Inconvenient Relations

by Simi K. Rao

  It took about fifteen minutes to set up the tent with the help of the old man, who could probably accomplish the task with his eyes closed. All the while, he rattled off stories of how he and his wife had met on a cross-country biking trip, fought like hyenas throughout, but then ended up making out in a log cabin; and he being the gentleman he was, “I believe in no abortion,” had made her accept him as her permanent partner, and they were now proud grandparents.

  “She wasn’t willing to hook up at first, saying if she had a child she’d take care of it all on her own. It took me six months to persuade her, and by that time, I’d fallen deeply in love and couldn’t let her go.”

  Eager to hear more, Shaan waited patiently, as the much lived and experienced old hat of the mountains grew pensive. His story had a familiar ring to it, in many ways resembling his own.

  Night had fallen, but darkness could never reign supreme in the canyon for the skies came brilliantly alive, ablaze with the splendid display from a gazillion stars.

  “Like some ancient wise man once said, there are no accidents, everything happens for a reason. We—you and I—wouldn’t be here right now hadn’t the river decided to carve the canyon millions of years ago.”

  Then with a saintly incline of his sunburnt face, he said, “So I say let it flow, don’t fight, and you’ll be richly rewarded.”

  ***

  Shaan wasn’t too sure about any rewards; at least Andy Sr. had gotten laid.

  “He’d have laughed even louder had he known my plight!” he thought aloud, flinging another pebble as far as he could into the river. It sunk without a murmur.

  “What plight?”

  He turned his head and saw Ruhi standing next to him looking fresh and slinky like a wildflower—hair caught up in its usual slightly askew topknot with more than a few tendrils springing out, being merrily whipped about her face by the breeze. Her wet shirt now completely unbuttoned, exposed her cami, which hugged her saucy figure like a glove.

  God, this torture is uncalled for! I want to kill her so bad!

  “Stop looking like a cry baby and eat this!” She thrust a plate at him. “Tacos, reheated baked beans, and an orange, which I’ve peeled for you. Andy was nice enough to share with us when he saw we’d brought no real food.”

  “Which Andy, Jr. or Sr.?”

  “Senior. Why, does it matter?”

  Shaan shook his head and glumly took the plate. She wouldn’t understand; perhaps I should take a dip in the river.

  She stood there watching him eat in silence for a few moments. “Thanks for putting up the tent. I think I’ll turn in…” She hesitated before walking away; he saw her limp had worsened.

  “Ruhi…no, wait!” What an unfeeling creep I am!

  He swallowed what was left of the meal and, after dipping the plate for a brisk rinse in the river, hurried after her.

  She was sitting inside, tongue compressed between thinned lips while trying to gingerly to peel off her brand-new hiking boots by the light of a single bright LED lantern.

  Kneeling at her feet, he said, “Here…let me.”

  “No, I can manage.”

  “Didn’t you agree to obey my every word?” he said, looking sternly at her.

  She succumbed, none too pleased.

  He drew in a sharp breath. Both of her feet were chaffed, bright red over most of the pressure points with a couple of large angry-looking blisters over the base of her right big toe and pinky.

  Overcome by remorse, he said, “You must think me to be such a lout.”

  “No,” she said, emitting a quivering sigh. “You aren’t at fault. It’s me… I’ve been leading you around so much all this time. It was only natural for you to think I was faking.”

  He shook his head while regarding her hurt-and-angry-looking feet. “This won’t happen ever again.”

  “You know I’d never lie to you,” she said sweetly, forgiving him in an instant.

  Then procuring a safety pin from nowhere, she bent down, aiming the sharp end at one of the blisters.

  He caught her wrist. “No, don’t! Are you nuts?”

  “But that is what we used to do back home.”

  “Then you are nuts! This way you can introduce all kinds of bugs, which may lead to infection and who knows…amputation too!”

  “Aww…rubbish. Don’t be so melodramatic.” She laughed.

  “I’m not stretching the facts, just telling the truth. Haven’t you heard of those skin-eating bacteria that thrive on the flesh of beautiful young women?”

  She stared at him wide eyed for a moment before allowing the corners of her mouth to relax into a smile.

  Grinning, he said, “Let me brainstorm the guides. I’m sure they’ll come up with some remedy.”

  He promptly returned, armed with a first aid kit and a tall flask of hot water. “This is the right way, madam.”

  Within a few minutes, paying no heed to her protests, he had tenderly washed, treated, and dressed her feet.

  “That was so kind of you,” she murmured, her voice breaking with emotion.

  “I’ve done just what you’d do for me. We are best friends and partners, remember? It’s my duty to take care of you.”

  “Shaan…”

  “Hmm?”

  “I know I’ve been keeping you from something.”

  “Now what would that be?” he asked eagerly, wondering if he’d finally succeeded in finding the key to her sacred realm.

  Digging into the side pocket of the giant backpack, she whipped out his portable telescope. “See?” Brandishing it in front of his face, she said, “It slipped your mind, but I didn’t forget to pack it! How can you miss your date with the stars?”

  Turning the instrument over slowly in his hands, he wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry.

  “Come and tell me if you discover a new galaxy, I’ll be waiting!” she said before hustling him out.

  Now it’ll be a very tough prospect for a budding astrophysicist to evade the lure of the night sky, especially in a place which was known as a star gazer’s Mecca. Therefore, notwithstanding his deepest desires, Shaan soon found himself immersed into worlds, which were lightyears from his own.

  “Gosh! I’ve never seen Saturn’s rings so clearly before. Ruhi’d love it! Damn! She must’ve been waiting for me.”

  The entire camp had gone to sleep; the only sound that could be heard was of the wind as it played a mournful cello while careening lazily through the canyon. There was no sign of any stragglers, having their last bottle of beer or enjoying an after-dinner cigarette; the Andys had made it clear from the very beginning—no tobacco, alcohol, or illicit drugs.

  He snatched a quick look at the luminous dial of his watch. It’s been over an hour, and I meant it to be just fifteen minutes. It’s all her fault!

  The lamp was out, but the tent wasn’t entirely dark. Silver rays filtering through the skylight gave the tiny enclosure a dreamy feel. He could make out her small form in one of the sleeping bags. Scooting down beside her, he listened to her quiet breathing.

  Damn she’s asleep, dead to the world, while I couldn’t be more awake.

  Chalo bacchu! (All right, son) Guess you’d have to inaugurate the other bag, too. Better you bury your wants in a deep pit…nothing’s gonna happen. Curse the day I said I’ll wait for her.

  Feeling supremely stifled, he yanked off his shirt and lay down on top of his sleeper, directly under the window, which provided a picture perfect view of the new moon right above. But there was no Venus to be seen.

  She, who mattered most of all, had given him the slip.

  ***

  There was a restless movement.

  “I’m cold.” Her teeth chattered.

  “Cold? But I’m not. Do you have a fever?” he queried, concerned.

  “No. I’m just cold!”
Ruhi said,

  “But we don’t have an extra blanket.” Without further hesitation, he unzipped her bag and slid in, pulling her into his arms. She was shivering uncontrollably; her body cold as ice.

  “Of course you’ll freeze if you sleep in your wet clothes,” he chided while forcibly getting rid of her still damp shirt and shorts.

  “Please, not this one,” she beseeched, eyes awkwardly shy as he sought to dispose of her cami.

  “As you wish.” He chaffed her hands then, holding her tight, rubbed her back, creating a warming friction and a lot more.

  Gradually as the violent tremors ceased, her body relaxed, making him acutely aware of every shapely curve that fit snugly into his—an infallible means for his yearnings to grow even more intensely agonizing.

  Not able to take it anymore, he said gruffly, “Let me see if the lining of my bag comes apart.”

  “No, don’t go. Please?”

  There was something bohemian in those eyes, which arrested him and stayed his tongue. He’d never beheld her quite like this before—skin glowing silver, lips of luscious plum, the planes of her exquisitely aligned features casting mysterious shadows, which he urged to discover. She was an ethereal creature from another world—his eternal dream and benevolent angel.

  He shuddered, feeling her fingers draw across his cheek, then thoughtfully brush his lips.

  “Stop doing that.”

  “Why?”

  “It’s unbearable. Don’t you get it?”

  Her eyes glittered like the brightest of stars. “Then kiss me.”

  “Wha…at?”

  “You heard right. I said kiss me.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes…”

  “Doubly, infinitely sure?”

  “Kiss me before I change my mind you sweet crazy ba—”

  The remainder of the sentence was lost in transit when she found her lips crushed under his mouth by a pressure hard enough she tasted blood. The insult was so sudden and unexpected she failed to emit even the feeblest of gasps.

  Recognizing what he’d done, he relaxed his grip on her back and grunted in sweetest apology, “I’m sorry, sweetheart.”

  The softest of kisses was then planted on the edge of her broken lips, and his tongue swept gently across, forcing the tender orifice open before plunging deep inside.

  While her mouth thrilled at the invasion, his hands were left free to explore her naïve physique, boldly seeking and discovering what she’d so far considered privy only to her own self, making her at once cringe with abashment and the very next instant quiver with wanton delight at the exotic sensations evoked by his touch.

  A thought fluttered into her mind, was it sinful to feel pleasure beyond comprehension? But then she didn’t care.

  Insinuating his fingers inside her underpants, he manipulated them down, then with utmost familiarity smoothed over her shapely hips, and with brazen abandon scooped her compact behind. With another swift movement, he drew up her cami, causing her to draw a sharp breath when her bare skin brushed against his unclothed exterior.

  Despite having succeeded in rendering her mind utterly paralyzed trying to deal with all the alien stimuli, his thirst remained unquenched. Instead, it fed upon itself growing stronger and more urgent.

  Leaving her mouth, his lips deliberately worked their way down smothering her chin, her throat, and the rest of her supple flesh—tasting, feeding, absorbing, and in turn, giving, translating his passion in ways she’d have no difficulty comprehending.

  Now completely at the mercy of her most basic instincts, she moaned, arching her back, digging her nails into his muscular shoulders, reveling in the feel of his breath on her naked skin.

  “Oh my darling, you are so beautiful. Thank you for choosing me,” he uttered in an almost reverential tone as he moved up and thrust her pelvis against his. She gulped, surprised at the pain.

  “Trust me. I promise I won’t hurt you.”

  Slowly, patiently, he worked away on the tension, till she yielded and let him consume her properly and irrevocably.

  The ritual seemed to go on for hours or did it last just minutes? There was no way she could tell. He appeared indefatigable and thereby relentlessly persistent; until finally giving up her grasp on reality, she fell into an exhausted dreamless sleep.

  ***

  She found a small, secluded spot behind a large boulder where a shallow pool of water had lodged. Without a second thought, she waded in, feet skimming over the river rock worn smooth by eons of erosion, deeper and deeper till her waist was submerged, letting the cool wetness seep into her skin, numbing the burning ache in the lower reaches of her body.

  Standing there, she let her gaze spread far and wide, absorbing the early morning light as it bounced off the rippling waves rushing in their endless quest in all the brilliant colors of the rainbow. Her hands tried to catch them but failed; her fingers were like a sieve. She saw a face in the water but failed to recognize it. Confused, she splashed then gathered the water; it was none other than her own.

  She had changed; Ruhi Sharma had changed. She didn’t belong to herself anymore; instead, she belonged to him. She bore his indelible stamp, yet it did not frighten or bewilder her. It didn’t make her want to run away or to take a breath that wasn’t enmeshed with his though he influenced every little notion, manipulated every idea that occurred in her mind, and made her invariably sway to his tune.

  Strangely, she felt liberated and at peace. Finally! ‘Cause this was the day and the moment she had been waiting for all along. Yes!

  Glancing over her shoulder, she smiled when she heard his beloved voice call her name.

  Then rushing back into his loving embrace, she whispered to herself, “I’ve kept my word, and there is no turning back.”

  Ruhi’s Piping Hot Gobhi Parathas!

  Paratha [par-AA- THA] Hindi is one of the most popular types of unleavened flat breads in the North Indian Cuisine. Prepared from pan frying whole wheat dough which usually has ghee (clarified butter) or cooking oil in it to make them crispy, parathas are often stuffed with vegetables such as aloo (mashed boiled potatoes), gobhi (cauliflower), mooli (radish), other vegetables or paneer (fresh Indian cheese). Regardless, plain or stuffed with a side of achar (Indian pickle) and dahi (plain yogurt), they make for a wholesome meal at any time of the day.

  Ingredients

  For the dough

  2 cups whole wheat flour—makes around 8-10 parathas (you can pick up great chapati/roti (Indian flat bread) flour from any Indian grocery store.)

  1/4 tsp salt (optional)

  Water

  1 tbsp of cooking oil or ghee (optional)

  Make a well in the middle of the dough, add salt, oil or ghee and a little water and mix. Continue to bring the flour together and knead by adding small amounts of water at a time. Don’t add too much. For parathas the consistency of the dough should be medium-soft. Keep kneading until the dough is smooth. Cover and set aside for 10-20 minutes.

  For the stuffing

  1 1/2 cups finely grated cauliflower

  2 tbsp finely chopped cilantro leaves

  1 tsp grated ginger

  1 tsp garam masala (available at any Indian grocery store)

  1 tsp salt

  Mix ingredients together.

  Method

  Pinch off the dough into balls slightly larger than golf size and flatten. Pinch the edges to shape into cups and place a small amount of the cauliflower mixture in the center. Extend the edges to enclose the filling and pinch together to seal. Now dust the stuffed ball with dry flour and flatten. Roll out into a circle, as thin as possible, without tearing the paratha. If this is difficult, you can place the mixture between two pieces of flattened dough, pinch the edges to seal and then roll out. Heat a tawa (flat pan such as a pan cake pan) until very hot. Lower th
e temperature and carefully place the paratha on it. When the edges begin to separate from the pan, drizzle the sides and the surface of the dough with a small amount of ghee or cooking oil. Flip over. Brown both sides and serve with yogurt and/or achar.

  Recipe courtesy of Subha

  Glossary

  Most terms are in Hindi unless otherwise specified.

  ABCD: American-born confused desi. A term often used to refer to South Asian Americans born in the United States.

  Aata, Daal: Flour, lentils.

  Adrak wali chai: Ginger-flavored tea.

  Bahu: Daughter-in-law.

  Beta: Child, son.

  Beti: Child, daughter.

  Bekaar: Unemployed.

  Bhabhi: Sister-in-law.

  Bhaiyya: Brother.

  Bhetki Fry (Bengali): Fish fry. A popular Bengali dish.

  Biwi: Wife.

  Mishti Bon (Bengali): Sweet person.

  Chaku: Knife

  Chole: Dish made from garbanzo beans.

  Churi: Scalpel

  Dadaji: Paternal grandfather.

  Damaadji: Son-in-law.

  Dadamoni (Bengali): Elder brother.

  Dekho: Look, see.

  Desi/desiness: Indian.

  Dhaba: Roadside food stalls popular in the state of Punjab and northern India.

  Dhonnabad (Bengali): Thank you.

  Di: Elder sister.

  Dimaag ka doctor: Head doctor

  Ek aur: Another

  Fida: Besotted.

  Haan: Yes.

  Haina: Isn’t it.

  Hanuman Chalisa: Devotional song based on Lord Hanuman written by Tulsidas.

  Hey Bhagwan: Oh Lord.

  Jiju: Brother-in-law

  Kabab mein Haddi: Bone in the meat or odd man out.

  Karwa Chauth: A ritual of fasting observed by married Hindu women seeking the longevity, well-being, and prosperity of their husbands.

  Kheer: Indian-style rice pudding flavored with cardamom, raisins, and a variety of nuts.

  Khuddar: Someone with self-respect.