Deep Blue Secret

by Christie Anderson

  “The elevator’s back there,” I said.

  He grinned. “We’re taking the stairs.”

  He stopped in front of a door, pulling me through the opening. I didn’t even realize the stairs were over here. When I’d come to see my mom at the hospital in the past, I’d never bothered to take the stairs. Our escape was easier than I thought.

  In the stairwell I headed towards the lower level, but Rayne pulled me back. I looked at him confused.

  “I thought we were going outside,” I said.

  “We are. You’ll see.”

  He led me up the steps. I wasn’t sure if my heart pulsed from the exercise or his apparent interest in being with me. It seemed like he was just as happy to be here as I was. I could’ve been wrong. I didn’t want to make assumptions, but it was hard to restrain the hope building inside me.

  He stopped at the next level and poked his head through the door. I wondered where he could be taking me. This floor was the highest I’d ever been in the building and the highest the public elevators would take people. Where was there left to go?

  “It’s clear,” he said. “Come on.”

  We left the stairwell and walked to the hallway in front of the elevators, his hand still clasping mine.

  “Those elevators only go down,” I said.

  “I know,” he smirked. “We’re not taking those, we’re going over there.”

  He pointed to a third elevator at the end of the hall. I’d seen it before. My mother had shown it to me once when I was young. She said I was never allowed to wander in there. It was restricted access only. Not even all hospital staff had access to it.

  “That’s the restricted elevator,” I said. “You have to use a special pass or something to make it work.”

  He laughed. “It’s a good thing I have one of those, isn’t it?” He pulled a badge from his pocket.

  I reached my hand to grab it. “Where did you get that?” I asked, secretly impressed.

  His hand shot away, out of my reach. “Wouldn’t you like to know…”

  My gaze darted back and forth. “Did you steal that?” I said in a hushed tone.

  He smiled wryly and pressed the elevator button. “I just…borrowed it. They’ll have it back before they know it’s gone.”

  “You’re a bad influence on me,” I joked with a flirtatious grin.

  The nervous thrill in me continued as we rode up the forbidden elevator. I couldn’t believe he was still holding my hand. Who would hold someone’s hand for so long if they didn’t like them? Unless he was just worried I would mess something up and get us caught if I didn’t stay by his side at all times. I hoped he would never let go.

  We made our way down a dark corridor and through a heavy, metal door. It led to a large open room with dim lighting. It was industrial looking with large pipes and machinery that hummed noisily. Maybe the room was just another room during the day but right now it was spooky. I squeezed Rayne’s hand in mine and clung to his forearm with the other, hugging it close.

  We crept along the wall to the other side of the room and came to what looked like a steel dock door. The massive door towered over our heads reaching up to the ceiling. Rayne stood me directly at the center of the metal door and dropped my hand.

  “Wait right here,” he said. I looked at him nervously, feeling a sudden flash of insecurity without his protective grip.

  He stood in front of me placing his hands on my shoulders. “Close your eyes,” he said softly.

  My lids wanted to protest; closing them meant losing the perfect view of his face in front of mine. But my eyes drifted shut. I would pretty much do anything he asked of me without a second thought.

  His hands left me alone in the dark and my shoulders shivered. I stood quiet for only a moment, then a loud cranking noise caused me to flinch and a rush of cool air whirled around me. The crisp scent of the night breeze filled my lungs. I felt strangely at ease. I thought of the stale, recycled air of my hospital room and inhaled the outside air with even greater appreciation.

  The cranking of the door stilled, leaving only the faint sounds of night. Rayne’s hand brushed the small of my back as he led me forward. I moved cautiously, testing the ground below me, anticipation growing with each blind step.

  Finally we stopped. “Okay,” he said. “Open your eyes.”

  My eyes fluttered open and I gasped. My hand shot forward, feeling the sudden need to catch my balance. Rayne’s strong hand steadied me as I wavered. We towered high in the air, surrounded by a magnificent view of the city below.

  “Whoa…” I breathed in unexpected awe.

  The street lights glittered below us through the darkness as far as I could see and I turned in a slow circle to take in the view. We were one level below the roof. There was a wide, outdoor path that circled around the sides of the building. He took my hand and pulled me around the corner, leaving behind the large metal door.

  A short concrete wall lined the outer edge of the path; the only separation from the pavement a good ten stories down. I skipped to the edge and leaned my body over the top to get a better look.

  “I guess you’re not afraid of heights,” he said, taking my side.

  I turned to him with a wide smile. “No, this is great. I had no idea this was up here.”

  “It’s a place I like to come sometimes—to think,” he said. “It helps me gain perspective. Things seem clearer up here.”

  “Yeah…” I sighed in agreement.

  I missed his hand which was now folded through his arm as he leaned against the wall next to me. I moved slightly towards him until my arm brushed against his.

  “Thanks for sharing this with me,” I said. “I have a place I like to go too. Maybe I could show it to you sometime.”

  “Maybe,” he said.

  Instead of dwelling on the non-committal tone of his answer I allowed myself to enjoy the moment. We stood near each other in silence, gazing out in the starlight.

  There were so many questions I wanted to ask. Where was he from? Did he like being a Keeper? Did everyone’s eyes turn colors from the Healing Water? But the questions would have to wait. I made a promise to Heather earlier that day. I was supposed to invite Rayne to the Sadie Hawkins dance this weekend.

  I looked out at the glittering lights of Newport, my palms clammy. My index finger tapped against the concrete, gathering the nerve to speak. I couldn’t put it off. I knew I didn’t have much time. He could decide to leave as suddenly as he’d shown up at my bedside, and who knew when I’d get another chance to ask.

  I turned away from the amazing view and searched his face with my gaze.

  “Rayne?” I said, heat gathering in my cheeks.

  He turned his body towards me. His wide chest called to my anxious eyes.

  “Do you think…” I said, but I barely heard my own voice. Rayne also spoke, his words crossing over mine. Without thinking I repeated myself, but he spoke again, right at the same time. I laughed nervously, but didn’t say another word out of embarrassment.

  A chuckle escaped his lips. “Ladies first…”

  My throat tightened. “Uh…it can wait. What were you saying?” I asked hoping to put off my humiliation.

  He paused, the corners of his mouth turned down. “Something’s come up. It’s sort of an emergency. I was hoping to avoid this but…I have to leave.”

  My gaze fell and I stared at the ground. “You’re leaving?” Pain cut through my chest. Asking him about the dance was suddenly irrelevant.

  “It should only be a day, a few at the most. I wouldn’t be doing this right now if I didn’t feel it was absolutely necessary.”

  “Is everything okay?” I asked. “I mean, does this have anything to do with…me?”

  “In a roundabout way, yes,” he said.

  Before I could respond his body faced mine, his hand on my waist. “But I promise…you have nothing to worry about. I won’t let anything happen to you.”

  “What about you though? Will you be o
kay?” I asked. “Is this something dangerous?”

  He didn’t hesitate. “No, there’s no danger. I just have a message I need to deliver to my superior in person.”

  Gloom clouded my words. “But you’ll be back in a couple of days?”

  “Two or three at the most,” he said.

  Any thoughts or arguments escaped my mind. All I could do was nod and stare in his eyes.

  “Okay,” I said. Despite my concern, I didn’t know what else I could possibly say. He had to do his job. There was nothing I could do about it.

  He slid his bag from his shoulder. “I brought something for you. Well, it’s for me too, but I need you to make me a promise before I show it to you.”

  “What is it?” I said.

  “Just promise you won’t get mad, that you’ll let me explain before you jump to any conclusions.”

  I looked at him strangely. “Why would I be mad?”

  “Just…promise me.”

  “Okay,” I said confused. “I promise.”

  He undid the clasp and lifted the top flap of the bag, pulling out what looked like a small book. Why would I be mad about a book? I tried to get a better look as he moved it in his hand but it was too dark.

  “Here,” he said. He held it out and hesitated. “Remember, you promised.”

  As soon as the purple leather touched my hand I knew what he meant. I recognized the design of the whimsical, black butterfly immediately—it was my diary.

  Red heat filled my cheeks. It wasn’t anger though; it was embarrassment. Why did he have my diary? Did he read it? Did he know all my silly personal thoughts and embarrassing moments?

  “How did you get this?” I asked in a short tone.

  I flipped through the pages to confirm my suspicions and scanned the writing; Dear Dad they began, Love Sadie they finished.

  “You stole my diary?” I questioned in disbelief.

  Did he break into my house? Was he in my room? Oh no, was it clean the last time I left it? It had been so long since I was there I couldn’t remember.

  “Actually, that’s my diary,” he said.

  I looked at him confused. “No, this is definitely my diary.”

  Rayne reached back in his bag and removed a second book. He held it out to me. “This one’s yours.”

  “What?” I said.

  I tore the second book from his hand and examined it thoroughly.

  Every page, every inch of this book was exactly the same as the first. They were both my diary. How could that be? Each with the exact same writing on the same page, the ink colors the same, the shapes and lines of my scribbles and cross-outs were all the same. Even the childish drawings I’d added so often as a child were replicated with exactness.

  I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.

  If he read this, that meant he knew everything about me. He knew about the pool party in eighth grade with the boogie board incident and my bathing suit top coming loose. He knew about the football game my freshman year when I accidentally sat on Lindsey’s nachos.

  Oh no, I wrote about him in there too; about when I met him at the beach. I said he was amazing and I might even love him. Someone please just shoot me now, I thought. Before I die of humiliation.

  My breaths quickened and I tried to calm myself. Maybe there was a chance he didn’t read it. Any decent person knew it was just plain wrong to read someone else’s diary.

  I glared at him and spoke in a slow, clear voice. “Please tell me you didn’t read this.”

  He looked at me sheepishly and shrugged. “Well, kind of. Please don’t be angry…”

  Of course I was angry.

  “That’s so not fair,” I said. “Now you know every tiny detail about me and I still know nothing about you. This is so embarrassing. You must think I’m a complete idiot.”

  Rayne placed a hand on the side of my arm. My tensed muscles relaxed at his touch. He was skilled in calming my emotions.

  “Sadie,” he said, almost holding back a chuckle. “Even your most embarrassing moments are completely charming.”

  My words stuck to my throat. “But I…”

  What was he saying? He liked that I was an idiot?

  “I just…I don’t understand why you have these,” I said, holding up the identical purple books.

  He took one from my grasp. “You hold onto that one and I’ll show you,” he said.

  I let the book go reluctantly and watched as he pulled a pen out of his bag. He opened the book and wrote on one of the pages, then clapped it shut.

  “Okay, your turn,” he said.

  I stared at him. “You want me to write something in my book?”

  “No, just look at it,” he said with a grin.

  He flipped it right side up in my hand. A light suddenly glowed from the cover. I held it up in surprise. The usually dark rhinestone at the center of the butterfly was illuminated like a tiny purple light bulb. I’d never seen it do that before.

  “What did you do?” I said. “How does that work?” I flipped the book around and examined it, not sure what I was looking for.

  “Look closer,” he prompted, “at the light.”

  I held the light directly in front of my face. A number glowed inside the center of the stone.

  “Eighty-seven?” I wondered aloud.

  “Page eight-seven,” he added.

  “Oh…” I breathed in understanding.

  I rummaged through the pages, eager to see what they held in store. I finally read the number eighty-seven on the page and looked up excitedly at Rayne’s thoughtful face, his eyes glowing faint green through the dark.

  There was something written at the top of the page. The handwriting was small and neat, printed in all caps:

  DEAR SADIE,

  I’M SORRY I READ YOUR DIARY. CAN YOU EVER FORGIVE ME? I’LL BEG IF I HAVE TO. PRETTY PLEASE? WITH SUGAR ON TOP?

  ~RAYNE

  I gave him an incredulous glance. “You just wrote something in there,” I pointed to the book in his hand. “And somehow the words instantly appear in this one?”

  I held the book closed with just a finger holding my place on the page. As I held it up I noticed the light was gone. I stared at it in examination.

  “The light resets after you open the book to the correct page,” he said. He held the pen towards me. “It works the same way with both books. Now you can respond to my message in your own book and I’ll be able to read it here.”

  How was it that each time I was with him he found a way to amaze me even more?

  “So how does it work?” I said. “Is this some kind of trick with that special liquid again? You used it to make a copy of my diary or something?”

  “No, it’s nothing like that,” he said. “It’s called a Twin Document. Advanced technology networks the pages together. I’m not really involved with the technical side of things. Even I don’t know much about it, but they’re very rare.”

  I had to admit…that was pretty cool.

  I marveled aloud, “Like super-disguised text messaging.”

  I forgot about my embarrassment when I realized he was showing me a way to communicate with him while he was gone.

  “This pair was made especially for you,” he said. “Well, for me, as an added way to look after you.”

  My spirits lifted slightly. I might be able to hear from him while he was gone rather than being left helplessly in the dark.

  “So what you’re saying is, you have a copy of my diary so you can spy on me,” I said playfully.

  Deep down I knew what it really meant; it meant that, for some reason, great measures were being taken to ensure Rayne could watch over me. I suppressed my fears. It felt easier at the moment to make light of the situation. I wasn’t sure I was ready to accept whatever truth was at the center of it all.

  “You are pretty fun to spy on,” he said.

  I pushed on his arm. “Oh really?”

  He smiled but took a step back. “Anyway, now you have a way to get a hold of m
e while I’m gone.” I wasn’t sure what it was but I felt distance in his tone. Suddenly I was just his assignment again.

  “Wouldn’t it be easier if you gave me your number?” I asked. “Don’t you have a cell phone?” It seemed a little dramatic to need some high-tech device to communicate.

  “Yes, I have a cell phone, but I’ll be travelling out of signal range for a good part of the time. The book will work pretty much anywhere,” he explained.

  Out of signal range? How far away was he planning to go?

  “Let me see it,” I said holding out my hand with a grin.

  He looked at me hesitantly and didn’t move.

  “It’s just a phone. Please?” I cooed, fluttering my eyelashes.

  He rolled his eyes with an amused grin and handed over his phone. I was surprised he’d given in so easily. I dialed my number onto the device and pulled my own phone out of my pocket which was set to silent. My phone buzzed in my palm at the incoming call.

  “There. Now I have your number,” I said. “And you have mine.”

  He reached for his phone and put it away. “I already have your number, Sadie.”

  My cheeks flushed. “Well, maybe now you’ll actually call me sometime.” I looked at him hopefully.

  His face stiffened. “Right now it’s probably better if we stick to using the diary. You shouldn’t dial my number unless it’s an emergency.”

  I was mortified. How could I be so stupid? Of course he didn’t want to call me. What he wanted was to do his job, to protect his assignment. How could I read his signals so wrong? But the way he looked at me sometimes, and touched me so gently…

  “Sure, of course,” I said, hiding my anxiety.

  I leaned against the wall and stared at the streetlights.

  He followed me. “Was there something you wanted to tell me earlier? Before I interrupted?”

  My eyes darted to the side. There was no way I could ask him to go to the dance with me now. He didn’t even want me to call him on the phone.

  “It’s not a big deal,” I said, squirming. “Just forget I mentioned it.”

  With a huff I hurried towards the entrance of the metal door.