Every Action (The Gifted Realm Book 3)

by Jillian Neal

  She let her tongue sweep in his mouth and fill him with the very essence of her. He pulled her tighter to him. He was desperate to feel more of her, but she pulled away. He shuddered as she broke from the kiss. He couldn’t fight it. The emotion threatened to drown him in a tidal wave once again.

  “Rainer, look at me.” Emily’s voice calm and soothing. “You didn’t do anything wrong, and don’t you dare stand there calling yourself a murderer, don’t you dare!” Rainer convulsed at the word as she began sobbing. “Because you are not that!” Emily vowed. “You saved my life. You saved Keaton and Henry. I couldn’t hold the shield anymore. The ring doesn’t work like that. It’s a huge amount of energy at first, but I have to be emotionally able to keep it up.” He shook his head and stared at the ground.

  “Look at me!” She demanded again. He let his head rise to study her. “What do you say to me when it storms and you hold me in our bed and the thunder scares me?” Rainer didn’t reply. “You say I’ve got you, Em, and I’ll never let anything happen to you. I’ll never let you go. And when Henry is afraid, and he wants you and you pick him up you always say, it’s ok little man I’ve got you. That’s exactly what you did, Rainer. You had us, and you didn’t let us go. That’s not a murderer, Rainer. That’s the most amazing man I’ve ever met or that I’ll ever know.” She wiped away her own tears and clenched her jaw before she continued.

  “The choice you had was me or him. That was the only choice. So tell me, do you still think you should’ve chosen differently because there wasn’t another option?” With that, he wrapped his arms around her and sobbed convulsively.

  “I was so damn scared, Em. I was terrified.” He shuddered.

  “I know,” Emily held him tightly. She let him cry for a long while until she finally brushed away the last of his tears.

  “See, I’m the lucky one because I didn’t have to be brave or be the hero because I have you. So I didn’t have to make a decision like that, but I am so proud of you. You were amazing, Rainer. Hey,” she soothed. “Do you remember when we were little and I almost ran into that copperhead by the swing set?” She asked sweetly.

  “Yeah,” he rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands and then massaged his temples.

  “Do you remember what your dad said to you when you got between me and the snake, and then when you took me back up to the porch?” Rainer tried desperately to believe what she was telling him. Emily smiled at him. She kept him tucked tightly to her. “He said ‘Take Emily back up to the porch son. Keep her safe.’” She reminded him.

  “And then after Dad killed the snake he said ‘That was very brave Rainer. You took such good care of Emily. I’m so proud of you.’” She completed his father’s vow verbatim. “And you know what? That’s exactly what he would say to you if he were standing in this room with us right now.”

  “I hope,” he choked. He just couldn’t reconcile what everyone had been telling him all evening.

  “I know,” she urged. Then she continued to remove her clothes. She fumbled with the buttons on her blouse. He pulled her to him. He helped her remove her shirt and threw it on the floor. He was desperate to feel her again. He brushed his hands over her face and stroked her cheeks with his thumbs tenderly. She leaned in and angled her head upward towards his.

  He let the tip of his tongue trace gently over her kiss swollen lips, and she opened them slightly. She moved her bottom lip between his allowing him to trace and suck it as he inhaled deeply and filled all of his senses with her.

  She pulled away slightly, and he brushed soft kisses from her lips, down her neck, and across her collarbone. He listened as a soft moan escaped her.

  After pulling everything else she was wearing off, she began to strip him. She fumbled with his belt buckle. Her hands were shaking. He stopped her.

  “I’ve got it, baby.” He reassured.

  “Rainer,” she hushed as she climbed into the warm bed and waited on him to join her.

  “Hmm?” He managed.

  “Come here.” she beckoned as he stripped. He moved quickly to her. He sank into the soft bed and wrapped her up in his arms. “Everything will be ok.” She soothed as he pulled her closer.

  He finally decided to just believe her, to shut down the impending doom that swirled violently in his head. He held her as she moved so that every part of him was touching a part of her. She let her energy swirl around him. It swathed him and cosseted him in the serenity of her.

  “Do you remember the night after my dad and everyone found out about the belly shot?” She whispered in the moonlit room.

  “Yeah,” Rainer wondered what had her thinking about that.

  “And you remember we were in bed, and I told you that I wanted you to take it all away, to make everything else disappear even for just a little while?”

  “Yeah,” Rainer remembered it was the first time he’d casted her while they’d made love.

  “Yeah, well,” Emily kissed his chest and rubbed her hands over his naked body as she pushed her delicious, soothing energy into him. “You have always been my Shield, Rainer. You’ve always protected me. I can make it all go away for a little while too, if you want, because, I’m your Receiver, Rainer. Let me have everything you try so hard to keep in your Shield. That’s why I’m here on this Earth to be that for you. That’s how my whole world works.” She offered, and he stopped short of turning her down instantly.

  As he felt her energy surrounding him, he was desperate for more. He was suddenly desperate to permeate her so that she could fill him completely. He was desperate for relief from the harrowing grief and the crushing guilt. With sudden need like he’d never known before, he knew he didn't want to think about all of it anymore. He couldn’t. It was too much to work through. It was too much to try to carry. He wanted to get lost in her and to fill her with him. He needed to hear the sweet sounds she made when they were together. He wanted to wrap himself up in her, to breathe in her scent, to taste her, to feel her, and make her feel him. He wanted desperately to drown in her energy.

  She seemed to understand what he needed so emphatically at that moment as she rolled to her side and traced her hands down his chest and then up his length. He shuddered. He knew he'd never deserve her or the amazing way she understood him, but overwhelming thankfulness filled his soul as he moaned and captured her lips with his again. He devoured her mouth like he'd never tasted anything so sweet. He moved his lips down her neck and then brushing tender kisses across her breasts. He laved her with his tongue and drank in the sweet, salty dew on her skin as she gave him a hushed moan. They swelled for him.

  He trembled as he traced his hands down her body working from instinct alone. She swayed beside him. She was still moving her hand over him and making him leave all thought for another time. She was able to make him do nothing but feel. He let his fingers play softly just outside of her swollen lips as she shivered deliciously under his touch.

  To know her, to know where she liked to be touched, to know how she sounded when she lost control, the way she looked, the way she tensed, the knowledge overwhelmed him. He wanted to make love to her all night. He needed to push the world away from them. He needed to exist only in the ecstasy of the two of them together.

  He kissed her again. He was still tracing her. With slight, tender touches that elicited sweet sighs of love and need. He panted as her breath caught as she blinked heavily and held his eyes with her own.

  She spread her legs for him, and he groaned. The feeling was once again overwhelming. He would never deserve everything she offered him. He let the tip of his finger trace over where he entered her, and she shuddered deliciously with a soft moan.

  It was a sound of expectation that he would allow her to make the world slip away, if only for a little while. That together they could get lost in each other. They could cling to the only thing that really mattered and let everything else go. His mind was at war with his body. He didn’t deserve her. He didn’t deserve this. He’d just killed his uncle.
This was wrong. He couldn’t drown the horrible day in her. He didn’t deserve the reprieve, but she moved her luscious curves against him, arched her back so her breasts fell against his chest, and her energy flowed in heavy soothing waves of warmth and healing love all around him.

  Desperation permeated his entire being. It filled his heart and his soul. She was everything, and when he held her, when he touched her, when he was with her, as no one else had ever been or would ever be, it seemed everything might really be all right. There was hope in the way they moved together as one.

  He traced over her once more and then slipped his fingers inside of her. He let her moan pull him towards ecstasy. He surrendered to his own desire, his desperate need. He drowned in the futility of the war. He was fraught with terror. His heart ached, and she was the only cure. He gave himself over to her. He let her energy surround him, let her bind him, and heal his aching desperation.

  The wet heat that contained the sweet ecstasy of her slipped around his fingers as a groan overtook him. The physical form of her energy overwhelmed him and made him whole once again. Her responses to him were all consuming. She was perfect. She was his other half, like a puzzle that needed no other pieces to be complete.

  She bucked as he stroked her. He moved his fingers to where she was most sensitive and reveled again in his knowledge of her.

  The slick, wet heat poured from her now as she shuddered. Her eyes closed as she let him begin to wash away the burdens the world had strained upon them. She tensed and swelled in his hands ripe from his tender touches in just the right places. A moan hung on her lips as her breath caught.

  The deeper he pushed the more of her filled him as he concentrated. He wanted to give her everything. He wanted to revel in the ecstasy of the two of them together and let the world fade away.

  Just before she lost it completely, she moaned again and let everything else go. She relaxed around him and let him drive her. She let him take her where he wanted her to be.

  He swirled his fingers inside of her once more, and she broke. She panted, and writhed. She called out for him as her muscles seized around his hand.

  He watched her. Her face contorted in ecstasy. Her body tensed and rolled from his touch. Unable to draw it out any longer, desperation permeated his soul.

  She opened her eyes and gazed into his as he moved over her. He kissed her. He sucked her luscious lips and her tongue. He explored her, tasted her intoxicating energy, and felt selfish for drinking down all she was offering and coming back for more of the healing she offered.

  She broke away and gasped for breath. She raised her hips.

  “I want you.” She breathed in heady need “I want you to make me yours. I want you to take all of me, Rainer. I want to make it better. I want every single piece of you. I love each and every part of you.” It wasn't a plea she'd planned or uttered to add to his enjoyment. It was the way their world worked. She needed him and he her. Nothing else mattered, and letting all of the horrors of the world go he spread her swollen lips, wet from need and from his caresses, and he pushed into her slowly.

  He allowed himself to feel her and nothing else as she surrounded him. She enveloped him inch by inch. She gasped as he stretched her and formed her around his length. He groaned from the utter bliss. The way she felt as she wrapped tightly around him like she was made for him alone.

  It was complete perfection. She surrounded him not only in her body but in her energy. She healed him thoroughly.

  He began to thrust slowly, gently as she took him deeper. Her body moved in time with his. They moved in perfect accord without pretense or lust. It was with deep, penetrating love that their energy spun together and soothed them both.

  She writhed around him and met his every thrust. She pulled him deeper and tighter as she swelled around him. She encased him in the sweetest silk. Her body moved until they were one.

  A shuddered moan evulsed from her mouth. She called out for him. His name caught on her lips as he brought her nearer. He groaned as his body began to feel stronger as the horrors the day had brought began to slip away. She drained him of the dismay and the terror. She pulled it all from his shield and filled it with her devoted, adoring love.

  He needed to hear her, needed her to call his name, to moan and pant, and let him know that he was meeting all of her needs. He needed to know that he was everything she needed him to be in that moment and forever.

  He met her with reassurances all his own. He pushed and rocked her. He nurtured her and tended to her every desire because fulfilling her was all that mattered. It drove him as his heart pounded and he panted and sweated from the effort. The feeling of her enveloping him and calling for him to fill her drove him wild.

  He was consumed with nothing but her. She filled his senses and completed him thoroughly. Her body climaxed around his, and he let himself go with her. He filled her with all of him as they drowned the tedium of the world in the mix of their release.

  As she writhed and called for him, he clung to her. He allowed no space between their bodies as he withdrew from her begrudgingly. She refused to release him. She held him tightly and kept her arms wrapped around his chest and back. Their legs remained entangled together. His release brought on drowning exhaustion as he held her tightly. He clung to her as she somehow continued to soothe him.

  “Rainer,” she hushed.

  “What baby?” He finally seemed to recognize the sound of his own voice.

  “Go to sleep. I’ve got you, and I’ll never let you go.” She quoted his line for her as he kissed her forehead and thanked God for all he had when he held her.

  Two Ways

  Rainer awoke the next morning, after having been up several times in the night. He would awaken with his heart racing and his body covered in sweat from the horrific nightmares.

  Emily had been right there each and every time to soothe him back to sleep, but this time he was all alone. Panic seared through his veins as he frantically searched the room.

  “Em?” He pled, and suddenly she was there.

  “I’m so sorry.” She moved back into bed, having appeared from the bathroom.

  “No, it’s ok.” Rainer lied. He had to get it together. He chastised himself. He couldn’t go on like this. She deserved a man not a child.

  “How are you feeling?” She traced her hand up and down his chest. Her energy was weaker. He could tell instantly. She’d soothed him all night, and she was still exhausted. Guilt settled harshly in the pit of Rainer’s stomach. He was supposed to take care of her not the other way around. He shook his head disgusted with himself.

  “I’m sorry, Em. I really lost it last night.”

  “Rainer,” Emily stunned in a huff. “Sweetheart, you know this is supposed to work two ways. I’m going to be your wife, and you certainly took care of me yesterday. Let me take care of you now. You don’t have to be ok for me, and if you need to talk then I’ll listen, and if you need to sleep then I’ll be right here, and if you just want to stay holed up here in the house then all I want is to be right beside you. And sometimes life isn’t going to go exactly the way we planned or the way we want, and sometimes it’s really gonna suck, but as long as we always turn to each other to deal with the bad times then I know it’s gonna be a really great life.” Rainer cradled her closely and kissed her cheek.

  “I could never ever tell you how much I love you or what you mean to me, Em, but I know I don’t deserve you.” He swallowed harshly and refused to give in to any more emotion other than his love for her.

  “That isn’t true, and I love you too.” She admonished with a sweet grin.

  “Let’s go back to sleep, baby. I’m sorry I kept you up all night.” He admitted sheepishly.

  “Oh, you mean like when you barely slept for two weeks straight because you refused to leave my hospital room.” She reminded him. “See, baby, both ways.”

  “All right I got it.” Rainer brushed another kiss across her cheek. He was still reveling in her energy. H
is voice was gravelly from his sobbing the night before.

  “Now would you like to sleep some more or do you want some breakfast?” She quizzed with a slight yawn.

  “I really want to hold you beside me and try my damnedest to let us both sleep some more.” He tried to mentally repose himself enough to let everything that had happened the day before go, at least for a little while.

  It was after one in the afternoon the next time Rainer awoke. His eyes blinked open and he drew a deep breath. He took a moment to revel in Emily still laying on his chest, completely naked. He never wanted to leave the bed. He thought to himself. He just wanted to lie there holding her and ignore the rest of the world. It was too much. He just couldn’t deal with it anymore.

  A memory erupted in his mind suddenly. He and Logan were walking around the lake, freezing, and thirteen and a half years old. The half had been extremely important then, Rainer recalled wryly. Mrs. Haydenshire had urged Logan to talk to Rainer.

  The custody trial had been the night before, and Rainer’s formerly black eye still ached; though, Governor Haydenshire had healed it as soon as he’d gotten his hands on him. At thirteen years of age, Logan had no idea what to say to Rainer.

  “It’s really cool you get to live with us now.” He’d commented hopefully.

  “Yeah,” Rainer kicked a stone haphazardly with the toe of his sneaker. As excited as he was to not have to live with his uncle anymore, he didn’t want to live at the farm. He wanted to live with his dad. He wanted to go home, and for his father to come home from the Senate, and make him dinner, and ask him about his day, and about Emily, and to help him with his homework. Logan had nodded uncomfortably but had nothing else to offer as thirteen-year-old boys are neither verbose nor extremely apathetic.

  As they walked, exhaustion had overtaken Rainer. He’d spent the two previous nights on the stoop of his uncle’s apartment. Stan had locked him out with no dinner as he’d left to pick up a prostitute and some liquor.