Divided

by Kaesey Stobaugh

  Last time was such an awkward disaster. I have to admit I’m worried. What if they don’t get along even when Mia’s being nice? They both have such strong personalities; it could be equally as bad this time. But maybe their similarities will connect them. I have to hope that will be the case. I go to the communication pad on my wall and tap Mia’s name. It rings once, twice…

  “Hi, Willa…how’s everything?” I know she’s talking about my dangerous secret.

  “Don’t worry, everything’s fine, I promise.” I hear her take a deep breath.

  “That’s really great,” It hurts to hear how relieved she is. I never want her to worry. “So, what’s up?”

  “We want you to come back tonight.”

  “We?”

  “Well, I haven’t talked to him about it, but he did say he wanted to try again.”

  “Okay, I’ll come. This is really important to you, isn’t it?”

  “Of course, it is. You’re my best friend; I want you to like him too.” I want her approval badly. Her opinion means so much to me.

  “Alright, I’ll be there. Same time?” I think about saying yes but the selfish part of me wants some alone time with Nate.

  “Twelve forty-five this time.”

  “You want him to yourself for a while, don’t you?” She says in amusement.

  “I…yes. We’re kind of together now, so…”

  “So, now I really have to check him out!”

  “No, you really have to love him…or else.” I tease.

  She laughs. “If you love him, I’m sure I will.”

  “See you tonight.”

  “Let’s hope so.” She ends the call.

  Many boring hours later, I creep down the stairs, duffle bag in hand. It’s almost eleven o’clock and I have to meet up with Nate soon. I’ve been trying to make a mental list of things that we desperately need to bring with us for about an hour now. The stress is starting to kick in and I’m feeling overwhelmed. I decided to worry about food first. Not starving in the wilderness is high on my priorities list.

  I push past the swinging door to the kitchen and go straight back to the pantry. Once I’ve entered, I’m struck by how unfair everything here is. Here’s my family, and all the other Teck families, with a giant room bigger than the Amber’s entire house, for the sole purpose of storing food. It’s so wrong I can’t stand it. You could feed half of the Workers for a month on what’s in this room. There are so many rows of food that you need a ladder, and we have one.

  To my left, a door leads into the cooler, where our meat, dairy, and produce are kept. I don’t need anything from in there. Nate will hunt for us in the wild and we’ll have to live without the rest. We have to take food that will last. I climb the ladder and start browsing through the cans. A pang of sorrow hits me as I realize that the factories that these come from are manned by enslaved Workers of all ages. Nate might have lost Leila, but he should be thankful that his family has been left alone for the most part.

  I stuff my favorite foods in the bag, and try to guess some of Nate’s. I’ll only gather half the food that we need tonight. The rest of the bag is full of the nonfood items. I figure that if we have to make a quick break for it, we should have a fairly even variation of supplies.

  I finish filling half the bag, which is now painfully heavy and turn around to leave. I gasp and drop the bag which lands with a ringing clank. There’s a woman’s silhouette in the doorway, not moving, just watching me. I watch, frozen as the woman takes a step into the pantry, then another. Now she’s close enough that I can make out her features. Raya.

  She glances down at my duffle bag and back to my terrified face, “Willamina, what are you up to?” She whispers. I’ve never heard her not call me “miss” before.

  I find my voice quickly. I have to make her understand that I have to do this without giving anything away. “Please, listen to me. This is extremely important…” I trail off. What can I say to her?

  “That’s a lot of food. Who’s it for?”

  “What do you mean?” I can hear the panic in my voice.

  She laughs quietly. “Come now, Miss. That’s a lot of food for a midnight snack. Plus, you have no reason to hoard food. So, who’s it for?” There’s no judgment in her eyes, only curiosity.

  “I can’t tell you his name. It’s not just my secret.”

  “You don’t need to. Just tell me why he needs it.” Of course she’d want to know that. Everyone on our side has more than enough to eat and not even Raya, who lives on the Worker’s side, could imagine that we’re crossing The Wall in secret.

  There’s only one thing to do. I have to tell her the truth. Somehow, I know that I can trust her.

  “I’m leaving, Raya.”

  “Leaving where? There’s nowhere to go.”

  I take a deep breath. “The wilderness.”

  Her eyes widen. Emotions flood over her face too quickly to keep track of. “Willa,” Her voice is strangled and I can barely hear her. “You can’t do that. Why would you want to do that?”

  “I met someone. Someone who’s worth all that and more. He’s like you, Raya.”

  She stares at me in confusion, and then comprehension spreads through her. “Is he a servant on this side then? One of your gardeners?”

  I shake my head. “I met him when he snuck over The Wall to find supplies for his family.”

  “He what?” She keeps her voice down but I can tell how scared she is, “Nobody from the other side would do that. Nobody. Especially if they’d never been in the Teck city before.”

  “He had to. He knew he’d be taken soon and he’s all that his family has. We became friends, and then…more than friends. They’re gonna take him away from me, Raya, so we’re not giving them the chance.”

  She’s bewildered, I can tell, her mouth still hangs open when she begins babbling with questions, “Who is he? What’s his name? How did you even meet him? Willa, are you sure you can trust him?”

  I watch her face closely, “Why aren’t you taking his side? He’s one of your people, I’m not.”

  “Willa, I know my people. They’re skittish and closed off. They don’t like Tecks, they hate Tecks. I just can’t believe this boy would come here without permission and continue to see you. How? It doesn’t make any sense.”

  I feel my breath catch, “He’s different, Raya. He’s incredible.”

  “Willa-“

  “You have to believe me. He needs my help. They’re going to take him away from me!”

  “That’s how it is, Willa. That’s what they do. This boy; he was never yours in the first place.” She truly looks sad when she says, “He was never yours to lose.”

  I feel tears spring to my eyes. It’s true. Everything she says is true. And yet, I know she’s wrong. I know I’ll have to leave tonight, with or without her help. If she turns me in now, we’ll have to leave faster. Tonight. How could this happen?

  I heave in a breath, wiping at my eyes, “You may be right about that, but that’s not stopping me. I will be with him, with or without your help, Raya. But please, I’m begging you, don’t turn me in. If you do, they’ll kill him. They’ll kill him, Raya. You should know that better than anyone. I would never be able to live with myself if they…” I stop. I can’t say it.

  She holds my stare for a long time, and then she breathes, “You really love him?”

  I look her in the eye. “Yes. With all of my heart.”

  She just stares at me. She probably thinks I’m crazy. I hope I’m right by trusting her. Without another word, she walks over to the shelf, pulls out a jar of apple butter, and sets it in my hand.

  “You’re going to want this. Sometimes a little taste of home makes all the difference.” She smiles at me.

  I smile gratefully and before I can stop myself, I hug her tightly. She stiffens in surprise, then relaxes and hugs me back. “Live your life by your terms, brave girl.” She whispers. Then she’s out of the pantry and headed for the door.

&nbs
p; I can’t move or think. How am I still safe? Why didn’t she turn me in? I know she’s from the other side, but I can’t imagine Nate’s parents being thrilled to hear that I’m a Teck. No, I can’t spend time wondering why she did what she did, I have to continue working for our escape. For the first time I wonder if Nate wants to come back after the Taking’s over. I hope not. Even if we did come back, I don’t think I could get away with staying on his side. People would know I’m not from there and they’d get suspicious. They’d also know that Nate should have been taken. If we leave, we can never come back. I hope he knows.

  A few minutes later, I’m hobbling through the empty city with one packed bag slung over my shoulder. My ankle is starting to feel better so the journey’s not as painful as it was before, but it certainly isn’t easy and the bag weighs me down, throwing off my balance.

  Somehow, I make it to the clearing in one piece. Nate is sitting on the log with his hands in his lap, bouncing anxiously. He turns when he hears me and a huge grin breaks across his face, all nervousness gone.

  He’s up and running to me before I can stumble another step. His strong arms wrap around me and lift me off my feet as he twirls me around and around, bag and all. In that moment, I know how far we’ve come. I remember the early morning when I stood across from him in the shed while he scowled at me suspiciously. But now, not only is there love, there’s trust, and I know that’s the most meaningful thing that Nathan Ambers could ever give.

  He sets me back down on my feet, still smiling. I stand on tiptoes and kiss him lightly. How do I ever manage to be without him? This kind of happiness is beyond anything that I’ve ever felt. When we pull apart, we laugh, simply happy to be together again. First, he takes the heavy duffle bag from my shoulder and hauls it over his own, and then he takes my hand and leads me to the log to sit.

  “You know, I was thinking,” He says. “We’re running away together and even though I know you as well as my own family, I don’t know the little things.”

  “What kind of things do you want to know?”

  “Well…” He smiles, looking up at the sky as if he’s deep in thought, “Everything. Everything that makes you the person I’m sitting next to right now.”

  I feel my face flush, no replies coming to mind.

  After a moment of smiling at one another, he says, “What’s your favorite…color?”

  “Hmm…” I look up into the dark sky, pretending to think hard, “Probably light blue. Like…when you look up at the sky one day and realize for the first time that it’s spring. What’s yours?”

  “Deep blue. The color of the sky on an autumn day.” He shrugs.

  “My turn. What’s your favorite food?”

  He laughs. “Whatever I can get! But I really like the taste of deer meat.”

  “I’ve never had that before.”

  “You will soon if the hunting in the wilderness is good. What kind of food do you like?”

  “I like apple butter on toast. I packed some for us last night.” I remember that Raya is now in on the secret and consider telling Nate. It might be best to keep that to myself; he doesn’t need another thing to worry about.

  “What’s your favorite memory?” He asks next, “Something you’ll never forget as long as you live.”

  I tell him about a time when Mia and I spent the night in her backyard without anyone knowing. We told each other silly secrets all night and watched the stars twinkling above us. He chuckles when I’m finished painting the scene for him, like he just remembered a funny joke he heard. “What’s yours?”

  “Nothing specific, really. I guess…anytime that I get to be with my sisters, and now you. But there was this one time when my dad…” He trails off, biting his lip as if he just thought better of what he was going to say. I decide not to push him.

  “Me, too. Every time I’m with you it goes by too fast and then I’m waiting to be with you again. I can’t wait until I don’t have to leave you anymore.” He smiles at my words.

  He takes my hand and we sit on the ground together, leaning against the log. He puts his arm around me and I lean into his shoulder.

  “When’s your birthday?” I ask next.

  “What do you mean?”

  “You know…the day you were born? The anniversary marking when you came into this world?”

  He snorts, “Do the Tecks keep track of stuff like that?”

  “Yeah, they do. You don’t?”

  “Nah, it was never that important. I know I was born in mid-winter sometime. Each time winter rolls around, I just know I’m another year older.”

  “Huh, that’s so different. So, you don’t get presents on your birthday?”

  He laughs heartily. “No! Why would you get presents for being born years ago?”

  “I guess it is kind of silly. You never really think about it when you’ve grown up doing it.”

  He ponders that for a moment before saying, “It’s not like you’ve earned anything, or anybody owes something to you. Life itself should be your only reward, I think. Celebrate the fact that you’ve survived another year and…I don’t know, try to survive the next.”

  I shake my head, a patient smile twisting my lips, “You’re forgetting that for Tecks, survival is an obligation. It’s not an everyday battle.” I think about that a little further, “Maybe that’s why we have time to throw parties on birthdays. We’ve got nothing better to do.”

  I feel his eyes look over at me, “I’m sorry if that came out a little blaming. You know I didn’t-“

  I cut him off, “You’re right. You’re right about a lot of things. I’m just grateful for the chance to hear and know what’s right too.”

  We sit in pleasant silence for a while. He runs his thumb up and down my shoulder, making me sleepy but content. Then I remember that he doesn’t know Mia’s coming and I don’t know how long we’ve been out here.

  “Oh, by the way, do you remember when you said that you’d give Mia another chance?”

  “Yes,” He says warily. “Why?”

  “Well, we’re leaving soon, so I figured the sooner the better…”

  “She’s coming tonight, isn’t she?” He doesn’t sound upset, in fact, he sounds like he’s going to laugh.

  “Yes. She’s going to be on her best behavior this time though, I promise!”

  “Don’t worry, I believe you. I’m excited to see her again.” He’s definitely not as excited as he says he is but he doesn’t look disappointed either.

  We talk about simple things, like items we should remember to pack and which direction we should head in. He says that the river turns when it nears The Wall and travels into the wild. He wants to follow it so that we always have water available to us. He’s going to get the supplies for us and his family tomorrow but he brought a bag with him today for me to fill with food. He’s going to keep one with him to put all of our clothes in. I ask him to buy some warm shirts for me as well.

  “Good idea. You’re going to need them when it starts snowing.” He says.

  “What’s snowing?”

  “You know, snow.” I stare at him in confusion as his eyebrows narrow, “Rain that freezes because it’s so cold?”

  “It can do that?” I ask, a little shocked.

  “Uh, yeah. It turns everything white and piles up everywhere. You’ve really never seen snow before?”

  I shake my head. “Is it bad?”

  “It is for us. It’s hard to travel in and it’s really cold.”

  “That doesn’t sound fun.” I remember how cold it was the one time I went to his side of The Wall, and now he’s telling me it gets even colder?

  “It’ll be okay though.” He reassures me after seeing the drawback in my expression, “We’re going into it prepared. I’ll get you through it.”

  I smile at him, opening my mouth to reply when a sharp snap in the nearby woods makes me jump.

  We start hearing the noises coming from the forest, growing louder each moment. Nate and I stand up, h
and in hand. I can feel him tensing up and I wonder if it’s because of Mia or because he’s afraid it’s not her. But sure enough, Mia pops into the clearing. I wave and motion for her to come over to us. She does, but seems a little nervous. She stops in front of us and looks right at Nate.

  “Look, I’m sorry for how I acted last time. I just want to keep my best friend safe.”

  He nods once.

  “I hope that you’ll give me another chance. I think that we can be friends.” She holds out her hand and Nate thankfully shakes it.

  “Let’s go sit down.” I suggest. We sit on the dry ground in front of the log, forming a triangle.

  “So, Mia,” Nate starts, clasping his hands together, “You’ve known Willa since…?”

  “First grade. We sat next to each other during snack time and I pulled her hair. She looked at me calmly and told me that I needed to be nice because we were going to be friends. And she was right!” Nate laughs like he can’t help it.

  “That sounds like Willa all right! The first time I met her, I literally ran into her. Her response was to invite me in for a chat.”

  Now Mia’s laughing and I realize that they’re going to get along just fine. Nate throws his arm around me and kisses my cheek, which makes me blush with Mia here.

  “Do you go to school on the other side?” I’m surprised how comfortable she is talking about the Worker’s side.

  “We don’t have any schools to go to. Some of the mother’s teach their kids, if they know how of course, and sometimes kids just teach themselves. My brother, Gabe can write and I think he can read too. But for the most part we learn how to work and then we just… keep living.” Mia nods like she’s been hearing about this all her life.

  “I’m sorry, that can’t be easy. I wish there was something I could do to turn this all around.”

  “You can know,” I say. “That’s something that almost no one on our side does. Everybody is aware of it but no one thinks that there’s anything wrong with the way things are.”