I LIKE THE WAY YOU HURT: A Dark Interracial High School Bully Romance

by Lorrain Allen

  “Listen to me, Kayla. I know it’s hard for you to understand this now, but in several years, you’ll probably never see these kids again. You’ll be graduating from high school and heading to college. What’s happening now doesn’t matter. It doesn’t define who you are and has no bearing on your future.”

  Kayla has a hopeful look in her eyes.

  “Can I let you in on a little secret?” I ask.

  Kayla enthusiastically nods her head. “You can count on me, I won’t tell a soul. I promise.”

  “Before I moved here, I lived in Los Angeles. I was a cheerleader and very popular, but that has changed now. Girls and boys at my new school are very mean to me. They call me names and don’t speak to me, but guess what, Kayla? I don’t let it bother me. I stay strong and think about the bigger picture. I know school can be rough, but it’s important to develop tough skin, Kayla. Letting these kids make you feel bad gives them too much power over you.”

  “Okay, I’ll try really hard.”

  “Good, trying is the first step to succeeding.”

  “I have something to ask you,” Kayla says nervously.

  “You can ask me anything, Kayla.”

  “My birthday is November ninth. I’ll be turning twelve-years-old.”

  “Oh, the big twelve. That’s a fun age.”

  “My mom is throwing me a small birthday party, and I was wondering if you wanted to come.” Kayla looks down as she tells me this, afraid of my rejection.

  “I would love to. Thank you for inviting me. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

  Kayla’s big smile is contagious. “It’ll be so much better with you there,” Kayla tells me excitedly.

  “You should invite some classmates, Kayla.”

  Just like that, her excitement is gone.

  “They won’t come, they never come.”

  “Invite a few girls in your class. Let them know I’ll style their hair and do makeup and manicures.”

  “I’ve never been allowed to wear makeup,” Kayla tells me in awe at the prospect of wearing makeup for the first time.

  “Just check with your mom to make sure it’ll be okay first, and then let me know.”

  “We’re friends, aren’t we Cocoa?”

  “Are you kidding me? Hello, you’re one of my best friends.”

  “Thank you for being my friend, Cocoa. I wish I was beautiful, like you.”

  “Kayla, you’re very beautiful, and never let anyone tell you differently. Now, let’s tackle this homework the hour is almost over.”

  Kayla is the little sister I wish I had. It can be very lonely being the only child.

  I can’t believe I’m working on Halloween. Granted, Mary only asked me to work until 5:30 p.m. when Harry arrives. Both schools were let out at noon for staff development day, so no tutoring this afternoon. I’m meeting Jamal, Kate, and Lucy at the senior class carnival tonight. The three asshole kings are at their usual booth in the corner. They arrived about an hour and a half ago. The food they ordered was finished twenty minutes after hitting their table, so I have no idea why they’re still here. Mary is at the register and Chuck is preparing orders. It’s not too busy right now, but I know that will change the later it gets. I walk around, wiping down tables, sweeping the floors, and other miscellaneous things to keep busy.

  It’s difficult to keep my distance from Maverick, since we have one class together, and he frequents the pizzeria a lot. I try not to even look at him, but I can’t help but notice him today. He looks good and he knows it. I clench my thighs together, feeling horny when I recall the way he kissed me and played with my clit. Since the project is over, I have no reason to speak to him at all. I look at the clock hanging on the wall for the thousandth time since I started my shift at 12:30 p.m. Its 5:00 p.m., thank goodness. I only have thirty more minutes.

  I hear a rumble of a motorcycle engine in the distance. The sound is familiar and welcoming. It brings back memories of my rides with Saint. I look out the big glass window as the sound draws closer. The motorcycle turns left into the parking lot of the pizzeria. I turn away from the window but do a double-take when my brain registers who it is.

  Saint.

  I immediately drop the broom I’m holding, a happy laugh escaping my mouth. I run out the door as Saint swings his leg over the motorcycle and takes off his helmet. I jump on him, wrapping my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist, causing him to stumble back a little. I rain kisses all over his face.

  “I missed you, too,” he smiles, before kissing me on the cheek.

  “Oh my God! What are you doing here?” I ask excitedly, as I unwrap my limbs from his body to slide to the ground.

  “You seemed so sad lately during our phone conversations, so we wanted to surprise you.”

  “We?”

  “Yeah, Lo and Micah are here, too.”

  I jump up and down like a kid in a candy store.

  “How?”

  “My dad rented a truck for me. A four-door extended cab so that we could all fit, with enough room for my motorcycle to sit in the back. We left on Tuesday morning and just arrived this evening. We drove for twelve hours a day, taking turns. Your mother knew we were coming.”

  “You don’t understand how happy I am you’re all here, but you guys are missing school and spending way too much money to be here,” I say as tears roll down my cheeks.

  “Trust me, you’re worth it and don’t worry, everything is taken care of. All loose ends have been tied.” Saint wipes my tears away.

  “I’ll be back. I’m going to see if I can leave early. I need a motorcycle ride right now.”

  I race back inside the building to see that, obviously, Mary watched the whole interaction, because she’s wearing a goofy grin on her face.

  “Go ahead. It’s only twenty minutes early. Get out of here,” says Mary.

  She doesn’t have to tell me twice.

  “Thank you, Mary. I’ll leave my car here and pick it up in the morning before school.”

  I run to the back to get my jacket. I opted to wear my fanny pack to work today instead of bringing my purse. I’m back outside in a few seconds. Saint is already sitting on his motorcycle. He hands me a helmet. I place it on my head then hop on. When I wrap my arms around his waist, he pulls off.

  I close my eyes as the adrenaline flows through my veins. I missed this. I feel free.

  That’s the motherfucker in most of the pictures Cocoa has posted on her Facebook page. I wanted to break his fucking neck. It took all of my strength to not get up from the table and rip her from his embrace. I’ve never seen her so happy. That’s a look she’ll never give me. I don’t know that guy, but he’s instantly on my fuck-you list. Maybe he is her boyfriend. No, I can’t believe that. She wouldn’t have kissed me like that. Something tells me Cocoa is monogamous and loyal.

  “Calm down,” Dee says to me.

  “I am calm.”

  He pointedly looks down at the table where I’m resting my hands, and I follow his gaze. My hands form a tight fist, blood seeping between my knuckles. I open my fist, stretching my fingers. I didn’t realize that I was digging my nails into the flesh of my palms.

  “You have it bad for her, Mav. Why are you fighting it?” asks Nix.

  “You know why.”

  “Just let go man, and give it a chance,” says Dee.

  “What? And be a loving doting boyfriend? That’s not me.”

  “It could be,” says Nix.

  “You two don’t have girlfriends.”

  “That’s because we love the bachelor lifestyle,” states Nix matter-of-factly.

  “And that’s not an option for me too?”

  “It was, until her,” replies Dee.

  “Stop lying to yourself. You’re always watching her, you took up for her in front of the whole senior class, and we come here a lot more than we used to.”

  It’s true. I only see her in school, but that’s not enough for me.

  “Drop it, okay?”
r />   Anything between Cocoa and I will only end in tragedy.

  When Saint parks his motorcycle in front of my house, I race inside to find Lo and Micah. We drove around for about an hour. I feel rejuvenated. They’re not sitting on the sofa, so I proceed to my room. They’re lying on my bed. I jump in the middle of the duo, kissing and hugging them both. I cry like a big baby.

  “Stop it, you’re going to make me cry, too, and I don’t like crying,” says Lo.

  “Oh, I knew you wouldn’t be able to keep your hands off me,” says Micah playfully.

  I punch him in the shoulder in mock outrage. Just then, Saint walks into the room.

  “How long are you guys staying?”

  “Until Sunday,” answers Micah.

  “Great, that’ll leave plenty of time to hang out and have fun, starting with the carnival tonight. I’m going to shower and then get dressed.”

  I point to Saint and Micah. “You two better make yourselves scarce when you hear the shower cut off.”

  “What? I can’t hear you.” Micah cups his right ear.

  “I mean it, Micah.” I laugh at his antics.

  We arrive at the carnival two hours later in the rented truck. Jamal, Kate, and Lucy are meeting us at the entrance. We don’t wear costumes for the holiday. I decided on black thigh-high fishnet tights, a black mini-skater skirt, a fitted burgundy turtle-neck, paired with black platform ankle boots. I wear my usual makeup and big sterling silver hoop earrings. When I spot them, I walk over and make introductions.

  Micah throws his arm around Kate’s shoulders and offers her one of his winning smiles.

  Lord, give me a break.

  I grab his arm and throw it off, “not today Micah. You better find another girl willing to slide her panties off for you.”

  Kate’s face turns beet red.

  “Ouch,” says Saint, laughing.

  Micah covers his heart with both hands. “Oh honey, to make an assumption like that is breaking my heart. I just wanted to offer my friendship to the friends you’ve made here in good ole West Virginia.”

  “Or maybe you just want to get your dick wet,” says Lo.

  The group laughs at her comment.

  Once we enter the carnival, we have the time of our lives. Even the shy Lucy is opening up. It’s very crowded, but we still manage to get on several rides. Saint is playing a game of ring toss to win the big fluffy bear I’ve been coveting. When he wins, I shout with glee, pointing to the prize I want. Once it’s handed to me, I go to plant a big kiss on Saint’s cheek, but he turns his head at the last second, so I end up kissing his lips instead. I break the kiss.

  “Bravo, the award for best slut in Montgomery County goes to Cocoa Matthews,” says Maverick loud enough for anyone in the vicinity to overhear.

  The hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I know there’s about to be some shit. Dee and Nix are standing near, along with a few other boys I’ve seen around school. Victoria and her bitches, of course, aren’t far behind. This is about to get bad, real bad. We have an audience now. Saint, Lo, and Micah are instantly on alert.

  “You had your tongue down Jake’s mouth not two months ago and my dick down your throat not two weeks ago, and now you’re sucking face with this prick.” Maverick’s only a few inches from my face now.

  All of my friends’ faces register shock at the revelation.

  “You should’ve told me you needed dick that bad and I would’ve given you more,” mocks Maverick.

  “What’s he talking about, Cocoa? Who the fuck is Jake?” asks Saint.

  “Why don’t you tell him what I’m talking about, Cocoa?”

  I can’t believe he’s doing this shit here. What is he expecting to achieve?

  “This isn’t the time or the place for this conversation,” I say to Maverick.

  I see Lo slipping brass knuckles on both of her hands. She never leaves home without them. If Lo starts punching motherfuckers, it’s a done deal. I have to diffuse this situation.

  “I say it’s the perfect time and place.”

  “People are recording,” I whisper, hoping to dissuade him from continuing this argument.

  He looks around and notices, too. He grabs my wrist, pulling me to follow behind him. Saint snatches me back and then punches Maverick in the face.

  Shit just hit the fucking fan.

  That soft-ass punch barely registers on my radar. I elbow this bastard in the face, one shot to the stomach, another to the ribs, and an uppercut to the face, and then this little bitch is out for the count. I turn from his limp form to find pandemonium. I hear sirens in the distance. Someone must’ve called the police at the start of the confrontation. Cocoa’s friend is holding her own, knocking motherfuckers out left and right. Nix squares off against Cocoa’s other friend. He doesn’t go down so easy; he’s giving Nix as good as he gets.

  Victoria, Rebecca, and Lori are ganging up on Cocoa, but she’s handling her own. Jamal is trying to protect her. Kate is on Ted’s back, biting his ear, and Lucy is biting his arm. Dee is attempting to pry Kate from Ted’s back. It looks like World War III out here. I walk over to Cocoa, pulling the girls off her. I throw Cocoa over my shoulder. She begins beating against my back with her fists.

  “Put me down!” she shouts.

  “Dee and Nix, let’s go,” I shout as I run towards the exit.

  When we get to my jeep I shout to Dee, “drive, go to your house.”

  When Maverick throws me in the back seat, I turn on my stomach, crawling to the other end and open the door with every intention of getting the hell out of there. Maverick climbs over me and closes the door then flips me onto my back before settling between my legs. I hear the roar of the engine, and then we’re moving.

  I slap his face twice, but then he takes both of my wrists, pinning them above my head.

  “Let me out of here,” I shout.

  “So you can run back to your little boyfriend?” Maverick shouts back.

  “Not that it’s any of your business, but he’s not my boyfriend!”

  “You were kissing him!”

  “Why do you care?”

  “I don’t!”

  “Let me out!”

  “What about Jake? You were kissing him, too!”

  I lift my head from the seat, so we’re in each other’s face having our shouting match. I feel his lips brush against mine as we continue to scream at each other.

  “Let’s get a few things straight. I don’t have to explain myself to you. I’m single! I can kiss and fuck who I want!”

  Maverick takes hold of my lips, kissing me voraciously. I don’t stop him, because I need this just as much as he does. Our kissing is wild and out of control, filled with heat and hunger. We’re both making incoherent noises. When he releases my wrists, I grasp either side of his face, pulling him close to deepen our kisses.

  I open my legs as wide as I can in the back seat of his jeep. He lifts himself up a little to cup his hand over my thong-covered pussy. He breaks the kiss to look into the eyes.

  “You’re so warm, Cocoa.”

  It doesn’t matter that Dee and Nix are in the front seats. This, whatever is happening between Maverick and I, matters. I frantically undo his belt buckle and pants, pulling his jeans and boxers down to his upper thighs. He settles back between my legs when his dick springs free. The car radio is switched on then, with the volume turned up.

  Eminem featuring Rihanna “I Love the Way You Lie” is playing.

  This song is so fucking fitting, because Maverick and I are toxic to each other, but can’t stay away from each other.

  He sits back on his knees. He uses his left hand to pull my thong to the side, revealing my pussy, while he uses his other hand to guide his dick between my pussy lips. Once he positions his dick at my entrance, he covers my body with his. He groans as his dick slowly enters heat. When he’s fully seated, he drops his head in the crook of my neck as we moan together.

  I cross my ankles at the small of his back as he starts to
fuck me savagely. We grip each other’s hair and resume our kissing. The force of his deep strokes causes my head to hit against the door. I feel heat pool in my stomach before my orgasm hits me with so much intensity that I break the kiss and scream. Maverick gives a few more powerful thrusts, and then groans, spilling his cum inside me. We stay like that for a few minutes before I realize that the car is stationary. The engine is off and so is the music. We must be at Dee’s house. Reality is slowly closing in. My boundaries are resurfacing.

  “Maverick, please get off me.”

  My thighs are sticky from his cum. He doesn’t fight me like I thought he would, but instead, he does as I ask. Maybe the reality of what we just did hit him, too. As we fix our clothes, we don’t look at each other.

  “Maverick, can you take me home please?”

  “Yeah.”

  We leave the back seat and move to the front of the jeep. The drive is awkwardly silent. He turns onto the dirt road that leads to my house.

  “Stop, I’ll walk from here.”

  I can tell he looks at me then from the corner of my eye.

  Please, don’t fight me on this.

  If he drives up there, I know it’ll be a fight between him, Saint, Micah, and Lo. He stops the jeep to let me out.

  Thank God.

  I don’t look back at him as I walk down the dirt road.

  How could I let this happen?

  When I get close to the house, my friends come out to converge on me. Saint’s jaw is swollen, and he’ll be sporting a black eye soon.

  “You fucked him, didn’t you?” demands Saint. “Your hair is wild, your lipstick is smeared, and your skirt is twisted.”

  I know the guilt is written all over my face. Lo looks disappointed. Micah isn’t a judgmental person, so his face is neutral. Saint rubs a hand down his face.

  “So, you are the slut he accuses you of being. No matter what I do, you’ll never pick me. You want someone who doesn’t respect you. Is that it? Should I publicly embarrass you? Is that what you want?” He laughs without humor.

  “I’m sorry,” I whisper.

  “You’re sorry,” shouts Saint as he grasps my shoulders, shaking me.