, huh? I’ve always been a disappointment to all of them. I’m not an addict. I need a break sometimes from my own head.” She turned away. “Leave me alone, Jenny. Make Daddy leave me alone. I want to sleep right now.”

  “All right.”

  With a nod, Jenny stood and opened the door. When it had shut behind her, Erin slid down the wall and curled up on the floor in the corner of the room. Her lip trembled, but she refused to shed a tear. Why she had expected things to be different this time, she had no idea. It was another way of setting herself up for disappointment, and there were more than enough of those already.

  She had come back because she feared for her life, and in some corner of her mind, she supposed she still associated home and safety with her parents. Or maybe she wished it were so. Erin rubbed her eyes. She was rubbing away the scratchiness from lack of sleep. Yeah.

  Chapter 3

  Sam couldn’t shake the unhappy feeling hounding him as he pounded new fence posts into the soil and hammered up fresh boards. Evan�
�s call to find out if Sam had searched Erin’s duffel bag nagged at him. Had she taken something? He fought the urge to rush over there. She wasn’t his concern. Stoner had made that plain more than a decade ago. Sam wanted to shake some sense into Erin at the same time he wanted to protect her from whatever hell Stoner was no doubt giving her. And the fact he couldn’t get her off his mind bothered him. He swung the hammer even harder as he secured another board in place.

  By the time his cell phone rang early in the afternoon, Sam had worked off most of his concerns. Then he saw it was the Richardson’s number and his gut twisted as he answered.

  “This is Sam.”

  “Oh, Sam. I’m so glad I caught you. It’s Catherine.” Relief surged through him. She sounded perfectly normal. Everything must be fine. “Tabby and Joseph will be here for dinner this evening along with Evan and Jenny. I thought I would invite you as a way to say thank you for giving Erin a job.”

  “I don’t want to intrude on a family dinner.” It was a convenient excuse, because somehow Sam had the feeling the reason behind the invitation was far from a simple thank you.

  “Nonsense. We’re all very fond of you.”

  Sam grinned. That was doubtful, especially when it came to Erin and Stoner. In fact, he had a hard time picturing either one of them looking at him with gratitude about anything. “You need me to even out the numbers, right?”

  Sam knew there was more to it than that, but it would give Catherine a convenient reason without having to admit Sam would provide a buffer between Erin and her family.

  “Well…partly.”

  He laughed, letting her off the hook. Besides, it would give him a chance to check on Erin. “I’ll come. Your cook beats my cooking any time. I figure you’ll tell me eventually why I’m really invited.”

  After sliding his phone back in its clip, he returned to the job of fixing his fence. It was hard sometimes not to envy the Stoner Richardsons of the world. He had plenty of money to hire a crew to fix something like this. But Sam’s family had always been the poor neighbors.

  Years ago, he’d resented that difference much more, but now, seeing everything that had happened with Stoner’s family and his political career, Sam’s envy had mellowed. Senator Richardson had certainly tumbled from the mountain top, opting out of a political career rather than facing exposure for some of his past misdeeds. Then there’d been the whole fiasco with Jenny and Evan’s relationship. Stoner’s interference there had split the two apart for more than a dozen years.

  Sam shook his head. No. He no longer envied Stoner Richardson. Most of the time, except when he considered what having the kind of money the Richardsons had would allow him to provide for a family. He could update his farmhouse, maybe install an updated kitchen where someone who really enjoyed cooking would feel at home. Sam nearly smacked his thumb with the hammer. With a shake of his head, he returned to the backbreaking work of rebuilding his fence.

  He knew some of his neighbors laughed at him for the wood fences when woven wire would have been a hell of a lot cheaper. When it came right down to it, though, he’d rather be hefting boards and pounding nails than trying to stretch wire in cold weather. He glanced along the road, eyes narrowing, at the neat line of fence that fronted not only Richardson Homestead, but his farm too. And there was the whole issue of appearances. Having Richardson Homestead as a neighbor wasn’t easy, in more ways than one.

  At six that evening, he knocked at the door, tired but dutifully on time as he’d promised. Peterson was there to let him in, looking every inch the British butler he was. Sam nodded to him, then looked past him to Stoner, who stood in the doorway to his study.

  “Sam, come on in.” Although his welcome was friendly enough, Stoner was tense. When Sam entered the study, he discovered why. Everyone was there except Erin. No doubt waiting to make an entrance. Creating dissension came as second nature to her.

  Never one to ignore the obvious, Sam asked, “Where’s Erin?”

  “Just a little late, I’m sure.” Catherine’s smile was just a bit tremulous.

  Sam studied all of them. Stoner, Catherine, and Evan looked ready to chew nails. Jenny, Tabby, and Joseph were calm, but then they didn’t know her. Sam wouldn’t put it past Erin to walk in wearing nothing but her diamond belly button stud. Never had he met anyone quite so able to throw things into complete chaos.

  “I’ll get her,” he stated to Catherine and Stoner, totally unsurprised when they made no protest.

  No lights shone in the guesthouse. When he knocked and got no answer, Sam’s first thought was she had bolted again, and that was quickly followed by the thought she had found more drugs and was high as a kite. He tried the door and found it unlocked.

  “Erin!” he called as he opened the door and stepped inside.

  “Here.” She stood near the rear window that overlooked the pool, her profile only dimly outlined from what remained of the waning light. Sam turned on the lamp next to the couch, half expecting her to be in a micro mini skirt and a halter top. She turned toward him, wearing a simple black jersey dress with high-heeled pumps that gave her some added height and did great things for her long bare legs.

  “Everyone’s waiting on you,” Sam stated.

  “I can’t…” she began, swallowed, and started again, “No one wants…”

  “To miss dinner,” Sam interrupted. He stifled the urge to rub the tightness in his chest as he noticed the haunted look that had entered her eyes again. Wanting to erase it, he continued, “And as usual, you wait to make a big entrance.”

  Her chin lifted and she straightened to her full, if meager, height. “Shut up, Sam.”

  He held her coat for her and smiled behind her as he slipped it over her narrow shoulders. He would much rather have her angry than blue. As soon as they entered the house from the den, Sam took her coat and tossed it carelessly across the back of a chair. His hand rested lightly between her shoulder blades as he guided her into the study. She trembled, and for an instant he could see why. With the exception of Jenny, they were all tall and regal looking, but even Jenny had a presence that intimidated.

  Neither Peter nor Melody, Joe and Tabby’s adopted daughter, were there. Sam’s mouth tightened. So, not a family night. Adults only probably meant a lot more serious discussion. Sam began to wonder if his presence was motivated by more than a desire to even out the numbers. He restrained the urge to wrap his arm tightly around Erin, an action that would make neither Erin nor Stoner happy. Joseph and Tabby were the first to smile and approach them. Was it his imagination, or did Erin shrink even closer toward him.

  “Erin?” Tabby murmured gently, “I’m so happy to see you. This is Joseph, my husband.”

  She looked at both of them, Tabby with her black hair and golden eyes, and Joseph with his blond hair and warm blue eyes. Erin held out her hand to Joseph who smiled warmly and clasped it between his own.

  “Tabby has so looked forward to this,” he spoke in a melodic voice that made Erin’s eyes widen. Her trembling all but disappeared.

  “Sam,” Joseph greeted him. “Good to see you again. I’m sorry we didn’t say hello when you first came in.”

  Tabby and Erin stared at one another. Although Erin was older by three years, it was Tabby who appeared more polished and self-assured, an assessment that would surely amuse Tabby if she heard it. Sam knew enough of Tabby’s background to know her upbringing had been anything but sophisticated. Logically, Erin, with her exposure to living in the nation’s capital, should be the more socially aware. Tabby touched Erin’s arm gently. “Please tell me about yourself. It feels so strange suddenly to have developed such a large family.”

  Erin looked around the room. Sam followed her gaze, trying to see it through her eyes, and realized that the dysfunctional family in which she had grown up had indeed changed. Her father had his arm draped around her mother’s shoulders, Jenny was tucked firmly against Evan, and they all talked and smiled. When she looked back at T
abby again with wide eyes, Sam felt her shrink toward his side even more. “Wh-what have you done to them? What are you?” Erin whispered.

  Sam’s head jerked toward Erin in shock. What in the blue blazes? Before he could call her on being so rude, Tabby responded.

  “I’m your sister.” Her brow wrinkled with concern more than surprise at Erin’s reaction. “And I’m hoping you’ll accept me like Evan and Jenny have.”

  Erin was pressed so hard against Sam’s side, he was certain the seam of her dress had left an imprint on him.

  “Erin!” Sam growled, worrying that she was about ready to bolt.

  “I don’t want to pressure you,” Tabby tried to reassure her. “I grew up as an only child. I used to dream of having brothers and sisters. I have Evan and Jenny, and now you, if you’ll let me. I’d like that.” Tabby held out her hand. “Please.”

  There was a tense moment in which Sam felt the entire room hold its breath. Sam held his breath too, for the instant it took Erin to set her hand, with its finely trembling fingers, into Tabby’s. The infinitesimal pause in the conversation on the other side of the room disappeared, and Stoner laughed at something Jenny related about Peter. If there was an edge of relief in that laughter, no one commented on it.

  Sam felt some of Erin’s tension dissipate, but not all of it. Something was definitely worrying her, but it would take a lot to get her to admit that. He’d have to work on that. Whatever was on her mind had to be the reason she had returned.

  Dinner went well. Erin watched Sam, Joseph, and Tabby all refuse wine with their meal; then she did too. She was so afraid of making any kind of a wrong move, it made Sam’s heart ache.

  After dinner, the conversation turned to colleges. Erin’s expression closed right up. As everyone related their experiences, her discomfort was palpable, at least to Sam. Probably to Tabby too, as tuned in as she always seemed to be to everyone’s feelings.

  Joe, wanting to include Erin in the conversation, innocently asked, “What about you, Erin?”