Divided

by Kaesey Stobaugh

My thoughts go straight to Gabby and Cinda. If I’m caught, they’ll be killed. But if I don't come home tonight, they may not know the difference. They're usually asleep when I come home and I leave before they wake up.

  "I can get you out tomorrow morning though." She assures me, I think she can tell my mind has drifted. The last thing I want is to stay overnight.

  Why did I do this? I knew this was a bad idea. I should've trusted my instincts. This is the last time I ever put my family's life in somebody else’s hands. What really gets me is that the guys are most likely home by now, not worrying or caring about where I am. But here's this girl, who really seems to care about my safety for reasons I don't understand. She is my best bet at this point.

  I look her in the eye, after my mind is made up. I whisper to her with edge, "If I stay...you won't tell them where I am?"

  She tilts her head curiously as she replies, "If I had any intentions of doing that, you'd be dead by now." She gives me a smart smile as she turns her head. I can't help but grin and chuckle a little at her attitude. It reminds me of Cinda’s.

  Suddenly she turns my way, grabs me by the arm and drags me back around the house. Her grip on my arm surprises me and as I jerk myself out of her lock, she looks behind me with fear. I turn around to see why she's acting so strange. There’s soldiers coming this way

  "Hurry! Behind the bushes over there!" She orders as she runs towards the soldiers headed our way.

  I waste no time ducking behind the bushes and trees. It's times like this that I'm glad I have experience hunting in the woods. I know exactly what to do to stay out of sight. I push myself under the roots of the bushes, where it looks like it's been trimmed just right to stay off the ground. I get in the perfect position so I can stay hidden but still have vision of what's coming in front of me. I then push myself a little further up. Perfect, now I have vision of Willa as well.

  I see her run to the soldiers and start to speak. I can't understand what she's saying but I can tell by her arm movements that she's making up a story. I also notice that she never once looks back at me. She's good at not making it obvious that she's not here alone. I then see a woman run to her from the house, grab her by the arm and hug her. It's then that Willa looks back to me, but I know she can't see me. The woman releases her and speaks to her harshly as she takes her inside. She thanks the soldiers before they are around the corner and out of sight. Now I'm nervous. I can't see Willa anymore. Surely she’ll come back out for me, right? I stay perfectly still for some time.

  After more than an hour, my thoughts escape me as my mind starts spilling out all the worst case scenarios. I feel my heart beat faster and faster. In an instant, my breathing level goes crazy heavy. I'm feeling trapped again. My legs start squirming. I feel sweaty and it’s like I can't breathe. I know I'm panicking now. I need to pull it together. I'm making too much noise. In my effort to relax I only panic more. It feels so hot now. I look up at the branches of the brushes above me. Why are they moving? It looks like they’re closing in on me. Then I feel the ground under me, wiggle and squirm, like I'm lying on bugs or worms. I have no control over my actions and thoughts at this point. This is torture. I'd rather turn myself in then lay here another second. Just as I think I can't take it anymore, I hear what sounds like a door open and shut again quickly. I turn my head just a little to see Willa rush out and start searching frantic.

  At the sight of her, my heart slows down and I take a deep breath. I’m okay now. I think to myself. She came back.

  Chapter Eight

  Willamina

  I run to the guards that are coming this way. They’re probably looking for any clues as to where I’ve gone. They stop short as soon as they see me; I almost smile at their obvious surprise.

  “I’m okay! No need to worry!” I say shrilly. I know I sound a bit off so I tell myself to calm down.

  One of the guards starts stammering something but the other one gets his wits about him first.

  “And…where were you exactly?” He asks me. Am I imagining that he sounds suspicious?

  I prepare my story in my head. I know it sounds silly, but I’m hoping to use the fact that I’m a young emotional female to my benefit. “Well, I was in bed early this morning, sound asleep, when I was woke up by some kind of noise. When I listened for it again I realized it was meowing! It sounded like a very young kitten and I couldn’t just leave it out there all alone! So, I decided to go outside and try to catch it, but it was very fast and I had to chase it all around the garden...”

  “So,” He cuts me off abruptly, mostly because he doesn’t really care about the escapades of my imaginary kitten. “You’re telling me you left to chase a kitten?”

  I attempt to look ashamed. “Yes, sir.” I hang my head.

  He sighs. “Very well, then. As long as you’re here and unharmed.”

  Just then my mother comes bustling through the French doors looking absolutely frantic. She scoops me up in her arms and hugs me tight.

  “Don’t worry, Mother. I’m fine, I’m alright.” I say gently, trying to sooth her.

  “Where were you?” She admonishes me harshly, but I can tell she’s trying not to cry.

  “It’s nothing to worry about. I was just trying to find a kitten.” She starts to usher me inside. My first instinct is to pull back; I can’t leave Nate! But I quickly realize that I have to leave if I don’t want to give him away. I turn to thank the guards in an effort at normality. Everything looks different to me now. Strange how in just a few short minutes and after an unlikely conversation, my whole world feels foreign and unknown to me.

  “I thought you had been kidnapped by Workers!” My mother continues. “But no! You had to go chase a kitten? Without even a thought to your poor mother? What did you expect to happen when Raya went to wake you, but found your bed empty? Hm?”

  “I didn’t really think about it.” I admit guiltily.

  “You didn’t think about it! Do you realize how worried I was?”

  It was over an hour later and I hadn’t been back to see Nate yet. My family was all over me. Mother wouldn’t stop lecturing me about the foolishness of my decision with Father gently reinforcing what Mother was saying. But it was Georgie who made me nervous. She was convinced that I was actually on some top secret adventure that I couldn’t tell her about. Even though her wild guesses were just the imagination of a little girl, I couldn’t help but hold my breath as she came up with each new theory. Obviously, my parents didn’t put any stock in any of these notions, but still, I worried. But finally, they disperse to do their own activities and I’m free. Immediately, I run out into the garden and start scanning the bushes where I told him to hide. For a second, I panic. What if he got tired of waiting and decided to try his luck getting out on his own. But then I see his dark head pop out from a bush and I’m instantly relaxed.

  “Come on, to the shed, quickly!” And we both sprint to the shed before we can be seen. We zoom through the door and close it swiftly. Both of us look at each other, slightly out of breath and almost smiling. The fact that we haven’t been caught yet is amazing to me and I think he’s feeling that as well. I have the strangest sensation of being partners in crime, and it’s almost nice.

  “I can’t stay here long or they’ll come and find me again.” I explain to him.

  “I understand.” He hesitates. “Thanks for coming back.”

  I give him a small smile. He doesn’t trust me, but he’s grateful for what I’m doing for him.

  “That lady, she was your mother?” he asks.

  I nod. “She’s very protective.”

  “You’re lucky.” He remarks, but I don’t press him. I can tell he doesn’t really want to talk about himself anymore.

  “So, I think you should just stay here for today. The gardeners don’t come till tomorrow so no one should come in here, and I’ll come back for you tonight and we can smuggle you out.”

  He raises his eyebrow again, this time in surprise. “We?”

 
; “Well, yeah. I figured since you don’t really know your way around town, or how your friends were going to get out, I might be of some help to you.”

  “But…” He thinks about it for a while and then I see something occur to him that he obviously hasn’t thought of till now. “Won’t you get in trouble too if we’re caught?”

  I nod again. “I won’t be killed or anything, but…” I trail off. I’m not sure what would happen to me if I was caught, but it won’t be anything good.

  “Then why do it if it puts you at risk?” I can hear the distrust in his tone.

  “Like I already said, you’re just as important as I am. I’m going to help you, Nate.” I let this new determination take over and stand up as tall as I can, looking him straight in the eye.

  He seems a little impressed. “Okay.” He agrees.

  We stand there awkwardly for a while, looking anywhere but at each other. Finally, I break the silence. “I better get going; they’ll start looking for me soon.”

  “Yeah, right. Good thinking.” I can see he’s grateful for the conversation, maybe even for my leaving. I retreat hastily.

  Back in the house, I try to socialize with my family, but my mind keeps wandering to the boy hiding in the shed. I don’t want them to think anything’s wrong, so I retreat to my room where I pretend to read. Really, I’m sitting on the built in reading nook in my bay window. It has a perfect view of the garden and I can see the shed in the distance. Occasionally, I wonder what on earth I’m doing. Am I crazy? I’m hiding a criminal Worker in my shed! This is ridiculous. If we’re caught, my father could lose his job. But surely they wouldn’t harm us, would they? Would they lock me away? Exile my family? Is it really worth it? I didn’t really know, but I had made my decision and I couldn’t go back on it now. I told Nate I would help him and he already doesn’t really trust me. If I change my mind now, he’d never forgive me. That shouldn’t matter to me, but for reasons I’m not sure of, it does. I want him to trust me.

  The seconds pass like minutes, the minutes like hours, and here I sit staring out my window towards the shed. I’ve got my book in my hand, but that’s just for show in case anyone comes in. It’s not sunny like it was this morning. Clouds have taken over the sky, but the rain will not pour down as it so clearly needs to.

  Raya comes to get me at around five for dinner, but I tell her that my stomach doesn’t feel quite well, so I’ll just skip dinner and stay in my room tonight. Raya soon comes back with a tray of assorted snacks.

  “In case you find your appetite.” She says kindly. I give her a friendly smile to show her how much she’s appreciated.

  Alone again, I marvel that I’ve spent the entire day sitting here all alone. It’s funny, while the time was passing it seemed unbearably slow, but now, it seems to have flown by. The sky is even darker now, but its summer, too early for the sun to be going down. The clouds are becoming fierce and dangerous looking. I have a depressing thought, it’ll probably start to rain when we’re trying to smuggle him out.

  I keep waiting, focusing on nothing but the tool shed, trying not to think. Time seems suddenly to be a person. I watch her, a pale figure all in flowing grey, just like the sky. She walks around the garden and the shed, telling me not to worry, the time shall pass, and I’ll be active soon enough. All at once, my new friend leaves me, leaving behind her a growing and new kind of darkness: night. I lose sight of the shed and that makes me panicky.

  Not long afterwards, Raya comes in to help me get ready for bed. I try to appear calm, like nothing has changed, but I think she notices something different about me. I try to avoid her eyes, afraid that if I look at her the secrets will spill out. But eventually she leaves and all sounds from outside my room diminish. I should wait about an hour before I go and get him. This hour is killing me and I end up getting out of bed and pacing my room. I decide to get dressed so I don’t have to roam the city in my nightgown, even if no one’s there to see me. I pull on the highest, plainest, sturdiest dress I own; I don’t want to be hindered by my dress tonight. This dress is slightly above the knee and a dark blue, almost navy. It’s the darkest dress that I own, but I’m also very conscious to the fact that it isn’t the opportune black that the characters in my books wear for situations like this.

  I still have some time to kill before I can go to the shed, so I try to think of other things that I might need to do. I glance in the mirror and my eyes fall on my long hair. I don’t want anything to get in the way tonight. I pull it back in a rough braid, it’s difficult for me to do because it’s behind me and so long, but I manage.

  I glance at the clock. It’s midnight and that’s good enough for me. But as I’m about to head out of my room, I hear a soft dripping sound. I look out the window; the rain has started to fall. By the time I’ve quietly made my way down the stairs and to the French doors to the garden, it’s raining so hard I don’t even have to try to be quiet. The noise of the pounding storm is deafening. I rush out the door and run to the shed as fast as I can, immediately getting soaked. My lace up ankle boots sink into the quickly forming mud and I nearly trip, catching myself just in time. This was not going to be easy. I make it to the temporary safety of the shed at last. Once I’m inside, I spot Nate reclined on a rough bed of crates that he obviously put together. He looks up at me, watching, waiting.

  “Are you ready to go home?”

  “I’ve got to be.” He looks disapprovingly out at the weather.

  “Alright,” I take a deep breath. “Let’s go.” This is not a night I’m looking forward to.

  Chapter Nine

  Nathan

  I’ve been lying here for what feels like days. Since Willa left me in the shed, I’ve been trying to get some sleep before I head out tonight. I stacked some crates on top of each other to form a bed for me to lie on. My mind won’t leave me be, it won’t shut down. I keep thinking about how I’d escape, what I would do if someone were to come in here, although Willa says no one will. What should I grab to defend myself? A shovel maybe, or a hoe? At least that would give me some time. I seriously consider just leaving by myself when it gets darker. But I decide against it. Willa has done so much for me. Even though I still don’t trust her with my life, she’s saved me already. I don’t think she deserves to come out here to help me, and find me gone.

  As I lie here, I find myself smelling the coat Willa gave me. I didn’t know cloth could smell so good, so clean. So, I lie here, staring at the ceiling with the hood of my coat over my mouth and nose. Just as I’m starting to drift off –which I actually don’t want to do anymore– I hear something. It sounds like gentle tapping coming from the roof. In a second, it hits me. It’s water. It must have started raining.

  “Great.” I say out loud for nobody to hear. I don’t know how much longer I can stay here before I have no choice but to take off. I really hope Willa comes back soon; I don’t want to leave without thanking her. Really thanking her for everything. The rain drizzle turns to rain drops and the rain drops turn to a storm. Thunder erupts in the distance and lightning lights up the whole shed. Maybe this is the world punishing me. Maybe I deserve to stay here, get caught and killed. I shouldn’t have left my family in the first place. Now I’ve put myself, them, and Willa in danger. None of us are safe until I’m back on my side.

  Just as I decide to get up, Willa bursts through the door. She’s soaking wet and out of breath.

  “Are you ready to go home?” She asks me, with a face like it’s a trick question.

  “I’ve got to be.” I look out the window in disgust.

  “Alright,” She starts, still catching her breath. “Let’s go.” I can tell she’s not looking forward to this.

  “You stay here.” I order her as I start to put my jacket on over the coat. “You’ve done enough for me already. I can find my way out.”

  “What? You can’t be serious.” She says with confusion. “I’m coming with you. You won’t get out in time without my help. You don’t get an opinion. End of
discussion.” She turns to the door and I chuckle a little under my breath. I have no doubt she heard me.

  She opens the shed door and the rain and wind come screaming in. I realize how unpleasant this is gonna be.

  “Alright,” She starts at a shout, “we’re gonna have to stick together. This is one of the worst storms I’ve seen in a while!”

  “Luckily, it probably won’t last long. I’d say we have until then to get out!” I shout back to her. “On the count of three!” We both take a deep breath.

  “One, two, three!”

  And we both sprint out the door, not bothering to close it behind us. Willa grabs my arm in an effort to lead me. In seconds I’m soaked and I can’t feel my feet. We run as fast as we can out of the garden and through the massive gate.

  After plenty of slipping and sliding across the smooth concrete of the roads and sidewalks, finally, we’re standing in the middle of the city. Willa stops me and yells, “Which way did you come from?!”

  “I don’t know! I went to a hospital!” She looks at me with wonder, then grabs my arm again and we continue to run, trying very hard not to fall on the wet, slippery roads. Willa loses her grip on my arm as she runs up to the front of the hospital, me right behind her. It’s so dark, loud, and wet that it’s getting harder to hear and see each other. I can tell she’s trying to catch her breath, but that’s hard to do when you’re practically drowning. I look to my left, and I remember running from those woods into the city. I barely see the entrance where I came in. It was a long walk from the woods to The Wall, but it was my only option.

  I grab Willa’s arm and lead her to the open spot that leads to the woods. When we’re only feet away from the trees, Willa jerks her arm out of my grip, stopping dead in her tracks. She looks at me, shocked. I know why she stopped. I’m sure the last thing she wants is to be dragged into the woods by a Worker, but I don’t care. I realize I want more time with her.

  She stands there, worrying, but I take her hand instead of her arm and lead her into the forest. Surprisingly, she doesn’t pull away.