Whoops! We're In Big Trouble Now

by Adele Abbott

  “No, he’s on holiday in Italy. But in answer to your original question, this is only the second time I’ve brought someone here.”

  “I’m honoured.”

  “Have you made any progress with the werewolf murders?”

  “None, but I have asked my assistant to check the archives for any stories relating to sightings of wolf-like creatures.”

  “Why won’t you call them werewolves?”

  “I’m still not ready to do that.”

  “I thought you’d accepted that there may be paranormal creatures living amongst us?”

  “I have. Kind of. But this still isn’t easy for me. Let’s see what the research throws up.”

  “I have some news about the blood distribution network.”

  “I’m not ready to admit it was blood that those shops were selling. I still think it has something to do with drugs.”

  “If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then it probably is a duck. What else could that red liquid be?”

  “You said you had news about it?”

  “I think our investigations may have triggered a reaction because my sources tell me that practically all of the outlets have stopped selling the blood.”

  “It could be a coincidence.”

  “Come on, Susan. You might not be ready to accept that it’s blood they’re selling, but even you can’t believe this is simply a coincidence. We must have spooked them.”

  “If that’s true, that has to be a good thing.”

  “It will only be short-lived. While ever there’s a demand, someone will find a way to service it. My guess is that it’ll re-surface, maybe in a different form. Watch this space.”

  ***

  When Dorothy came out of the staff room after her break, she found Molly and Rocky snogging one another’s lips off.

  “Put him down. You don’t know where he’s been.”

  “You can’t tell me off now.” Molly pulled Rocky even closer to her. “Not now you’re leaving.”

  “Do what you like. I don’t care. Keep your clothes on, though. We wouldn’t want to scare away the customers.”

  “Rocky’s body wouldn’t scare anyone away.” Molly grinned.

  “Nor would yours, Babe.” Rocky gave her another kiss.

  It was at that precise moment that Nobby walked into the shop. His smile evaporated the moment he saw the two young lovebirds mauling one another.

  Neither Molly nor Rocky had seen him come in, but Dorothy did. Before she could speak to him, he turned tail and left.

  “Great! Look what you two have done now!”

  Both Molly and Rocky looked nonplussed.

  “What’s up?” Molly said.

  “Nobby’s up.”

  “I’ve told you, he’s just a friend. Rocky knows I would never cheat on him, don’t you, Lover?”

  “I’m not worried about that. Nobby just came into the shop, to look at the computer.”

  “I didn’t see him.” Molly glanced around.

  “That’s because you were too busy with Cuthbert. He took one look at you two, and then he rushed out of here like a bat out of hell.”

  “He’ll be okay when I’ve spoken to him,” Molly said.

  “I wouldn’t bank on it. He thought you were his girlfriend. I’m pretty sure he knows better now.”

  “What are we going to do about the computer?”

  “Not my problem. I’m leaving, remember.”

  Actually, though, it was Dorothy’s problem because she’d intended to type out her letter of resignation on the computer, and then email it to her boss. Instead, she went back into the staff room, and phoned him from there.

  She hadn’t intended to tell him why she was leaving, but he had put her on the spot.

  “I’m going to be working for myself. It’s a sandwich delivery business.” She listened with growing anger as he poured scorn on her plans. “Yes, well, I just wanted to let you know.” He wasn’t very pleased, and he began to vent his displeasure at her decision. In the end, she interrupted his rant. “I’m sorry, but my mind is made up.” He then became even more obnoxious until she could stand it no longer. “I had intended to work my notice, but given your attitude, I’m leaving right now. I don’t care! Do your worst. Bye!”

  And, with that, she slammed down the phone, said goodbye to Molly, and stormed out of the shop.

  ***

  “What’s with the sour face, Neil?” Debs said. “Are you feeling okay?”

  “Don’t you have any work to do?” He snapped at her.

  “Honestly, I’m really worried about you. Yesterday, you were on top of the world because of your new car, and now, you look like you’ve lost a fiver. What’s wrong? Don’t tell me you’ve written off the new car already?”

  “Of course I haven’t.” He glanced around. “Where’s Fable?”

  “She’s on her break. She’s nipped down the road to get a snack. Why? Is that why you’ve got the long face? Because she set you up with her mate again?”

  “No, I don’t care about that. Kim’s okay—apart from the whole grim reaper thing.”

  “What’s up with you, then?”

  “I can only afford the new car if I’m making extra cash from the magician gigs with Real Magic.”

  “So? I thought you said they’d taken you back on their books?”

  “They have, but part of the reason for that was that I told Selena—she’s the one who runs the place—I told her that I’d come up with a fantastic new act that would blow the customers away.”

  “And have you?”

  “Not really.”

  “You lied, in other words?”

  “I only told her that because I was desperate for her to give me another chance.”

  “And it worked, didn’t it? So what are you worried about?”

  “She said she’s going to come and watch my next gig, so that she can see my ‘new’ act for herself.”

  “Whoops!”

  “When she realises that my ‘new’ act is exactly the same as my old act, she’ll probably give me the boot again. This time for good. If she does that, I can kiss goodbye to the car.”

  “The solution’s obvious, then.”

  “Is it? I can’t see one.”

  “You’ll actually have to come up with a new act before your next gig. When is it, anyway?”

  “Next Monday.”

  “There you go, then. You have the rest of this week and the weekend to do it.”

  “That’s not very long.”

  “It’s long enough if you stop feeling sorry for yourself, and actually put the work in.”

  Nodding, he said, “You’re right. I could do it if I focussed on nothing else between now and then. It might mean I need to take some time off from here, though.”

  “Like we’d notice a difference.” She grinned.

  “Thanks, Debs.” He cupped her face with his hands and gave her a kiss. “You’re a diamond.”

  At that precise moment, Fable came back from her break. “What’s going on?”

  “This woman is a genius! I’m going to recommend she gets a pay rise.” With a smile on his face, Neil practically skipped down to his office.

  Fable stared at Debs. “What was that all about?”

  “I have no idea.”

  “You must have said something.”

  “Whatever it was, I deeply regret it. If I’d known he was going to kiss me, I’d have kept my big mouth shut.”

  ***

  Dorothy hammered on Tilly’s door until she answered it.

  “Dorothy? What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing. Everything is absolutely fantastic. I’m free! I’ve left the bookshop.”

  “I thought you had to work notice.”

  “I was supposed to, and I would have done if that toe-rag hadn’t got all snotty with me.”

  “Your boss?”

  “Yeah. I tried to do the right thing, but then he started having a go at me, so I told him to shove
it and walked out.”

  “Wow, that was brave. What if you need a reference some time?”

  “I’ll be in deep doo-doo.”

  “All the more incentive to make sure our business succeeds, then.”

  “Absolutely. I can’t wait to get started. What do you want me to do?”

  “I’ve been checking on vacant industrial units. I was going to suggest we take a look at them this weekend, but now you’ve quit, I suppose we—”

  “Let’s do it now. I can’t wait to get started.”

  “I can’t right now because my mum is coming over, but we could make a start first thing in the morning if you like?”

  “Definitely, I’ll be here bright and early.”

  “Not too early.”

  ***

  When Charlie got home from the gym, there was still no sign of Pretty. He was now officially worried, and he couldn’t shake the suspicion that Amelia might have something to do with the cat’s disappearance. If Pretty didn’t show up by morning, he planned to go upstairs and confront Amelia. Not something he was looking forward to.

  There was the sound of voices and laughter coming from the microphone, so Charlie took a look through the magnifying glass. Greta and Lewis were seated outside her house, enjoying what appeared to be a glass of champagne.

  “Hi, Charlie!” She called out when she spotted him.

  “Hi. Are you two celebrating something?”

  “It’s our one-week anniversary.”

  Just then, Charlie spotted Bunty at the upstairs window of her house. She pulled a sour face, and put a finger in her mouth as though she was about to gag.

  He ignored her.

  “That’s great, Greta. I wish you many more of them.”

  “Lewis.” Greta picked up her empty glass. “Do you think you could go and get me a refill? The bottle is in the fridge.”

  “Of course, my darling.” He gave her a peck on the lips, and then disappeared into the house.

  “I’m so pleased to see you’re back together,” Charlie said, in a hushed voice.

  “Me too. Lewis told me that Bunty had tricked him into coming over when I wasn’t here. He said he has no interest in her.”

  “How has she taken it?”

  “Not well, but I don’t care. I’ve tried my best to be reasonable with her, but it doesn’t do any good. She only ever thinks of herself. From now on, I’m going to think of myself and my future with Lewis.”

  “Good for you, Greta. I couldn’t be happier for you.”

  Chapter 8

  It was one of those times when you know you’re dreaming, but you still can’t force yourself to wake up.

  No one enjoyed a party more than Neil, but he wasn’t enjoying this one. At all. The partygoers were all ghouls—ugly, smelly ghouls in various stages of decay. Neil had spent the last ten minutes trying to avoid one particularly vile female whose foul breath was enough to knock you down at ten paces.

  At long last, he managed to force open one eye and then the other. Phew! Thank goodness he’d escaped that nightmare!

  Except that he hadn’t.

  Wide awake now, he was confronted by a scene every bit as horrific. The party he thought had been a dream was actually playing out in front of his eyes. His bedroom was full of ghouls, drinking, dancing and making out with one another. Leading the revelries was Mad Maggie, who was chewing the lips off the ghost of a man who appeared to have lost one side of his face. It was all Neil could do not to throw up.

  He was still trying to work out how he could get to the door without being noticed when Maggie pushed half-face away, and jumped onto the bed.

  “You’re awake, then.”

  “No, I’m not.” Neil closed his eyes tightly.

  “You can’t fool old Maggie. She saw those peepers.” Maggie put her fingers on his eyelids and forced them open. “Come and join the party. I’ve saved a dance for you.”

  “You can’t do this!”

  “Dance? Just wait until you see Maggie shake her booty.”

  “No! I mean you can’t do this!” He gestured to the crowd of partygoers. “This is my bedroom. You can’t hold a party in here.”

  “Tobias said you were a misery guts. He was right.” She jumped off the bed and went back to snogging half-face.

  Neil was about to make a dash for the door when he noticed a familiar figure in one corner of the room.

  “Socky!”

  “I know not of this ‘Socky’ to whom you refer.”

  “Sorry, Tobias, what’s going on in here?”

  “I would have thought that was obvious even to someone of such limited intelligence as you. Maggie is hosting one of her infamous parties.”

  “But this is my bedroom.”

  “Actually, it’s my office.”

  “Why are you allowing her to do it, then? Can’t you stop her?”

  “I could, but ever since I lost Bella to that cad, Getmore, I can’t think about anything else.”

  “What if I was to promise to help you to win her back, will you get Maggie and the rest of them out of here?”

  “Your word is worthless. You promised to help me win back Bella once before, but then reneged on that promise.”

  “I won’t this time. I promise.”

  “You promise not to break your promise?” Socky scoffed. “What kind of fool do you take Tobias Fotheringham for?”

  “Okay. If I actually get Bella back for you, will you get rid of Mad Maggie?”

  “If you deliver the love of my life into my arms, then I will make sure you are never troubled by that foul-mouthed old hag again.”

  “Or any of her ugly, smelly friends?”

  “You have my word. And unlike you, Tobias Fotheringham does not go back on a promise.”

  “Okay. It’s a deal.” Neil glanced around. “Isn’t there any way you could get rid of this lot now?”

  “You know the terms of our contract.” Socky walked away.

  Neil wasn’t going to get a wink of sleep while this crowd were cavorting around, so he grabbed a pillow, went through to the living area and got down on the sofa.

  ***

  “Neil! Wake up!” Dorothy shook the sleeping figure.

  “Get away from me!” He sat up sharply. “Have they gone?”

  “Have who gone?”

  “The ghouls.”

  “You must have been dreaming.”

  “What are you doing on the sofa, mate?” Charlie shouted from the kitchen.

  Neil was slowly starting to come around. After first checking that Susan wasn’t in the room, he said, “Mad Maggie was holding a wild party in my bedroom last night. I had to come out here to get some shut-eye.”

  “Why didn’t you chuck her out?” Dorothy nudged Neil, so he’d let her squeeze onto the sofa.

  “She won’t take any notice of me.”

  “Who won’t?” Susan appeared from her bedroom.

  “Err—Debs at work. She’s always being insubordinate.”

  “Did you sleep on there?”

  “Yeah, it was too hot in my bedroom.”

  “That’s weird. It was always freezing when I was in there.”

  Charlie couldn’t wait any longer to find out if Pretty was back, so he went out onto the landing, but there was still no sign of her.

  “Pretty! Pretty!”

  Still nothing.

  “Stop calling that stupid cat!” Dorothy yelled. “Have you forgotten I’ve got two canaries in here?”

  He came back into the apartment. “She’s still missing.”

  “Good,” Dorothy said. “Hopefully, she’s found another mug to feed her, and that’s the last we’ll see of her.”

  “Dorothy!” Susan could see how upset Charlie was. “There’s no need for that.”

  “I might have known you’d side with him. Have all of you forgotten that cats aren’t allowed under the terms of our lease? I don’t intend to be thrown out of here because of you cat lovers.”

  There were times, and th
is was one of them, when Susan could have gladly strangled Dorothy. Instead, she decided to change the subject.

  “You lot will never guess what story I’m working on at the moment.”

  “The problems of alcoholism in the newspaper industry?” Dorothy suggested.

  Ignoring the snark, Susan continued, “I’ve asked my assistant to research all unexplained sightings of wolf-like creatures in and around the Washbridge area.”

  Dorothy and Neil both glanced at Charlie, who looked more than a little uncomfortable.

  “When you say wolf-like—?” Neil began.

  “I know what you’re thinking. When I told Greg what I was doing, he immediately jumped to the same conclusion: that I was hunting for werewolves. That’s simply not the case. I’m assuming it’ll turn out to be wild dogs, or possibly even wolves, who occasionally wander into the city—perhaps when there’s a scarcity of food in their natural habitat. What do you think?”

  “I think the alcoholism story would be more interesting.” Dorothy yawned.

  ***

  When Susan went back into her bedroom, Neil took the opportunity to have a word with the other two sups.

  “Sorry, guys, but I won’t be able to give you a lift this morning.”

  “I don’t know why you’re telling me.” Dorothy shrugged. “I don’t work at the bookshop anymore. I left yesterday.”

  “Don’t you have to work your notice?”

  “I would have done if the boss hadn’t been such an idiot about it. He started having a go at me, so I told him to stick his job and walked out.”

  “How come you didn’t tell us last night?”

  “Because the human was around, and I was worried she might start asking awkward questions about my new business. Tilly and I are going to look at industrial units today, to see if we can find anything suitable.”

  “Why aren’t you going into work this morning, Neil?” Charlie said.

  “I’ve got to do something about Mad Maggie. I can’t spend another night on this sofa, but there’s no way I can sleep in my bedroom while she’s holding those wild parties.”

  “What can you do about her?” Dorothy said.

  “Socky has promised to get her out of there if I help him to win back his lady friend.”