Risk the Fall

by Steph Campbell

“What are you reading?” I ask. I’m hoping to start some form of conversation so I can slip in, FYI, I have a serious boyfriend.

  “Morning, Sydney,” he says without glancing up. He flips his book closed, holding his place with his index finger to show me the cover.

  “Spoon River Anthology?” I ask. “Any good?”

  “Yep.”

  “What’s it about?”

  “The short version? It’s about people’s lives and their losses.” His voice is uncharacteristically standoffish.

  “Oh, well, maybe I’ll give it a shot,” I say. He nods and looks back down at his book. “Listen, Grant. I just wanted to thank you again for taking me home when I was sick.”

  He finally closes the book and turns toward me with a soft sigh. His lips curve into their typical, charming smile. But there’s something else. Something more behind it. I can’t tell if it’s a good thing, or a bad thing.

  “And I’ll tell you again, Sydney, it was my pleasure. Anytime.”

  “Well, see, that’s the thing,” I say. I twist a lock of hair around my pencil nervously. “I don’t know if I mentioned this before, but I, um, I have a boyfriend.” I pause, waiting for him to respond.

  “Nope, you didn’t mention it,” he says flatly. Crap. I’d been wrong. He was interested in me…

  “Look, I’m really sorry for not mentioning it before—”

  “Sydney, it’s fine. I’m up for a little friendly competition,” he says with a confident smile.

  Chills run up my arms, my back and my neck. Did he really just say that?

  “It won’t be friendly,” I mumble softly.

  “I can handle it.”

  I can’t.

  I’m not sure what else to say. I glance up at him from under the protection of my hair, waiting for him to speak. He takes a deep breath as if he’s thoughtfully weighing his words.

  “Listen, Sydney. You didn’t tell me that you were seeing someone. But your boyfriend, Trevor, I guess is his name, he did let me know.”

  My eyes bulge as Trevor’s words from earlier run through my mind: I had something to take care of really quick. He must have confronted Grant. I wipe my sweaty palms on my jeans.

  “I’m so sorry,” is all I can eke out.

  Grant shrugs his shoulders coolly. “It’s fine. Really. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable the other day.”

  “No. It’s not that. I appreciate you bringing me home, and the soup and everything… I just don’t want you to think that I put him up to this,” I say.

  “I believe you. He said you had nothing to do with it.”

  “Really? What else did he say?” I ask. I want every single detail, but judging by Grant’s cool demeanor, I’m not going to get much else.

  “Not much. Just that he wanted to introduce himself and let me know that you two are exclusive. And that I shouldn’t cross any boundaries. That’s it.” He really doesn’t seem bothered by any of it.

  “I don’t know what to say.”

  “There’s nothing to say, Sydney. I don’t want to complicate your life, or your relationships. And honestly, you may get upset with me for saying this, but it seems to me that you deserve much better than him,” Grant says. He flips his book back open, abruptly ending our conversation.

  I immediately feel myself get defensive. Who the hell is he to say who and what I deserve? He barely knows me.

  “Grant, that’s not fair. You don’t know anything.”

  He looks up from his book again and smiles. Toothy and cocky.

  “I know that every time I’m around you I want to kiss you,” he says matter-of-factly.

  Heat fills my face. I’ve never been so glad to hear Mrs. Drez’s raspy throat clearing. If she hadn’t interrupted, I would have had to leave class.

  When I finally get to English later in the day, I can’t wait to fill Quinn in on what happened.

  “You’re not going to believe this,” I say.

  Quinn smirks. “Uh-oh, what’d the douche-nozzle do this time?”

  “Quinn, seriously, just listen.”

  She listens wide-eyed as I air my Trevor-Grant drama. Omitting the teeny-tiny kiss, so small, it isn’t even worth mentioning. Or Grant’s comment about wanting to do it again. My stomach flops remembering that detail of our conversation.

  When I finish, Quinn smirks. “You should totally break up with Trevor and go for Grant!”

  “Come on! I’m upset here!”

  “I know you are. And I so wish that I had your problems!” she snickers. “But seriously, Syd. What the hell? Possessive much? Why did Trevor speak to Grant?”

  I lean back in my chair and cross my arms over my chest.

  “I don’t know. It does bother me. But what bothers me even more is Grant’s comment about me deserving better. Who does he think he is?” I slam my English book on my desk in frustration and everyone near me turns to stare.

  “Well, Syd, I hate to say that I agree with him, but you know I do,” she shrugs. Her lips twitch like she’s fighting off a smile. I sort of dislike my best friend right now.

  I know how she feels about Trevor, but she has no good reason for it, so I refuse to listen. He’s never been anything but nice to her. Grant has just strolled right into my life and made a huge mess out of everything. From this second on, I refuse to let him do it any longer.

  “Seriously, Quinn, give it a rest,” I say. My tone nears callous. Quinn, her eyebrows raised in shock, shakes her head before turning to face forward.

  I sigh and let my tense shoulders fall, feeling more than defeated. Not only has Grant caused an argument between me and Trevor, but he’s sparked a fight with my best friend as well. Super.

  “This week has flown by. I have been training harder and harder in gym in preparation for Nationals.” Thankfully, Trevor hasn’t brought up the Grant situation at all, and I’ve been steering clear of it, too. “I finished up a major project at school, so that’s a load off of me.” Grant and I are barely speaking. There’s nothing more than a brief exchange of words while passing worksheets to each other, or an “excuse me,” if we accidently touch. I hate that things are so awkward, but it’s really for the best. “And, right now, what I’m most excited about is that tonight is my Junior Prom! I’ve got everything packed up and ready to go to gym this morning, then I’ll be headed over to my best friend’s house to get ready. I can’t wait to share the details of tonight with you guys!” That’s a lie. I hope I can avoid the cameras and enjoy the night with Trevor and my friends. In peace. I never get to spend time with the people I care about anymore. Between school, gym, and Trevor, I’m lucky Quinn and Tessa haven’t ditched me altogether. “I’ll check in with you later and let you know how it all went!”

  “Morning!” Dad calls from his office as I rush by the door. I quickly back up.

  “Good morning!” I beam.

  “You all set for tonight? Do you need anything?”

  I shake my head. “I think I’m good.”

  “And you’re still staying at Quinn’s house after the dance?” he asks.

  My heart is racing already. I made up the story about staying at Quinn’s last week, but at least I finally told him something, right?

  “Yep. A bunch of us.”

  “I’ll be home if you need anything,” he says. I smile at the sight of him tucking his drafting pencil behind his ear. I turn to walk away and he calls me back.

  “Hey, Syd?”

  I freeze, waiting for the interrogation.

  “Be careful. And give me a call before you go to bed. Let me know you girls are safe, okay?” His concern touches me. And makes me feel like an even bigger jerk for lying.

  “Sure Dad.” I nod.

  “Love you, kiddo.” He pulls the pencil out from behind his ear and looks back down at his blueprints.

  I have to get out of here. My guilt is growing by the second. I grab my bag and dress and hurry out the door.

  Despite my best efforts to persuade him otherwise, Sam isn’t
convinced that prom is a good enough excuse to miss my evening workout. I have to promise him that I’ll come in tomorrow morning and work out alone to make up the time.

  After gym I head to Tessa’s only to find that Quinn is already there. Tessa’s room is quickly a mess of make-up bags, dresses and shoes.

  “So, is Grant going to be there tonight?” Quinn asks, swiping eyeliner along her eyelid expertly.

  “I don’t have a clue. We don’t speak,” is all I offer.

  “Oh!” Tessa gasps. Her outburst almost causes me to stab myself in the eye with my mascara brush. “I finally saw him! Grant I mean,” she says.

  Her enthusiasm makes Quinn grin, and I roll my eyes.

  “In my Library Science class,” she continues. “He was returning a book. Something about spoons. Weird. Anyway, I noticed his name.” She seems awfully pleased with herself for remembering the details of their minor encounter.

  “And?” I say, trying unsuccessfully to mask my annoyance.

  “Sorry, Syd. Quinn’s right. He is super delicious.”

  Quinn chuckles. “Told you so.”

  “I don’t mean anything by it, Sydney,” Tess insists. “I was just saying that I saw him, and he’s … attractive.”

  I stare at my hands for a minute. Why are we even talking about Grant? Today is supposed to be about me and Trevor, I don’t want to think about anyone else.

  “Your eye makeup looks amazing, Quinn,” I say softly. Unable to ignore the compliment of her skill, Quinn smiles and offers to do mine as well. Works like a charm.

  “How is it possible that we’re running late? We’ve been at this all day,” Tess says looking at her watch.

  We all dress as quickly as possible. Quinn is in her peacock dress with a green and gold necklace and large green ring. Tess’s jewelry is more my speed. Simple. Tiny diamond studs dot her ears, and a thin diamond necklace is clasped around her neck. I want to ask if her jewelry is real, since her mom has recently “married-up”, but I guess asking would be tacky.

  My jewelry probably doesn’t match my dress the best that it could, but there’s no way I’d pass up a chance to wear it. A thin strand of freshwater pearls and matching bracelet. They had been my mothers. She and my dad had vacationed in Monterey, California for their anniversary a couple of months before she was killed, and Dad had bought them for her on the trip. The pearls are simple and beautiful, just like my mom was. I’d been waiting for a special occasion to wear them. I keep them locked up in my jewelry box; they’re more valuable than any medal, of any color, I’ve ever won.

  “You look perfect,” Tessa says sweetly, gesturing toward the pearls. I smile back at her, just as Quinn stomps her foot on the wood floor impatiently with her hand resting on her hip.

  “Easy, Quinn, we’re coming,” Tessa says.

  Tess’s mom floats by excitedly as we hurry down the stairs.

  “Come on! The boys are outside!” she says, grabbing her camera off the mantel. My stomach twists. This is it. I take a long, deep breath. This is the night I will always remember. The biggest night of my life so far.

  Tessa’s family has a beautiful home. The back deck overlooks a large pond, the perfect backdrop for our photos.

  I smile when I see Trevor with Quinn’s date, Daniel, and Tessa’s date, Oliver, near the water. I feel a little guilty that Trevor is here with all of my friends, rather than with his before his own senior prom. We had compromised though – we’d meet here with my friends, since all of his would be at the lake house afterwards.

  For once I’m able to sneak up behind Trevor. I playfully grab his sides and he turns around, with a big, cheesy grin plastered across his face. He picks me up and whirls me around effortlessly. I feel like a giddy kid.

  “You are stunning,” he says. He nuzzles his nose into the nape of my neck and holds me at eye level in his sturdy arms.

  “You don’t look so bad yourself,” I murmur. I see the effect I have on him when the skin on his neck is covered in goose bumps. I never realized that I could make him nervous, too. I hear Tessa’s mom shouting directions of where to stand, and how to pose for the photos, but I ignore her and kiss Trevor instead.

  “Seriously, guys, quit so Tess’s mom will shut up,” Quinn says.

  “All right,” Trevor says. He kisses me lightly once more, then sets me down.

  The photo shoot seems to go on forever before, thankfully, Tess’s mom’s camera battery dies. She tells us all to wait for her backup battery, but Tess finally convinces her that she’s gotten enough shots so we can leave.

  Tess and Quinn are going in one car with their dates and I’m going with Trevor in his Range Rover. He tosses my overnight bag in the back and we’re on our way. Prom is being held at an historic theatre in downtown Atlanta. The theme is “A Night on the Nile”. Mostly because the event was being held in the Egyptian ballroom of the restored theatre, and our prom committee was less than creative. I hadn’t been to the theatre since my mom took Maisy and me to see The Nutcracker about five years ago.

  Trevor reaches over and takes my hand with his free hand, while the other rests on the bottom of the steering wheel.

  “You really do look beautiful,” he says, kissing the top of each of my knuckles. “Are you ready?” he asks as we pull into the parking lot.

  “Totally ready.”

  People are spilling out on to the street outside the theatre, waiting to get inside

  “Nervous?” Trevor asks as we make our way through the crowd.

  “Nope. Not at all,” I lie. I look up to see if he buys my faux confidence, but he’s already surveying the room, looking for his friends.

  The inside of the theatre is phenomenal. I guess I’d half-expected to see crepe paper and balloons, but, instead, the formal room overwhelms me. It looks like it was decorated for a real ball or a black tie wedding, not some high school kids’ dance. There’s a grand marble stairway, trays of elegant finger foods, and most of my classmates are unrecognizable in their formal wear.

  Trevor leads me to the dance floor, and my nerves return. I’m not that great of a dancer. I’m better at precise, choreographed movements, like in gymnastics, rather than things that require actual rhythm. Luckily, there are a few slow songs that I can manage. When the loud, thumping bass returns, I start to pull away.

  “I’m going to see if I can find Quinn and Tess.” Trevor nods with a grin. He’s such a good sport.

  “That’s fine,” he says. The cheesy smile hasn’t left his face all night. I can’t even imagine what it will look like in the morning.

  “What?” I ask.

  “Nothing. I’m just happy. Go. Find your friends. I’ll be here when you’re done,” he says. Two of his lacrosse team mates arrive at his side and I leave him to catch up with them.

  I survey the room looking for Quinn or Tess, but the crowd is too thick for me to see anything, even taking into account the high heels making me almost the height of a normal human being. I don’t know if it’s claustrophobia from the sea of people, or the fact that I haven’t really eaten today, but I start to feel shaky and weak. I make my way to the food tables and grab a piece of chocolate-covered honeydew melon. I glance across the table for something salty to pair with the sweet melon. The tasty looking crostinis remind me of something that Quinn made a while back and I reach for one, just as someone else reaches for the same.

  “Sorry,” I say. I jerk my hand back.

  “It’s all yours.” It’s Grant. Looking nothing short of dashing. His messy hair is slightly more tame than usual, but not by much. He isn’t wearing a tux like every other guy here. Instead, he’s dressed in a simple gray suit and thick black tie.

  “Oh,” I say. I’m suddenly flustered.

  “Sydney,” he greets me with a nod.

  “Thanks,” I say, picking up the tiny piece of bread he just sacrificed.

  “Don’t mention it. You look nice.”

  I glance around the room, trying to place Trevor in the crowd, hoping to my
self that he has his back to me somewhere.

  “Thanks. Who are you here with?” I ask.

  “Shayna Gillan,” he says. Of course. Shayna Gillan, the quintessential high school girl that has it all. She’s obnoxiously beautiful, wealthy, on every committee imaginable. And, naturally, a cheerleader. I’m actually surprised she’s here with Grant, only because she typically only dates older guys. I guess if you were to make an exception to your rule, though, Grant would be worth it. I mentally scold myself for thinking about him like that.

  “Huh,” I mutter.

  “She asked, and I didn’t want to be rude,” he says, shrugging his shoulders.

  “Of course not. Well, have a good time,” I say, turning slowly away from him.

  “Sydney,” he calls after me.

  I spin around, wondering what on earth there is possibly left to say between us.

  “If I had my choice, I’d be here with someone else tonight.”

  I feel my cheeks fill with color, and I just stand there speechless. He looks totally sincere, his deep eyes gazing at me thoughtfully. Hadn’t we already been over this, though?

  I’m so dazed, Shayna manages to appear out of nowhere, linking her overly tan arm through Grant’s and clutching him close. I can’t be sure, but I swear he winced away from her touch. Shayna looks stunning. Her long, blonde hair flows into perfect curls down her back, and her dress is way too sophisticated for a high school dance. It’s gold and completely beaded, and the front plunges so low, I’m surprised it successfully covered anything at all. I’m certain there’s some sort of tape involved.

  “There you are,” Quinn says, walking up with Tess, both of their eyebrows peaked.

  I nod. “Um, Grant, these are my best friends, Quinn and Tessa. And you guys both know Shayna.”

  “Nice to meet you both,” Grant says politely.

  Shayna is looking increasingly annoyed.

  “Your dress is gorgeous,” I say to her.

  Her lips form a tight line. She’s so damn unapproachable.

  “It should be for what I paid for it. I had to have it made especially for me since I have a twenty-two inch waist, you know,” she states smugly.