Lawful Heart

by Amity Lassiter

  “I thought it was a pretty special shot, and that you needed to have it. I have others, too, but this one is really something.”

  “It really is,” Norah agreed, then pressed the photo against her heart for just a second. The idea that Lily had thought of her and how special this photo might be only reinforced the idea that this was home. Whether she had Banks or not, whether Rob found her here or not, she was staying. This town full of lovely, open, caring people was where she would raise her daughter; she had absolutely no doubts about it.

  “You should swing by the ranch sometime and I’ll show you the rest of what I’ve got. Give you a little sneak preview of the photos I took for the gala.”

  “I’d love that,” Norah said as Nate and Mason emerged from the bouncy castle, flushed and breathless, with a giggling red headed girl.

  “Norah, this is my daughter Tessa. Tessa, this is Nate and Mason’s friend, Norah. She’s staying at Nan’s for a while.”

  The little girl giggled and held out her hand, shaking it like a little adult. Better manners than half the adults I know.

  “Nice to meet you,” Tessa offered.

  “And you, too,” Norah replied.

  “I hate to cut and run but we’re late to meet up with Finn. I’m sure we’ll see you around this afternoon. And make sure you come by the ranch,” Lily said, trundling the girl away and down the street.

  “I’ll definitely do that,” Norah said, waving at the pair as they departed.

  “We’re headed to a porta potty,” Nate informed her, and then the pair of them were gone, too.

  And that was when she saw Banks.

  He’d gone somewhere and changed and now he was wearing a white button down with the sleeves rolled up and “WRANGLER” embroidered on the collar with a pair of dark wash jeans and his black cowboy hat. Something deep inside that wasn’t Jellybean moved and she had to take a breath. Like she had no control over it, she started toward him. She was pissed he’d tipped Rob off to her location, but a bigger, evidently more persuasive part of her was drawn to him like a moth to a flame.

  The day was waning and long shadows stretched across the street. With a click and a buzz, the antiqued streetlamps that lined the sidewalk flickered to life, right about the same time the dance floor lit up. Behind Banks, people had started to assemble into lines for a big feast laid out on a line of long tables. Big trays of ribs and burgers, mismatched bowls of potato and macaroni salad—it appeared everyone had brought something. Those who weren’t in line were headed for the dance floor, accompanied by a four piece band on a little stage that had been erected nearby. The town knew what it was doing when it came to small-town-magical.

  Any other day, she’d be sniffing down the food, hunting it out and heaping up a plate, but Banks had her completely distracted. She was angry at herself for her resolve and anger being so flimsy, but there was something perfect about this whole afternoon that had softened her.

  When she finally reached Banks, he smiled, one corner of his lips tipping a little higher, the edges of his eyes crinkling with the expression. Out of the corner of her eye, Norah could see Nate and Mason making their way back to them.

  “Would you like to dance?” Banks asked.

  “No thank you.”

  One brow quirked up and that smile only got brighter. Obnoxious. He knew she would say yes, eventually. She couldn’t not. That small town magic was infectious and she couldn’t think of a single thing more romantic than dancing under the stars with the sheriff of the town. The sheriff of the town who had brought her in, given her a job, made sure she got medical care, accompanied her to her ultrasound. He’d showed her kindness and care like she hadn’t had in years. And passion and attention she couldn’t pass up. He didn’t have to say anything else.

  “What about that rumor mill you were talking about?”

  “Let them talk,” he said. “Besides, the rule is you dunk me, you dance with me.”

  Norah swung to Nate, who held his hands up in feigned innocence.

  “He’s never asked me to dance, but he is the sheriff. He knows all the rules in this town. I think it’s better for you if you don’t resist. He is authorized to arrest people.”

  Rueful, Norah shook her head and rolled her eyes, trying hard to tamp down the smile that crept over her lips. It was a near impossible task as she finally relented and Banks touched her elbow, leading her toward the dance floor. Once there, he took her up in his arms, about as proper as one could get, his fingers pressed to the small of her back, her hand folded into his. The feeling in the air turned from teasing to something else as she tipped her head up and caught his gaze.

  “I don’t know the steps.” In this dance, here on this dance floor, but more than that, too.

  “Let me show you,” he said, his voice barely above a murmur; just loud enough she could hear. Soon enough, she stopped resisting, letting her body follow his until she almost felt like she knew what she was doing.

  Banks smiled a bit, then drew back and gave her a twirl before drawing her back to him.

  “You’re getting it.”

  She smiled back. “Maybe.”

  “Norah,” he started, and she might have been imagining it, but it felt like he drew her even closer than. “I owe you an apology. I messed up with Rob. I wanted to protect you. I want to protect you.”

  She closed her eyes and let out a breath.

  “I’m sorry, too. I’ve brought you too far into this, and it’s not fair. This is my issue to deal with. Rob is my problem, not yours. It’s easy to just let you take on some of the burden.”

  Banks held her gaze, intent.

  “I am exactly as far into this as I want to be. I’ve got broad shoulders and I’m happy to take on some of that burden. I care about you and I see a future with you and that’s why I went off on Rob half-cocked…he threatens what I see for us.”

  That was a pretty bold admission from him, confirming that her daydreams about what the future looked like, including him, weren’t completely off base. It changed everything. If he really meant he was going to be here, through thick and thin, if Rob showed up, when Jellybean arrived…if all of that was true, maybe she could trust his assertion that he’d protect her.

  She offered him a smile. “And what is it that you see for us?”

  He gave her an are you kidding me? look and shook his head.

  “Humor me,” she said, moving her hand from his shoulders to touch the nape of his neck, the short hairs he kept tidy and trimmed there. She felt a tremor move through his body, but nobody else would have seen it.

  He wet his lips, glanced to the side. Finally, he let out a breath she hadn’t realized he’d been holding and he looked vulnerable—more than she’d ever seen him before.

  “You and me and Jellybean in my farm house. Teaching her how to ride. Watching her throw a ball for Crash. Someday, down the road, you, pregnant with a brother or sister for Jellybean—one we made together.”

  Now she was the one whose body responded with a tremor. What he saw for them was all of the things she couldn’t bring herself to imagine. The things she was too afraid to put a name or an image to. He’d taken her meager dreams and hit them way out of the ball park, beyond what she’d allowed herself to hope. It was heady stuff, deep.

  “I don’t want to scare you off, Norah. But I’ve never felt this way, and this is all new territory for me. I’m bound to make a few mistakes. So I’m sorry that I made you feel like you weren’t safe, but I need you to know that I’ll do everything in my power as a man and as the sheriff of this town to make sure that no harm comes to you. By Rob or anyone or anything else.”

  Norah’s heart felt like it could burst, and her whole body was warmed by Banks’ admission. She closed her eyes and lowered her cheek to his chest. His heart beat quick under her ear, like a herd of horses. He was anxious. Finally she felt the rumble of his words.

  “You gotta say something, Norah. I’m laying it all out here. Tell me I’m not a fool.�
��

  She lifted her head and opened her eyes. He looked worried.

  “You’re not a fool,” she said, barely above a whisper. She thought for a second he might not have heard her, but his face cracked into a handsome smile and he squeezed her just a bit closer. Any tighter and they’d barely be decent. “I like the future you see for us. I’m all in, but I’ve been hurt, so I need you to understand when you do something and I feel like running. Just promise me we can talk things out, that you’ll have a conversation with me before you go off ‘half-cocked’ on anyone again. We don’t have to be perfect, we just have to be open, and vulnerable, and like we are right now.”

  The hand that held hers released it, guiding it instead to rest on his hip, then he touched her jawline, tipping her chin up. His eyes reflected affection and tenderness, things she might have convinced herself before now she was imagining when he looked at her, but there was no denying it in this moment.

  “I promise,” he said, and then he tipped his head. Their feet stopped moving and he captured her mouth with his. He had said to let them talk, and here he was giving them something to talk about. She closed her fingers in fabric of his shirt, against the nape of his neck, while his cupped the back of her head, drawing her tight, giving her no escape. She’d drown in him, drown in the kiss, if he let her, as long as she could hold onto him and know he’d keep her floating. Her heart felt like it would burst, and for the first time since she’d started gaining baby weight, she felt light as air.

  —TWENTY-NINE—

  Banks put his truck into park in Nan’s driveway and glanced over at Norah. She looked as good as she had when he’d seen her pick up that softball at the dunking tank but her cheeks were a little more rosy, her clothes a little mussed. It had been all he could do not to pull over on the drive here and kiss her again. It was barely ten o’clock but Nan and the others had left the festival earlier, while Norah had treated him to just about every dance, breaking only for drinks and when Noah Baylor had proposed a partner switch and given her a whirl around the floor while Banks had danced with Emma.

  He’d enjoyed a lot of Spring Flings in the town’s history—they’d been doing it as long as he could remember—but this one would go down in his memory as the best one to date. With Norah at his side—in public—he felt like a different man. Colors were brighter, food tasted better. How he had ever believed he didn’t have time for a good woman in his life, he couldn’t imagine.

  Norah’s hands lay clasped in her lap, and she bit her lower lip. He could feel the weight of unspoken words in the air between them. But he could wait. He had all the time in the world for her.

  “Would…would you like to come in?”

  It barely needed to be asked, but he nodded, feeling every bit as nervous as she looked. It was different now, they were a couple, in the public eye, in front of God and the world, and it wasn’t a secret anymore. This wasn’t her falling into his bed. This was him making a conscious choice to come in, spend the night, have Nan see his truck in the yard when she woke in the morning. Kerri Baylor had been to his place to do night chores and put Crash out, so there was no reason he couldn’t.

  “Would you like me to?”

  He saw the flash of her throat as she swallowed, then nodded.

  Banks wasted no time turning off and getting out of the truck, making his way around to her side. He helped her out of the truck, and took the cotton candy ‘Jellybean’ had requested ‘for the road’ and the stuffed animal she’d won at the darts booth and they headed inside the apartment. He’d learned his lesson and he was grateful for a second chance to prove to Norah how much she meant to him.

  *

  It wasn’t the sun streaming in through the window that woke Banks, but his hand being bumped. Insistently. He shifted, eyes closed, burrowing his face into Norah’s soft, fragrant hair, and tightened his grip on her. Her round, warm body fit into his perfectly, her back to his chest, one arm tucked under her head, the other draped over her side. He hadn’t felt such a sense of rightness, ever. And here it was.

  The bumping under his palm kept up. Not quite rhythmic, it couldn’t be the beat of her heart. She stirred and he let out a breath.

  “Oh,” she said, a note of awe in her voice.

  “Oh?” he murmured in reply, still not opening his eyes.

  “Do you feel that?” she whispered, covering his hand with hers.

  It was only then the fog of sleep lifted and he realized just exactly what—or who, rather—was nudging him.

  “Jellybean.”

  He held stock still, waiting, and there it was again, a double kick this time. He sucked in a breath. Norah chuckled sleepily.

  “That’s her.”

  Banks thought his heart might burst. He nuzzled his mouth against the side of her neck and waited to feel the baby move again. It was one thing to know she was pregnant, see the baby on the ultrasound monitor. He knew there was somebody in there, but this was different. Magical. Real. It produced emotions in him he hadn’t been expecting, all of that overwhelming protectiveness rising up again, clogging up his throat. He couldn’t have talked to her if he’d wanted to, but it seemed more reverent to spend this moment in silence, holding her, his thumb stroking slowly back and forth as he waited patiently to feel another shift under the skin of her abdomen.

  This was magic. Pure, real magic. There was no other way to explain it. And it was a magic he didn’t deserve. He hadn’t done a single thing to make it, but she was sharing it with him. She was powerful; she’d created life out of a simple act that was done across the world millions of times on a daily basis and never produced this kind of magic. And he got to know her. Hold her. Love her.

  Love. Maybe that was what was blocking up his throat. He’d considered it when he’d talked to Rob on the phone and she’d walked away and he had ached—more than he had expected. Maybe that’s what it was. But he still hadn’t been sure. He was now. There was no mistaking it, it eclipsed every other thing he’d ever felt for another woman in his whole life.

  Finally, the movements in her belly stilled and Norah rolled over into his arms. He held her to his chest; she had to be able to hear his heart thudding. Maybe too fast. Maybe too slow. Amplified by all the emotion that surrounded it. She tipped her head back so she could catch his eyes and smiled up at him.

  “You’re still here.”

  “I couldn’t go anywhere if I wanted to.”

  “I know, I’m lying on your arm.”

  He chuckled, brushed a strand of her hair back from where it had fallen across her face. He pressed his lips to her forehead, feeling like his heart might burst right out of his chest.

  “No, because I love you.”

  She smiled again, touched his cheek, her eyes soft. She kissed him, warm, and slow, and golden. Enough to tell him he could spend a lifetime of mornings waking up with her like this.

  “Banks, I…”

  He shook his head.

  “It’s okay.”

  Her hand moved from his cheek to his jaw, sliding down his neck, over his shoulder, until it came to rest on the bare skin above his hip.

  “It’s not okay,” she said. “But I hope you understand, and I hope you can be patient. The last man who told me he loved me abandoned me here. I feel it. I’m just not ready. I’ll get there. I just need time.”

  “Darlin’, if you need time, I’ve got time.”

  “I know it’s not fair to ask you to wait on me.”

  “Why don’t you let me worry about fair. It’s what you do when you love somebody.”

  “It’s a big job. Me. And Jellybean. It’s a lot to ask of someone who has already loved me for a while, never mind someone who newly loves me.”

  “I’m up for it,” he said. “I don’t know how to be a dad—I didn’t have anybody to model that for me. I don’t know what I’m doing when it comes to Jellybean.”

  “You think I know how to be a mom? Not likely,” she said with a laugh. “Not very many women, pregnant f
or the first time, have that bit figured out. We’ll learn as we go—together. If you’re up to it. I figure love is the most important part about being a parent. And that, I have in abundance. You just said you’ve got it, too. I think we’ll be just fine.”

  “Then we’ll figure it out together. Plus, we’ve got Nan. She’s raised her fair share of babies, and don’t they say it takes a village?”

  “Speaking of which, I guess this isn’t a secret anymore,” she said, gesturing between the two of them. “The whole town knows we’re together.”

  “I don’t care if the whole world knows.”

  —THIRTY—

  The smell of cooking food greeted Banks when he stepped out of the shower. All that and breakfast to boot. He pulled on his jeans and rounded the corner out of the bedroom to find her shifting foot to foot in front of the stove in his Wrangler shirt from the night before, humming along to a new country song on the radio. Like something out of a movie, her shapely legs poked out from under the shirt bare, and it crossed his mind that she might not be wearing anything underneath.

  He hadn’t been this singularly focused on sex since he was a teenager.

  He moved through the open concept apartment, making enough noise to alert her that he was there, and then scooped in behind her, winding his arms around her waist and landing his mouth on the curve where her shoulder met her neck. She wiggled back against him, squealing with mirth, which only encouraged his dirty thoughts.

  “What’d I do to deserve this?” he asked against her flesh.

  “Jellybean was hungry,” she said with a giggle. She had a pan full of bacon sizzling away under a splash screen and was working scrambled eggs with a spatula. At the mention of her name, Banks felt Jellybean jump under his hands again.

  “I wasn’t talking about the food, but that’s good too.”