I LIKE THE WAY YOU HURT: A Dark Interracial High School Bully Romance

by Lorrain Allen

  “Easy, man.” Micah pulls him back.

  “You know what, I’m done. I’m done with you.”

  “You don’t mean that, Saint.” I start to cry.

  He walks away.

  “Where are you going?” asks Lo.

  “Back to Los Angeles.”

  “It’s almost 11:00 p.m.,” says Micah.

  “I don’t give a shit. I’ll take my motorcycle and leave the truck for Lo and you.”

  “I can’t let you leave upset like this,” Micah tells him. “You’re not in the right frame of mind. It’s dangerous.”

  “Who’s going to stop me?”

  Micah steps in his way.

  “I don’t want to fight you, man,” says Saint.

  “You’re going to have to.”

  “Stop, you have never fought each other, so don’t start now,” says Lo.

  Saint swings at Micah, who ducks to avoid the hit. Micah swings back, striking Saint in the jaw, causing him to fall to the ground. Saint trips Micah, and he falls to the ground, too. They start rolling around, hitting each other.

  “Stop this!” I yell, crying uncontrollably. “You’re best friends. Don’t do this to each other.”

  “We’ll all leave tonight,” says Lo.

  A few hours ago, I was so happy, but now my world has shattered. They stop fighting. Micah stands first then helps Saint to his feet.

  “Fine but grab my stuff. I’m not going back inside that house. I want out of this fucking town, and away from her.” Saint points at me.

  “I love you, Saint.”

  “Shut the fuck up, Cocoa! Just shut the fuck up!” He yells before walking down the road.

  Lo goes into the house to get their stuff.

  “I didn’t mean for this to happen,” I tell Micah.

  Micah gives me a hug. “I know, just give him some time. He doesn’t mean what he’s saying. He’s just hurt.”

  “I love you.”

  “I love you, too.”

  Lo comes out of the house with their belongings. Micah ends our embrace, walking over to grab the bags from Lo.

  “I know you don’t feel that way about Saint, but why that asshole, Cocoa?” asks Lo.

  “I don’t know. Part of me hates him, but I want him, too. I know that doesn’t make sense.”

  “It makes perfect sense. You want the one person that you shouldn’t. It’s the thrill, the forbidden.” Lo gives me a tight hug.

  “I wish we had more time to spend together. You guys drove all this way. I’m so sorry.”

  “It’s okay, come to Los Angeles soon. Love you.”

  “Love you, too.”

  My heart breaks as I watch the truck disappear down the dirt road.

  John is in my face as soon as I step through the kitchen door from the garage, holding his cell phone.

  “Maverick, this has gone too far.”

  “Leave me the fuck alone John.” I move to walk past him.

  I snatch my arm away when he clutches it to stop me. Turning, I wrap my fingers around his neck, slamming him into the refrigerator.

  “Don’t you ever touch me again, John. That’s one thing that I won’t tolerate from you ever again.” I release his neck.

  I pace back and forth when I get to my bedroom. I knew one taste wouldn’t be enough. Now, she’s etched permanently in my mind.

  Fuck, I want more of her right now.

  It’s taking me considerable effort not to hop in my jeep and drive to her house.

  I’ve never been this intimate when fucking a girl. It’s always been doggy style, with limited touching and absolutely no kissing. What the fuck is she doing to me?

  Fuck.

  It’s been a little over a week since the carnival incident and it’s still the talk of the whole school. The constant whispers and looks are grating on my nerves. The day after the incident, I pretended to be sick so that I could have an excuse to stay home from school. I just couldn’t face Maverick or Dee and Nix for that matter. They’re witnesses to what occurred in the back of that jeep. I don’t know if I could take seeing their knowing glances.

  I’m not nervous about an unexpected pregnancy. I’ve been taking birth control pills for the last year and a half. It’s not like me to hide from my problems, I usually meet them head-on with a smile, but Maverick has broken me down until I don’t recognize myself anymore. I stayed in my room that whole weekend.

  By Sunday, I still couldn’t stomach the thought of facing him, so I pretended to be sick again. My mom insisted that she call off from work to take me to the doctor. I pleaded with her not to, telling her that I just needed one more day to recuperate. Thank God my mom or Michael aren’t on social media; they could’ve possibly seen both videos. I know no one showed them the video, because my mom would’ve confronted me about it by now. Talking to my grandmother on Monday helped me feel better. She soothes me like no one else can. I can’t wait to spend Thanksgiving break with her. I need some time away from Montgomery, West Virginia.

  When I arrived at school on Tuesday, I felt like I was going to vomit. Maverick was already sitting in his chair when I entered the classroom. Becoming the recent punk that I am, I made sure to avoid eye contact with him during the entire class. I could feel his eyes on me. It was hard for me to control the tremors taking over my body because I couldn’t stop thinking about how his dick felt sliding through my pussy. I'm halfway to the door before the bell rings. I didn’t go inside the cafeteria all week. At work, I asked Mary if I could help prepare the food so when Maverick, Dee, and Nix did come to the pizzeria, I didn’t have to talk to them.

  This latest debacle with Maverick has put a strain on my friendship with Lo and Micah. I think my friendship with Saint is over. He blocked my number and unfriended me on all social media accounts. I can say, with a clear conscience, that I never led Saint on. I’ve always told him that I don’t feel that way about him, but he just wouldn’t let it go. I’ve talked to Lo and Micah since then, but it hasn’t been the same. I don’t know how Saint and I falling out will affect my friendship with them. It’s been the four of us for so long.

  It was difficult, but I made it through the school week. It’s Saturday now, and I’ve just arrived at Kayla’s house for her twelfth birthday party. It’s one of the larger homes in Montgomery. A few minutes after knocking on the front door, a housekeeper answers.

  “Hi, can I help you?”

  “Hello, I’m here for Kayla’s party.”

  “Wonderful, please follow me.”

  I tag along behind her with my bags. I brought tons of makeup and nail polish. As well as the manicure supplies, both flat and curling irons, and hair products. I also have Kayla’s gift, a makeup kit of her own.

  The housekeeper points to an open door. When Kayla spots me from her bed, she jumps up in excitement.

  “You came,” she yells enthusiastically.

  “Duh, where else did you think I would be?”

  “You’ve brought a lot of goodies.”

  “I sure did.” I notice six other girls in Kayla’s room. “Who are these beautiful young ladies?” I ask as I relieve myself of my burdens.

  Kayla makes the introductions.

  “You’re all in for a treat. I brought my magic bags, so get ready to be slayed,” I say.

  They all squeal in eagerness.

  “Only if you’ve received permission from your guardians, and I need to know about any allergic reactions.”

  I receive confirmation from each girl. Just then, two people enter the room.

  “Cocoa,” says a petite raven-haired beauty. Her hair is the same color as Kayla’s.

  “Yes.”

  “Hi, I’m Maureen, Kayla’s mom,” she says, giving me a big hug. “This is my husband, Evan.”

  Evan has bright red hair.

  “We’ve heard so much about you. Thank you for befriending our Kayla,” Evan says, shaking my hand.

  “You’ve really helped to boost her self-confidence,” Kayla’s mom whispers
for my ears only.

  “Oh, she’s a sweetheart, the little sister I never had. It’s a pleasure to have met Kayla.”

  She’s one of the reasons why living here is worthwhile.

  Kayla takes my hand. “I want you to meet my stepbrother.”

  “Nice to meet you, Maureen and Evan,” I say as Kayla pulls me out the door, down the hall.

  Kayla never mentioned that she had a stepbrother previously.

  Kayla stops at a door before knocking.

  “Come in,” calls a muffled voice from behind the door.

  I follow Kayla, when I see who’s in the bedroom my breath leaves my lungs in a rush.

  Dee, Nix, and Maverick lounge back against a futon playing a video game.

  “Nix, this is my best friend, Cocoa. She’s so pretty, isn’t she? She’s going to style our hair and do our makeup, and manicures,” Kayla says breathlessly, unable to control her exuberance.

  Maverick stands when he sees me. The expression on his face is unreadable. Kayla is too young to feel the sudden tension in the room.

  “That’s Dee and Mav, Nix’s friends.”

  Kayla is still holding my hand.

  “Kayla, I don’t know if I can, if I can…”

  The smile leaves her face. I can’t do this to her. I need to stay for her, despite them being here.

  “Come on, Kayla. Let’s get started on your hair and makeup.”

  Kayla pulls me from the bedroom and I gladly follow behind her. I learn that Kayla’s mom married Nix’s dad when she was four, which is why they don’t have the same last name. Her real dad abandoned them.

  When hair, makeup, and manicures are done, we make our way downstairs to the room where the small party will be held. A few family members have arrived. Everyone is socializing, eating good food, and playing games. I stay clear of the boys. Kayla sticks to me like glue, and introduces me to family members, always telling them how pretty I am. I laugh and joke with the girls. When it’s time to sing happy birthday, I walk back to Kayla’s room to retrieve her birthday gift. On the way back down, I run into Dee on the stairs. He blocks my way, so I move to the left, but he follows me.

  “Move out of my way, Dee.”

  “What’s going on between Mav and you?”

  “Nothing.”

  “That was not nothing in the back of Mav’s jeep.”

  “I don’t want to hear this shit.”

  I step to the right, but he moves with me again, blocking my path.

  “You’re good for him.”

  My eyes widen. That was the last sentence I ever expected to leave Dee’s mouth.

  “I know he can be a real bastard, but there’s a reason for that. His childhood was fucked up, but I can’t tell you anything beyond that. I’ve never seen him react this way over a girl. He really likes you. He just doesn’t know how to express his feelings.”

  “I’m not a fucking therapist, Dee. I can’t help him.” I push past him.

  “You can just give him a chance.”

  A little while later we sing happy birthday, and after cake and ice cream, Kayla opens her gifts. As the party winds down, people begin to leave. I’m organizing Kayla’s gifts, and she received a lot, I hear Nix say, “Thank you,” from behind me.

  “For what?”

  “For being there for Kayla. I can tell that she really likes you. Kayla and I might not have the same blood, but I consider her my sister, and I love her. She’s been so happy lately and more confident in herself, and now I know it’s because of you.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  I don’t know how to take this praise from him.

  After I help Kayla take her gifts to her room, I use the bathroom before I prepare to head home. When I open the door, Maverick is standing at the entrance. He pushes me back and steps inside. He locks the door.

  “What do you want, Maverick”?

  “You know what I want.”

  An involuntary shiver runs through me at his words.

  “Tell me that you don’t want me. We’ll both know it for the lie it is.”

  “I can’t continue doing this with you, Maverick. I can’t control the responses my body has for you, but my brain knows that you’re no good for me. What happened to you? Why do you act the way you do?”

  “Oh, so you want to hold hands and talk about our feelings? I don’t fucking have any.”

  “Fuck you.” I try to get past him.

  He pushes me back. I fall against the sink, causing a jarring pain in my lower back.

  “Don’t make me scream.”

  “We both know you won’t.”

  Maverick walks to me, crowding my space then drops to his knees. He takes off my shoes, placing them by the tub. Next, he undoes the button and zipper of my jeans. I’m incapable of stopping him, because I’m weak and the need I have for him must be sated. He pulls my panties and jeans down my legs, lifting my legs to throw the bundle beside my shoes.

  He attacks my clit aggressively. I moan as I slide my fingers through his hair to pull him closer. Maverick is invading my senses and I’m powerless to stop him. The way his tongue is lashing my pussy is taking me to heights I never could’ve imagined. He causes an unstoppable inferno in my body. When my climax hits me, I bite my lip to keep from screaming out in pleasure.

  Maverick stands to his feet. I grasp his face, bringing his lips to mine for an impassioned kiss. He latches onto my hips, lifting me to position my ass on the sink. Maverick tugs his jeans and boxers down.

  He seizes my thighs, spreading them wide to move between them, thrusting his length brutally until he’s seated completely inside. I pull my lips from his mouth as a small moan escapes me then drop my head to his shoulder. Maverick begins to move inside me. His fucking is unrestrained and aggressive. I bring my lips back to his to restart our kissing. He picks me up, turning to slam my back against the wall. His hands are gripping the back of my knees, holding me against the wall as he fucks me with violent vigor. My orgasm is all-consuming. I scratch his back as the power of the climax takes control of my body. I break the kiss, whimpering.

  “Fuck,” murmurs Maverick as his thrusts become untamed. He groans as he releases his semen in the depths of my pussy.

  Our breathing is rapid. He slowly lowers me to the floor. We stare each other, knowing that, at this moment, no matter what is said, the dynamics between us has irrevocably changed forever. Maverick steps away to get some tissue. He wipes between my legs. I close my eyes at the intimacy of his actions.

  “Put your clothes on,” Maverick tells me as he tosses the tissue in the toilet before flushing it.

  Once our clothes are on, I open the door. Dee and Nix are walking up the stairs as we step into the hallway. They watch us leave the bathroom. Cocoa makes a beeline for Kayla’s room. She slams the door shut behind her. Dee and Nix stop in front of me.

  “You love her,” says Nix.

  Dee watches me, waiting for my denial.

  She makes me feel alive and I want things that have never previously entered my mind. She makes me hope, and hope is a dangerous thing. She lit a fire in me that had been extinguished for so long. One wrong move will snuff the flame out forever.

  “I don’t love her. She was available, so I took what I wanted.”

  ‘You’re going to have to admit the truth to yourself sooner or later,” says Dee.

  How can I do that when I don’t know what the truth is my damn self?

  I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. I used to be in complete control of my feelings until Cocoa came here and turned my life upside down. After what happened at Kayla’s birthday party, I shut her out again, pretending like she doesn’t have an effect on me when the truth is I’m completely aware of her. It’s been almost two weeks since I was last inside her.

  I could’ve fucked another girl, but I couldn’t because there’s only one girl I crave now. I’m unfamiliar with this type of need I have in me. For so long, pain was my only sustenance. Football season kept me groun
ded, but the championship game was on the Friday before Kayla’s party. We won, but for me it wasn’t all about the win, it was the rush. The physical exertion from practice and games helped me reach the high I needed, but now I’m running on empty. I fight at the club more often, but it only takes the edge off a little. I need more.

  I need… her.

  Dee, Nix, and I are at a bowling alley in Charleston. Dee and Nix talked me into going out because my attitude has been more volatile lately, according to them. They said I need to get out more, to do other things besides fighting.

  “Strike! That’s what I’m talking about, baby,” shouts Dee like he just won a million bucks.

  “Lucky shot,” says Nix.

  “Were the other several strikes just luck, too? You’re just mad that my score is higher than yours, and I won the last game.”

  “Yeah, but I won the first two games.”

  I didn’t win any games.

  Dee and Nix are super competitive, and they take winning very seriously.

  “Hey guys, it’s nice bumping into you here.”

  We all return Mr. Thompson’s greeting. I didn’t see him approach.

  “This is my wife, Kelly. Kelly, this is Demetrius and Phoenix. You’ve already met Maverick.”

  “It’s nice to meet you, Demetrius and Phoenix. Maverick, it’s good to see you again.”

  “Kelly and I are part of a bowling league. We have a game tonight.”

  “Michael, I’m going to run to the lady’s room before the game starts.”

  “Okay, honey.” After she leaves, Michael turns to us. “It’s my first time seeing you guys here.”

  “This isn’t something we usually do,” says Nix.

  “Oh, okay. How’s Cocoa doing in school?”

  “Okay, I guess. Why?” I ask.

  “It’s just that her mother and I are worried about her. She hasn’t been her usual bubbly self. She didn’t try out for the cheerleading squad, even though she’s been a cheerleader every year since elementary school. She seems out of sorts, and as the weeks go by, it gets worse. Kelly and I think the sudden move is having a negative impact on her. We thought maybe there was some bullying going on at school that she doesn’t want to tell us about. I hate to ask this, but have you noticed anyone bullying her?”