Erin's Way

by Laura Browning

  “Erin dropped out,” Stoner commented before Erin could say anything. Sam cringed. Stoner had done exactly the wrong thing.

  “I may be the stupid one in this family, Daddy,” Erin snapped, “but I can manage to explain that on my own.”

  “Erin…” Stoner began, but she jumped to her feet and stalked out of the room. She’d had enough. Stoner pursued her, with Jenny and Tabby not far behind. Sam raked his fingers over the top of his head. Yeah, call him chicken, but he was going to stay out of this one for now.

  * * * *

  Erin had nearly reached the door when her father’s voice stopped her. “Was it really necessary to make such a scene?”

  She spun on him, temper flaring. “Was it necessary to announce to everyone that I ‘dropped out’ in that offended paternal tone?”

  Stoner glared at her. “It is offensive, Erin. You could have been anything! You’re beautiful and smart, but you chose—you chose not to concentrate on your education.”

  “You’re wrong, Daddy. You are so, so wrong. I was stupid then and I am now. Do you think I want jobs like I’ve had? A nanny, a cook, a lifeguard—a topless bar hostess, for God’s sake! But it’s always been much easier to blame that on laziness than face the reality that I just wasn’t there when intelligence was doled out to the almighty Richardson bloodline.”

  Erin slammed the door behind her as she raced across the terrace to the guesthouse. She wanted a drink. She was tired of trying to play nice and fit in. Damn them all, and damn her for thinking she could come back, could make anyone change their opinion of her. There must be something to drink around the guesthouse.

  She found the bar in the corner of the great room and quickly splashed two fingers of bourbon into a glass. She tossed it back in silent toast to Evan and Stoner who both enjoyed a shot of fine bourbon. She poured another one and had it halfway to her mouth when she heard the knock on the door.

  “Leave me alone!” she snarled, her hand clenched around the glass, certain it had to be her father. Why couldn’t he give it up?

  “Open the door, Erin,” Tabby said quietly. “It’s Jenny and me.”

  It took Erin only a heartbeat to consider before she snatched the door open and spun back into the room, with the bourbon still in hand. She toasted them with it.

  “Are we having a little girl to girl talk? I don’t do too well at those. I always got along with guys much better. What do you want to know? How I graduated at the bottom of my high school class, but thanks to Daddy’s influence managed to get accepted at a small college? How I dropped out of college before I could get kicked out because my grades sucked?”

  Jenny gently removed the glass of bourbon from her hand, and led her to the couch. Erin shook with nerves. She didn’t want to do this, didn’t want to stay here. All she wanted was a chance to lie low for a while.

  “Honey,” Jenny prompted gently. “What is it? Every time I see you, you look ready to shatter into a million pieces. Don’t lock it inside. Don’t do what Stoner did. Don’t wait until it’s too late.”

  Everything inside Erin stilled. “Is something wrong with Daddy?” She choked the question out, her guard dropping as she had to ask, “Is he sick?”

  Jenny looked at her strangely. “Erin, Stoner is serving two years house arrest on conspiracy charges. He pleaded guilty. You didn’t know?”

  Erin stiffened and flushed. How humiliating not to know something that had probably been all over the press, but then she had avoided reading anything about her family as much as she could. “No.”

  “Sometimes,” Tabby said softly, “burdens are easier to carry when they’re shared. Jenny and I both want to help. We wouldn’t tell anyone else what we discuss here.”

  Erin glared at Tabby. “I’m supposed to open up to two people who are practically strangers?”

  Tabby ignored Erin’s rudeness, sitting on the edge of one of the overstuffed chairs. “Only if you want to. We both want to help, Erin. You’re family.”

  Erin curled in a chair as far away from Tabby as possible. Her younger sister spooked her. She was as serene as a damn Buddha. “Couldn’t we learn about each other in the regular way?”

  Jenny flopped on the couch. “You mean we head to Roanoke for a shopping spree, gorge on fattening food, and ask each other questions over iced coffees? It might be a little late today for that. How about we take turns asking questions, and we have to answer?”

  Erin snickered, as she eyed the two women who could have stepped from the pages of Southern Living. “You mean like Truth or Dare?”

  Tabby laughed. “I played that in my dorm one time, but since I never wanted to answer any questions, I was always taking dares.”

  Erin grinned. It was hard to imagine that the perfect Tabby had things she didn’t want to talk about. “Me too.”

  Jenny laughed. “I played with Evan in high school, but I always chose dare because all he wanted to do was kiss…and stuff.”

  “TMI. Certain things I just don’t need to know about my brother,” Erin said with a laugh. Amazingly, she found herself relaxing. She’d never had a lot of girlfriends. Matty and Stan were the closest things, but femme gay guys probably didn’t count. Her thoughts clouded. She missed her crew mates. She hoped they were all right.

  “You looked sad all of a sudden,” Tabby observed. “Did you leave a boyfriend behind in the Virgin Islands?”

  Erin tilted her head. “Boys and friends, but not boyfriends.” She bit her lip. “I had a dream last night they were in trouble.”

  “Is there some reason to think they might be?” Jenny asked.

  Erin smiled evasively. “That’s not fair. I’ve already answered one question. Now I get a turn.” She looked at Tabby. “Truth or dare?”

  “Truth.”

  “How did you find out about Jenny?”

  Tabby’s smile was sad. “Mama was dying from cancer before she finally told me. Even if she’d told me earlier, though, I couldn’t have left her.” Tabby shook her head as if to clear it and looked at Jenny. “Truth or dare?”

  “Truth. I only take dares if Evan’s here.”

  “Is Evan going to run for another term as Commonwealth Attorney or is he going after a judgeship?”

  Jenny wrinkled her nose. “He swore me to secrecy, so you can’t say anything to him. He’s running for another term.”

  Tabby smiled. “That’s a relief. I was afraid if he pursued a judge’s position you would move away.”

  Jenny grinned and looked at Tabby wickedly. “My turn. Were you and Joe virgins on your wedding night?”

  Tabby blushed scarlet. “That’s not fair, Jenny. You know Joe had to tell you that when you ordered my X-rays.”

  “Just answer the question unless you want a dare. We swore it won’t leave this room.”

  “Almost.”

  Erin laughed. “What does that mean?”

  Tabby giggled. “Well, we’d checked once before the accident to make sure everything worked, but then Stoner would hardly leave us alone together.”

  All three women burst out laughing. Erin felt herself blush and turned to look out the window, but not before she was sure Tabby had noticed.

  Tabby sobered up first and looked at Erin intently. “My turn. I’m sorry, but I couldn’t help overhearing you with Daddy. Why… Why do you think you’re stupid, Erin?”

  Erin’s mouth twisted. “I was never any success in school. I was great at math, but nothing else. Mama and Daddy were always so busy, and I got bounced around from school to school more than Evan did, so that everyone seemed to think I was lazy, but I couldn’t learn. I tried.”

  She looked at the two women and swallowed. “You can’t tell them. You have to swear. You have no idea what it’s like to be surrounded by people who are so brilliant. No one around here knows about this.”

  Erin closed her mouth. She hadn’t wanted to share that. It had just happened. Why wouldn’t Tabby and Jenny leave her alone the wa
y everyone else did?

  “Don’t,” Tabby whispered. “Don’t shut down on us again, Erin. I’m so glad you’re here, and we just want to help.”

  “They don’t want me around,” Erin spat. “You can see it in their faces. Daddy didn’t even want me here last night. He practically begged Sam to let me stay there so he wouldn’t have to bring me home.”

  She prowled the room again, feeling like an animal in a cage. Erin jumped at the knock on the door. She wrenched it open and stared at Sam’s big frame filling the opening.

  “I need to get home, bed animals down for the night,” he rumbled. His gaze shifted from her to Tabby and Jenny before settling once more on Erin. “Just wanted to check to make sure you’re okay.”

  She nodded and swallowed, drinking in his dark eyes and serious expression, wanting so desperately to stay with him, stay anywhere but Richardson Homestead. He had always been a refuge, someone who made her feel safe, and if not wanted, at least tolerated. “Please, Sam,” she pleaded quietly. “I don’t want to stay here. I won’t be any bother. You wouldn’t even know I was there….”

  Sam shook his head. “No, Erin. It wouldn’t work. I’ll see you tomorrow morning, okay?”

  She froze, feeling like she’d been slapped down yet again. “Yeah. I’ll be there, Sheriff. Good night.” She shut the door in his face. Tabby and Jenny were watching her. Her stomach knotted. “I think I’ve had as much family as I can handle for one night.”

  Tabby stood. “You need some time. Remember, Erin… We’re here if you want to talk.”

  As Jenny and Tabby halted at the door, Erin knew she couldn’t let them leave without saying something, but it was so hard to open up to anyone. She reached out awkwardly and hugged first Jenny, then Tabby. “Thanks. I know you’re trying to help.”

  * * * *

  When Sam entered the barn the next morning, the last thing he expected was that Erin would be there. He figured he would get one day out of her and that would be it. But as he looked around, the radio was playing in the background, and the horses were already munching hay while Erin leaned against a stall doorway with a hose in hand filling water buckets. He paused in mid-stride. She was here. He took his cap off and scratched his head.

  “Good morning. I didn’t see your vehicle anywhere. Did you get a ride?”

  “I walked.” She turned off the water, rolled the hose, and entered the feed room to carefully measure grain. He was impressed that she remembered exactly what each horse ate. “If you’ll tell me which ones we’ll ride this morning, I’ll knock them off and tack them up.”

  He told her, and they worked together as the news played in the background. While he picked up eggs from the hens, she brushed the two mares. Sam listened to her talk nonsense to them. From a spot where he knew he would be unobserved, he studied her for a moment. She looked relaxed, the tension gone from her face and a bloom to her cheeks. Erin had always been gorgeous. Fourteen or twenty-six, it didn’t matter. She still had a powerful, elemental impact on him, and it still made him uncomfortable. He didn’t want to be attracted to her—but he was.

  He’d already been an adult when she was just a kid. While he still had all his hair, he was getting a few gray strands around the temples. She needed someone closer to her age. Whoa, man. What was he thinking? As screwed up as she was, Erin didn’t need a complication of any age in her life. And he had the feeling that as fragile as she seemed right now, a man—any man—would be more than she could handle.

  When she stood practically on tip-toe trying to adequately tighten the cinch, Sam walked over and reached around her to easily pull it up another two holes. She stilled instantly, trapped as she was between his arms and the horse. She turned, bringing their bodies into almost perfect alignment.

  Sam was only inches away from eyes that had suddenly gone dark and vulnerable. As he searched her face, her lips parted and her gloved hands trembled against the front of his coveralls. The desire to kiss her poured through every part of him. Her mouth looked soft and sweet. Instantly, his imagination thrust an image of her melting against him, her mouth opening beneath his. Sam leaned toward her. The mare shifted behind them and bumped Erin against him. He caught her, then instantly backed up to put distance between them. The moment was lost.

  Her chin jutted. “Sorry. I’ll go get her bridle.” She ducked around him hastily. Sam watched her go, his gaze glued to her bottom, shapely even in the old coveralls he’d loaned her. He sighed. What the hell had he been thinking asking her to work for him? She was ten tons of trouble in a teeny tiny package. He’d been around plenty of women who would have been more than willing to jump if he’d just given them a nod, but Erin was different. When it came to her, he had no self-control.

  A few minutes later, when he started to boost her into the saddle, she glared at him and vaulted onto her mare without help. Sam put his foot in the stirrup and swung up on his own horse. She wanted distance. Perfect. He’d play it casual.

  “Let’s go. You’ll need to drive the truck out in the morning with feed and hay, but I like to ride the whole property as much as possible to check the areas not accessible by truck. The round bales will suit the cows closer in just fine.”

  He outlined how much food to put out as well as how many head were in each pasture. The cows ready to calve had been moved into a smaller pasture with easier access from the house.

  “For the most part, they can take care of things themselves, Erin, but keep an eye out for a cow having trouble. If you spot one off by herself, check her posture. She might have her back arched or her tail raised. Once you see the water bag appear, give her about an hour, then check to see if she needs help. You know what a normal presentation looks like?”

  Erin nodded. “Head first tucked between the front feet.”

  Sam smiled. “Yep. You see anything other than that, you call me. If you can’t get me, call Carter or your daddy. I try to keep calls to Bill Mitchell—the vet, you remember him—to a minimum. He’s busy enough as it is. It’s a lot to remember. You want me to write it down?”

  Erin stiffened, instantly on the defensive. “No. I can remember it.” And she proceeded to recite everything he’d told her back to him, including the feed amounts and livestock numbers.

  He laughed. “That’s pretty impressive.”

  “I have an excellent memory for numbers,” she mumbled, not looking at him.

  As far as he could tell, she seemed to have a good memory for almost everything. He turned his mare. “Let’s get breakfast. We’ll use the truck to feed after we eat. You wanna eat at the truck stop or go to Mercer’s?”

  “I could cook,” she offered. “Don’t you go to church?”

  “Well yeah, but not every Sunday.” Sam looked at her. He didn’t know too many people who’d offer to cook over going out to eat. “If you really don’t mind cooking, then let’s feed first and we’ll be done. I can get cleaned up while you cook. Uh… You could come with me…to church, I mean. I could run you by the guesthouse and wait for you to get ready.”

  Erin’s eyes widened. For a second he thought he saw fear, but it vanished, replaced with a wary humor. “I don’t think I’m ready for that, Sam. I’d kind of like to keep a low profile. Could… Could I stay here while you’re gone?”

  “Trying to avoid your parents?”

  She nodded. Sam sighed. He was setting a dangerous precedent, but it was hard to refuse her anything. “Yeah, but don’t make it a habit.”

  Erin working was one thing. Even taking her to church would be all right—public as that was, but Erin hanging around on a social footing was too much for him to handle. Every time he touched her, it was like holding his fingers to a flame. Sure he knew it was going to burn him, but it was so mesmerizing.

  They rode out in the truck to spread more hay in the pastures that needed it. It was hard work, but Erin quickly found her rhythm, surprising Sam yet again with how hard she worked and how much she could do, given her small
size. She didn’t slack, and didn’t complain. In fact, she didn’t at all fit his preconceived ideas about her. She wasn’t the screw up she always appeared to be, and he wondered if it was something she perpetuated, or just an image everyone had gained over the years. Where most of the help he’d hired had needed everything written and repeated for them, she remembered everything he told her is if she were a sponge.

  Her cooking was another surprise. The eggs were fried to perfection, the bacon was crisped just the way he liked it, and she’d even made some of those hash browns with the peppers and onions. He studied her surreptitiously while they ate. She didn’t eat much—an egg and some toast. He started to say something and stopped. He was afraid to spoil the tenuous peace between them.

  Picking up their plates, he began to clear the table, but she protested. “I can do it. You don’t need to help.”

  He stopped her with a touch to her wrist. “I know you can do it, Erin. I want to help.”

  Her eyes widened in surprise. “Oh. Okay.”

  After they finished cleaning up, Sam sat back in his chair to finish his coffee and studied her bent head. She pored over the Sunday comics with her brow furrowed, as serious as an archaeologist deciphering ancient hieroglyphics.

  “Most people find them funny, Erin,” he teased, “not something to frown at.”

  She jerked in surprise and blushed, and he realized she had forgotten his presence for a moment as she concentrated on the comics. His eyes flickered to the paper and back to her thoughtfully. Erin leaped to her feet, shoved the paper at him, and snatched her empty coffee cup.

  “They’re stupid anyway!” she burst out, as she ran water, quickly washed the cup, and set it in the dish drain to dry. “Aren’t you going to be late? Does Joe give you detention?”

  “You could always come and find out.” He eyed the stiff set of her shoulders, wondering what had just happened.

  “No, I’ll just hang out here.”

  He nodded, picked up his suit coat, and was gone.

  * * * *

  Erin stared at the newspaper in frustration. She’d had to leave her laptop behind with all its software. All the blood left her head, leaving her dizzy for a moment. Her laptop—with her address book. Oh God! Her parents’ address, Evan’s… They were all there. She had password protected everything, but someone determined could get the information. Erin paced the floor. She would have to tell someone. She never meant to put anyone in danger. She’d tell Sam when he got back. He’d know what to do.