Full Circle (Urban Books)

by Skyy

  She walked into Patrick’s home office to find him setting up his video game. He didn’t say anything to her. “What’s going on?”

  “Nothing.” His dry tone frightened her. She scanned her mind, trying to think if there was anything she could have done wrong. Lately, things had been good between them. She knew it must be a work thing.

  “Patrick, talk to me.”

  “I just had a bad day at work.”

  Misha put her arms around him. “I thought we were going to go out to eat tonight.”

  Patrick sighed. “I’m sorry, baby, but I totally forgot all about that. I’ll be good. We can still go.”

  “Thank you, baby.”

  They walked to their bedroom.

  “So, Mish, what’s up with Lena? Is she dating yet, ’cause I have a friend that is perfect for her.”

  “She’s actually talking to someone now.”

  “Oh, really? Is it another ballplayer like Brandon?” Patrick rummaged through his closet.

  Misha froze. She had to tell him that Lena’s new friend was a woman. “Actually, it’s a girl.”

  Patrick didn’t move. He stared into his closet. “A girl?”

  “Yes. Some hotshot chick in real estate.” Misha tried to sound as nonchalant about it as possible.

  Patrick turned around. His smile was gone. “So now Lena’s messing with women?”

  “Patrick, you know she used to. Remember Denise?”

  “Yeah, but all the times we kicked it at her house, Brandon was always there. When did this happen?”

  “I don’t know. I mean, Brandon and her haven’t been together in God knows how long. She is just now getting back into the dating scene.”

  “With a girl . . .”

  “It just so happens to be a woman. What is the problem?”

  Patrick stared at Misha. “So all this time you have been hanging with her, it’s been around a bunch of lesbians?”

  “What?” Misha knew exactly where he was going with this. Patrick’s number one fear was that she would want to mess with women again. “Patrick, you have nothing to worry about.”

  “Why would you say that, Mish?” Patrick snapped. “Why would you think I even thought I had something to worry about?”

  “Because I’m not stupid. I know you will always wonder. . . .”

  “I wasn’t wondering anything, but now that you say it, should I be? I mean, all your damn friends are fucking gay. Why can’t you hang with some straight women?”

  Misha threw her hands up. “What my friends do and what I do are completely separate things.”

  “Is it wrong for a man to want his ex-lesbian wife to find new people to hang with that won’t have her around that type of shit?”

  “That type of shit?” Misha shook her head. “So because you find out Lena dates women and men, now you have a problem with her? You want me to cut back on her, like you made me cut back on Carmen?” Misha wanted to run out of the room. She wasn’t allowed to go to Memphis without him, just because of his fear that Carmen would have her around Cooley.

  “Do you want to be gay again, Misha? ’Cause everything you fucking do is in that damn lifestyle. You won’t even consider regular friends. God forbid you meet some straight women to hang out with. All you want to hang out with is fucking dykes!”

  “I’m done.” Misha grabbed her purse.

  “Where do you think you’re going?” Patrick followed her into the living room. “Misha!”

  “I don’t know. Maybe I’ll go hang with my gay-ass dyking friends. Maybe I’ll go back to dykin’ myself, since my husband seems to think that’s what I’m doing, anyway.”

  “Don’t fucking leave this house, Misha!” Patrick’s voice rumbled. She knew he meant business. “Call your friend and tell her we can’t make it. We have shit we need to deal with here.”

  “Fuck you, Patrick.” Misha picked up her cell phone and walked to the front door.

  “If you walk out that door, the locks will be changed and you won’t be getting back in.”

  Misha froze. She knew he was serious. If she walked out, her marriage would be over. Tears ran down her face. She dropped her purse on the floor.

  “Fine, master. As you fucking wish.” She ran past him and slammed their bedroom door.

  Cooley walked into her house. Sahara stood up.

  “Cooley.”

  “Not now.” Cooley shrugged Sahara off.

  “No, right now!” Sahara yelled.

  Cooley stopped. She turned to see Sahara’s stern face. Cooley knew what was coming. She sighed and sat down in her oversize chair.

  “I thought you said we were going to be okay? If this is okay, I don’t want to know what bad is.”

  “Sahara, I don’t want to talk about this shit right now.”

  “I fucked up. Okay, it’s obvious I fucked up. But all this shit you are doing to me . . . not cool at all.” Sahara didn’t move from her spot.

  Cooley sat in silence, looking off into the distance. She didn’t want to look at Sahara.

  Sahara held her arms out. “So here. Do whatever you want to do to me. Do you want to hit me, yell at me, call me names? Just fucking do it. Get it all out, because I’m not about to continue to go on like this.”

  “So you really trying to stand in front of me, going off like I’ve done something wrong?” Cooley finally looked at Sahara. Her blood was boiling. “You are right. You fucked up. You fucked us up!” Cooley jumped up. Her hands were shaking.

  Sahara huffed. “Are you fucking serious right now? Yes, I made a mistake, as in one fucking mistake. Do we need to go over your past indiscretions?”

  Cooley looked away. “We aren’t talking about the past.”

  “Maybe we need to. I took ya sorry ass back after you dogged me. I turned a blind eye to you fuckin’ those bitches. I let it go because I knew you loved me.”

  “But you knew about all of that, Sahara!” Cooley yelled. “You knew who you were with when you got with me. And I stopped all that shit for you. But even then I still never lied to you. I kept it a hundred, something you obviously don’t know how to do.”

  “I was going to tell you—”

  “When!” Cooley’s high-pitched voice reached a new octave. “When were you going to tell me? Why the fuck did it take me figuring the shit out for you to come clean?”

  That silenced Sahara. She didn’t have a comeback. “I—I . . .”

  “Don’t stutter now.” Cooley pushed over the coffee table between them, causing Sahara to jump. She flinched, thinking Cooley really was about to hit her. Cooley paused. She didn’t like that reaction. She didn’t want Sahara thinking she would ever lay a hand on her, but in that moment the thoughts of another person’s hands on what she thought belonged to her were consuming her.

  Cooley grabbed Sahara by her jeans and pulled her close. Then she grabbed the hair on the back of Sahara’s head, pulling her head back.

  “What did she do to you, Sha? Did she fuck you rough like you like it, or was she gentle? I bet that bitch was a little pussy in bed. Probably had no idea you like this type of shit.” Cooley pulled Sahara’s hair some more, causing Sahara to let out a painful moan. With one hand Cooley unbuttoned Sahara’s pants.

  Sahara couldn’t speak. She was in shock, scared but anxious at the same time. Cooley hadn’t touched her since she found out about the other woman. With force two of Cooley’s fingers entered Sahara, causing her to jump.

  Cooley stared directly into Sahara’s frightened but aroused eyes. She fingered her roughly. Sahara’s body jerked with every stroke. Cooley’s grip on her hair didn’t loosen. She wanted it to hurt. She wanted Sahara to feel the pain she was feeling in that moment.

  “Cooley . . .” Sahara tried to say more but couldn’t.

  “Shut up!” Cooley’s voice rumbled.

  Sahara didn’t speak. Her mouth hung open, and only breath escaped.

  Tears formed in Cooley’s eyes. “Did you like it, Sahara? Did she make you cum?”
r />   “Yes.” Sahara gritted her teeth. She was pissed. Emotions flooded through Sahara. Even seeing the anger and pain in Cooley’s eyes didn’t make it okay. There was no love in what Cooley was doing to her.

  Cooley’s grip loosened, and her jaw dropped as she let go of Sahara. Cooley had fooled around on her more than once, but Sahara had never got upset.

  “Are you happy now?” Sahara pushed Cooley with all her might. “Now, Carla, why don’t you tell me how many bitches you made cum? How many of those hoes did you give orgasms to when you weren’t thinking of me and what you had waiting at home for you?” She pushed Cooley again. “Tell me, Cooley. You tell me!”

  “Fuck you!” Cooley turned, but Sahara grabbed her by her shirt. Without thinking, Cooley jerked away, mistakenly hitting Sahara with elbow, causing her to hit the floor. Cooley froze instantly at the sight of Sahara on the floor.

  “Sha.” Cooley fell to her knees. She put her arm on Sahara’s back as Sahara sobbed. Sahara looked up. Blood ran from her lip. The sight sent chills to Cooley’s core. “Baby.”

  Sahara slapped Cooley. She stood up and ran to the bathroom. Cooley couldn’t move. She knew things had gone too far. Cooley ran to the bathroom. She knocked on the door.

  Sahara listened to Cooley begging outside the bathroom door. She stared at her face. Her lip was beginning to swell. She ran cold water on one of their white washcloths. She put the cold towel against her lip.

  “Sahara, please. Oh my God!” Cooley could feel the room spinning. She had lost a grip on everything. Things were out of control.

  Sahara didn’t respond.

  Cooley didn’t know if she was okay or if she was searching through the bathroom for something to use to kill her. “Baby . . .”

  Cooley took two steps back when she heard the lock. She watched as the doorknob turned. Sahara walked out. Cooley wanted to die when she saw Sahara’s protruding lip. She gasped. There was no coming back from this.

  They stood staring at each other. No words between them. Sahara couldn’t speak. Cooley was afraid to speak. Cooley had never feared a woman before, but in that moment she did.

  Sahara broke the silence. “So I hope you got it all out now.”

  “What?”

  “I said, I hope you have it all out now.”

  Cooley was speechless. Sahara stood there. She was not angry but was just hoping for a resolution to their problems. Cooley knew she deserved to be hit back, but Sahara just wanted peace restored in their home. Cooley nodded her head. She couldn’t speak. She was speechless.

  “Good.” Sahara lowered her head. Without notice, Sahara slapped Cooley. The sound echoed throughout the apartment. “Now, if you ever do that shit again, I’m going to do more than slap yo’ ass.”

  Sahara walked past, leaving Cooley standing in her spot, holding her face.

  Chapter 26

  Lena was growing restless. She hadn’t talked to Danni since she left her in Miami. Spending time with Carmen wasn’t helping as much as she’d hoped. Planning a wedding again was bittersweet. She couldn’t help but think about her failed nuptials.

  Lena tried to enjoy some of the TV shows that Carmen raved about. She couldn’t watch True Blood or Spartacus. The vampire and gladiator sex just made her want Danni even more. She didn’t know if it was Danni or her amazing sex that she missed more.

  Lena thought about retail therapy, but that just made her think of the last thing she and Danni had talked about. She didn’t want to come off as a spoiled rich girl who was only good for shopping and having kids. Lena’s mind raced. She didn’t know if she wanted her own business or wanted to work for someone. She thought about buying some investment properties, but she knew she didn’t know that much about real estate.

  Lena sat at Carmen’s small computer desk in her living room. She was always amazed at how well Carmen and Nic were able to decorate their living spaces even with such limited space. Above the computer desk were mahogany square shelves with photos of all of them during their college years. Lena missed the University. She went to the Freedom University Web site. Her jaw dropped when she saw a photo of Denise with the new women’s basketball team. She couldn’t believe Denise went to Alumni Weekend and she didn’t know about it.

  Lena shook her head. You are seriously screwed up, Lena thought. One minute she was consumed with thoughts of Danni, and the next moment she couldn’t stop thinking about Denise. Lena closed her eyes. Denise’s face appeared. She didn’t want to face the truth. No matter how amazing Danni and her lovemaking skills were, Denise still held a piece of her heart. That infuriated Lena. She wanted to shake the feeling. Denise was off living her lavish life with her girlfriend, and Lena was still stuck on her. She felt like an idiot.

  She couldn’t take it anymore. Lena picked up her phone and pressed Danni’s name. The phone rang two times before Danni’s sultry voice answered.

  “Miss Lena.” Danni smiled when she saw Lena’s face appear on her phone. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”

  “Are you fucking with me?” Lena paced the floor.

  Danni sat up at her desk. “What do you mean?”

  “I haven’t heard from you since Miami, and you have the nerve to say that to me. What is your deal, Danni?”

  Lena paced the floor some more, trying to remain calm. She was restless and anxious. She bit her bottom lip, waiting on a shocked Danni’s response.

  Danni was surprised by Lena’s forcefulness. “I am sorry. I didn’t know I was supposed to check in,” Danni said, guarded. She liked that Lena was thinking of her, but didn’t like being questioned.

  “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, but with the way things were, I expected you to at least call once or twice.” Lena knew she sounded like a nagging girlfriend, but she didn’t care.

  “You know, the phone works both ways.” Danni leaned back in her chair. “I’ve been busy, but I haven’t forgotten you. Who could forget Lena Jamerson?” Danni smirked.

  “Whatever.” Lena tried not to blush at Danni’s statement. “Well, I just wanted to say that, and now that I did, have a nice day.”

  “Whoa.” Danni sat up in her swivel chair. “Don’t think you are getting away that easy. Have you missed me?”

  Danni’s seductive, low tone made Lena’s legs tremble. Her womanhood was awake and wanting to play.

  “Hello?” Danni said when Lena did not respond.

  “Maybe.” Lena bit her lip again. “Not that I should have.”

  “Whatever, shorty. You know you missed me.” Danni stood up.

  “It would have been nice to know the feeling was mutual.”

  “Trust me, it is.” Danni’s all-work-and-no-play rule was taking its toll on her. Her New York jump-offs had nothing on Lena. She wanted to feel her, but work had to come first. “Actually, work is bringing me back to Atlanta next week.”

  “Is it now?”

  “It is, and I need you at my house Friday.” Danni sat back down.

  “Um, is that a demand, or are you asking me?” Lena responded with attitude.

  “I’m not asking, if that’s what you mean. Be there. Seven o’clock.”

  Lena let out a grunt in protest.

  Danni ignored her.

  Lena tried to hide it, but she loved Danni’s aggressive nature and her comment. She didn’t notice Carmen standing against the wall with a large grin on her face. Lena hung up the phone, knowing she would be there with bells on.

  Lena knew the best way to get over one was to get under another, and she was going to be under Danni as long as she could.

  “What is that smile about?” Carmen noticed the expression on Lena’s face.

  “Nothing.” Lena blushed.

  “I’m guessing nothing is this mysterious Danni.” Carmen laughed. Lena’s flushed face gave her all the answers she needed. “Well, I can’t wait to meet her.”

  Lena noticed a photo of the whole crew sitting on one of the square shelves. Her happiness over Danni faded.


  “Damn, I really do still look the same, don’t I?” Lena asked Carmen.

  Carmen shrugged her shoulders. “So what? That’s a good thing. I want to still look like I’m a freshman in college.”

  “See”—Lena stood up—“I don’t want to look like a child anymore. Everyone around me has changed. Hell, you, Denise, Cooley. I can barely recognize Denise anymore. I’m tired of looking the same.” Lena paced the floor. She paused. “In fact . . .” Lena rushed off to the guest room, leaving Carmen baffled. She came back out, holding her purse. “Are you coming?”

  Carmen stood up. “Coming where?”

  Lena smirked. She grabbed her keys and walked to the front door.

  “Coming where?” Carmen yelled as she rushed to grab her purse and follow Lena, who was obviously on a mission.

  Sahara walked into the kitchen to find Cooley sitting at the kitchen table. There weren’t any words; neither knew what to say after the night before.

  Sahara poured a glass of orange juice. Cooley cringed when she instantly noticed Sahara’s puffy lip.

  “Don’t worry. It will be fine,” Sahara said, not looking up from her copy of Ebony.

  “Will it? Or better yet, will we?” Cooley asked.

  She couldn’t sleep the night before. Cooley wanted to go into the bedroom and hold her injured girlfriend, but she couldn’t. She was so angry at herself.

  “We will be fine, if you want us to be.” Sahara finally focused on Cooley. She could see the hurt in Cooley’s eyes. “It’s okay, Carla. I know it was an accident.”

  “Sha, baby, I never—”

  “No need for all of that.” Sahara didn’t want to talk about the night before. She wanted to move on. She wanted her relationship back, and if a small injury was what it took to get her woman back, she didn’t care.

  “Yeah, there is, Sahara. You can’t just brush that off. I mean, yes, it was a mistake, but the whole thing, the way I’ve been acting in general has been . . .” Cooley swallowed a big knot in her throat. “I just really am sorry for the way I’ve been acting.”